Big News!

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

O.K., I have big news! Y’all ready?! O.K., here it is…I am not perfect. Those of you who know me personally and are currently laughing hysterically, please stop. That is rude! 😊And while I know it is p-a-i-n-f-u-l-l-y obvious that I am not perfect, and thus the hearty laughs, there is one person that must be reminded regularly…me! Let me put some context around this one for you.

Last Saturday night my Beautiful Bride, one of my Tender Warriors, and I went out to dinner with a friend of ours. During the dinner I got a little bit upset about something and spoke in a way that was less than kind…should’ve been rereading my own Happy Friday from last week! Anyways, when I woke up on Sunday morning and was going through my quiet time, my Spirit was convicting me. In rapid succession, I knew exactly what I needed to do:

1.      Reach out to the friend and apologize for the way I spoke – no justifications or explanations, just simply “I am sorry.”

2.     I needed to talk to my Bride and Tender Warrior. I needed to apologize to them, again, no justification or explanations.

I did both of those and yet there was something nagging at me. You see, as I sit here and type this, I can still see the looks on my Bride and Warriors face as I spoke in an uncharacteristic manner…and my heart aches. I failed them. I came up short and the looks on their face, the looks of disappointment, well, it hurts.

And then there was this moment of clarity; yes, I failed, and I will certainly fail again. I was listening to a David Pollack podcast yesterday morning and he said something like, “The one thing that every single human being has in common is that we have all failed. The only questions, the only thing to be decided, is will we fail forward or backward.” This affirmed what my Spirit convicted me of last Sunday; yes, I failed…not very notable…every human fails. What is notable, and what I believe will determine the quality of the life I live, is what I do with that failing moment. Do I learn and grow? Do I try to justify? Am I seeking the Lord and allowing the Spirit to instruct and guide me?

So after apologizing to my Beautiful Bride and Tender Warrior I told them:

1.      I know I am not perfect and that is why I need the Lord to lead my life.

2.     That I had apologized to them and to our friend because my Spirit convicted me to do so.

3.     That I would continue to pursue the Lord every day so I can grow to become the man, husband, father, leader, and friend that I was created to become.

Here is where I am going with this whole thing; sometimes the greatest lessons we teach are not in our moments of perfection but rather in how we handle our failing moments. I absolutely wish that what had happened didn’t, but it did…that is life. It is hard and messy sometimes. And while I will hopefully grow and mature from that experience, the greater lesson I had the opportunity to teach – through the life I live – is how to handle those failing moments.

Please give up the idea of perfection and simply show up and be real every day. Do you really want your kids, spouse, and/or friends to feel they have to be “perfect?” You aren’t, they aren’t, and none of us ever will be! It seems the wiser way to live would be to seek the Lord and the Holy Spirits leading every day, to value and appreciate every day, to live it to the best of our abilities, and, when we fail or make a mistake, own it and apologize for it. This then puts us in the perfect position to learn and grow from it.

“Kids don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.” – Jim Henson 

“Your child will follow your example, not your advice.” – Unknown

One more thing to share… I don’t know what you all do every day to learn, to grow, to challenge yourself, to make sure your well is full of positive thoughts and ideas, etc. I want to encourage you to look into some of Jon Gordon’s stuff. You can find him on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. Earlier this week I received his newsletter and I wanted to share it with you this morning.

10 Encouraging Messages to Stay Positive

“Mondays are a great day to focus on what we get to do instead of what we have to do. Life is a gift, not an obligation.

Three things you control every day are your attitude, your effort and your actions. It doesn’t matter what others are doing or who you think is being unfair. Every day you can focus on being positive, working hard and making others around you better.

Success is often measured by comparison to others. Excellence, on the other hand, is all about being the best we can be and maximizing our gifts, talents and abilities to perform at our highest potential. Pursue excellence today.

Failure is not meant to define you. It’s meant to refine you to be all you are meant to be. Don’t let your failures be a part of your identity. Move forward and create your future.

Don’t let negativity win today. Remember it starts with you. If you are complaining you’re not leading. If you are leading you’re not complaining. One person can’t make a team but one person can break a team. Stay positive! No energy vampires allowed.

One person in pursuit of excellence raises the standards of everyone around them. And as they strive for greatness they bring out the greatness in others. Be that one person today.

If they praise you, show up and do the work. If they criticize you, show up and do the work. If no one even notices you, just show up and do the work. Just keep showing up, doing the work, and leading the way.

Where there is a void, negativity will fill it. Fill the void with positive, proactive communication and you’ll help neutralize the negativity before it starts. This applies at home, at work and every relationship in your life.

Expect to win today. Champions expect success and their positive beliefs often lead to positive actions and outcomes. They win in their mind first.

Remember your WHY! We don’t get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it.”

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your families, and please stay well!

Kev