Change & Priorities

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning! It is cool and rainy on the Gulf Coast as this amazing new opportunity, uh day, dawns!

This morning I want to share some excerpts and a thought with you.

The following excerpts come from an article titled Change Can Be Tough So Be Tougher by Dr. Richard Norris. You can read the entire article at leadingmenonly.com.

Whatever the change, there is always an opportunity to grow one way or another.

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.

If you're alive, you will have faced change. The question is how you face it?

Few face it and embrace it. It's these few who most often are the ones who lead and succeed.

Like running into the wind, resisting change is harder.

The truth is that it's better for you to see change as your friend not your enemy. A friend wants to help you. An enemy wants to defeat you.

In the face of change, we must always respond for the best.

Whatever your own situation, you are the solution. Don't look somewhere else. Your best help starts with you. You must take ownership.

Change can be tough but it's the doorway to your greater self.

Change pushes us beyond our comfort zone. Our comfort zone nurtures our existing habits. Such habits come naturally. Such habits, however, keep us where we are at. They won't lead us to where we can ultimately be. Unless we have the mental toughness to boldly go where we haven't gone before, we'll recoil quickly back to our old ways and habits. Change requires new habits. New habits bring growth. New habits take time and effort. For new habits to replace old ones we must overcome our internal resistance. That demands focus on what is possible. It requires commitment to make it happen. It requires belief that you can.

Our ability to endure and thrive through and as a result of change relies on us being mentally tough, physically durable, emotionally resilient and spiritually strong. Our toughness needs to be holistic. In most instances, when I've not succeeded at something, it's because I lacked the mental toughness to see it through. My commitment was not 100%.

The mind is a battlefield. It's a battle that wages afresh every day. Your ally is you. Your enemy is you. Both are your inner voice. One is rooting and working for you. The other is condemning and working against you. Whichever you listen to most will win the day. Your prevailing voice will determine how change will affect you. Be mindful each day which side you are on.

Human will and determination can turn the impossible into the incredible.

One way to ensure that you come through change stronger is through managing the associated stress - be it big or small. How you manage your stress is up to you.

No matter what direction change comes from, realize that you are ultimately in control of its effect.

Maintain the right attitude and you build resilience in the face of adversity and change.

For you to deal with change, you must first deal with yourself. When you change who you are it's easier to change what you do.

Wow! There was so much great stuff presented by Dr. Norris. Going back to last week, what will we do with this information Friends?

I also wanted to speak briefly about priorities...or maybe it's values...or integrity. Oh boy, its going to be one of those days!Ultimately, here is what is moving my spirit this morning; it is really easy to say what your priorities are, what you value, however do the things you say and do on a consistent basis show that these are your priorities, your values? Are you walking in complete integrity?

A few things:
1. It is absolutely critical that we determine on the front end what our priorities are, what we value. If we wait until the "moment of truth," we can hope & pray that we will respond in accordance what we profess to be our priorities & values, however we stand very little chance of walking this out if they are not our true priorities & beliefs.

2. The true test of what our priorities & values are is how we respond in times of adversity. In complete calm it is easy to say we value something, that it is a priority however it is when the difficult decisions have to be made that we truly find out if this is true.

3. The test is coming. It is not a matter of "if", it is a matter of "when". If you don't determine your priorities & values, if you don't walk these out in small matters, you stand very little chance of passing the "big test."

4. Nobody can determine your priorities & values but you. And, nobody can say what the appropriate priorities & values are for another. I think this is where a lot of the problems truly stem from. We want to say the "right thing." We want to please our spouse, friends, boss, etc. so we say something is a priority or that we value something however if we truly don't, our actions will ultimately betray our words.

5. It is impossible to consistently act in a manner inconsistent with our true priorities & values. If our actions do not match our words we do not have integrity.

What Will Your Influence Be...?

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families.

Kev 

Will We Learn?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day as the beautiful, fresh, new day dawns! I can't say bright as the sun has yet to shine this month on the Gulf Coast!!!

Wow! It has been 4 weeks since my last Happy Friday. The last month has been a complete blur...and pretty exhausting.

• On December 23rd I worked half a day, picked up the family, hopped in the car and drove 16 straight hours to Arizona. We arrived at 4:00 a.m. on Christmas Eve morning. The drive was awesome. The Haslam 5 talked, laughed, fought...we were a family. I cherish those times.
• The next week was a blur of family, friends & football. There were so many great conversations, it was great to see family & friends we hadn't seen in months...a truly blessed time.
• New Years Eve was a blast. My Beautiful Bride was asleep by 9:00 p.m., Payton was with his precious girlfriend and their friends, Gehrig was with his buddies...this left me and Landry to ring in the new year. I had no idea what was in store for me. Yes Friends, that was Landry & I running up and down the street at midnight with sparklers in hand. Yes, that was also us running to the park, to the next street over, to the end of the street...you get the idea, to get a better view of the fireworks we could hear but could not quite see good enough.
• New Years Day was filled with football & naps...I love those naps! (yes, multiple!) :)
• January 2nd I was awakened a little before 6:00 a.m. by my cell phone ringing. I had left it in the living room and I could hear it from the room where my Bride and I were sleeping. I jumped up and ran to the phone. I got there in time to see it was my Mom calling however I did not answer it in time. I picked up my phone and headed back to the room. Just as I got to the room Kath's phone started ringing. It was my Mom...somethings wrong. Kath answered the phone and we learned that my Mom's husband Dennis had passed away late at night on New Years Day. A wave of emotions...
• The initial plan was for me to go out to the house we own in Arizona, do the yard work I had to get done, come back to get Kathy & the boys and head to Mom's. As Payton and I drove out to do the yard work we learned that a bad winter storm was moving into New Mexico where my Mom lives. The plan was changed to us driving back to Texas the next day and then going to see Mom.
• Another 16+ hour straight drive. We got back home a little after 2:00 a.m. I got some sleep on Sunday and then flew to New Mexico to be with my Mom last Monday.
• My Mom & I had a truly remarkable time last week. I was able to get some things done for her around the house and we talked & talked & talked. I cherish those talks.
• Last Saturday I had the honor & privilege of officiating the memorial service for Dennis Davis. It was a truly special day. After much prayer I knew that the message that would be delivered was God's message.
• A couple hours after the service Kath, the boys & I hopped back in the car - they had driven to New Mexico on Thursday - and began the drive back home. We drove about 5 hours Saturday and then drove the remaining 7 hours on Sunday. We got home in time for Payton to see the 4th quarter of his beloved Packers win - the rules say it wasn't a catch by the way!
• It was back to work Monday and now, here I am! :)

I am sorry, I did not intend for all that to be so long but as I said, it has been a busy last few weeks!

Here is the thing I really want to talk about this morning.

• Did you know that your life has meaning, a purpose for which you have been perfectly equipped to complete? Hebrews 12:1 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,"
• Race = Purpose
• Marked out for us = Indicating that it is all set up. The purpose is clear and you are equipped. God would not ask you to do something that you cannot do with Him...the key is with Him.
• The very next verse begins, "fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith."
• On January 1, 2015 Dennis Davis completed his race. As God revealed to us at his service, there are three great lessons to be gleaned from his life:
• We are all different. The key is, what do we do with those differences? Do we love people and embrace them for who they are? Or do we use differences as an excuse to ignore them and to treat them poorly? Romans 12:10, "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
• Dennis truly epitomized "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." How did he do it? Philippians 4: 6 - 7 tells us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
• Dennis was a master craftsman...dude could straight build anything! He used this gift to serve others, to help others as they run their races. 1 Peter 4: 10 tells us, " Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms."
• On January 4, 2015, Stuart Scott, a beloved sportscaster and anchor on ESPN, completed his race. In July Stuart was honored at the ESPY awards. He said in part,
• "When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and the manner in which you live."
• I completely understand and get Stuarts point however I think his incredible, God-inspired words of wisdom could, should, be stated more broadly.
• In honor of Stuart I would say this, "When you die, it doesn't mean you lose. You win by how you live, why you live and the manner in which you live."

Here is the thing that keeps bouncing around in my mind; what do we do with the lessons gleaned from the races others run? Each man, like each of us, fought incredible battles in their life. Each man sought God and got to a point where, though the physical body was broken, crossed the finish line in full stride. Do we say, "oh that was nice" and just go on. If Dennis Davis could find complete peace & contentment though at times in his life he had nothing to eat should we perhaps not learn from him? If Stuart Scott can have his body ravaged by cancer and yet in peaceful eloquence tell us how to live, wouldn't we be wise to listen? Most Happy Friday's I speak about our influence on others lives. This week I propose we thoughtfully consider the influence we allow others to have in & on our lives.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Be There...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having had a great day and an awesome week on this beautiful Friday evening! It was a beautiful, cool, rainy day on the Gulf!

There are two things on my heart this evening that I want to share with you.

1. On Wednesday morning one of the quotes I posted on Facebook was, "When you are available, opportunities to be of service to others present themselves" by Jon Gordon. I truly had no idea how God was preparing my heart.

I had a short meeting right at 8:15 a.m. As soon as I got to my office one of my colleagues said, "Kevin, can I ask a favor of you?" I immediately said, "yes, anything." She explained that one of our co-workers brothers had been in a very serious car accident, he had been airlifted to the hospital and she wanted me to please pray for the family. I said I would and went into my office and prayed. I then asked if she knew what hospital he had been airlifted to as we have a hospital where I work. She stated she didn't know what hospital he was sent to, that she would text our co-worker and find out and let me know. It took me about a minute and I decided I didn't care; I was going to go over to the Emergency Room regardless and, if I was wrong, the worst that had happened was I had a walk. Just as I was walking out the door my colleague confirmed that our co-worker was at our hospital waiting in the Emergency Room for her brother.

When I got to the Emergency Room our co-worker wasn't there as they had moved her to a private, family consultation room. I spoke to the receptionist, told her who I was, explained that my co-worker was in the private consultation room and I asked if she could please take me to go see her, explaining that I didn't want her to be alone. As long as I live I don't think I will ever forget the look on her face the moment I opened that door and walked in. There was this look of...peace, relief. She wasn't alone anymore. There is nothing special about me - I have worked here, we have known each other, less than 6 months. The point was someone cared, someone was there. I was just privileged, in this case, to be that someone. I gave her a big hug and we sat down and talked and talked and talked. We talked about family, we talked about life, we talked about her brother, we talked about his accident. We laughed. We spoke somberly. She very intentionally told me she didn't want to cry - I assured her it was o.k. to cry - because she said she wouldn't be able to stop. We spent nearly 2 hours together before I went back to my office.

Being there for someone doesn't have to be about some great big grand event. We so often associate these things with traumatic incidents however just as the pebble in the shoe causes greater problems on the journey than the bolder in the path, I would offer that it is the daily struggles, the daily grind, that wears on the heart, soul & spirit and impacts the life journey. You never know the impact of a simple smile, a kind word, the smallest act might have on the life of another. I promise you that each one of us every single day pass people who are hurting, suffering, struggling with something. You and I are aren't we? Why do we think they are any different? We get so caught up in our stuff that we forget that everyone has stuff. If we will just lift our eyes a little, if we will just notice the person there, say hi, offer a helping hand, open a door, it really doesn't matter, just be there. I promise you, you will be pouring powerful, life giving encouragement into the heart, soul & spirit of another. We may never know the impact of that small gesture, however I can assure you it has the potential to reverberate through eternity. Why don't we just do our part, be there, and let God do His?

2. This next part is for all the parents, especially Dads, out there. I talk to many of you about the honor, the responsibility, the challenges & the struggles of being a Dad. This was a good one...sure you will enjoy it and, consider yourselves warned!! (I hope it sounds as cryptic as intended) :)

It was time for Payton to come home for Christmas. It is 1,367.08 miles (yes, exactly!!!) from Spearfish, SD to League City, TX. The plan was I would fly up to Rapid City, Payton would pick me up at the airport and then he and I would take 2 days to drive home. That WAS the plan. Then Payton called me and said, "Dad, I have been thinking about it and there is no reason for you to fly up here. I can do this by myself." Gulp! Gulp!! Gulp!!! He was respectfully asking for permission...and I had no clue what to say in the moment. I told him I would think about it and get back to him. Holy Smokes!!!

I spoke to my Beautiful Bride about it and I prayed about it...a lot!! As much as I wanted to be able to say no, there was a peace in my spirit about him doing this by himself. Also, I always tell him I believe in him, now he was giving me an opportunity to prove it. Gulp! Even after coming to this conclusion I waited a couple of days to tell him...you know, in case God wanted to change His mind!!!

So the plan was set, he would make the drive by himself. Had the whole route charted out, hotels reserved...we are set. A storm blows through SD and NE so his departure is delayed from Tuesday until Wednesday. He doesn't like waiting a day however he honors his Dad...I hope I grow up to be the man he is becoming. I should mention that from the time we decided he would make this drive by himself until the actual day of departure was a little more than 3 weeks. You can bet everything you have, as well as everything you might ever have, that I prayed my teeth off every single day, multiple times during the day, when I got up to go to the bathroom at night - possibly too much information but it is true!!! So on Wednesday, yes the same Wednesday mentioned in the story above...think about that!!!, my boy set out by himself for a 1,367.08 mile journey by himself.

Day 1 was pretty uneventful and, as he texted me repeatedly...I am sure when getting gas & not driving!, he was a stud. Yesterday brought something a little bit different. The first text I received yesterday morning was "it snowed here last night." Gulp! My reply was, "No way!!! How much?" O.K., I have no idea how much it snowed, I have no idea what the roads look like, I have no basis for making a decision about what to do next. You got this, right Lord? My boy and I talk about being smart, if the roads are too bad don't go, I trust you and I love you. Oh Lord, guard my heart! He takes off. Right around 8:30 I get a call. "Dad, just had the scariest moment of my life. I was passing a semi, hit a bunch of snow, the car spun and I ended up in the median. I can't believe it, I didn't hit a sign or anything." Gulp! Thank you Lord for protecting him. Think! Think! The first thing I say is, "Don't tell your Mom about this until you get here." First thought that came to my mind!! I then tell him to be smart, I tell him staying behind semis when driving through snow is a good thing, just take your time, etc. I pray again...I did this several times during the day. About an hour after "the moment" I am going to a meeting. I decide to give him a call real quick to check in before my meeting. He doesn't answer. Oh Lord! I pray as I walk to the meeting. I give it all to God again. I ask Him to guard my heart. I decide to try calling one more time before my meeting starts. My boy cheerfully answers the phone, "What's up Bro?!" I tell him I had tried to call and he didn't answer. He says he knows, he was talking to his girlfriend. What?!?! Are you kidding me?!?! We go over protocol for the rest of the trip when Dad calls.

A little after 9:15 last night the front door flew open and my boy said, "What's up fam?!" My heart really did jump for joy. We all hugged, talked, hugged some more...it was an amazing feeling. We told Mom about "the moment"...it was a good decision to wait!

Two lessons were learned:
1. I had no choice but to surrender it all to God. Once the decision was made to let him drive by himself there was nothing I could do for him. To surrender it all, to trust God...I grew a lot. I really can't tell you that I enjoyed it all. I can tell you that I had to intentionally pursue Him, to push the negativity out of my mind, to give my worries & fears to Him. Certain I had sought His counsel, He delivered. Thank you Lord.

2. My boy, the one who will one day have a wife to love, respect, honor & protect, who will have children, my grandchildren, to lead, to encourage, to protect, to help find their individual greatness, just found out he can do something that he didn't know if he could do. He faced his fears, his worries, he prayed and God protected him. He grew, another step in launching a Tender Warrior.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev