A Phone Call

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning! Man, it seems like I just wrote a Happy Friday...oh yeah, I did! :) Guess that's what happens when you get off schedule.

I am so blessed that God has placed some truly remarkable men in my life! I have this visual of one friend under each arm to help support one another - physically, mentally, spiritually, socially - through this life journey...Well, God has blessed me so richly that I swear I have enough men in my life to literally pick my up and carry me!

This week, a week absolutely jam packed with meetings, I received two phone calls. Because of the meetings I was in I was not able to answer either call. Both callers left a voicemail. The really cool thing? Neither of the callers wanted anything. They were both from some of the men I refer to - men who love me unconditionally, who have agreed to lock arms with me, to lean on me when their burdens are heavy and to allow me to lean on them when I sag. Both of the messages went something like this; "Hey Kev, just been thinking about you and wanted to check in and see how you are doing. Hope everything is going well for you and your family. Give me a call if you have time. I love you." We all tell each other that we love each other. Speaks to the heart in a different kind of way to have another man, unrelated by blood, speak to your heart in unconditional love. However this is not my point, simply a testimony, and we all know how I can go off on tangents so let me get to the point.

They were simple phone calls. Each one took my friends less than a minute to make...the cost to them was low. The impact on me was immeasurable! The truth is everything is going very well for my family and I. I feel God working in and through me. I didn't want or need anything from either one of these men and it still touched my heart deeply. I felt blessed, I felt loved and I was encouraged by simply hearing their voices.

Who is on your heart? Who could you pick up the phone and call, regardless of whether you get to speak to them or leave a voicemail? Chances are somebody just crossed your mind as you read this...please go call them right now. While it may seem like nothing to you, this act has the ability to bless, express love and encourage another...trust me, I lived it this week.

As an unsolicited guest testimonial to what I am talking about Tony Dungy - a great Christian man, husband, father, mentor, current NFL analyst, former Super Bowl Champion coach of the Indianapolis Colts - posted the following on Twitter 17 hours ago:

"Don't ever assume that someone doesn't need an encouraging word or your friendship, no matter what the person's status may be." - Tony Dungy

Your call! (Pun intended and yes, I embarrass my kids continually!)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful week, a safe & Happy 4th of July and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

A Call to Men

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Monday morning, that you had a great weekend and that you are ready for what will surely be a great work week!

Yeah, so it is Monday morning and I am just now getting to write Happy Friday... augh, I hate when that happens! In the past week I have been to Flagstaff & back, to Austin & back, I have driven to Colorado Springs...& back. It has really been a great week. I have had the opportunity to see and reconnect with family, to make new friends, to tour the Air Force Academy, to spend 13 hours in the car with my 17-year old son talking about life, hopes, dreams...I am indeed blessed! While all of this was going on however the message of Happy Friday did not depart far from my heart. This was one of those weeks where I had great clarity about what the Happy Friday message was to be. So though it is a few days late - my perspective...perhaps it is right on time! - here goes.

Preparing for my trip to Austin last Sunday night, and realizing that I was about to finish reading the book I was currently working through, I went in search of another book. When I saw The Resolution for Men my spirit told me I needed to reread this book. I hadn't read the book in a year and something within me told me I needed to go back, read it again and learn, stretch and grow. As I was reading Chapter 1, Why We Need Men of Resolution, on my flight to Austin my heart kept telling me over and over again, "Men need to hear this." So in obedience to my heart I am going to share several excerpts from this chapter. Again, all of this is from The Resolution for Men by Stephen & Alex Kendrick with Randy Alcorn. I will warn you; this will be neither short nor easy to read.

• ...where countless men are today. Disengaged and drifting. They have been given the position of leadership over their families and have been placed in the driver's seat. But over time, they have been lulled into a dream by their own passivity and the allures of a dark, seductive culture.
• God's Word commands husbands and fathers to lovingly lead their homes. As men, we are to walk in honor and integrity and fully embrace our responsibilities as shepherds over our families. We are called to model a loving, Christlike example for our wives and children.
• Therefore - because this is God's calling - it's no mystery that a godless culture would mock and constantly undermine fatherhood, attacking and inverting what God designs and values. Men are being told they don't have the permission or responsibility to lead. But the culture is not your authority, God is.
• Regardless of what she [your wife] does, God has intentionally placed you in the driver's seat and wants you to lead. You need her deeply; but leading is your God-ordained responsibility, not hers.
• No man and no family is a lost cause when God gets involved.
• ...the success or failure of fatherhood is the key issue of our generation. Leadership determines direction.
• Regardless of age, everyone wants a good answer to the question, "What does my dad really think about me?" Our hearts intrinsically long for his approval.
• But a lot of fathers don't realize their vital role, and their kids are destined to suffer for it. If you boil down many of the issues with today's detached, passive, or absentee dads, you discover this; fathers have lost their sense of purpose.
• Society is guiding boys to remain boys as long as possible - extending childhood into their thirties - while forcing girls to become women long before they are ready.
• Instead of growing up, getting married, and courageously raising up the next generation, millions of young men are staying single, remaining emotionally and directionally dependent on their mothers while becoming addicted to entertainment, pornography, and video games. They want the privileges and rewards of manhood but only the responsibilities and moral requirements of boys.
• When a father disconnects, leaves, or dies too soon, so does a part of his child's heart. At the point a child gets detached from his or her father, it creates a massive vacuum of unmet needs in all the key areas for which the father is responsible.
• The physical absence of fathers is now considered the most significant family and social problem facing America. (Glenn T. Stanton, FocusFamilyInsight Global Development Family Research memo, June 19, 2009.)
• The research is staggering. Prisoners, drug users, dropouts, runaways, and rapists all share something in common. The overwhelming majority of them come from homes without a father. Fatherless homes produce more than half of all youth suicides, as well as the majority of kids with behavior disorders. Kids are twenty times more likely to end up in prison if their dad is not involved in their lives. (Bryan Davis, "Father Facts," All Pro Dad, http://www.allprodad.com/playbook/viewarticle.php?art=375)
• Fatherlessness also affects kids' physical health. Those living without their dads have a much higher rate of asthma, headaches, anxiety, depression, and behavior problems. They are significantly more likely to use drugs and become suicidal. ("Turning the Corner on Father Absence in Black American," Morehouse Research Institute and Institute for American Values, The Medical Institute for Sexual Health Update, Fall 1999, Vol. 7, Number 3.)
• It makes sense, then, why the Scripture says God has a special place in His heart for two specific groups of people: fatherless children and widows. In James 1:27, the Bible describes, "pure and undefiled religion" in terms of visiting and showing compassion to these individuals in their "distress." What do fatherless children and widows have in common? The most important man in the leadership role of their lives is gone.
• There are multiple factors undermining fatherhood. Here are some of the most influential.
• Divorce. Illegitimate births and divorce are the two greatest factors that steal kids away from their fathers. Couples in previous generations were more likely to stay together for the sake of the kids. But this generation has been increasingly convinced that kids are better off if their unhappy parents get divorced. The stats reveal that this is not true. The absolute best thing for kids is to see their parents humble themselves, repent of their selfishness, forgive one another, and recommit to their marriage. The convenience of no-fault divorce has come at an extremely high price. And millions of innocent kids are forced to pay that price every year.
• Work. Before the industrial revolution, fathers primarily worked at home with their children often working alongside them, giving dads natural opportunities for sharing their faith and their values with the next generation. But in the 1800's, factory work took men away from home, leaving kids alone with mom and diminishing the influence of fathers. When dad finally did get home, he was too tired to engage, and his family got the leftovers of his attention and energy. Today, the problem continues. If a man doesn't set boundaries and learn to say "no," his work priorities will constantly pull him away from his wife and children whose hearts are reaching for him.
• Entertainment. Men today spend more time watching TV or surfing the Internet than in meaningful conversation with their children. If his children are with dad while he's being entertained, then the television becomes their influence instead. And it is a lousy father.
