Happy Friday Friends!
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you!
I am telling you Friends, something grabbed a hold of my heart this week that just won't let go. I almost wrote this message on Wednesday night...this thing has held me so powerfully. With this, I want to apologize on the front end as I am not sure how long this will be.
Wednesday was a big day; it was the final scrimmage and final cuts for the baseball team at my 12-year olds junior high school. This was the last of 7 days of tryouts and at the end, 7 kids would no longer be a part of the team. I woke up nervous and excited for my kid. He had worked hard, he desperately wanted to make the team and he has great hopes and dreams of being a baseball player. As I thought of him, his hopes and dreams, wrote him notes of encouragement, prayed for him - that he would do his best, that he would have peace in his spirit...regardless of the outcome - and prayed that God would lead him through me, this thought of "somebodies kid is going to get cut today" overwhelmed me. It was profound and caused me to pause, not fully sure what it meant or why it burdened my heart. Recognizing that all of this - leading my son, leading my family and what this meant - was way more than I could handle I placed it all at God's feet and left it there, well most of it. I suddenly had peace about my son and the leadership of my family...God was in control, thank God (pun not intended). "Somebodies kid is going to get cut today" however wouldn't leave me. I thought about it all day...but why? Why did this burden my heart? How come all of the sudden whether or not my son would get cut did not burden my heart but the fact that "somebodies kid is going to get today" did? Why?
My answer came in one overwhelming moment right after the scrimmage ended and I have thought about the sweet, precious answer literally hundreds of times since then. "The Answer" is a sweet, sweet boy. His Mom escaped a horrible - truly horrific - abusive relationship and is now battling cancer. He has no positive male role model in his life that I know of. Our family got to know him and his family while "The Answer" and my son played All-Star baseball together. "The Answer" has always came up and talked to my Beautiful Bride and I...a precious spirit searching for love and affirmation. Heck, this week when I would go to watch baseball tryouts he continued reaching out to me. The first day, as he was running back during a drill, he ran up to the fence and said, "do you remember me?" I said, "of course I remember you" and he bounded off with a big smile on his face. The next day I walked up to the fence while he was in the batters box. He turned his head towards me, smiled and waved...while he was at bat! Heck, my own kid won't do that! Another day he came up to me just to chat for a little bit after practice. Now it was the end of the scrimmage, all of the boys were about to walk into the locker room and find out who had made the team and who had not and there was nobody there for "The Answer." Funny, when I prayed over and over that God would prepare my heart for whatever would come that day, I thought I was talking about my son.
After the coach dismissed the team, "The Answer" walked over the fence where my Precious Bride and I were standing. He said, "I am nervous. I don't think I made it." His usual energy and excitement were gone. His voice quivered as he spoke...you know how your voice does when you are really nervous and/or scared. Knowing that he didn't want to walk into the locker room, fearful that his hopes, his dreams would not come true this day. I felt so inadequate in that moment. All my focus, all my attention had been on my son...I never thought about this moment. I asked him, "have you done the very best you could have done?" He softly said, "yes." I told him, "then there is nothing more you can do. Find peace in that." What I said was right and true and yet I felt so...hopeless. He said "o.k." and slowly turned to walk to the locker room. Now I was in a hurry. I told my Bride that we had to hurry and get down to the locker room...not for my son as much as for "The Answer."
It really wasn't hard to tell who had made the team and who had not. You could hear yells and screams of excitement coming from the locker room as these 12, 13 & 14-year old boys saw their names on the list of those who made the team. A part of me hated these sounds as I thought of the boys who were searching, desperately, for their names to be on the list and wouldn't find it. Slowly, one boy after another would walk out, their pace slowed, some with their hats pulled down lower, some with tears in their eyes, everything about them giving you the answer without having said a word. "The Answer" came up to my Bride and I and said, "I didn't make it." I put my arm around him and told him, "I am sorry. Please don't be discouraged and please don't give up." He softly said, "I will just play club ball now" and he walked away. I thought, "God, I am so inadequate." I feel that all over again just typing this!
Here are the things Friends that I have thought about over and over again these past couple of days:
- Failing moments, being told we are not good enough to make a team, are something that we are all going to experience at some point in our life if we truly dream big dreams and dare to actually pursue them. Sadly, as a defense mechanism, many never even attempt to accomplish their goals & dreams...even if they are only the goals & dreams of a child. This way they insure that they never search a list desperately for their name and experience not finding it. At the same time, they die with hopes and dreams stored in their heart, never pursued. I will let your spirit speak to you about which one of the two is truly a failure.
- How are we going to treat those who did not make the team? Will somebody stand up and tell them that their failing moment doesn't make them a failure? Will someone tell them the story of Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player who ever lived, who was once cut from his team? Will we remind them that we love them unconditionally and that we are proud of them, so very proud of them, because they dared to pursue their dream even if it didn't turn out the way we wanted? Will we do everything in our power to help them to see all the good that came in the pursuit of the hope & dream, a very painful moment now, so the next time they have a hope, a dream they will again pursue it, knowing in their precious spirit, that the only thing worse than falling short of the goal would be to never have pursued it?
- Amongst the 7 "Answers" that somberly walked out of the locker room on Wednesday night are no doubt, future husbands and fathers. Maybe the doctor who will finally find a cure for cancer walked out of that locker room. Maybe, just maybe, a great teacher, a future President, a lawyer walked out of the locker room that day. What we tell them, how we treat them, what we teach them from this experience has the potential to greatly impact how the husband treats his wife, what he teaches his kids, whether or not he will dare to cure cancer or pursue his passion as a teacher, a politician or a lawyer.
There is a lot at stake here Friends! We live in a society that desperately wants to define everyone as a winner or loser and at the same time wants to make sure that everyone participates and feels good about themselves. Two distinct, very different, approaches to life. From this we teach - whether intentional or not - that if you have a failing moment you are a failure. In an effort to prevent being labeled a failure people compromise their morals, their ethics, they cheat, they violate their own spirits, to make sure they have more "points" at the end of the day than the other person, and on this basis alone, they label themselves a success. Interestingly, these people (generally speaking) never have a peace in their spirit. They are always chasing approval, affirmation that does not exist. On the other hand are those who won't attempt anything if everyone doesn't get to participate and feel good about themselves. Can I ask you Friend, what would we have, what would be accomplished, what would be invented if nobody ever attempted anything where everyone couldn't participate and there was no guarantee that they would feel good at the end? These are the people who are living physically however they are really dead, not to have lived at all.
I would propose that it is in the pursuit of the hopes and dreams of our heart, placed there by a loving God, that we truly become alive Friends! Success or failure is not determined by the outcome of a specific event but rather by the true, honest pursuit of our life purpose and can only be measured individually against the yardstick of potential vs. fulfillment. There is greatness within you Friend, there is a purpose that God placed within you for which you are perfectly - perfectly! - equipped to accomplish. Please pursue it, dare to be what He called and created you to be and, if there is an "Answer" in your life, please come along side them lovingly, tell them that you love them, that you are proud of them and to keep pursuing their goals and dreams, answering only to their own spirit.
Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day and a great week coming to a close for you!
This past week I had two separate situations occur in my life that brought great moments of clarity about what really matters. As is the case with all growth, the clarity was forged in moments of struggle however the resulting peace in walking out what I had learned left no doubt that I had found greatTruth...a great place to be!
- My 15-year old son is a high school Sophomore quarterback who dreams of playing college football some day. He is currently locked in a battle for the starting QB position at his high school. Last week he had a horrible practice, just horrible. It was one of those days when if you should go right, he went left. If he should throw the ball deep, he threw it short. If he should throw the ball on a line fast, he threw it with a big, slow ark. Ever had a day like that? Yeah, me too. He got in the car after practice and said "let's never talk about this day." I tried humor to brighten his mood...no good. I tried to be all scientific and analyze the how's and why's of what had went wrong...he looked at me like "didn't you hear me tell you I never want talk about this day." Ultimately I simply pointed out that this is how life works sometimes. In spite of our best efforts sometimes things just don't go the way we want them to go. So long as we have done our best - this is a reflection of attitude and effort...not results - we must calm our spirit, rest in peace knowing that we had done the best we were capable of doing that day and get our hearts, minds and spirits ready to fight tomorrow. He listened respectfully, he didn't say a word and we drove the rest of the way home in silence.
This is about the lesson I learned however, not the lesson he may or may not have learned. The next day I was driving home thinking about my son, how hard he works, how desperately he wants to achieve his dreams, how crushed he was by his performance the previous day and then what I could do to help him, what should I say and do, how could I help him become the football player he wants to become. Instantly this feeling came over me, this word spoke to my heart..."this is not what I have asked you to do with your son." I do not have the honor, the privilege, the responsibility of being his Dad to make sure his dreams come true. Yes, I certainly want them to come true. I want my sons to be happy, to be fulfilled, to live great lives without brokenness, without pain, without struggle, without heartache. This however is not what God has charged me with doing in my sons' lives. No, what God has charged me with doing - something He will ultimately hold me accountable for...oh boy! - is teaching my sons who He is, to teach them why and how to commit their lives to Him and then let them make their choice, what it means to pursue Christ every day, to reflect His love, mercy, grace every day, to work as for the Lord and not for man, etc. Instantly this huge burden was lifted from my shoulders as I was brought back to the reality of what I am really supposed to be doing in my sons' lives. I can't make their dreams come true, I can't protect them from all pain, heartache, struggle, etc. I can only teach them who and what to put their faith and hope in, how to become the best they are capable of becoming and where to look, who to let lead them in moments of prosperity and struggle. Ultimately they will decide if they will believe as I do, they will decide where they will place their treasure. This too was a great reminder to me; it is my job to love them, to guide them, to protect them to the level that I can and is appropriate however in the end, they will make their own choices. At that moment, the moment they make their choice(s) I am called to love them unconditionally. I thanked God for these reminders, I lifted my son up to the Lord, I gave all of the burdens, worries and cares to Him and I once again, I asked the Lord to lead my precious family through me.
- My 12-year old son is trying out for his Junior High baseball team. He worked really hard for the past 4 weeks getting ready for these try-outs. He has ran, hit tons of baseballs and we have played hours of catch getting ready for this big week. On Monday, by the accounts of several people who were there, he was incredible. He had a great day and as one of his former coaches who was at the practice said, "he really shined." I went to the tryouts on Tuesday and he did good, not great but good. It was cold by Arizona standards - low 50's - windy and rainy. As we drove home - heater on high, both of us shivering...yes my mid-western Friends, we are wimps - he told me he wasn't feeling well. I honestly wasn't sure if he really didn't feel well or if he was being dramatic because it had been a cold, windy day and he had practiced outside. We got home, he ate quickly and immediately went to bed. He woke up on Wednesday morning - the day they were to hit at baseball tryouts - and he was burning up. He was in fact very sick.
For all of the faults in the Haslam family, and I assure you we have a ton of them, the one thing I have always recognized, valued and appreciated is that everyone in our family really does pull for each other. While it is my 12-year old that is going through the tryouts I assure you that everyone else in our family is there with him in heart, mind and spirit. We truly care about each other. Well, with him waking up sick I now had my Beautiful Bride, my 15-year old son and the 6-year old Preacher all up in arms - it's tryouts!, what will happen?, will he make the team?, he has worked so hard? this isn't fair!, etc. After a quick prayer (God please lead them through me) and begging for His guidance, I simply said, "Nothing is more important than him. He is sick. He has to stay home and rest. If he doesn't make the team because he got sick, it is not a team we want to be on." Not profound words I admit. They are words however that spoke to the hearts of all of us. Nothing is more important than the person, nothing. Instantly our hearts, our minds, our spirits were at peace. Yesterday his fever broke. Today he will return to school and the coach said that he can resume tryouts today. I don't know if he will make the team or not. I am thankful that we had the opportunity to walk out what truly matters.
Friends, in the rush of life, in our desire to be successful and to see our family members be successful, I pray that we will all remember what we are really called to do and what really matters.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and cherish your precious families.
Kev
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you! It has been interesting this week; I have not found one single person who was going for the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Literally every single person I have asked this week was going for the Giants! Poor Patriots...not one single person outside their families and me was going for them!!
I want to share a couple of different situations that I encountered this week:
1. A good friend called and wanted to talk about a situation he was having at work. He is having a conflict with his business partner, they are going through a "divorce" as he said. He told me about the challenges she has faced in her life, the brokenness she has experienced, the lack of trust she now has, the mean things she now does, the list goes on and on.
2. My boys were telling me about a little boy who they interact with on a pretty regular basis. The little boy whines, he is mean to the other kids, he starts fights and then runs and tells the person in authority that the other person is picking on him. Again, the list goes on and on.
When I was teaching a High School Sunday School class in Safford, AZ we once did a great exercise that I would like to ask you to do, at least mentally, this morning. Think of a person that you really don't like or get along with. Maybe it's someone who did something to you when you were a child or perhaps it is a current co-worker who is just mean-spirited. Now, draw a picture of them on a sheet of paper...again, this works if you just visualize it. Hang the picture on the wall right there in front of you...come one, stay with me and go ahead and do it. Now - this is the fun part - throw darts at that picture. Go ahead, let all the anger, resentment, frustration come out. Throw the darts harder! There is no limit on the number of darts you throw...you just keep on throwing until the anger, resentment, frustration are gone. Now, go take the picture off the wall. Do you see it? Yes, right behind the picture of the person who has caused you anger, resentment, frustration and pain is...a picture of Jesus. Every dart you threw cut, scared and marked the face of Jesus. When I threw that dart that felt so good, when I tore a big gash in the right cheek of the person I drew I also tore a big gash in the right cheek of Jesus. Uh-oh!!!
O.K., don't be mad at me and draw a picture of me know!!! I have been - heck, I am - where you are walking right now. There are people who do things that hurt us, that aren't or don't seem fair, who - for whatever reason - just seem to be mean-spirited. It is so easy to get caught up in ridiculing them, picking apart their faults, being angry at them, wanting - if we are truly honest with our feelings - bad to come to them, etc. Everyone can relate to this at some level or another.
I would like to offer up a two points to ponder that I hope will change our perspectives...even if only a little bit.
1. God loves, and He sent His Son to die for, each and every person that walks on the face of this earth. Please Friends, let the weight of that statement sink in for just a moment. We embrace this truth in our lives, we find comfort and peace in it and, particularly at moments of great pain and struggle, we put our hope in it. Yet we can struggle in seeing and accepting this in others. It becomes particularly difficult to see this in people who we deem "bad." On this whole continuum of people we start from the "saintly" to the most "evil" and at some point we find ourselves pausing, struggling to accept that Jesus could have possibly died for that person, that God could love them unconditionally just as He loves us and yet the bible tells me this is true.
When you find yourself in a situation where there is someone who is "difficult" (I use the term to describe the entire continuum) please pause for just a moment, remind yourself that God loves them and Jesus died for them and that they are not the real enemy. Again, the bible tells me these things are all true. Satan is true and alive. Sometimes he will use people to attack us, hurt us, discourage us, etc. At the end of the day the person is just like you and I - flawed, broken, in desperate need of a Savior. Nothing more, nothing less. The person is not the enemy...they may simply be the vessel that the enemy is using to carry forth his message.
2. Life is hard, people are hurt, broken and suffering. Take a quick look back at the two examples I gave at the top. The woman has experienced great pain, she has been hurt, as my friend described "she has had horrible things done to her." Look at the little boy. Would it surprise you if I told you his Mom & Dad are not invested in his life, that for most of his life he was left with a babysitter, that he struggles to show or accept loving affection? The woman is living out the pain - throwing darts if you will - and the little boy is desperately seeking attention. Both are crying out from the heart, "won't someone love me? Won't someone care about me?" They both desire it and are seeking it so strongly that they are hurting and pushing others away. It becomes one sad, vicious cycle.
I would like to encourage you to really care about and seek to understand others. I am not talking about being judgemental here. I am talking about looking beyond the attitude, the actions and truly try to understand the person. We are all the sum of our experiences. The statement "hurting people hurt people" really is true. It is absolutely no fun to be on the receiving end. We can rise above this though and possibly even help this person - I said possibly...please don't attach success or failure to the ultimate outcome...the bible says "so much as it is up to you get along with everyone" - if we will set our pride to the side and see the bigger picture. You may never find it easy or even possible to interact with them on a daily basis however this never prevents you from praying for them, lifting them up to the Lord and asking Him to minister to their hearts.
Two quick teachings from the Little Preacher this morning (how did a 6-year old get so smart and why in the heck can't I figure this out and have to keep learning? Rhetorical question, rhetorical question, please don't answer!!!):
1. Earlier this week I was taking the Little Preacher and his brother to school and we were late. As we pulled up to the school I said, "we don't have time for a hug and kiss this morning. You have to get going." Oh my gosh, the look on his face tore at my soul and ripped my heart out. He froze. Realizing how utterly stupid my comment was I gave him a hug and a kiss. He was immediately energized and bounced out of the car confident, happy and ready to face his day. There is always time for a hug and kiss Friends...we have to make the time.
2. As we were snuggling the other night the Little Preacher says, "You know, God has it all planned." Truly Friends, I was shocked. We aren't talking about anything. We are laying there snuggling, I am starting to doze off...drooling will commence in minutes and the Little Preacher says this. After asking him to repeat himself to make sure I am not dreaming I ask him who told him that. He says, "I just thought about it...and I asked Mom." Now that made my heart happy and brought a huge smile to my face. May we all have the faith of our Little Preachers...and a Mom who knows everything!
Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you Friends. I will always be happy and willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and truly cherish your precious families.
Kev
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you have had a great week!
Our hearts have been on my mind and, well heart, for the last couple of weeks. Physically it is pretty clear and easy to understand...life flows through our hearts. If our hearts stop, we die. We work out (some of us!) diligently to preserve it, we watch what we eat to try to protect and, if something goes wrong with our physical heart, medical advances are so great that we can actually get a new one to sustain our lives.
The heart that I am speaking about this morning however is not the physical heart. The heart I am speaking about and thinking about is actually much more important than the physical heart. Life flows through this heart as well. Sadly, people - lots and lots of people - are living physically however the heart of which I am speaking is dead - hardened by life, broken by abuses - physical, mental, spiritual and just plain empty.
I would like to share several facts, quotes and scriptures with you:
- According to www.twopaths.com in four different translations of the bible, the heart is the fourth most used word in the bible after Lord, God & Jesus. I am not the brightest bulb on the scoreboard however I figure if heart appears this many times in the bible it must be important!
- Dictionary.com lists several definitions for heart and includes more than 20 idioms for heart. Again, seems to me to be a pretty big, important word.
- "Happy are those whose hearts are pure, for they shall see God." - Matthew 5:8
- "End all wickedness, O Lord, and bless all who truly worship God; for you, the righteous God, look deep within the hearts of men and examine all their motives and their thoughts. God is my shield; He will defend me. He saves those whose hearts and lives are right and true." - Psalm 7: 9 - 10
- "You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For a man's heart determines his speech. A good man's speech reveals the rich treasures within him. An evil-hearted man is filled with venom, and his speech reveals it." - Matthew 12: 34 - 35
- "Only those with pure hands and hearts, who do not practice dishonesty and lying." - Psalm 24: 4
- In "Waking the Dead" John Eldridge states: "Of all the things that are required of us in this life, which is the most important? What is the real point of our existence? Jesus was confronted with the question point-blank one day, and he boiled it all down to two things: loving God and loving others. Do this, he said, and you will find the purpose of your life. Everything else will fall into place. Somewhere down inside we know it's true: we know love is the point. We know if we could truly love and be loved, and never lose love, we would finally be happy. And is it even possible to love without your heart?"
- Eldridge also states, "Whether it's the people in your life or the things that bring you joy or the places that are dear to you or your God, you could not love them if you did not have a heart. Loving requires a heart alive and awake and free."
Yes, this is the heart I am talking about. And does the "alive and awake and free" cause something to move inside you like it does within me?!?! Wow! That's the heart I am talking about, the heart I want and the heart I truly desire for you.
So where is the disconnect? Why are there so many people walking around alive and yet, at the same time, completely dead. I would like to share just a few thoughts/ideas for you to consider on this beautiful Friday morning.
1. We need to take care of our hearts. Just as we workout and watch what we eat to take care of our physical hearts, we need to workout and watch what we feed our spiritual hearts as well and I would offer, even more so. The things we allow to be poured into our hearts - words, thoughts, ideas, etc. - plant a tiny seed that when we water them they grow. As we continue to feed our hearts these words, thoughts, ideas, etc. they grow and grow and grow. Just as the physical foods we eat fill our heart and clog arteries, these "foods" fill our hearts as well. These "foods" then fuel our words, our thoughts and our actions. It really isn't hard to see what "foods" a person has been eating and what type of "workout" they have been doing for their heart. Please think about it. Where have the hopes and dreams gone? Why do some feel as though their lives have no meaning, value or purpose? Who told a woman she is not beautiful enough? Who told the man his life has no purpose? Who told the child it is useless to pursue a dream?
2. It just kills me to think of what we do to one anothers hearts! If we are breathing this morning I pray that we will realize that the words we speak, the things we do impact lives greatly. A careless word spoken in a moment of exhaustion or frustration can plant a seed in anothers heart that can change the entire trajectory of the life that person will live...and no, I am not being dramatic! As a man who was privileged to be called "Coach" for more than 15 years, I can't count the number of young men who I have talked to who were totally broken - totally broken at 17, 18, 19-years of age!!! - because someone had planted seeds of "dumb", "worthless", "useless", "hopeless", etc. in their hearts. These untruths had taken root and grown deep...sometimes so deep I wondered how such a thing could be possible. They now believed this to be true and were living out their lives accordingly. As a man honored and privileged to be called Husband and Dad this scares me, it motivates me and more than anything else it forces me to my knees to beg God to lead them through me because I know I am completely unable of leading them by my own accord.
3. I have shared this quote before however I must share it again; Ken Whitten once said, "What is in the well always comes up in the bucket." What is in your heart will always come out in your attitude, words, actions, etc. I want to encourage us all to pull the bucket up this morning and take a look inside. Oh trust me, I get it. We might not like the "water" that we see spill out. Just because we don't like it doesn't change what the "water" acts like, says and does. That is determined by the "workouts" and "food" we have been feeding our hearts. While we can't change what is in the bucket this morning, we can choose the "workouts" and the "food" we will feed our hearts from this moment forward and slowly - not slowly like "what's the use" by the way! - our "water" will begin to change.
Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your precious families. I am always willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and Go Patriots! (Oh come on, I am a former football coach...what did you expect!)
Kev
