Memorable

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day! How come the weeks after a long weekend always seem longer than the regular work week?!

This is the 100th "Happy Friday" that I have posted. The past few weeks, as I looked at the tally and realized that it was getting closer and closer to the 100th, I kept thinking about what I would do for this special post. As is always the case, the answer slapped me in the face in a way I will never (never is measurable and yes, I mean never) forget.

Monday was Memorial Day. For many Memorial Day is simply a day off of work, the opportunity to get together with family and friends, to have a barbecue. As stated on wikipedia.org, "Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday which occurs every year on the final Monday of May. Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces." Days off of work, family and friends, barbecues...there is nothing inherently wrong with any of them and, in fact, if we spent more time doing these things I am highly confident that this world would be a better place. What this special, special day is all about however is those who gave their lives serving our country.

The Diamondbacks were playing the Rangers in the 2nd game of a doubleheader and Yu Darvish was going to be pitching for the Rangers. My Beautiful Bride, my Tender Warriors and I had cooked our wings and carne asada, we had our blanket spread out on the living room floor, our meal prepared so we could watch Yu pitch. We had the TV turned to the channel the game was going to be on and we were waiting for the pregame show to end, and then it happened.

All the sudden on the screen was a middle aged lady, wearing a shirt that resembled the American flag. She is standing next to the pitchers mound. A person doesn't stand on the pitchers mound...a ball simply sits there on the ground. I can't hear everything the announcer says...I have 3 excited boys and a Mom trying to corral the crew in the background. I hear "honorary 1st pitch", "died in service"...I don't hear a name, the TV goes silent. I get it. This is a Mom whose son or daughter died in service to our country...this hero is the one being honored during the honorary 1st pitch. The image is blazed in my memory. A Mom standing alone beside the mound, her son or daughter no longer there to throw the ball because he or she died fighting for our country. Wow! As the announcers remained silent, the crowd stood in an awestruck silence, the Mom broke down for a very brief moment and then stood there proudly. Her strength amazed me.

The rest of the day and into Tuesday I could not get this Mom and her son or daughter out of my mind. Who are they? What happened? I prayed for the family, for the peace of a Mom and perhaps a Dad. I decided I would find out. I want to use this Happy Friday to honor this warrior, representing all men and women who have died serving our country in the United States Armed Forces.

Michael Adam Marzano was born on May 18, 1976 in Greenville, PA to Albert Marzano and Margy Bons. In high school he played football and was an avid boxer. According to reports he won several Golden Gloves Championship titles in Ohio. He enjoyed riding motorcycles and playing Madden Football video games. From what I was able to learn he wanted to be a Marine since he was a very little boy.

Sgt. Marzano died on May 7, 2005 when a bomb in a suicide vehicle exploded during combat in Hadithah, Iraq. I feel compelled to tell you that Sgt. Marzano had completed his active duty, was serving as a reservist and in January of 2005, he volunteered and was deployed to Iraq.

Sgt. Marzano sounds like he was a really, really neat guy...someone any of us would want as a friend, son, brother. There is a great website called fallenheroesmemorial.com where people can write messages to and about those who lost their lives serving our country. If you want to read what others have to say to and about Sgt. Marzano, you can find it at http://www.fallenheroesmemorial.com/oif/profiles/marzanomichaela.html.

A few things I want to share:

• As I learned more about Sgt. Marzano I was struck by how much he was like me, like my boys. He like football, he liked video games, he liked riding motorcycles...just like any other boy anywhere in this country. Sadly we often depersonalize loss in this country. It was just another person, it was just another soldier. No, it was someones son, someones daughter...and they were just like you and me. I pray that we will all slow down the next time we hear of a soldier being killed, next Memorial Day and remember.
• Margy Bons sounds like a remarkable woman. After her sons death she started Military Assistance Mission (MAM - the same initials as her son) with the following mission: "Provide financial and morale aid to our current Arizona active duty military, their families, and wounded warriors regardless of overseas deployment status." One of those writing after Sgt. Marzano's death on fallenheroesmemorial.com was the Marine recruiter who had recruited her son. He talked about being nervous, being afraid to see her after Sgt. Marzano's death because he thought she would be mad at him, angry with him because he felt responsible for her sons death. Instead this woman of remarkable strength thanked the Marine recruiter for helping her son fulfill his boyhood dream.
• Several postings indicate that Margy worried/worries that her son will be forgotten. Ma'am, I assure you that your son will never be forgotten.

As I stated at the top, this tribute to Sgt. Marzano is in fact intended to be a memorial to all the men and women who have lost their lives serving our country. With the deepest gratitude I say thank you, we will never forget you and, I pray, we will honor you every day by the lives we live, by pursuing the dreams that your sacrifice enabled us to dream.

"It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of press.

It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."

Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kevin

Others Share

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and with great anticipation looking forward to this Memorial Day weekend.

Well, I promised if others shared their stories I would share them with all of you. With out delay, and with my deepest apologies because I later learned that they had sent them to me prior to last weeks "Happy Friday," here you go.

BL shared the following:

My wife and I have been blessed with two amazing children - a boy and a girl. We have often talked about more, but conception has been a major hurdle for us, even with the two we do have. Two weeks ago, we learned that my wife was pregnant, however she immediately started having the symptoms of a miscarriage. The news from her doctor was bittersweet in that we were told that she was carrying twins, but it appears that one of them did miscarry. Earlier this week the symptoms returned and we feared that she may be losing the second. The example of Christlike service came in two ways this week. First, the out flowing love and support from friends and family towards my wife and our family was overwhelming (in a great way). But the second was what truly inspired me to increase my efforts in all aspects. The way that my wife, while going through the mental, emotional and physical trials that she has, did not miss a beat in her devotion to helping our family and others. Her positive attitude brought comfort to both me and her, as well as those that are worried about her. She was determined to find the silver lining in this trial of her life, and I believe that she's at peace with whatever news she receives at her next appointment. I am following her lead - It generally leads in the right direction. I love that our daughter is watching my wife's actions and hopefully taking note for when her turn as wife and mother arrives (in due time of course...). I hope that my son learns from her the qualities he wants in a wife, and the mother of his children. 

 I hope this story, in some way, inspires and provides hope to the reader(s) - Thank you for letting me share. 

And AC shared:

To really be intentional about seeing the needs of others!  I share this story not because I was able to help one in need, but because I was able to witness kindness, amazing how your Friday messages seem to resonate immediately.  I witnessed this the day before your message.  I was on my way to go meet my wife downtown, a route I don’t take often, as I like avoiding traffic.  I was northbound in the inside lane of a N/S six lane road intersecting a four lane E/W road when I spotted a small Benji type dog running southbound crossing the E/W road.  We were on a red light and fortunately the traffic on the four lane road was light and the little guy made it across safely.  I could see the southbound traffic could easily see him in their lane whenever the light turned green, so I was cautiously optimistic they would slow for him and let him get off the road.  Then for reasons unknown he decided to turn eastbound crossing our 3 lanes just as the light was turning green.  I was behind a couple of cars and boxed in on the right, but everyone else could see what was going on and did not move, unfortunately the far right lane was open and I could see a large black, lifted, big wheeled, blacked out windows - type truck coming up on the right, timing the green light perfectly, there was no way the driver was going to see the dog before it was too late, heck he probably won’t even stop to see what happened.  I wanted to avert my eyes to what was about to happen, the look and style of truck had prejudiced me towards the occupants; there was no hope for the dog.  Then it happened.   The truck, sensing all was not right with no cars moving slowed down, the dog appeared right in front of him and they were able to stop.  About that time the traffic was moving as the dog cleared the roadway and I was contemplating what Kevin had written about, turning around and trying to help the little guy out, sadly I don’t think I would have.  I was then further humbled when the big black truck turned right and the passenger jumped out to rescue the little guy who was scraggly, scared and needed help desperately.  I felt so guilty about having prejudged the occupants, I couldn’t see the driver because of the dark tint on the windows, but the young man that jumped out was not someone who looked the guardian angel type by any means, yet he was.  So many lessons learned in such a short time.  God gives us opportunities to live, learn and be better people, it is a great challenge, I hope to step up the next time around.

To all the Dad's out there, I came across this quote this week and man did it ever challenge my spirit!

"A successful father will produce a child greater than himself." - Unknown

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can. Also, if your spirit is ever convicted to share something, please get it to me and I will be sure to share it.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Your Story Matters

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great Friday and that you have had an awesome week! After a very busy week and a quick trip to the Great Northwest I am so ready for some quality with my family...they bless my life so richly!

Last week I wrote about having "eyes to see," to see the need of another person and to actually step up and help them. I asked you all to share your stories of moments that you clearly saw the need of another and you stepped up and helped them. I promised that I would then share your stories here this week. Here they are, all the stories that were sent to me about seeing the need of another and helping them:

(the sound of crickets chirping)

(the sound of birds singing outside)

(the sound of cars driving past our home as the city wakes up)

That's right Friends, "Happy Friday" is read by folks all over the United States, in more than 10 different countries and I did not get one story of seeing the need of another and stepping out to help them, to serve them. Now I know to the depths of my heart that people did in fact do these things and to you I say great job, I am so proud of you and I am truly thankful that God used you in that persons/those people's lives.

But why no stories? The point here is not to chastise, to be understood. No, the point here is to encourage and to understand - one another and perhaps ourselves. 

I suspect a whole lot of folks didn't share a story because they are just too busy. I get that. With all the priorities in your life sharing your story should be lower on the list - after your personal growth & development, after taking care of your family, after fulfilling your calling (you might call it a job), etc. We all have those seasons of life when we want life to slow down. I get that and if that is you, hang in there, it will get better.

What concerns me is those who didn't share their story because they feel their story, their life doesn't matter. That somehow who you are and what you do is insignificant. Yes, this grieves my heart, my spirit greatly.

Friend, whoever you are and wherever you are on this beautiful Friday morning, please know that your life has great value, great meaning and great purpose. That every word you speak, every action you take speaks deeply into the hearts and souls of the people who observe you - whether you know they are watching you or not. You - husband, wife, friend, leader - are a model to anyone and everyone who sees you, who hears you...every day. Oh how I hope and pray all of our hearts and spirits will learn this, will grasp this, today. We don't operate in a vacuum. You can say that you are not a model, that what you say and do doesn't matter...and you would be very, very tragically wrong. Don't believe me? If you have the privilege of being a spouse, look deep into their eyes, into the spirit of your spouse. You will find the footprints of your words, your actions written all over their hearts. If you have the privilege of being called "Mom" or "Dad" by a precious little spirit, look at the things they say and do. You will find that they look and sound eerily like you...and not just the good stuff. Dang it!

And please don't minimize the experiences that you have had in your life. God really does use us in one anothers lives to encourage and inspire one another. We are all somewhere on this great continuum that we call life. There are people that are ahead of you and there are people behind you in terms of experiences on this wonderful life journey. Something that may now seem insignificant to you in your life is very profound, very significant to someone else in theirs - just as it once was to you -and this is your chance, your opportunity to inspire another life, to help another soul on their life journey. Please don't minimize these things, don't minimize your value, your strength. You do have a wonderful story to tell - it is your life - and it does serve a great purpose in the lives of countless people.

From this point forward, if you ever have a story you want to share, please email me, post a comment on the blog...I don't care how you get it to me. Please just know that your stories are always welcome, wanted and I would be honored to share it in a "Happy Friday" to encourage, empower and equip others on their life journey.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Eyes to See

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning! I hope that you have had a great week and that you are looking forward to a wonderful weekend with your family and friends. This morning I hope your heart is filled with great hope! :)

Yesterday my 13-year old Tender Warrior had a baseball game. After the game I was getting all loaded up with the Haslam's necessities from the game - 3 lawn chairs, umbrella, etc. Just as I had everything loaded up and ready to make the journey to the car I saw our sweet friend who is in a wheelchair struggling to wheel herself across the grass field to her van. I quickly put everything that I had loaded on my shoulders down and went over and pushed her to her car. She thanked me continually as I pushed her across the field, explaining how hard it is to wheel herself across a grass field and how tired she gets. I hardly broke a sweat though it was over 90 degrees and to me it was nothing. To her it meant everything.

As my 13-year old and I were driving home we talked about the game for a few minutes and then our talk turned to our sweet friend who can't just walk across a grass field like we can. I asked him if he had noticed her struggling and he said he had. I asked him if he noticed her son walking way ahead of her, oblivious to the struggles of his Mom. This he had not noticed. We then talked about how we all do this sometimes. Caught up in our world, our thoughts, our problems, our worries, our concerns...so caught up in what is going on in our lives that we don't notice the need, the opportunity for us to serve, others. You see, her son is a good kid. He is also like the rest of us. His game had ended, his team had lost, he (along with everyone else including my guy) had made mistakes and he was upset. Because of what was going on in his life he did not have eyes to see.

My Tender Warrior and I then talked about this...eyes to see. To really be intentional about seeing the needs of others. To not get so caught up in our own little world, our worries, our concerns that we cannot see the needs of others and, most importantly, step up and do something to help them. You know how when you want something really bad like a certain car, a certain shoe, a certain TV - you can fill in the blank with whatever it is you want - you always notice when you see it? Yeah, that is what I am hoping to cause in all of us on this beautiful morning...that we will be as in tune with the needs of others, of our opportunities to serve them as we are with whatever it is we want - that we never miss an opportunity to serve another.

If you are feeling real brave and daring this morning I encourage you to ask God to break your heart for what breaks His. I am serious; be careful and don't do it unless you really want eyes to see. I promise you, you will see things that you have never seen before and your spirit will not allow you not to act. There are so many needs in this world, there are so many broken people, broken lives...you will find countless ways to serve others, to make a difference in their lives. Most of these acts will be small to you and yet profound to the person who simply needed a push in a chair, a smile of encouragement, a word of belief or a helping hand. You have no idea the impact you will have on generations to come, perhaps on eternity itself, by simply having eyes to see.

So it is not hard at all to see (no pun intended!) the challenge I have for all of us coming today. Today I want to challenge all of us to have eyes to see and to serve those who have a need - please remember Friends, Jesus came to serve, not to be served. I also want to do something different this week. I want to respectfully ask you share your stories of having eyes to see and then acting in service to others. If you are receiving this "Happy Friday" via email, please reply to the email I sent to you and share your story. If you are reading the blog of this "Happy Friday" please submit your story as a comment. Next Friday I am going to post all of the stories as the "Happy Friday." Whether I get 1 or 100, I will make them next weeks "Happy Friday." Now, out of respect for everyone and their privacy, I will not identify you directly - I will just identify the author of each story by their initials. You see, the whole purpose of "What Will Your Influence Be...?" is to encourage intentional, positive influence. I want to give all of you the opportunity to be an intentional, positive influence in others lives and enable you to encourage them to do the same. Your story, your life, will be used to speak to the lives of others regardless of how small it might seem to you. See what happens when you ask for eyes to see? Now I have all of you working!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your precious family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and Happy Mother's Day to all the Mom's out there!

Kev

Perspective & Blessings

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that an awesome week is coming to a close for you!

Yesterday I had lunch with a really neat guy named Ryan. He is 30-years old and he and his wife have a 3-month old baby boy named Brady. He showed me pictures, talked about how he lifts his head, how Brady's trying to push himself up, etc. He loves being a Dad and he is very proud...I get it!

The conversation then took an interesting turn. Ryan started off telling me about the very special relationship he has with his Grandpa. He told me how much his Grandpa means to him, how the very first steps he had taken as a child were when his Grandpa had come into the house and Ryan heard his voice. You could literally see the love and affection that Ryan has for his Grandpa in his eyes, on his face. He then explained that his Grandpa, who is 87-years old, is dying of cancer. It is very important to Ryan that his Grandpa gets to meet his baby boy before he dies. With this, Ryan and his precious little family are flying to Oregon this weekend to go see his grandparents.

Ryan then shared how he is very worried about how Brady will do on the flight. He is worried that he is going to fuss and cry, that he is going to be "that" baby. As we continued to talk and the layers were peeled back Ryan revealed that he and his Bride used to be "those people" who give those new parents with the precious baby the dirty looks when the baby cries. Ahhh, I see. This then spun off an incredible conversation about perspective. Ryan talked about how he never knew he could love someone so much as he loves Brady; that he never knew that what everyone else thinks doesn't matter when something is wrong with Brady, that his only concern is to make sure his son is o.k.; that he never knew how hard it could be to get a baby to quite crying. Of course he never knew any of these things...he had never been a Dad before. His perspective had now changed, he saw things completely differently and he now understood the challenges those parents he had encountered on previous flights - the one's he gave dirty looks because the most precious thing in the world to them was crying - were facing. There was regret for the way he had treated others and fear that he would be treated the same way he had treated others.

Perspective...It really is interesting. What I really don't get is how come we all - generalization alert! I am going to be wrong at some level however you will get the point - feel the need to tell others what they should do, think, feel, believe, etc. You are you, I am me, they are them! We are ALL born with talents, gifts, abilities, faults & inadequacies. The sum of all these things make us the fearfully & wonderfully made people that we are, perfectly equipped - lacking nothing - for the purpose God created us. We are born and raised by people who also have talents, gifts, abilities, faults & inadequacies. They have things at first however that we don't have yet and those things are called experiences. Some of those experiences have been positive, successful and some have been painful, hurtful. The combination of who they are and the experiences they have had shape their perspective(s). They then begin to raise us to the very best of their ability, from their perspective. I could go off an a bigger tangent than I am already on and try to capture what all that means however let me attempt to sum it up this way; unless you were born that person, you have walked every single step of their lives, lived through the exact same experiences they have lived through, etc. you - me, we - don't have the perspective necessary to tell them what they should do, think, feel, believe, etc. You are you, I am me, they are them. I do want to throw this little tidbit in there; the Bible does say that we go through trials & tribulations so we can encourage others who go through the same thing. Please note that it says encourage, not instruct...there is a huge difference.

With perspective I would like to offer us all two challenges:
1. First and foremost let us recognize, realize, respect & live out that everyone has their own perspective. You don't have all the answers, I don't have all the answers, they don't have all the answers. I believe - my perspective - there is only One who has all the answers. All of us are living in a world that is broken and we are all trying to figure it out. Let us be encouragers, not instructors.

2. May I please encourage us all to have humble, teachable spirits? May I please encourage us to recognize, appreciate that we are all on a continuum of life, with different gifts, talents, abilities, faults, inadequacies, experiences? I would also like to encourage us to seek to understand instead of trying to be understood, to learn from each other, to give up the idea of trying to have all the answers, to be open to the idea that someone might know, have experienced something we don't know and to fully embrace life.

Now, there is another word I want to share with you on this beautiful Friday morning. The word is "blessings." This word has been on my mind all week...I have literally thought about this word and my personal countless blessings every single day. I want to encourage you to think about your blessings...and to really count them, to give thanks for them. Yes, there is a reason I chose to talk about perspective first! :)

Now, you might be sitting there thinking "Kev, you have no clue what my life is like! You have no idea the struggles, the trials, the hurt, the pain!" You are absolutely right Friend. I do not have your perspective. Here is what I do know; from someone's perspective you are blessed beyond measure and, if you will allow yourself to have a humble, teachable spirit, you have the opportunity this morning to recognize and truly give thanks for your blessings. I will start with easy to understand examples - if you can see, to the blind person you are blessed. If you can walk, to the lame you are blessed. If you have food in your home, to the starving and homeless, you are blessed. If you have a job that you don't really like, to the jobless you are blessed. If you have a car that you don't really like, to those who can't afford to buy a car you are blessed. If you have an imperfect spouse/partner - by the way, we are ALL imperfect!! - to the lonely, you are blessed. If you have a precious soul who calls you Dad or Mom, to those who long to have a child, you are blessed. See Friends, from my perspective, it is not necessarily about how good things/circumstances/people are but rather it is how we perceive them. I pray that we will all have eyes to see, to truly count, our blessings.

"Be thankful for what you have: you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." - Oprah Winfrey

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev