Happy Friday, Friends!!!
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! Additionally, I sincerely hope you have had a great week – personally & professionally! 😊
As I stated in last weeks “Happy Friday,” last Friday, March 4th, was my Beautiful Bride, Kathy, and I’s 33rd wedding anniversary. In a post that she put on Facebook she shared a quote that touched my heart deeply…it is perfect for us! It said:
“A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.” – Unknown
That is us! It is hard! It is messy! It is ugly sometimes! Did I mention it is hard?! 😊 And yet it is the most rewarding, exhilarating, beautiful thing I have ever been a part of in my life. I have given her 100 reasons to give up on me and she has given me 100 reasons to give up on her and yet, here we are…two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other! 😊
A couple of things that I want to share:
- I remember the day I made the decision that I would not quit. I had heard the late Bill Stewart speak at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) breakfast and he told the story about Dog Soldiers. According to Coach Stewart, Dog Soldiers were Native American warriors who, when going into battle, would have a rope tied around their ankle and on the other end was stake. Before the battle would begin, they would drive the stake into the ground. They might die fighting on their hill however they would not run. I remember vividly driving home, Kathy and I in another fight, thinking about what Coach Stewart said, determining in my spirit, heart, and mind that I was going to be a Dog Soldier for my marriage. I was going to drive my stake into the ground, and I would fight for our marriage, regardless of what I faced. Easy? Hardly!!!! But at that moment I had made a decision and it changed everything for us. I have told her, “I don’t even care if you don’t like me, I won’t quit! I will not give up on us.”
- I need to speak to the men here for a minute… The young, immature Kev, not knowing how to communicate effectively or how to express what I felt would say something like, “Maybe this just wasn’t meant to be” or something else ridiculous during an argument. Not proud of it, simply confessing it. More than once I threatened divorce, hoping to get a response. Never did it accomplish anything meaningful and what I learned later in listening to a lot of speakers and reading a lot of books, it tore at what matters most to women – safety and security. Big man, right? Hardly! Here was this precious soul I had promised to love and take care of until death do us part and, because I was mad or frustrated about something trivial, I ripped right at her heart. Somewhere along the time I learned of the Dog Soldier, after I committed to being a Dog Soldier, the “D” word left my vocabulary and I have not communicated that I want out of this marriage. It is unacceptable and there is no place for it. I get being mad, I get being frustrated, and I definitely get not knowing what to do. Having said all that, man up and let her know that no matter the storm you will fight for the marriage! Let her know you are here to stay! Let her know that she is safe, that she has nothing to fear! To do less is to fail in our highest earthly calling – to love, value, cherish, adore, lead, guide, and protect our Brides.
Whatever picture you have in your mind of the “perfect” marriage I want to encourage you to throw it out the window and replace it with the picture of you and your spouse. Yes, you are both imperfect. Yes, you both have faults and failures. Yes, there are going to be disagreements, arguments, and fights. No, it is absolutely not going to be easy. However, if you will refuse – Dog Soldier type of commitment here! – to give up on your spouse, if you will keep showing up every day, if you will keep fighting for your marriage, the picture of a perfect marriage is the one you will be living every day!
I want to share several quotes – 33 to be exact! – here for you to reflect on over this weekend. Better yet, perhaps you create some alone time with your spouse this weekend and you read through them together…that would be perfect! 😊
"What comes easy won't last long, and what lasts long won't come easy." – Francis Kong
"Love is not running or giving up, it's standing and fighting for every moment." – Unknown
“You can't just give up on someone because the situation's not ideal. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work.” - Unknown
"A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you don't go and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb." – Unknown
"You never fail until you stop trying." – Albert Einstein
“Growth is a process. You gain, you lose, you cry, you grow, you learn, you try, you fail, but you keep trying.” – Unknown
“If you want a relationship that looks and feels like the most amazing thing on earth, you need to treat it like it is the most amazing thing on earth.” – Unknown
"A strong relationship requires choosing to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other." – Unknown
“Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is
a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against
the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.” – Dr. Gary Chapman
“In marriage it is never about not falling, it is always about getting back up.” – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
“When tensions mount in marriage conflict, spouses don’t regret what they didn’t say. Hold your tongue, until God has a hold of your heart.” - Mathew L. Jacobson
“True love doesn’t happen by accident. It’s deliberate, it’s intentional, it’s purposeful and in the end its worth it. – Darlene Schacht
“Happily ever after in not a fairy tale, it’s a choice.” – Fawn Weaver
“Form the habit of finding the good in people, not their flaws.” – Joyce Meyer
“A happy marriage is a selfless journey in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” Yvonne and George Levy
“The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.” – Amy Grant
“No relationship is all sunshine, but once you’ve learned how to play in the rain, you’ve discovered the secret to surviving the passing storm together.” – Unknown
“True love isn’t found, it’s built. One day. One kiss. One conversation at a time.” – Maggie Reyes
“Real love is when you are completely committed to someone even when they are being completely unlovable.” - Dave Willis
“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Robert Quillen
“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.” – Roy Croft
“Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.” – Swedish proverb
“I am convinced that if we as a society work diligently in every other area of life and neglect the family, it would be analogous to straightening deck chairs on the Titanic.” – Stephen Covey
“A good marriage is a contest of generosity.” – Diane Sawyer
“In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, the grounds for marriage.” – Robert Anderson
“Love never gives up, never loses
faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.” – I Corinthians 13:7
“Marriages are like fingerprints; each one is different and each one is beautiful.” – Maggie Reyes
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen
“A husband and wife may disagree on many things but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up.” – Unknown
“True love stands by each other’s side on good days and stands closer on bad days.” – Unknown
“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” – Barbara De Angelis
“Marriage stands the test of times when both you and your spouse work towards making things better. And we are tested the most when we face adversities. If you can sail through the adversities as one, as a team, then you have won half the battle.” – Unknown
“It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and you cannot remember how you ever lived without them.” – Unknown
Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊
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