Happy Friday Friends!
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and a truly awesome week coming to a close for you! It has been one heck of a week for me - full of learning, growth, love & faith.
One of my sons has struggled lately with honesty - complete truth without deception. As my Beautiful Bride and I have found times of his dishonesty we have addressed it...first by talking, demonstrating grace, then taking away privileges...and yet, sadly, there was another instance of dishonesty. I was shocked, disappointed, angry, confused - how could this be? We had talked about honesty, how honesty is the foundation of every relationship, how his continued acts of dishonesty were harming our relationship, how it would be difficult to ever trust him if I didn't know he was ALWAYS (that is measurable by the way!) telling me the truth, etc.
Not knowing exactly what to do - and definitely not trusting MY initial thoughts & feelings...the song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real comes to mind! - I prayed. I asked God to give me His knowledge and His wisdom to lead my son through me, to see the greatness that God sees in him and to do what God would have me do to empower my son to become all that God has created him to become. The answer came almost immediately...though all of the lessons of the action would be revealed slowly. My boys love sports - go figure! - and for a couple of months this son had been looking forward to the start of basketball season...the first time he would be able to try-out and play on a school team. This is a privilege that would now be taken away...there were much more important things to work on than basketball.
As I sat down with my son and began talking to him, he acknowledged his dishonesty, he stated that he knew he shouldn't have done it - though he knew in his heart it was wrong...this is a great sign! - and yet he did. We again talked about all the consequences of dishonesty and then I told him what the consequence of his actions would be. His eyes immediately filled with tears and a look of complete brokenness crossed his face...at that exact moment my heart broke for my son. Almost immediately I wanted to take it back. I silently asked the Lord if He was sure. Couldn't we do something else? Does it have to be this way? And then I recognized the peace in my Spirit that only comes from the affirmation of God. No, we couldn't do something else. Yes, it has to be this way. I am teaching my son a lesson and I am the one learning...I clear heard and felt God say, "Trust me."
There are two specific things I want to share with you from all of this.
1. I have the unspeakable privilege, honor and RESPONSIBILITY of being a husband and father. My sons are counting on me to lead them, guide them, protect them. While my heart truly broke for my son - honestly, it still hurts right now as I am typing this - I am very mindful of what is at stake here. My son will face many more challenges than he faced when he chose to be dishonest. There will be tests of character and integrity greater than he or I, as we sit here in this moment, could ever imagine. It is my responsibility, my obligation to him to do everything in my power - ordered and ordained by God - to prepare him so he is ready when those tests come. My sons wife and children are counting on me. The people who he will have the honor and privilege of having in his life are counting on me. His future employers are counting on me. Yes, this is much bigger than a basketball season. This has ramifications that can reverberate for generations and, no, I don't think I am making a bigger deal out of it than it really is.
2. That night as I was tucking him in, both of our hearts absolutely aching, I snuggled him up close to me, his body melting into mine as he laid his head on my chest and I said, "I love you son. We are going to make it through this together." And at that moment, my Spirit moved within me. In that moment I truly think I got a little glimpse of how God feels about each one of us. We are broken, we make mistakes and we do things that aren't right and He has to mold and shape us. His heart breaks for us, He desperately wants us to become all that we are capable of becoming, He loves us enough to teach us the lessons though He feels our pain and He is there for us - every step of the way - as we make it through this together. Wow! And again, I thought this was about my son learning a lesson!
I also wanted to share a real quick story with you that still makes me laugh just thinking about it. I was taking my 15-year old and my 6-year old (the Little Preacher as I like to call him!) to school. We are driving down the highway, nobody saying a word when the Little Preacher says, "Dad, I see God on you." Startled, surprised I said, "huh?" He said, "yes, I see God in your shadow." With all my fatherly wisdom I said, "wow." Then he said, "I know, it's amazing isn't it?" (Please try to hear this through the voice, the lisp of a 6-year old missing his two front teeth) Yes, it is amazing Little Preacher...all of this is absolutely amazing!
To all of the current and former service men and women out there...from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your selfless service and sacrifice.
Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, cherish your loved ones and Happy Veterans Day.
Kev
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