The Impact of One Life

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

Last Saturday I shared a post on Facebook that said:

LOVE YOU Mama

What I'd give, If I could say "Hello Mama" in the same old way. To hear her voice and see her smile, to sit with her and chat for awhile. So, if your Mother is still here, cherish her with care, for you'll never know the heartache until you see her empty chair.

Miss you Mama

Now, a little tip/hint that has nothing to do with this Happy Friday...I have found it is the voice that I cherish/miss/long for the most. The part where it says, "to hear her voice" and "to sit with her and chat for awhile"...so powerfully resonates with me. I have the last voicemail my Mom ever left me saved on my cell phone. It is unique, it is her...

So, before sharing the post I wrote something my Mom told me a thousand times and I also wrote, "Not hard to figure out why I am the way I am." You see, most of you never met my Mom however in knowing her son, or reading his posts, you are being impacted by her. I thought back to all the players I was privileged to coach, all the people I have worked with, all of the people I have had the privilege to stand before and give a message, all the people I have been honored and privileged to have in my life...they were all impacted by my Mom and the lessons she lovingly, patiently, imparted on me. She never truly knew the impact of her one life on what must surely be literally thousands, however her impact has been truly profound!

There are a few things that my Mom really stood for and believed that have a whole lot to do with the man I am today. I would like to share them with you this morning.

• 7th grade football...will never forget it. We used to do this silly thing right after we stretched. Coach would call us all together in a big group, blow his whistle and we were all supposed to find someone to hit. Well on this day, I found no one to hit. So, I found a guy already on the ground and went and stood over him. Very proud of how smart I was to handle this situation so well, I told Mom about it after practice. She looked me dead in the eye (that was one of her favorite expressions by the way - "dead in the eye") which was the first indication a great lesson was being taught and said, "Don't you ever make yourself look good at someone else's expense." Lesson learned Mom...
• I honestly don't remember the exact situation but I was 5 or 6-years old. I lied, or I should say, tried to lie. I don't remember the words she spoke however I can still see the look of utter disappointment on her face. I vowed that day that I would not lie...the cost was too great. To this day I have a deep aversion to dishonesty, mine or others. Lesson learned Mom...
• There are literally countless examples of this next one. The quote by Albert Schweitzer, "Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing." comes to mind right now. If you had a need or were in need of help, Mom was going to be there for you. If you needed money, she would give it. If you needed a hand, she would lend it. If you needed to talk, she made you feel as though she had been waiting for you to share. If someone is in need of help, we help them. Simple as that. Lesson learned Mom...
• And the quote I shared on Facebook; "Put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step, and you make this a great day!" Which day? This one! Whichever day it is, it is this one! There is no reason, situation, or circumstance that can or should prevent us from putting a bounce in our step, a smile on our face, and from doing everything we can to make this a great day. I have had her sweet voice of affirmation ringing in my ears on days I was sad, fearful, lost, hurt, etc. and, the boy who so deeply cherished his Mom, gave everything he had to put a smile on his face, a bounce in his step, and he did everything he could do to make it a great day. Throughout my life so many people have said things like, "You are always so positive" or "You are always so encouraging." And on so many of those day, on so many occasions, what they were really commenting on was me striving to walk out what my Mom encouraged me to do. Lesson learned Mom...

These four main lessons - never make yourself look good at someone else's expense; be honest; if you can help someone, do it; put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step, and you make this a great day! - have greatly shaped the man I am and the life I live. It all started with a beautiful woman who very lovingly poured into her son every day of her life. And that one beautiful life has impacted so many other lives through the son who deeply loved, valued, cherished, and adored his Mom. It is beautiful, it is profound, and the exact same applies to me and you! The lessons we are teaching our sons and daughters, our friends and co-workers, will reach to a time and place, to people, we will never personally meet. The importance however is immeasurable. Never doubt the impact of one life.

I also feel compelled to share another key point here. My Mom used to often talk about how she felt so inadequate as a Mom. It sounded crazy to me then, still does now. As a Dad however, I totally get it. Have you ever been there? Don't forget that honesty part up above! :) The reality is, most of us feel inadequate at one point or another...that is the reality of our feelings however our feelings are not truth! The truth is, you are perfect for your son or daughter, your husband or your wife. As Dabo Swinney once said, "God doesn't say 'oops'." While you might feel inadequate, you are not. You are learning, growing, and becoming all you were created to become...just like your son, daughter, husband, or wife. Keep showing up, every day! Give the very best you have to that day! You are enough! You are the perfect Mom, Dad, Husband, or Wife for that person! And while you may feel that the things you are saying and doing are not making a difference, I want to share a little story that will hopefully encourage you.

My Mom used to read The Daily Bread - a Bible devotional - to me every morning...like, literally, every morning. :) Through Junior High and High School, I hardly ever listened - I have no idea how I got away with being so disrespectful. Perhaps she was teaching me mercy! :) I might be doing something else and her voice - that one I so desperately miss now - was nothing more than noise in the background. But she never gave up. She kept reading to me every day. Today? The son rarely starts a day without reading his Bible and he and his wife read a devotional every morning together. A coincidence? Hardly! It is the fruit of the tree from the seeds that the Mom planted over and over, though the ground seemed dry and barren. What we do matters...every day!

Please, Sweet Friends, never doubt or minimize the impact of one life! You matter and the life you live matters! You are perfect for the life you have been called to live! Let's live like it, intentionally, every day! :)

There is also three tools I want to put in your toolbox this morning. They are sayings I came across this week.

"Marriage is hard.

Divorce is hard.

Choose your hard.

Obesity is hard.

Being fit is hard.

Choose your hard.

Being in debt is hard.

Being financially disciplined is hard.

Choose your hard.

Communication is hard.

Not communicating is hard.

Choose your hard.

Life will never be easy. It will always be hard.

But we can choose our hard." - Unknown

"Your day doesn't have to be perfect to have meaning.

Showing up matters.

Giving matters.

Trying matters.

Loving matters.

Being there matters.

Perfection doesn't matter. 

You matter." - Rachel Marie Martin

HOW I STAY IN PEACE

- I trust God more and depend on myself less

- I stay in my lane and do what is mine to do

- I live in my present day, not in the past or in the future

- I cast my cares upon God, choose joy, and let God do what I cannot

~ Unknown

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev