Wanna Change the World?

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day – full of mercy, hope, opportunity, and promise! – prepares to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

Early this week I knew exactly what this Happy Friday was going to be. That, however, all changed on Tuesday, or Tuesday evening to be specific. That is when I learned of the horrific shooting in Uvalde, TX. My heart hurt. As I went to bed that night my heart ached for the parents who lost a precious little soul that day…and I cried out to God. It is not supposed to be this way! Parents are supposed to be able to take their kids to school and have a certainty that they are going to be safe! And I am mindful of the two teachers, angels on earth pouring themselves selflessly into children, gaining their Heavenly wings leaving a gaping hole in their families. It is beyond tragic…my heart still hurts.

We are angry! We are heartbroken! We want it to stop – all of the shootings, hate, anger, insults, etc.! So, what do we do about it? I will leave the finger pointing, vitriol, and hate speech to the radicals and politicians. I am going to propose we do two things:

A quote often attributed to Mother Teresa says, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” I am going to propose that we start there. Let’s be fully present in our homes with our spouses/partners and children. Let’s genuinely love, value, and cherish them. Let’s encourage them to pursue all they were created to become and let’s teach them to love, care for, and serve others by loving, caring for, and serving them. Let’s teach them to be kind to everyone without expectation. Let’s show up every day – the good ones and the bad ones. Let’s let them know that failures and successes are events – they do not define them. Let’s wake them up super early one morning and let them see the beauty, the newness, the mercy, and the opportunity in the dawning of each new day and teach them to embrace each one. Let’s turn off our TV’s, cell phones, computers, and any other thing that robs us of quality time together and let’s go sit on our porches and talk to our neighbors or play catch…I doesn’t matter what it is, let’s just do it together.

Will this protect your family and make sure nothing happens to them? Sadly, it does not. Evil is real and there are bad people who do bad things. Genuinely loving our families will, however, do two things; 1) It will enrich our lives, and those of our loved ones, beyond description. None of us know how many minutes, hours, or days we have left…it will maximize each one and perhaps the greatest blessing of all – whenever that day comes, and it is coming for each one of us, those we love will undoubtedly feel sorrow however they will be filled with love, peace, and great lessons from a life well lived, not regret. 2) The love, caring, and service that this world so desperately needs will permeate from our families. Can we change the whole world? Well, if enough of us actually stepped up and loved our families we certainly could. Regardless, I can start on my street, in my workplace, with my friends and you can do the same. The impact will be far greater than yelling and screaming at another…it seems our country, our world, has been trying this for several years now and the impact has been pathetically futile.

The 2^nd thing I want to propose we all do is look in the mirror and not out the window. We so desperately want to blame others, anyone, other than ourselves. In doing this we give up our power to learn, grow, and change…we give up our ability to make a difference. What can I do to become a better man, husband, father, leader, friend? How about you? Again, there is not a single one of us that can change another…why do we spend so much time trying to do so?!?! It is literally the definition of insanity; “doing the same thing over and over, expecting to get a different result.” I will help any of you in a heartbeat…please let me know if I can do so. I can’t, nor do I want to, change a single person. While I am deeply flawed, just like any other person, I am smart enough to know that I have no clue as to your purpose, challenges, successes, failures, hopes, goals, dreams, etc. I have zero authority to tell you what you should be doing. Heck, I have a hard enough time keeping up with myself!!

Matthew 7: 3 – 5 says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” What if we actually lived that way? Instead of looking at the person next to us, trying to take the speck out of their eye, what if we focused solely on removing the plank in our own eye? The world would be a radically different place!

So that is it, the challenge I am throwing down for each of us this week. We are not helpless, and we can make a difference, one life, one family at a time.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, please stay well, and please say a prayer for Uvalde.

Kev

It's Your Journey

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! Now, in full transparency, I am actually writing this Happy Friday on Tuesday evening, May 17, 2022. I have an exceptionally busy Thursday – Saturday coming, and I know I won’t be able to get to it then. Just the same...there is a message on my heart!😊

There are two pieces of encouragement I want to share with you this morning…

What is your “why?” What is your purpose? What is it that makes your spirit soar? If you don’t know the answer to these questions, I want to strongly encourage you to spend some time praying and thinking about it. Here is one thing I know – your life has great meaning, value, and purpose. And please know, your purpose is not any of your titles – familial, vocational, or otherwise. Your purpose is greater than that! It is why you were placed on this earth, and it is going to be led by your why. For example, I believe that every person has great value, meaning, and purpose (my why) and with this, I believe I was placed on this earth to encourage, empower, and equip others to become the best they are capable of becoming (my purpose). I express my why and my purpose through my roles - as a man, husband, Dad, my vocational roles, as a friend, etc. – however they are not my purpose. Now, to be clear, I definitely have priorities, and I fight vigorously for them. They, however, are not my purpose. Perhaps that will be next weeks Happy Friday! 😊 

