A Dads Heart

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama!

 

We were all greatly saddened to learn of the tragic crash that occurred Wednesday night between American Airlines Flight 5342 and a Black Hawk helicopter. Rick Karle said it perfectly when he said, “But every one of those 67 people on those aircrafts were VIP’s to their families, and they were just as important as any politician or VIP in Washington, DC.” Please keep their families, their friends, and all the first responders in your prayers as we all deal with this gut-wrenching tragedy.

 

I had actually written a different message that I was going to share this morning. As a dear friend and exceptional professional has taught me, it is an “ever green.” It is not a time sensitive message and can be shared any time. The message I am going to share this morning is time sensitive.

 

As I type this message, my youngest Tender Warrior, Landry, is in a hotel out of town, going through the process to become a member of the United States military. This morning, I am going to share some thoughts, perspectives, and reflections…I think, perhaps, someone can glean something useful from them.

 

1.      From about the time Landry was 3-years old he would tell anyone who would listen that he was going to be a Navy SEAL someday. It was the darndest thing; there was nobody in our family who was in the military, yet he was certain that he was going to serve and that he was going to be in the Special Forces. He would repeat this over and over again for most of his life. Ironically, he had only stopped saying it in the last few years. When Landry was 8 or 9-years old I was telling a gentleman about him and his belief that he was going to be a Navy SEAL someday. The gentleman said, “He is young, you still have a lot of time to talk him out of it.” Without hesitation I stated, “I don’t want to talk him out of it. I want him to be who God created him to be.” For me, it is an indescribable honor and privilege to be a dad. Thanks to God, the Bible, Bible Study, and prayer, I have had a very strong conviction that there is a purpose for each of my kids lives, just as there is for yours and mine. With this, I don’t think I have all the answers, that they should do what I want them to do, or that I should talk them into or out of anything. Thoughtful guidance, things to think about, etc. Absolutely! To tell them what they should do vocationally or what they have to be? Absolutely not!

2.     When my Beautiful Bride, Kathy, and I were speaking with Landry about college, what he wanted to do, etc., he stated that he felt like he had to go to college because, as a dependent of someone who works at the college, it is free. I told him that this was the wrong reason to be going to college and further, college is not for everyone and that is o.k. Again, different people, different paths. And no matter what path he should choose, his mom and I would walk every step of that path with him – loving him, supporting him, and helping him any way we can so long as we are alive.

3.     With my oldest Tender Warrior, Payton, and now Landry both joining the military, people always say, “You must be so proud.” It is kind of awkward for me. You see, I completely understand the sentiment and yes, I think it is absolutely amazing that these two have chosen to serve our country. But the thing is, I could not love them more or be prouder of them, or my middle Tender Warrior, Gehrig, than I already am! They don’t have to be, well, anything to make me proud. I am genuinely amazed by each one of them and excited for whatever beautiful journey I get to walk with them. My love and pride has nothing to do with what they do or accomplish, and everything to do with the kind, gracious, beautiful hearts that beat within the chest of each one of them. They genuinely care about others, they have hearts to serve, and they are willing to do anything to help anyone. I truly believe – with these attributes – they will find peace, joy, and contentment in whatever they do. To be sure, I am a very proud Dad of all 3 of my boys.

4.     After stating how proud I must be, most will follow up quickly with something like, “How is Mom?” or “How is Kathy?” First, I will tell you all she is doing amazing! Yes, she feels all the feelings and has all the emotions, however, to honor God and her, and the truly transformational work they are doing together, I must tell you she is doing great…it is amazing to witness. The other part of this that I want to make really clear is that this is every bit as challenging for Dad as it is for Mom. Perhaps you would think, or expect me to say, that I am great, this is easy, blah, blah, blah. There are these two competing feelings/emotions; I am absolutely going to miss them, and I am so excited about the new adventures we will have together during this new season of their lives. I am going to miss their presence day to day, the talks, hanging out, just being. You know that line in “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas” that says, “And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again”? Kathy and I have often talked about that; we never felt that. We are a close family, we enjoy being together, and I would always choose to be with them if given the choice between that and anything else. So, if you gave me another day, week, month, or year, I guarantee you, I would want another. So please know, it is every bit as hard for Dad as it is for Mom.

5.     As I tell Kath, the worries, cares, and fears that we have are real and should be expected. As I explained to her, for 18 years of their lives our focus was on leading, guiding, and protecting them. Now, we have two that are volunteering to put themselves in harm’s way. Not easy. As I have talked to God, he has reminded me of a few things that give me peace and comfort:

·       They are not my kids anyway, they are His. He simply has given Kathy the honor and privilege of stewarding them. I heard it said once, “Your kids belong to God and He is going to need them back some day.” Wisdom would be to enjoy each day, cherish every moment, for some day God will need them back.

·       Here is a declaration we learned at church a few months ago:

“I am not anxious or worried because I have a Heavenly Father that cares for me and will meet my needs.” (Matthew 6:25-34; Philippians 4:6-7; John 14:27; Psalm 23:1) Man, I am telling you, as I speak this declaration every morning my Spirit soars! My Heavenly Father cares for me…and you too!!! And He will meet my needs – whatever the season, trial, or challenge, He has, and will, meet my needs. I look back over the course of my life and I can testify to the truth of this declaration. Thank you, Jesus!

·       Philippians 4:6-7 means so much to me; “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Again, I can testify to the truth of this scripture. Over and over again, day after day, as I pray, I cast all my cares on Him, reminding Him of the promise of peace, and He has yet to fail in delivering it to me.

 

So, here we are! My boy is pursuing a dream that he has cherished in his heart since he was 3-years old. I am genuinely happy for him, looking forward to this new journey we get to take together…clinging to Jesus’ hand the whole way!

 

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious family, and please stay well!

 

Kev