Change Your Attitude!

Happy Friday, Friends! 

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new opportunity prepares to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This gift will be a great one if only we will choose to seize it!

This morning I want to share a couple of thoughts/ideas that I found profound and then a couple of things for us to thoughtfully consider.

A few weeks ago, I was reading a book – I apologize, I no longer remember which book I was reading or who the author is…the challenge of reading several books at the same time!!! – and the author said something like, “The next time someone does something that offends you, instead of saying, ‘what is wrong with that person?’, say, ‘I wonder what happened to that person?’ Go ahead, say it to yourself; “I wonder what happened to that person?” If you are like me, your heart feels more compassionate, and it hits your Spirit a little differently. Are people’s attitudes poor? Do they speak rudely? Do they do inappropriate things? Yes, yes, and yes! So, what happened to them that they have a poor attitude, that they speak hurtful, hateful words, that they feel it is o.k. to do inappropriate things? I wonder what happened to that person.

Over the Christmas break I found a book that is like a leadership gold mine. It is The Complete 101 Collection: What Every Leader Needs to Know by John C. Maxwell. This book is intimidating!!! It is 611 pages long and it has no pictures! 😊 It is broken down into different sections and it addresses attitude, self-improvement, leadership, relationships, success, teamwork, equipping, and mentoring. I have a feeling y’all are going to be hearing a lot about this book!

Last weekend I was reading chapter 2 which was titled, How Does Attitude Impact An Individual? The chapter opens with this:

“What is attitude? How do you put your finger on it? Well, attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior.”

Attitude is an inward feeling expressed by behavior. What a person is feeling inside is expressed through their words and behaviors. As a dad my spirit convicts me. How many times as my Tender Warriors were growing up did I say, “Change your attitude!” or, if I was really serious, “Change your attitude or I will change it for you!” Ever heard that one? What would have been the more appropriate response? I would offer something like, “Hey Buddy, what is going on? What’s wrong?” Accepting this definition of attitude, I now understand why in the history of the world telling someone with a bad attitude to change it has worked exactly zero times. It is like yelling at an apple tree to produce oranges…not gonna happen! If we don’t take care of the root – the feeling and what is causing it – we stand zero chance of having a different fruit. A couple of scriptures are stirring in my heart right now and I feel I must quickly share them.

Proverbs 4:23

23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Luke 6:43-45

43 “For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44 For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. 45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil [a]treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

Right now, I am reminded that knowledge without application is simply knowledge. Knowledge with application is wisdom. My hope for all of us is that we have now seen attitudes and our approach to others in a way that we will not be able to unsee it. That, perhaps, for the first time our hearts, eyes, and ears have been opened in a way they have never before been opened. Let’s apply what we now know!

I want to challenge all of us, the next time someone says or does something that hurts, upsets, offends, etc. us, instead of angrily thinking or saying, “What is wrong with that person?” lets say, “I wonder what happened to that person?” Pure heartedly, with great empathy, lets set aside our offense and understand that their words/behaviors are not a reflection of us but of them. What we are seeing is really the outward expression of what is going on in their heart. We can choose to see this person in a different light. No, this action alone will not change how they speak or behave, however it will change our hearts and the way we speak and behave.

Attitudes – ours and others.

Ours

What are the things we are pouring into our Spirits, hearts, and minds? Are the things we are reading and listening to true, positive, and encouraging? Are they leading to feelings of adequacy or inadequacy? Are they leading to feelings of scarcity or abundance? Are they leading to feelings of faith or fear? We know that the things we read and listen to impact the way we feel which will then impact the way we think, speak, and act. Will we simply know this to be true or will we choose to live wisely? Wisdom would be for each one of us to be master gardeners of our Spirits, hearts, and minds. If our attitudes are bad, we would be wise to look at what we are feeding our Spirits, hearts, and minds.

Others

My perspective of a bad attitude is forever changed by this definition. My heart genuinely aches for the person with a bad attitude. The hurt, pain, anger, or whatever it is that is leading to the behavior they are exhibiting must be profound. I would never wish a person to live this way.

For those I know and have the privilege of being able to speak into their life, I will have a heart of great empathy. I will let them know that they are not alone, that I genuinely care about them, and that I will then help them any way I can. I will not force the issue however I will always let them know that I care, and I am available.

For those I don’t know, with genuine compassion, I will silently ask, ‘I wonder what happened to that person?’ I don’t need to give a dirty look, have a sharp tongue, or do anything to “put them in their place.” They are already struggling, why would I want to throw more gas on the fire? I can’t change them however I can change how I respond to them, and this will change everything.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, and please stay well!

Kev