Perhaps you know your “why” and your “purpose” however the burdens of the day, the week, the month, etc. have made you focus on the latest crisis, situation, and circumstance and you have lost clarity of, or focus on, your purpose. Please remember, “we don’t get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it.” Rekindle that flame that burns within you! Remember! Wake up that passion that cries from the deepest recesses of your heart! Remember! The things that burden your heart and spirit are important and they were placed there for a reason. Your purpose is critically important and you’re uniquely, perfectly so, created to fulfill it! It is in pursuing this great cry, the cry of your heart, that your greatest energy, passion, and fulfillment will be found! Please, do not make it wait another day! Make THIS the day that you remember, that you recommit, and that you relentlessly pursue it!

One other thing; I was in a conversation with two great men today. They are from very different backgrounds, their educations and vocations differ greatly, and yet they genuinely value and appreciate one another. One of the men made such a great statement; our journey’s – all of our journey’s – are our own. Not better or worse than any others, just different. Please don’t expect my journey to be yours or vice versa. Please don’t try to walk my path and I won’t try to walk yours. And whatever you do, please don’t judge the journey of another. We are all given abilities and disabilities, opportunities and challenges, etc. Success and failure cannot be defined by society though, be sure, society will definitely try to define you, me, and everyone else! No, true success can, and will, only be found in becoming all that each one of us is capable of becoming. As you get ready to start this Friday you have many choices to make…we all do! We can be positive or negative. We can count our blessings or look at the things we think we lack. We can be intentional or we can leave everything to chance. Regardless, it is our road to walk and we can walk it any way we want! It is your life, your journey…please live it fully!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev

Please Be Kind to Yourself, and Others

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as this glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

On Tuesday I was listening to Focus on the Family while working out. The title of the talk was Saying the Right Thing When Your Child Misbehaves (Part 2 of 2) and the guests were Amber Lia and Wendy Speake. They are the authors of Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. You can find part 1 and part 2 of their talk here https://www.focusonthefamily.com/shows/broadcast/.

During the talk, Ms. Speake said something that, just the way she said it, struck me as profound. She said:

“…it dawned on me one day, you cannot have salvation without sin. You cannot have the gospel of Christ at work in our lives without sin. So, if you go through those verses that all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life and that we need to confess our sins. And He will be faithful and just forgive us. I mean, this is the gospel. We want salvation for our children, we just don’t want them to do anything that requires them being saved.”

Wow, right?! And she is right; if there was no sin, there would be no need for salvation. Go ahead, think about that one for a minute…

And then, after the announcer’s response was something like mine, she continued in part:

“You know? We don’t want them to mess up. We want them to avoid the pain of it, the embarrassment of it. We want them not to sin. And yet it’s only through sin that we receive forgiveness.”

Now I want to take a hard right turn….hold on!!! 😊

This was about parents and children and everything she said is right. I however want to tell you someone else this is right about as well…YOU…and me! No, we don’t want to mess up. Yes, we want to avoid the pain of it! And yes, we want to avoid the embarrassment of it! However, we can’t because, well, we are human.

Despite all of our efforts to be perfect, we aren’t. We all stumble and sometimes fall. Yes, we try like crazy to avoid it, hide it, and explain it away. But the reality is, we all fail. So, then what? Instead of making excuses or pointing at others, I want to encourage us to take a different path.

Lamentations 3:22 – 23 tells us:

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

I am not going to make this a theological study but rather simply say this; this is a new day and God’s mercies are new every morning. Acknowledge your sin, ask for God’s forgiveness, and then live the glorious new day that is before you. If you have repented, stop living the sin, fault, or failure of yesterday and live this day fully! If you have asked for forgiveness, it has been given and the Bible tells us that our sins have been removed from us “as far as the east is from the west.” Please, Sweet Friend, stop carrying a burden that God sent Jesus to die for so you wouldn’t have to carry it!

