It's A New Day

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This one is going to be special…you can just feel it!!! 😊

I would be remiss if I did not start this Happy Friday by wishing my Beautiful Bride a Happy Birthday! You are my greatest earthly blessing and my highest calling! It is truly an honor and privilege to be your husband and I love, value, cherish, and adore you! 😊

This week I am going to share a story, a song, and a few thoughts. It is all based on the song “Burn the Ships” by for King & Country. That song hits me different every time and, having heard it again this week, I just had to share it with you all this week!

Here is the story behind the song. What I am sharing here was written by Mark Geil on October 2, 2018. The title of the article is “for King & Country – Story Behind the Song ‘Burn the Ships’”. You can find the article at ccmmagazine.com.

“For King & Country‘s new album Burn the Ships is filled with personal songs born out of traumatic moments and difficult lessons learned. The band’s ability to convey these vulnerable experiences into song is what helps connect them with an audience that reaches around the world. We recently asked Luke Smallbone to take us behind one of the new songs, specifically the title track, to show an example of where the band’s songwriting is centered.

“When my wife was pregnant with our second son, Phoenix, she was dealing with a lot of morning sickness. She went to the doctor, and he gave her some medicine to help with the nausea. I was out on the road a decent amount during that time. I noticed her behavior changed a little bit, but she was pregnant, so that’s not unusual.

One particular day, I was in Austin, Texas getting ready for a show that evening. She called me and said, “I need you to come home. I can’t stop taking these pills.” I asked my other brother, who was in town, to go be with Courtney and make sure she was okay. I got on a plane and came home.

As the night went on, she would start shaking and having these conversations like, “Maybe the doctors want me to just taper off, not stop taking these right away.” She was almost hallucinating. Of all the things I’ve experienced, I think that was the most difficult thing I’ve dealt with, because the next day I had to take her to a mental hospital.

When they called her back, I got up to go back with her, like a normal doctor’s appointment, and they said, “No. You can’t come.” I felt so much grief in that moment. She had outpatient therapy every day. We actually had some amazing memories of that time. She excelled, she was doing great, but she still felt this pull to pills. One day I went home and she said, “Luke, I’ve got to symbolize something, I’ve got to flush these pills down the toilet. I’m done. I’m done with the guilt and the shame. I’ve got to move into a new way. A new life.”

When she was flushing those pills, the analogy of burning the ships came to me: the story of the sailors not wanting to explore the new world, wanting the comforts of their boats. Their leader calls them out and says, “We’ve got to burn the ships. This is a new world.”

It was a unique moment that I’m thankful is in the past, that we get to talk about in this manner now.”

And here is the lyrics to the song. Please, if you have just a few moments, go listen to the song…you will not regret it! 😊

Burn the Ships

for King & Country

You can find the lyrics at Christian-songlyrics.net 

How did we get here?

All castaway on a lonely shore

I can see in your eyes, dear

It's hard to take for a moment more

We've got to

Burn the ships, cut the ties

Send a flare into the night

Say a prayer, turn the tide

Dry your tears and wave goodbye

Step into a new day

We can rise up from the dust and walk away

We can dance upon our heartache, yeah

So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships

And don't you look back

Don't let it arrest you

This fear is fear of fallin' again

And if you need a refuge

I will be right here until the end

Oh, it's time to

Burn the ships, cut the ties

Send a flare into the night

Say a prayer, turn the tide

Dry your tears and wave goodbye

Step into a new day

We can rise up from the dust and walk away

We can dance upon our heartache, yeah

So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships

And don't you look back

So long to shame, walk through the sorrow

Out of the fire into tomorrow

So flush the pills, face the fear

Feel the wave disappear

We're comin' clear, we're born again

Our hopeful lungs can breathe again

Oh, we can breathe again

Step into a new day

We can rise up from the dust and walk away

We can dance upon our heartache, yeah

So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships

And step into a new day

We can rise up from the dust and walk away

We can dance upon our heartache, yeah

So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships

And don't you look back

And don't you look back

And don't you look back

Powerful, isn’t it? 😊

So Sweet Friends, it is a new day! Perhaps you don’t know how you got to where you are today – spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc. – however you don’t have to stay there. You can step into a new day TODAY! You can rise up and walk away TODAY! You can light a match, leave the past, and burn the ships TODAY! You can step into a new day TODAY! And please, don’t look back…you are not going that way TODAY! 😊

