Somebody's Kid Got Cut...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and an awesome week coming to a close for you!

I am telling you Friends, something grabbed a hold of my heart this week that just won't let go. I almost wrote this message on Wednesday night...this thing has held me so powerfully. With this, I want to apologize on the front end as I am not sure how long this will be.

Wednesday was a big day; it was the final scrimmage and final cuts for the baseball team at my 12-year olds junior high school. This was the last of 7 days of tryouts and at the end, 7 kids would no longer be a part of the team. I woke up nervous and excited for my kid. He had worked hard, he desperately wanted to make the team and he has great hopes and dreams of being a baseball player. As I thought of him, his hopes and dreams, wrote him notes of encouragement, prayed for him - that he would do his best, that he would have peace in his spirit...regardless of the outcome - and prayed that God would lead him through me, this thought of "somebodies kid is going to get cut today" overwhelmed me. It was profound and caused me to pause, not fully sure what it meant or why it burdened my heart. Recognizing that all of this - leading my son, leading my family and what this meant - was way more than I could handle I placed it all at God's feet and left it there, well most of it. I suddenly had peace about my son and the leadership of my family...God was in control, thank God (pun not intended). "Somebodies kid is going to get cut today" however wouldn't leave me. I thought about it all day...but why? Why did this burden my heart? How come all of the sudden whether or not my son would get cut did not burden my heart but the fact that "somebodies kid is going to get today" did? Why?

My answer came in one overwhelming moment right after the scrimmage ended and I have thought about the sweet, precious answer literally hundreds of times since then. "The Answer" is a sweet, sweet boy. His Mom escaped a horrible - truly horrific - abusive relationship and is now battling cancer. He has no positive male role model in his life that I know of. Our family got to know him and his family while "The Answer" and my son played All-Star baseball together. "The Answer" has always came up and talked to my Beautiful Bride and I...a precious spirit searching for love and affirmation. Heck, this week when I would go to watch baseball tryouts he continued reaching out to me. The first day, as he was running back during a drill, he ran up to the fence and said, "do you remember me?" I said, "of course I remember you" and he bounded off with a big smile on his face. The next day I walked up to the fence while he was in the batters box. He turned his head towards me, smiled and waved...while he was at bat! Heck, my own kid won't do that! Another day he came up to me just to chat for a little bit after practice. Now it was the end of the scrimmage, all of the boys were about to walk into the locker room and find out who had made the team and who had not and there was nobody there for "The Answer." Funny, when I prayed over and over that God would prepare my heart for whatever would come that day, I thought I was talking about my son.

After the coach dismissed the team, "The Answer" walked over the fence where my Precious Bride and I were standing. He said, "I am nervous. I don't think I made it." His usual energy and excitement were gone. His voice quivered as he spoke...you know how your voice does when you are really nervous and/or scared. Knowing that he didn't want to walk into the locker room, fearful that his hopes, his dreams would not come true this day. I felt so inadequate in that moment. All my focus, all my attention had been on my son...I never thought about this moment. I asked him, "have you done the very best you could have done?" He softly said, "yes." I told him, "then there is nothing more you can do. Find peace in that." What I said was right and true and yet I felt so...hopeless. He said "o.k." and slowly turned to walk to the locker room. Now I was in a hurry. I told my Bride that we had to hurry and get down to the locker room...not for my son as much as for "The Answer."

It really wasn't hard to tell who had made the team and who had not. You could hear yells and screams of excitement coming from the locker room as these 12, 13 & 14-year old boys saw their names on the list of those who made the team. A part of me hated these sounds as I thought of the boys who were searching, desperately, for their names to be on the list and wouldn't find it. Slowly, one boy after another would walk out, their pace slowed, some with their hats pulled down lower, some with tears in their eyes, everything about them giving you the answer without having said a word. "The Answer" came up to my Bride and I and said, "I didn't make it." I put my arm around him and told him, "I am sorry. Please don't be discouraged and please don't give up." He softly said, "I will just play club ball now" and he walked away. I thought, "God, I am so inadequate." I feel that all over again just typing this!

Here are the things Friends that I have thought about over and over again these past couple of days:

• Failing moments, being told we are not good enough to make a team, are something that we are all going to experience at some point in our life if we truly dream big dreams and dare to actually pursue them. Sadly, as a defense mechanism, many never even attempt to accomplish their goals & dreams...even if they are only the goals & dreams of a child. This way they insure that they never search a list desperately for their name and experience not finding it. At the same time, they die with hopes and dreams stored in their heart, never pursued. I will let your spirit speak to you about which one of the two is truly a failure.
• How are we going to treat those who did not make the team? Will somebody stand up and tell them that their failing moment doesn't make them a failure? Will someone tell them the story of Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player who ever lived, who was once cut from his team? Will we remind them that we love them unconditionally and that we are proud of them, so very proud of them, because they dared to pursue their dream even if it didn't turn out the way we wanted? Will we do everything in our power to help them to see all the good that came in the pursuit of the hope & dream, a very painful moment now, so the next time they have a hope, a dream they will again pursue it, knowing in their precious spirit, that the only thing worse than falling short of the goal would be to never have pursued it? 
• Amongst the 7 "Answers" that somberly walked out of the locker room on Wednesday night are no doubt, future husbands and fathers. Maybe the doctor who will finally find a cure for cancer walked out of that locker room. Maybe, just maybe, a great teacher, a future President, a lawyer walked out of the locker room that day. What we tell them, how we treat them, what we teach them from this experience has the potential to greatly impact how the husband treats his wife, what he teaches his kids, whether or not he will dare to cure cancer or pursue his passion as a teacher, a politician or a lawyer.

There is a lot at stake here Friends!  We live in a society that desperately wants to define everyone as a winner or loser and at the same time wants to make sure that everyone participates and feels good about themselves. Two distinct, very different, approaches to life. From this we teach - whether intentional or not - that if you have a failing moment you are a failure. In an effort to prevent being labeled a failure people compromise their morals, their ethics, they cheat, they violate their own spirits, to make sure they have more "points" at the end of the day than the other person, and on this basis alone, they label themselves a success. Interestingly, these people (generally speaking) never have a peace in their spirit. They are always chasing approval, affirmation that does not exist. On the other hand are those who won't attempt anything if everyone doesn't get to participate and feel good about themselves. Can I ask you Friend, what would we have, what would be accomplished, what would be invented if nobody ever attempted anything where everyone couldn't participate and there was no guarantee that they would feel good at the end? These are the people who are living physically however they are really dead, not to have lived at all.

I would propose that it is in the pursuit of the hopes and dreams of our heart, placed there by a loving God, that we truly become alive Friends! Success or failure is not determined by the outcome of a specific event but rather by the true, honest pursuit of our life purpose and can only be measured individually against the yardstick of potential vs. fulfillment. There is greatness within you Friend, there is a purpose that God placed within you for which you are perfectly - perfectly! - equipped to accomplish. Please pursue it, dare to be what He called and created you to be and, if there is an "Answer" in your life, please come along side them lovingly, tell them that you love them, that you are proud of them and to keep pursuing their goals and dreams, answering only to their own spirit.

Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev