It Takes A Lifetime

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new opportunity begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This one is going to be a great one…I can just feel it! 😊

This week I simply want to offer a big dose of encouragement…

What is your purpose? What is your passion? What is the thing you love to do? What makes your heart happy when doing it? What is your vocation? Hopefully you are able to express through your vocation your purpose and passion, the thing you love to do and that makes you happy…that would be absolutely awesome! 😊

I want to encourage you this morning to keep showing up and keep working on whatever it is that sets your soul on fire. By our nature, and in our instant gratification society, we want to be experts at whatever it is we do right away however this is not how life works. While we might have a natural bent towards a certain skill, while we might have great potential, our gifts and skills are only fully developed through consistent effort and growth. And the saddest thing of all? The failure to fulfill the potential that resides within! I might not know you personally however I know that there is greatness within you. The only thing that must be decided, the thing we will all decide, is whether or not we will pursue it.

I want to share 3 quotes with you…

“I trained 4 years to run only 9 seconds. There are people who do not see results in 2 months, give up, and leave. Sometimes failure is sought by oneself.” – Usain Bolt

“If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all.” – Michelangelo

“It took me a lifetime.” – Picasso

Powerful, isn’t it? They accomplished greatness and many want the success they achieved however few, very few, are willing to pay the price they had to pay to attain it. Profound…

A 1993 study of accomplished violinists found that they had spent an average of 10,000 hours practicing by the age of 20. This led to the popular belief that it takes 10,000 hours to master something. However, a world-renowned expert on peak performance, Anders Ericsson, points out a couple of flaws with the 10,000-hour rule:

1. While the students were very good violinists, they were not masters. He suggested that it sometimes takes 20,000 to 25,000 hours to truly become experts or masters of a subject or skill. It takes a lifetime…
2. Not all skills are the same…some take more than 10,000 hours and some take less.

And here is a critically important component of becoming an expert or achieving mastery (taken from How Hard Is It to Become an Expert? by Kendra Cherry. The article was written on October 24, 2020. You can find the full article at verywellmind.com):

“Just putting in 10,000 hours rehearsing the same thing over and over again is not enough to become a true expert. Instead, concentrated, goal-directed, deliberate practice that stretches your abilities beyond your comfort zone is what you should pursue if you want to gain expertise in any area.”

Michelangelo’s quote starts making more sense, doesn’t it?! 😊 Concentrated…goal-directed…deliberate…stretches your abilities beyond your comfort zone...not for the weak of heart!

So I simply want to encourage you this morning, Sweet Friends; whatever it is that makes you feel fully alive, please pursue that every day of your life. Concentrate, establish your goals, and challenge yourself every day to go beyond your comfort zone. Like so many other things in life, this is not an event but a process. It is the journey in becoming all that you were created to become that the real meaning and significance of life is found.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev

Love the Unlovable

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! 😊

This week’s Happy Friday is a challenge – simple to understand, extremely difficult to do! It is totally counter-cultural today, and it is definitely not for the weak. It will take more wisdom, strength, and courage than most – if not all! – of us have. It will take being highly intentional, it will require us to overlook offenses, and we will have to swallow a lot of pride. Doesn’t this sound like a whole lot of fun?!?! 😊

The Challenge – Love the unlovable.

And who exactly is that? Well, it is not an exhaustive list however it could include those who do not think and act like you. It could also include those who don’t like you, are not nice to you, and are, perhaps, against you. It could include those who don’t share your beliefs, your thoughts, and your ideas. It could include those of the other political party…whatever that is for you (Gasp!). 😊

Matthew 5: 46 – 47 says:

46 If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even scoundrels do that much. 47 If you are friendly only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even the heathen do that.

I also want to share an excerpt from the excellent Bible Study by Carter Canlon titled “The Joy of Serving Others.”

“To be sure, not all people you serve will respond in love. In fact, you can pretty much expect betrayal to enter your life at some point, just as it entered Joseph’s life. Don’t be surprised if people close to you abandon you and pretend you don’t exist. Or, when they do acknowledge your compassion, they might ascribe false and unflattering motives to your good works.

We don’t learn to love people by being surrounded by people who love us. We don’t learn patience by being given what we want when we want it. We don’t learn to trust God when everything is going smoothly in our lives. It is through the difficult times in our lives that we build godly character and become more like Christ.

The truth is that when you live to serve others, it leads you into places where you are stretched beyond your natural ability.

If God plans to use your life in any significant way, you’ll need to endure the hazing of those you are serving! And you will be called to love them. This is precisely what Jesus promised Paul as He invited His newly converted persecutor to walk in the Word and serve his Creator. Jesus promises that Paul will suffer much for following Him.

You’ll be called to dip bread in the wine of your sacrifice and hand it across the table to your Judas. But joy will fill your heart when you start serving others and love them with the love of Christ. Not only will the Lord give you the ability and the power to love others; He will change how you see people – He will give you fresh eyes and His thoughts so that even your enemies become people you deeply care for and love.”

I truly don’t understand how we got where we are today as a society. How come I can only be nice to people who think, act, and believe what I do? How come I can’t have friends of different spirituality, ideology, and political affiliations? And heck, I am not even talking about being friends…how come I can’t give everyone the dignity and respect, the love, they deserve simply because they are another precious soul doing the best they can in this fallen world? The truth is I can and to do less is a choice I make. No, they – whoever they are – can’t make me do anything and while my feelings and pride can get hurt, I can still choose to love them. And, with God’s help, I am determined to do just that, and I hope and pray you will join me on this journey. It is what we are called to do if we are Christians. I need no better model of loving the unlovable, of loving those who persecute me, than the life Jesus lived.

As you contemplate accepting this challenge, a decision we will have to make over and over again every day of our lives, I want to share a few thought provoking quotes.

“Real love is when you are completely committed to someone even when they are being completely unlovable.” – Dave Willis

“It is not the most lovable individuals who stand more in need of love, but the most unlovable.” – Ashley Montagu

“Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.” – Erma Bombeck

“If you don’t think God’s love for the unlovable is amazing, go try to love someone who hates you for a day. See if that helps.” – Unknown

“If love means anything at all it means extending your hand to the unlovable.” – Quentin Crisp

Two thoughts were running through my mind as I was typing these quotes:

1. What part of the Bible do we believe? The part we actually live out!
2. Everyone wants to be a lion until they gotta do lion sh@t! Everyone wants to profess to be a Bible believing Christian until they actually have to do what the Bible has called them to do!

Challenge thrown down…your choice as to what you do with it!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev

The Perfect Marriage

 Happy Friday, Friends!!!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! Additionally, I sincerely hope you have had a great week – personally & professionally! 😊

As I stated in last weeks “Happy Friday,” last Friday, March 4^th, was my Beautiful Bride, Kathy, and I’s 33^rd wedding anniversary. In a post that she put on Facebook she shared a quote that touched my heart deeply…it is perfect for us! It said:

“A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.” – Unknown

That is us! It is hard! It is messy! It is ugly sometimes! Did I mention it is hard?! 😊 And yet it is the most rewarding, exhilarating, beautiful thing I have ever been a part of in my life. I have given her 100 reasons to give up on me and she has given me 100 reasons to give up on her and yet, here we are…two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other! 😊

A couple of things that I want to share:

1. I remember the day I made the decision that I would not quit. I had heard the late Bill Stewart speak at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) breakfast and he told the story about Dog Soldiers. According to Coach Stewart, Dog Soldiers were Native American warriors who, when going into battle, would have a rope tied around their ankle and on the other end was stake. Before the battle would begin, they would drive the stake into the ground. They might die fighting on their hill however they would not run. I remember vividly driving home, Kathy and I in another fight, thinking about what Coach Stewart said, determining in my spirit, heart, and mind that I was going to be a Dog Soldier for my marriage. I was going to drive my stake into the ground, and I would fight for our marriage, regardless of what I faced. Easy? Hardly!!!! But at that moment I had made a decision and it changed everything for us. I have told her, “I don’t even care if you don’t like me, I won’t quit! I will not give up on us.”
2. I need to speak to the men here for a minute… The young, immature Kev, not knowing how to communicate effectively or how to express what I felt would say something like, “Maybe this just wasn’t meant to be” or something else ridiculous during an argument. Not proud of it, simply confessing it. More than once I threatened divorce, hoping to get a response. Never did it accomplish anything meaningful and what I learned later in listening to a lot of speakers and reading a lot of books, it tore at what matters most to women – safety and security. Big man, right? Hardly! Here was this precious soul I had promised to love and take care of until death do us part and, because I was mad or frustrated about something trivial, I ripped right at her heart. Somewhere along the time I learned of the Dog Soldier, after I committed to being a Dog Soldier, the “D” word left my vocabulary and I have not communicated that I want out of this marriage. It is unacceptable and there is no place for it. I get being mad, I get being frustrated, and I definitely get not knowing what to do. Having said all that, man up and let her know that no matter the storm you will fight for the marriage! Let her know you are here to stay! Let her know that she is safe, that she has nothing to fear! To do less is to fail in our highest earthly calling – to love, value, cherish, adore, lead, guide, and protect our Brides.

Whatever picture you have in your mind of the “perfect” marriage I want to encourage you to throw it out the window and replace it with the picture of you and your spouse. Yes, you are both imperfect. Yes, you both have faults and failures. Yes, there are going to be disagreements, arguments, and fights. No, it is absolutely not going to be easy. However, if you will refuse – Dog Soldier type of commitment here! – to give up on your spouse, if you will keep showing up every day, if you will keep fighting for your marriage, the picture of a perfect marriage is the one you will be living every day!

I want to share several quotes – 33 to be exact! – here for you to reflect on over this weekend. Better yet, perhaps you create some alone time with your spouse this weekend and you read through them together…that would be perfect! 😊

"What comes easy won't last long, and what lasts long won't come easy." – Francis Kong

"Love is not running or giving up, it's standing and fighting for every moment." – Unknown

“You can't just give up on someone because the situation's not ideal. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work.” - Unknown

"A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you don't go and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb." – Unknown

"You never fail until you stop trying." – Albert Einstein

“Growth is a process. You gain, you lose, you cry, you grow, you learn, you try, you fail, but you keep trying.” – Unknown

“If you want a relationship that looks and feels like the most amazing thing on earth, you need to treat it like it is the most amazing thing on earth.” – Unknown

"A strong relationship requires choosing to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other." – Unknown

“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.” – Dr.  Gary Chapman

“In marriage it is never about not falling, it is always about getting back up.” – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

“When tensions mount in marriage conflict, spouses don’t regret what they didn’t say. Hold your tongue, until God has a hold of your heart.” - Mathew L. Jacobson

“True love doesn’t happen by accident. It’s deliberate, it’s intentional, it’s purposeful and in the end its worth it. – Darlene Schacht

“Happily ever after in not a fairy tale, it’s a choice.” – Fawn Weaver

“Form the habit of finding the good in people, not their flaws.” – Joyce Meyer

“A happy marriage is a selfless journey in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” Yvonne and George Levy

“The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.” – Amy Grant

“No relationship is all sunshine, but once you’ve learned how to play in the rain, you’ve discovered the secret to surviving the passing storm together.” – Unknown

“True love isn’t found, it’s built. One day. One kiss. One conversation at a time.” – Maggie Reyes 

“Real love is when you are completely committed to someone even when they are being completely unlovable.” - Dave Willis

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Robert Quillen

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.” – Roy Croft

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.” – Swedish proverb

“I am convinced that if we as a society work diligently in every other area of life and neglect the family, it would be analogous to straightening deck chairs on the Titanic.” – Stephen Covey

“A good marriage is a contest of generosity.” – Diane Sawyer

“In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, the grounds for marriage.” – Robert Anderson

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through

every circumstance.” – I Corinthians 13:7

“Marriages are like fingerprints; each one is different and each one is beautiful.” – Maggie Reyes

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen

“A husband and wife may disagree on many things but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up.” – Unknown

“True love stands by each other’s side on good days and stands closer on bad days.” – Unknown

“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” – Barbara De Angelis

“Marriage stands the test of times when both you and your spouse work towards making things better. And we are tested the most when we face adversities. If you can sail through the adversities as one, as a team, then you have won half the battle.” – Unknown

“It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and you cannot remember how you ever lived without them.” – Unknown

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev

Were You Here?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

I must start this Happy Friday by wishing my Beautiful Bride, my greatest earthly calling and highest purpose, a Happy Anniversary! Today we celebrate 33 years! I am truly blessed beyond measure and honored to be her husband! I love, value, cherish, and adore you, Sweet Girl! 😊

Earlier this week I was listening to the radio and the announcer stated, “The most used graffiti phrase is, ‘[name] was here!’” She then went on to ask the question, “What do your actions do to prove you were here?” Got me thinkin’….

First, I couldn’t help but think I haven’t seen that phrase in a long time. When I was a kid it seemed like I saw it everywhere but today, hardly at all. And then it hit me, the “[name] was here!” has been replaced by the selfie posted on someone’s social media of choice. I digress… 😊

The point that the announcer was trying to make is that we all want to matter, we want to be known, to be recognized. But what if you couldn’t spray paint, write, or cut into a piece of wood, “[your name] was here”? Or what if you couldn’t take a picture of yourself – or your food, dog, etc.! – and post it on twitter, Facebook, and/or Instagram?! What if all you had to prove that you lived, and hopefully well, are the things you do every day? Got you thinkin’ now too, don’t I? 😊

This all reminded me of a quote I once heard about your dash…the dash between your birthdate and the date you die. I couldn’t find the quote I was looking for however I did find The Dash poem by Linda Ellis. It captures it all beautifully…

The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak at a funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.

To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?

I would now like to share some quotes…😊

“If your life were a sermon, what would it say?” – Margie Warrell

“Your life is your message to the world. Make sure it’s inspiring.” – Anonymous

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” – Jake Goodall

“Act as if what you do makes a difference, it does.” – William James

“Never underestimate the valuable and important difference you make in every life you touch for the impact you make today has a powerful rippling effect on every tomorrow.” – Leon Brown

“If your presence doesn’t make an impact, your absence won’t make a difference.” – Trey Smith

“Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary, use words.” – Unknown

Well Friends, I have tried my best to beat you into submission with this one! 😊 You matter and your life matters! The things you do matter! What we all must determine is how we are going to live our dash. Will it have made a difference in anyone’s life besides our own? Was it used for good or bad? Did we make others' lives better or worse? Did we live intentionally every day? Did we do the best we could do to become the best we were capable of becoming? Did we use our time, talent, and treasures to love, care for, and serve others, or only ourselves? We all choose…one way or the other! There is not a between. And how we answer these questions – not with our words but by our actions! – will be our mark on this world. Will it fade over time as all paint and selfies do or will it endure for generations in the hearts of those whose lives we have impacted for good? Will anyone know, or care, that we were here?

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev