Uncertainty & Leadership

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

I have been reading a book I absolutely love and offer my highest possible recommendation - love Kindness by Barry H. Corey. I can't wait to read the next chapter of this book every day and I don't want it to end. It is so powerful and it challenges me greatly. I absolutely love it.

Earlier this week I read a chapter that spoke deeply to my heart. I want to share a few excerpts and then I will share a few thoughts. What I am sharing comes from Chapter 2. I hope these words speak to your heart as deeply as they have spoken to mine. :)

"Lost to many readers of Hebrews 11, however, are ten inconspicuous words. Abraham obeyed and went, "even though he did not know where he was going" (verse 8). Read: Uncertainty.

This is among the most honest but glossed-over lines in the sacred Scriptures. Even though Abraham obeyed God and went, the writer of Hebrews says Abraham didn't have a clue about the journey ahead. And he owned up to the fact that he didn't.

Stop and ponder that for a moment. This isn't just Abraham's line. It's your line. It's my line.

Who hasn't been there, the place where life is so uncertain we don't know where we're going? We don't know what's next? And we want to hide behind the facade that we do know where we're going, that we're certain about life. Or we want to turn around and go back to where life is safe and familiar."

"And the truth is, I cried not just because I was sad, but because I was scared. Sure, I'd been disguising it behind half-feigned stories of adventure on the journey and heartstringed lines about fathers and sons and the trip of a lifetime. But the fear was real.

What troubled Anders and me was not the loss of the life we'd left behind but the uncertainty of the unknown life to come. For some, uncertainties are opiates: the more the unknown, the bigger the thrill. Not for me. Not for my son. And not for most."

"We think the antidote to uncertainty is certainty. It's not."

"The cross-country problem for me became this: If the antidote to uncertainty is not certainty, then what is it? How do we, the people of God who are living in uncertainty, respond if certainty is never an option?

Here is what I have discovered and what I am still figuring out. The antidote to uncertainty is not certainty. It's confidence.

In God's metanarrative of grace, there is world of difference between certainty and confidence. Certainty means I know what will happen next, and I don't. I might have an idea and make my plans accordingly, but the truth is I really do not know what is coming next. Some seasons of my life I'm even more aware of these uncertainties than others.

But confidence means I trust what will happen next. The word confidence, con plus fides, means "with faith." We journey by faith and not by sight."

This section of the book spoke so deeply to my heart! Two things were profound to me:

1. Hearing Barry described his uncertainty, was so...powerful. In that moment I felt this deep sense of connection to him, though I have never met him. All of the sudden, I felt that I was not alone. I could completely relate to the conversation he was having with his son, the heaviness of the moment, the very real uncertainty, and yes, the very real fear. At once it was so affirming. I am not alone. I am not the only one who has felt these things. It was raw, it was real, and I could complete relate to him.

And by the way, one of the real key points Barry makes throughout his book is that it is this, being fully open and transparent about our struggles, that opens the door to loving-kindness. We try so hard to put on the facades he talks about...to make it look like we have it all together. Yet, it is our weaknesses, challenges, struggles...whatever you want to call 'em, that make us most relateable to others. Powerful!

2. Confidence - con plus fides, "with faith." Yes! This is what I, and perhaps you, have been looking for in these moments of despair. I thought I wanted certainty. I gravitate towards the familiar. I work so hard to try to create the comfortable and yet, the real antidote to uncertainty is confidence. Not in ourselves or our abilities but in God, the one we can trust. The shift in perspective, at least for me, changes everything.

And it strikes me as profound, that while Barry talks about the ten words of Hebrews 11: 8 - "even though he did not know where he was going" - the entire scripture starts with, "By faith." Not with certainty. Not with no doubt or without question. No, the scripture starts with "By faith." With confidence, when called, Abraham obeyed and went, "even though he did not know where he was going."

I also want to talk, for just a moment, about leadership. Earlier this week, when visiting with my oldest Tender Warrior, Payton, I made the statement, "I wish there was someone who had told me this when I was your age." We then had a wonderful conversation about leadership. Well, I want to put this out there in case some young leader needs to hear these words.

As John C. Maxwell says in his book, The Leader's Greatest Return: Attracting, Developing, and Multiplying Leaders, "In the end, the only way for any person to learn leadership is to lead." To you this is, perhaps, not profound. To me? It is...everything!

I was a Head Baseball Coach at the college level at 21-years old. I was a Head Football Coach at 28-years old. And I was an Athletic Director at 32-years old. And each step of the way I didn't want to be the leader. In my mind I always wanted to be the #2 person. I wanted to have someone to watch and learn from so I could learn leadership. Now you are seeing why this quote is so powerful for me.

To learn leadership, lead. If you have been put in a position to lead others, have confidence - with faith - and trust that everything is going to work out. Yes, you will stub your toe...that's o.k., so long as you learn and grow. Don't push back against the opportunity before you but rather embrace your journey.

And I want to point out that this is not just about leadership...it is about anything we do. Maybe your not called to be a leader but you are called to be a writer, a singer, a musician, a craftsman. The same principle applies: you learn by doing. Further in his book, John sights a study done by Anders Ericsson and two colleagues on the power of practice over talent. They studied violinists. It is noted that the biographies of the violinists were very similar - when they began to practice, when they decided to become musicians, how many teachers they had, etc. It was all eerily similar. What separated those who taught music, those who had careers with the world's best orchestras, and those who had careers as international star soloists? Practice. To learn leadership, lead.

Quoting Maxwell, "By age twenty, the bottom group had practiced four thousand fewer hours than the middle group, and the middle group had practiced two thousand fewer hours than the top group, which had practiced ten thousand hours."

To learn leadership, or anything else, do it. Don't push back against these affinities or opportunities but rather, embrace them. It is the only way to learn.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev