Honoring Everyone

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day has dawned in the great state of Missouri! Blessed to spend the weekend with Payton! 😊

On Tuesday I listened to the Focus on the Family broadcast. The guest was Pastor Ted Cunningham and the title was, “Why It’s Important to Honor Others.” His message was profound, and I just knew I had to share it with you all! With this, I am simply going to share several excerpts from the transcript. I sincerely hope you find as much wisdom and meaning in it as I do! 😊

“You’re an image bearer of Almighty God, and you have automatic intrinsic value. Your value comes from God, not me. Your value comes from God, not your spouse, not your children, not your parents, not to pastor, not your co-workers.”

“…the word is simply, honor. I love the word honor. Honor means to esteem as highly valuable. And I want to look at this word three ways today. First, I want to explore it from the scripture and then I want to challenge all of us. And this is a challenging message for me because I know how I tend to value people and how I tend to look at people, but I want to look at them through the eyes of God, I want to see them as image bearers of Almighty God.

“…it all starts for us with the image of God in man, the Imago Dei. Genesis 1:27 reads, So God created mankind in his own image. In the image of God he created them.”

“We see every human being as personally autographed by God and highly valuable. Gary Smalley put it this way, “Honor is a decision we make to place high value, worth and importance on another person.” Whether we realize it or not, the value we attach to God, our children, and ourselves greatly determines the success or failure of our relationships. Now, here’s the cool thing about honor, and it’s the most important thing we can learn about honor today before we get practical, honor recognizes value, it does not set value. When I honor you, I am calling out the value in your life, I’m not determining it. You know what that means? There’s nothing I can say or do that adds to or takes away from your value, nothing. I can’t add anything to it, and I can’t take anything away from it, all I can do is recognize it and call it out.”

“This word gets me emotional because, you know what, someone’s listening to the broadcast right now who feels worthless. They’ve been told that by a parent, they’ve been told that by a spouse. And for years, and years, and years, and they’re driving right now, they’re at work, they’re at home, they feel worthless. And I just want to remind that listener, that is a feeling, not the truth. Ryan Pannell, one of the therapists at Hope Restored with Focus on the Family, I love what he says about feelings, because too often in the church we like to stuff our feelings, we like to tell people, don’t pay attention to feelings. Ryan’s got the best quote on feelings I’ve ever heard, he said, “Feelings are like our children, we should listen to them, we should care for them, but we should not allow them to make major decisions for our family.”

“So if you’re feeling worthless right now, guess what, that is a feeling, don’t allow that to make major decisions for your life. Because the truth is, you are an image bearer of Almighty God, and you have automatic intrinsic value. Your value comes from God, not me. Your value comes from God, not your spouse, not your children, not your parents, not your pastor, not your co-workers, not strangers you meet on the street. Your value is not based on another’s thoughts, feelings, words, or actions. And if I can just say it another way, your value is not based on your thoughts, feelings, words and actions.  God determined your value by creating you in His image. Every single human being is created in the image of God and has automatic intrinsic value.”

“You see, we tend to value people, and I’ll put myself in this, this is why I need to be challenged with this message, we tend to value people based on their age. We value people based on their job. Why do you think when after you meet someone one of the follow up questions, first follow up questions is what, what do you do? We like to ask, what do you do, so I can then figure out how long this conversation is going to last. We value people based on status and income, race, nationality, political party, behavior, abilities, disabilities, intelligence, sexual orientation. And I think there’s another important thing to say about honor, I do not need to agree with your decisions, I do not need to agree with your lifestyle choices to see you as someone who was created in the image of God.”

“And so I want to encourage us as we walk through this, and we talk about honor and give some very practical ways. I love getting into the practical ways, because we can talk about this all day long, but how do we live it out? How do we walk it out in our family and in the workplace, and even with strangers, (laughing) even with people that we don’t agree with, even with people of the opposite party? Because how I think about people and how I treat people, that matters to God, it matters to God.  And it’s easy to honor those who think like me, believe like me and vote like me. What did Jesus say in Matthew 5:46-47, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” In other words, there’s no skill needed to love an easy to love person. There’s no skill needed to honor someone who’s being nice to you. So how do you live this out practically?”

“...ways that you can affirm another’s value …”

“…the first thing I want to encourage you to do is write it. Write it down. I walked into Gary Smalley’s office, and he was working on something, and it was four pieces of paper stapled together, and across the top it said, all the reasons why Norma is highly valuable. And I said, “Gary, what is this?” He goes, “Well it’s an honor list.” I go, “What do you, what do you do with this?” He said, “Well, I’ve been keeping track of all the reasons why Norma is highly valuable because, right, confirmation bias teaches us we make decisions and then we look for the evidence to back them up.” He said, “This is all of the decisions … they’re all the decisions that I have made about Norma, and I like to be reminded of her value.” He said, “After we get into a fight or we get into conflict, I come back in here and I grab this list.” He said, “And, and it’s not the time to edit.” He said, “I don’t walk in and pick it up and look at it and be like, that’s not true.” No, he said, “No, I, I am reminded …” And if, if you knew Gary personally, you know he’s a pretty emotional guy. He said, “I usually don’t have to get off the first page before the tears start flowing and I’m reminded of her value, and I go back to her just in a different posture.”

“Proverbs 22:1 says, a good name is more desirable than great riches. To be esteemed is better than gold or silver.”

“Write it down, but gift it. And even better than that I have found, write it, gift it, number three, speak it out loud. Can I tell you … let me tell you, one of the best ways to teach your children to honor God, others, and you is to honor each other. Let them see you practice honor. But one of the best ways to show that, to model that is with each other. And so I don’t just give this to Amy, I don’t just write it down about Amy, I don’t just gift it to Amy, but I make sure my children are present and I will read these words out loud in front of my kids. I want them to see how important this is, why? Proverbs 18:21 says, the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. When we speak words of high value into people, when we speak words of high value over people, right, when we’re speaking these words to people, reminding them, not setting, but reminding them of their value, it’s so life giving. If you want to raise kids who know how to honor people and the image of God in man, and see people as autographed by God and highly valuable, then let them see you treat people that way, in the home, in the workplace, to strangers on the street.”

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay safe! 😊

Kev