I want to close with two exhortations for all of us:

1. We are all flawed, broken, and make mistakes. Let’s be radically different and take a different road – the road of mercy, grace, and compassion. Instead of looking for, and pointing out, where others have stumbled or fallen, let’s be the uplifters and encouragers. Let’s look for the greatness and goodness in others and call them up to all they are capable of becoming. And when they fall, as we all do? Let’s lift them up, offer forgiveness, and encourage them on their journey. Let’s be what we want/wish others would be for us.
2. Regardless of what yesterday brought, live this day fully! It is a blank canvas – neither good nor bad, just blank. We each get to choose the attitude and effort that we will bring to this day. Let us accept the mercy that God intended for us, let’s seek Him, and then let’s empty ourselves pursuing all we were created to become and use all of who we are – our time, talent, and resources – to love, care for, and serve others.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev

What's The Story?

 Happy Friday, Friends!!!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! I am so excited to live this day…I hope you are too! I believe and declare this is going to be a great one, for I fully intend to make it so! 😊

Last weekend I watched a video that has forever changed me. I am taking a class to get a certification and as a part of it, we were required to watch a YouTube video of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. This brilliant woman and speaker titled her talk, “The danger of a single story.” I want to strongly encourage you to google “Adichie Ted Talk” and go watch this 19 minute 17 second video. It is so profound! This is what I want to share with you this morning…the danger of the single story.

To illustrate what she is talking about, Ms. Adichie told the story of a boy who worked for her family. Her Mom told her that this little boy’s family was poor…and nothing else. Ms. Adichie goes on to tell how she once went to the boys home and found that the boys brother had made a beautiful basket…and she was shocked. Because the single story she had been told about this boy and his family was that they were poor, she did not see in her mind that they could be poor AND hardworking.

Ms. Adichie points out that it is ALL our stories that have made us, not just the negative, or positive, ones. She offers that, “to focus only on negative stories is to flatten my experience, to overlook all the others that formed me.”

The consequences of a single story? Ms. Adichie stated, “the consequences of the single story is it robs people of their dignity. It makes recognition of our equal humanity difficult. It emphasizes how we are different, rather than how we are similar.”

One other excellent point Ms. Adichie made that I feel I must share before sharing a few thoughts/ideas of my own centers on stereotypes. We love to label people, don’t we? We love to try to put groups of people or places in these nice little boxes where we define them…these are stereotypes. Here is what Ms. Adichie said; “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story the only story.”

Are you, like me when I watched the video for the first time, feeling a little convicted and inspired? Convicted because I know I have been guilty of telling and listening to a single story…and living life based on it. Inspired because my spirit, heart, and mind have now been awakened to the danger of the single story, and I determined to never tell or listen to a single story the rest of my life. The gratitude I feel for Ms. Adichie at this moment is indescribable! Thank you!

None of us are a single story! We are all these beautiful, unique, perfectly created and equipped souls doing the very best we can. (Note, there is a period there!) We have all had successful moments and failing moments. We have all had good and bad things happen to us. We all have things we are proud of and things that we wished had never happened. There is great darkness and light in all our stories. Not one human being is a single story!

A few thoughts/reflections as I have now watched this video 4 or 5 times in the past week:

1. What single stories am I telling and, as a result, creating an incomplete picture in someone else’s mind of another person or place? Lord, please forgive me! I don’t want to be a single story teller! Ms. Adichie talked about power as “to tell a story about another person” and to “make it the definitive story of that person.” I don’t want that to be me, and I hope it is not you. Let’s make sure when we are talking about a person or place we are telling the complete story, all of the stories. Better yet, if we have platforms to do so, let’s let them tell their own stories!
2. What single stories am I listening to and, as a result, developing thoughts, ideas, and opinions about people and places that is so incomplete it’s shameful! No more! Please know, if you talk to me and want to tell me a story about a person or place you will be challenged. I want to know, as Paul Harvey used to say, “the rest of the story.”
3.  This one hit me profoundly as my small group at church and I were watching this video last Sunday night; what single story are you living about yourself? Yes, Sweet Friend, just as other people and places are not a single story, neither are you. And yet, so many people are still living the failing moment, the dark place, over and over again. Please let this sweet truth wash over you; you are not a single story! You are all of the stories that you have lived up until this moment right now. While I am sure there are failing, bad moments (we all have them), there are also successful, beautiful moments (we all have those too). Get out of the rut and live your life…all of it!

I am going to close with a few more words from Ms. Adichie:

“Stories matter.

Many stories matter.

Stories have been used to dispossess and malign, but stories can also be used to empower and humanize.

Stories can break the dignity of a people, but stories an also repair that broken dignity.”

What Will Your Influence Be…?

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can contact me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev