What Really Matters...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day and a great week coming to a close for you!

This past week I had two separate situations occur in my life that brought great moments of clarity about what really matters. As is the case with all growth, the clarity was forged in moments of struggle however the resulting peace in walking out what I had learned left no doubt that I had found greatTruth...a great place to be!

• My 15-year old son is a high school Sophomore quarterback who dreams of playing college football some day. He is currently locked in a battle for the starting QB position at his high school. Last week he had a horrible practice, just horrible. It was one of those days when if you should go right, he went left. If he should throw the ball deep, he threw it short. If he should throw the ball on a line fast, he threw it with a big, slow ark. Ever had a day like that? Yeah, me too. He got in the car after practice and said "let's never talk about this day." I tried humor to brighten his  mood...no good. I tried to be all scientific and analyze the how's and why's of what had went wrong...he looked at me like "didn't you hear me tell you I never want talk about this day." Ultimately I simply pointed out that this is how life works sometimes. In spite of our best efforts sometimes things just don't go the way we want them to go. So long as we have done our best - this is a reflection of attitude and effort...not results - we must calm our spirit, rest in peace knowing that we had done the best we were capable of doing that day and get our hearts, minds and spirits ready to fight tomorrow. He listened respectfully, he didn't say a word and we drove the rest of the way home in silence.

This is about the lesson I learned however, not the lesson he may or may not have learned. The next day I was driving home thinking about my son, how hard he works, how desperately he wants to achieve his dreams, how crushed he was by his performance the previous day and then what I could do to help him, what should I say and do, how could I help him become the football player he wants to become. Instantly this feeling came over me, this word spoke to my heart..."this is not what I have asked you to do with your son." I do not have the honor, the privilege, the responsibility of being his Dad to make sure his dreams come true. Yes, I certainly want them to come true. I want my sons to be happy, to be fulfilled, to live great lives without brokenness, without pain, without struggle, without heartache. This however is not what God has charged me with doing in my sons' lives. No, what God has charged me with doing - something He will ultimately hold me accountable for...oh boy! - is teaching my sons who He is, to teach them why and how to commit their lives to Him and then let them make their choice, what it means to pursue Christ every day, to reflect His love, mercy, grace every day, to work as for the Lord and not for man, etc. Instantly this huge burden was lifted from my shoulders as I was brought back to the reality of what I am really supposed to be doing in my sons' lives. I can't make their dreams come true, I can't protect them from all pain, heartache, struggle, etc. I can only teach them who and what to put their faith and hope in, how to become the best they are capable of becoming and where to look, who to let lead them in moments of prosperity and struggle. Ultimately they will decide if they will believe as I do, they will decide where they will place their treasure. This too was a great reminder to me; it is my job to love them, to guide them, to protect them to the level that I can and is appropriate however in the end, they will make their own choices. At that moment, the moment they make their choice(s) I am called to love them unconditionally. I thanked God for these reminders, I lifted my son up to the Lord, I gave all of the burdens, worries and cares to Him and I once again, I asked the Lord to lead my precious family through me.

• My 12-year old son is trying out for his Junior High baseball team. He worked really hard for the past 4 weeks getting ready for these try-outs. He has ran, hit tons of baseballs and we have played hours of catch getting ready for this big week. On Monday, by the accounts of several people who were there, he was incredible. He had a great day and as one of his former coaches who was at the practice said, "he really shined." I went to the tryouts on Tuesday and he did good, not great but good. It was cold by Arizona standards - low 50's - windy and rainy. As we drove home - heater on high, both of us shivering...yes my mid-western Friends, we are wimps - he told me he wasn't feeling well. I honestly wasn't sure if he really didn't feel well or if he was being dramatic because it had been a cold, windy day and he had practiced outside. We got home, he ate quickly and immediately went to bed. He woke up on Wednesday morning - the day they were to hit at baseball tryouts - and he was burning up. He was in fact very sick.

For all of the faults in the Haslam family, and I assure you we have a ton of them, the one thing I have always recognized, valued and appreciated is that everyone in our family really does pull for each other. While it is my 12-year old that is going through the tryouts I assure you that everyone else in our family is there with him in heart, mind and spirit. We truly care about each other. Well, with him waking up sick I now had my Beautiful Bride, my 15-year old son and the 6-year old Preacher all up in arms - it's tryouts!, what will happen?, will he make the team?, he has worked so hard? this isn't fair!, etc. After a quick prayer (God please lead them through me) and begging for His guidance, I simply said, "Nothing is more important than him. He is sick. He has to stay home and rest. If he doesn't make the team because he got sick, it is not a team we want to be on." Not profound words I admit. They are words however that spoke to the hearts of all of us. Nothing is more important than the person, nothing. Instantly our hearts, our minds, our spirits were at peace. Yesterday his fever broke. Today he will return to school and the coach said that he can resume tryouts today. I don't know if he will make the team or not. I am thankful that we had the opportunity to walk out what truly matters.

Friends, in the rush of life, in our desire to be successful and to see our family members be successful, I pray that we will all remember what we are really called to do and what really matters.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and cherish your precious families.

Kev