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev

The Beginning of Humility

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious, frigid, new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! 😊

This is fascinating to me! Come on, grab a cup of coffee, have a seat, and let’s take a look at this together….

Yesterday morning when reading my Bible, I came across this verse:

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor. – 1 Peter 5:6

A couple of things:

1. Every morning when reading either my Bible or a leadership book, I will pick a word, search quotes about it, and that is how I determine the quotes I will put on Facebook and Twitter every day. It is my way of learning. Yesterday morning, based on that scripture, I chose the word “humility.”

2. The “at the right time” jumped out at me…so much so that I underlined it after I had written it down with my scriptures. Interesting, isn’t it? At the right time… Lord, please give my patience…but hurry!!! 😊

Now, before I share a couple of the quotes that I find fascinating, I want to share a few definitions of humility that you will find if you search for it…

According to Oxford Dictionaries, humility is “a modest or low view of one’s own importance”

According to Cambridge Dictionary, humility is “the quality of not being proud because you are aware of your bad qualities”

According to Merriam-Webster, humility is “the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people”

Not a lot of clarity is there? I think the Merriam-Webster definition comes closest to what I think/believe humility is however it still doesn’t feel complete. I will just leave that here and allow you to do with it whatever you want! 😊

Now, the quotes… They knocked me for a loop. Here they are…

“To be humble is to be grounded in knowing who you are. It implies the responsibility to become what you were meant to become – to grow, to reach, to fully bloom as high and as strong and grand as you were created to. It is not honorable for a tree to wilt and shrink and disappear. It’s not honorable for a woman to, either.” – Glennon Doyle Melton

“Humility is the greatest shaper of souls and crafter of character, for it wipes away all the grandiose things that we spend so much of our lives pretending to be, so that we can spend all of our lives being the exceptional person that we were actually created to be.” – Craig D. Lounsbrough

How about that?!?! The beginning of humility is you and I simply becoming who we were created to become. No whining, complaining, comparing, or shaming! Simply walking our path, developing all of ourselves – our mental capabilities, our emotional maturity, our physical abilities, our gifts, and talents – to the very best of our ability! The only competition is our own potential! It is not predicated on our situation, circumstances, or anyone else. It is simply me and you doing all we can do to become all we are capable of becoming…simple as that!

Now, two things are running through my mind…

One of the greatest coaches of all time, perhaps the greatest, defined success as…

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.” – John Wooden

And then, this…

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” – Romans 12: 6 – 8

Do you hear it?! Be YOU! Be the absolute best version of YOU! This is where success is found and it is what every one of us has been called to…to simply be the fearfully and wonderfully made person that you and I, and every other precious soul walking the face of this earth, were created to become! So simple…so hard!! The beginning of humility… 😊

So there it is, Friends! The challenge I have for each of us is this: empty every day of its potential. Please, strive to become all you are capable of becoming each day! Don’t fret about yesterday or worry about tomorrow…we have no power there! I love the saying that goes something like, “You only have the strength you need for today. If you live this day well, you will have the strength for the next day when it gets here. Just live each day fully!” I slaughtered the whole thing, but you get the point! 😊

And in closing I will simply tell you this; you matter, and your life has great value, meaning, and purpose. I truly believe that, and I sincerely hope you do too!! 😊

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!!! 😊

Kev

Honoring Everyone

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day has dawned in the great state of Missouri! Blessed to spend the weekend with Payton! 😊

On Tuesday I listened to the Focus on the Family broadcast. The guest was Pastor Ted Cunningham and the title was, “Why It’s Important to Honor Others.” His message was profound, and I just knew I had to share it with you all! With this, I am simply going to share several excerpts from the transcript. I sincerely hope you find as much wisdom and meaning in it as I do! 😊

“You’re an image bearer of Almighty God, and you have automatic intrinsic value. Your value comes from God, not me. Your value comes from God, not your spouse, not your children, not your parents, not to pastor, not your co-workers.”

“…the word is simply, honor. I love the word honor. Honor means to esteem as highly valuable. And I want to look at this word three ways today. First, I want to explore it from the scripture and then I want to challenge all of us. And this is a challenging message for me because I know how I tend to value people and how I tend to look at people, but I want to look at them through the eyes of God, I want to see them as image bearers of Almighty God.

“…it all starts for us with the image of God in man, the Imago Dei. Genesis 1:27 reads, So God created mankind in his own image. In the image of God he created them.”

“We see every human being as personally autographed by God and highly valuable. Gary Smalley put it this way, “Honor is a decision we make to place high value, worth and importance on another person.” Whether we realize it or not, the value we attach to God, our children, and ourselves greatly determines the success or failure of our relationships. Now, here’s the cool thing about honor, and it’s the most important thing we can learn about honor today before we get practical, honor recognizes value, it does not set value. When I honor you, I am calling out the value in your life, I’m not determining it. You know what that means? There’s nothing I can say or do that adds to or takes away from your value, nothing. I can’t add anything to it, and I can’t take anything away from it, all I can do is recognize it and call it out.”

“This word gets me emotional because, you know what, someone’s listening to the broadcast right now who feels worthless. They’ve been told that by a parent, they’ve been told that by a spouse. And for years, and years, and years, and they’re driving right now, they’re at work, they’re at home, they feel worthless. And I just want to remind that listener, that is a feeling, not the truth. Ryan Pannell, one of the therapists at Hope Restored with Focus on the Family, I love what he says about feelings, because too often in the church we like to stuff our feelings, we like to tell people, don’t pay attention to feelings. Ryan’s got the best quote on feelings I’ve ever heard, he said, “Feelings are like our children, we should listen to them, we should care for them, but we should not allow them to make major decisions for our family.”

“So if you’re feeling worthless right now, guess what, that is a feeling, don’t allow that to make major decisions for your life. Because the truth is, you are an image bearer of Almighty God, and you have automatic intrinsic value. Your value comes from God, not me. Your value comes from God, not your spouse, not your children, not your parents, not your pastor, not your co-workers, not strangers you meet on the street. Your value is not based on another’s thoughts, feelings, words, or actions. And if I can just say it another way, your value is not based on your thoughts, feelings, words and actions.  God determined your value by creating you in His image. Every single human being is created in the image of God and has automatic intrinsic value.”

“You see, we tend to value people, and I’ll put myself in this, this is why I need to be challenged with this message, we tend to value people based on their age. We value people based on their job. Why do you think when after you meet someone one of the follow up questions, first follow up questions is what, what do you do? We like to ask, what do you do, so I can then figure out how long this conversation is going to last. We value people based on status and income, race, nationality, political party, behavior, abilities, disabilities, intelligence, sexual orientation. And I think there’s another important thing to say about honor, I do not need to agree with your decisions, I do not need to agree with your lifestyle choices to see you as someone who was created in the image of God.”

“And so I want to encourage us as we walk through this, and we talk about honor and give some very practical ways. I love getting into the practical ways, because we can talk about this all day long, but how do we live it out? How do we walk it out in our family and in the workplace, and even with strangers, (laughing) even with people that we don’t agree with, even with people of the opposite party? Because how I think about people and how I treat people, that matters to God, it matters to God.  And it’s easy to honor those who think like me, believe like me and vote like me. What did Jesus say in Matthew 5:46-47, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” In other words, there’s no skill needed to love an easy to love person. There’s no skill needed to honor someone who’s being nice to you. So how do you live this out practically?”

“...ways that you can affirm another’s value …”

“…the first thing I want to encourage you to do is write it. Write it down. I walked into Gary Smalley’s office, and he was working on something, and it was four pieces of paper stapled together, and across the top it said, all the reasons why Norma is highly valuable. And I said, “Gary, what is this?” He goes, “Well it’s an honor list.” I go, “What do you, what do you do with this?” He said, “Well, I’ve been keeping track of all the reasons why Norma is highly valuable because, right, confirmation bias teaches us we make decisions and then we look for the evidence to back them up.” He said, “This is all of the decisions … they’re all the decisions that I have made about Norma, and I like to be reminded of her value.” He said, “After we get into a fight or we get into conflict, I come back in here and I grab this list.” He said, “And, and it’s not the time to edit.” He said, “I don’t walk in and pick it up and look at it and be like, that’s not true.” No, he said, “No, I, I am reminded …” And if, if you knew Gary personally, you know he’s a pretty emotional guy. He said, “I usually don’t have to get off the first page before the tears start flowing and I’m reminded of her value, and I go back to her just in a different posture.”

“Proverbs 22:1 says, a good name is more desirable than great riches. To be esteemed is better than gold or silver.”

“Write it down, but gift it. And even better than that I have found, write it, gift it, number three, speak it out loud. Can I tell you … let me tell you, one of the best ways to teach your children to honor God, others, and you is to honor each other. Let them see you practice honor. But one of the best ways to show that, to model that is with each other. And so I don’t just give this to Amy, I don’t just write it down about Amy, I don’t just gift it to Amy, but I make sure my children are present and I will read these words out loud in front of my kids. I want them to see how important this is, why? Proverbs 18:21 says, the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. When we speak words of high value into people, when we speak words of high value over people, right, when we’re speaking these words to people, reminding them, not setting, but reminding them of their value, it’s so life giving. If you want to raise kids who know how to honor people and the image of God in man, and see people as autographed by God and highly valuable, then let them see you treat people that way, in the home, in the workplace, to strangers on the street.”

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay safe! 😊

Kev

The Two Most Important Things...

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new, incredibly cold, day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! I also sincerely hope that 2022 is off to a great start for each one of you! 😊

This weeks “Happy Friday” is going to fall into the category of one man’s opinion with a heavy dose of encouragement! At the end of the day each one of us must decide, we will decide, how we will live our lives, what we will stand for, and with that, what we are willing to give our lives to! It’s the one life each one of us has the honor and privilege of living…I hope and pray that we will all choose to live it well!

Both points I am going to make in this “Happy Friday” are based on things I read and heard in the last couple of weeks. The more I have thought about them, I truly do believe – other than accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and personal Savior! 😊 – they are the two most important things in life.

O.K., so I am going to start off this first one with a confession; I don’t remember the exact quote! Augh! I have reread Facebook posts and tweets, I have looked through notes I have written and a book I am reading, I have looked at old Bible studies…Nothing! I can’t find it anywhere. So, it was something like, “Don’t let your platform be greater than your character” or maybe it was something like, “If your platform is greater than your character you will fall” or it could have even been, “Your platform will never be greater than the level of your character” (thanks, Payton, but I still don’t think that is exactly right! ☹). Regardless, you get the point, if your platform is greater than your character, you are in trouble!!!

Character, the one thing we all have that we have nurtured and developed from the time we were children. We own it! We can’t blame it on our situation or circumstances, our successes or our failures…it is formed by the countless choices we have made over time! I am sorry if you don’t like reading it, there are parts of all our stories that we are not particularly proud of, however just because we don’t like the way it looks or sounds, does not mean it is not true. If only we will accept responsibility for it, we will then have the power to change and control it. Just as we did not get where we are today in one single step, we won’t get to where we want to be in one step however, we can take a thousand little steps, one at a time, day by day, that will lead us to being the person that we want to be, that we can be proud of.

So, I would argue, that the #1 most important thing is our character. And please, let me be clear, having good character does not guarantee worldly success just as bad character does not guarantee that someone will not have worldly success…just the way it works. Having good character however will give you the greatest gift of all…a deep peace in your heart, regardless of your situation, circumstance, success, and/or failures. While I would absolutely love to be a “success” in my chosen field of endeavor – and I sincerely hope you are too!!! 😊 – I am far more concerned that I develop my character to be the man I was created to become so that when I look into the mirror, I can be proud of the man looking back at me!

I am going to be thinking and praying a lot about this one! I am going to pray for wisdom – the Bible tells me it will be given to me if only I will ask the Holy Spirit for it – and I am going to determine – in my mind, heart, and spirit – to be a man of great character. 54-years of living this life have taught me that there will be days and seasons where I do better than others, that my commitment will be tested in mighty, unimaginable, ways. I have also learned that His mercy and grace is new each day, that if I have the courage to stand up again the next day, regardless of the successes or failures of the day before and continue to walk out what I have already determined in my mind, heart, and spirit to do, I will in fact become the man He created me to become. I will be able to stand on whatever platform He gives me! 😊

In addition to praying for wisdom and making a decision about the life I will live, I have also found that quotes educate and inspire me. With this, I am going to share some that I found that spoke to my heart.

“People of character do the right thing even if no one else does, not because they think it will change the world but because they refuse to be changed by the world.” – Michael Josephson

“Character, not circumstances, makes the man.” – Booker T. Washington

“When character is lost, all is lost.” – Billy Graham

“Character is revealed when pressure is applied.” – Unknown

“You express the truth of your character with the choice of your actions.” – Steve Maraboli

“No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – Helen Keller

“Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are to some extent a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece by thought, choice, courage, and determination.” – John Luther

“Character is destiny.” – Heraclitus

“Character isn’t something you were born with and can’t change, like your fingerprints. It’s something you weren’t born with and must take responsibility for forming.” – Jim Rohn

I know the 2^nd one!!! 😊 I was listening to an At The Table podcast with Patrick Lencioni. The podcast I was listening to was titled, “Being Smart is Overrated.” He is not advocating against being smart or the importance of strategic leadership and vision. What he is talking about is being more concerned about having a healthy organization – be it a family, a church or other non-profit, a business, etc. And what does healthy look like? People feel valued and appreciated and they have good relationships with one another. Who knew?!?! People and the relationships we have with them…the 2^nd most important thing!!! And by the way, if we don’t have good character, we will struggle to truly value and appreciate people and our relationships will be a toxic mess! I digress….

I want to strongly encourage each one of us to truly value and appreciate people…all people! Every person has value, meaning, and purpose…there is no junk! Please, let’s intentionally value and appreciate them, treat them with respect. Perhaps they are not people of good character, or they have made bad choices, we are not valuing and appreciating them because of who they are per se, we are valuing and appreciating them because of who we are! Remember, our situation and circumstances do not define our character! And then one that punches me in the gut every time…please think about this one… ”You will never look into the eyes of a person that God does not love.” – Unknown

And I also want to encourage each one of us to build pure, authentic relationships with others. People, and our relationships with them, give life meaning and bring great joy. Please, don’t wait for someone to reach out a hand, reach first. Invite someone to lunch or dinner. Be the first to say “Hi.” Be genuinely interested in others and their lives.

One final word; please remember, the Bible does not say “get along with everyone.” Some people will not reciprocate when you reach out a hand, are kind, etc. That is just the way it is. Please don’t be mean, rude, disrespectful, etc. The Bible does say, “so much as it is up to you, get along with everyone.” That is something all of us control and it is a reflection of our character! 😊

I am going to close with a powerful quote that we will all need at some point in time or another…

“You will not always be motivated, so you must learn to be disciplined.” – Unknown

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, please stay well, and have a healthy, prosperous, and Happy New Year! 😊

Kev