• Anti-fatherhood bias in media. When America was guided more by a Judeo-Christian ethic, fathers in television shows and movies were usually depicted as honorable and heroic. In the 1950's and 60's, programs like Father Knows Best, The Andy Griffith Show, My Three Sons, and Leave It to Beaver showed strong, intelligent, responsible fathers. In contrast, dads on TV today are incompetent and constantly outwitted by their wives and disrespectful kids. Their perversion and passivity subtly redefine what's normal for fathers and can creep into the expectations we have of ourselves.
• The Church. It hurts to include this item, but too often pastors have gone silent when it comes to teaching men what God's Word says about their roles and responsibilities. At the same time many church programs separate families to the point that kids never see their fathers leading, reading their Bibles, worshipping, or praying because they're not with them when they do.
• ...men are up against a society that wants to take them down. Which shouldn't surprise us. The Devil will never stop attacking what God prioritizes. And just like on a battlefield, the enemy always tries to take out the leader.
• All fatherhood comes from Him (Ephesians 3:14 - 15). Every human father is called to be a daily, physical representation of God to his children, to introduce Him to the next generation. When a child looks at his earthly father, he should be able to see these qualities of God: a loving Provider; a strong Protector; a truthful Leader; a respectable Authority; an intimate Friend.
• This affects how a child thinks. "If my earthly father loves and cares for me, then my heavenly Father loves and cares for me. If my father means what he says, then God means what He says. If my father would die for me, God would die for me."
• ...it is part of children's human nature to judge what they cannot see in God in light of what they can see in us.
• How well are you representing your heavenly Father? To your son? To your daughter? That is your priceless purpose.
• Both the Scriptures and statistics clearly communicate that there is no more influential person in the life of a child than his or her father. Whereas moms are priceless, irreplaceable, and needed beyond measure, they were never designed to be men or to fill the role of a dad. when the Bible states that "the glory of children is their father" (Proverbs 17:6 NKJV), it is revealing an important dynamic of how God has wired the hearts and minds of children.
• They learn their identity from you. When your kids are young, they don't know who they are, what is right or wrong, or who God is. They don't know how to live life. But kids naturally go to their dads for answers to their biggest questions: Who is God? Who am I? Am I loved? Am I a success? Do I have what it takes? What is my purpose in life? And if dads don't teach their kids the truth about these things, then the world will teach them lies.
• They learn their values from you. Kids watch their dads to find what's important. It's a dad's job to keep his children from having to learn the lessons of life the hard way. A father's wise words and actions constantly reinforce the higher priorities and deeper truths of life.
• They learn their worth from you. When a child has a dad who says, "I love you, I'm proud of you, and I'm gong to stand with you and always be there for you," it changes the life of that child forever. Sons who have their dads in their lives do significantly better in school, have better social skills and self-esteem, and are more likely to say no to criminal behaviour. ("The Consequences of Fatherlessness," Courtesy of the National Center for Fathering, http://www.fathers.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=391) Similarly, when a daughter looks into the mirror, she needs to hear her father's voice in her heart reminding her that she is beautiful and loved. As a result, girls with strong dads are much more likely to feel secure - and are much less likely to have eating disorders and identity issues or to become sexually active in their teen years (Josh McDowell, The Father Connection (Nashville: B&H Publishing Group, 1996), 4.).
• We need to rediscover God's original intention of what are homes are supposed to be like. Families should be havens of love and enjoyment. Homes should be places of peace and purpose. But great homes don't just happen. They are gardens that need to be intentionally cultivated and guarded. A man must let truth, love and wise discipline become constant ingredients to his fathering. He should carefully nurture his wife, his children, and his own attitude so that his home is a place where his marriage and the next generation can grow and thrive.
• Our generation desperately needs courageous men to step up. We need men who will not be swayed by the culture or afraid of the criticism. We need men who are resolved to lead their families no matter what. We need men to teach sexual purity to their sons and daughters so that more children won't enter the world without married parents. We need men who stick to their marriage vows and cry out for God's help to love their wives rather than giving up during difficult times.
• We need men who refuse to sacrifice their families for the sake of a promotion at work. Men who refuse to let entertainment eat up all their time and deaden their consciences. Men who will speak against laws and philosophies that are destroying families. Men who will forgive their dads, break the chains of the past, and set new standards. Men who will pray for their pastors and for revival in their churches and make decisions that will strengthen the next generation. We need to be these men. And we need on another!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful week and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Ramblings

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day!

Today I want to share a few thoughts, ideas, reflections - perhaps testimonies - with you.

• I love being a husband. It is an honor, a privilege to be married to my Beautiful Bride. I believe the greatest calling I have in life is to love her, to honor her, to lead her to protect her and to provide for her. From what I understand in reading my Bible, God is going to some day hold me accountable for how well I have done these things...this inspires me. I pray every day that He will lead me, lead her and lead my 3 Tender Warriors through me.

         I am writing this Happy Friday in the middle of the afternoon as I have been spending
         the day with my Beautiful Bride. We are in Flagstaff with our oldest son for a football
         camp and 7 on 7 passing tournament. After dropping him off at camp this morning we
         walked around downtown holding hands, going in all the shops, we went out to lunch.
         Ever since I was 17-years old all I have wanted is to be with her. I enjoy talking,
         laughing, just being together. She completes me, when we are together - physically
         and in our hearts - everything feels right in the world. I am blessed.

• I love being a Dad. It is an honor, a privilege to be the father of my sons. I believe the second highest calling in my life is to love them, to honor them, to lead them, to guide them, to protect them and to provide for them. Just as with my Beautiful Bride I believe I will have to give an account some day to God for how well I did these things. Again, this inspires me. I am also very mindful that how well I do these things will impact their wives, their children, their children's children...yes, my actions will reverberate into lives, into a time and place I will never see.

         Last Friday night the Haslam 5 went to the Diamondbacks baseball game. My 8-year
         old wanted to sit right by me the entire time. We snuggled through the game, through
         the fireworks after the game...it was awesome. I don't know exactly what was on his
         heart however it was very clear he wanted his Dad to know he loves him, that he just
         genuinely wanted to be with him. Do you have any idea how powerfully this spoke to
         my heart?! Man am I blessed! He is not with us in Flagstaff. He wanted to stay with
         Grandma & Grandpa so he could go to Vacation Bible School...again he teaches me.

         My 13-year old was in a baseball tournament last Saturday & Sunday. He played his
         rear-end off. I don't mean that every at bat he got a hit, that he made every play in the
         field...nobody does. What I am talking about is his attitude, his effort, his desire to be
         the best teammate he can be. As I told him after the tournament; your words, your
         actions and your attitude are preaching a sermon to everyone who watches you. What
         kind of sermon are you preaching? He preached a good one, a really good one, last
         weekend. And can I please tell you something that challenges me about this kid? He
         sees good in EVERYONE. I can't tell you the number of times - true confessions here,
         please give grace - where I will say something about how poorly someone had played
         and he will point out something good that they did...every time! He too teaches me.

         My 17-year old went to camp this morning. I took him and dropped him off. After we
         had gotten him registered I asked him if he wanted me to stay or go. He said,
         "You can stay if you want." I am reminded in my spirit that though he is getting older,
         though he will soon leave home, my work as his Dad will not end until I have breathed
         my last breath. Sure, the nature, the scope will change - he must grow and become a
         man, he must leave our home, start his own family, be responsible for his own words
         and actions, etc. - there will always be a responsibility to love, to lead, to guide, to
         protect. I think the challenge is much more mine than his. He is becoming a great
         man, I can see the transformation before my eyes. The challenge is to love
         unconditionally (always), to lead (as/when appropriate), to guide (as/when appropriate)
         and to protect (as/when appropriate). The loving never changes...the leading, guiding
         and protecting is ever evolving as he grows. I pray every day that God will lead me,
         lead him through me, that I will step up when I should and that I would stay out when I
         should. I will need to pray this prayer every single day the rest of my life. And as his
         brothers grow into manhood, I will pray the same prayer for me, for them.

I have one last quick thought...time. Time is the most valuable resource we have. When we give someone or something our time we are giving them a great gift for we shall never get that time back again. I want to encourage all of us to really think about, to ponder this today. Are we spending our time as we should? Are the things that we are giving our most valuable resource to things that really matter?

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish you precious families. Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's!

Kev

Finding Yourself

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day, that your week has been blessed and that you are excited for an awesome weekend! For the Haslam's this weekend is going to be all about baseball...starting with a Diamondbacks game tonight. Truly looking forward to a night at the ballpark with my Beautiful Bride and 3 Tender Warriors!

On this beautiful Friday morning I want to share a few quotes, a link, some thoughts and of course, a challenge! :) Before I go any further however I want to encourage you, if nothing else, please watch this video in the next couple of days. It is a little less than 20 minutes however getting the message directly from Simon Sinek will be much better than anything I could ever hope to convey in this message.

Simon Sinek has a simple but powerful model for inspirational leadership all starting with a golden circle and the question "Why?" His examples include Apple, Martin Luther King, and the Wright brothers ... (Filmed at TEDxPugetSound.)

http://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action.html

O.K., for those of you who are still with me, I want to share a few excerpts from Simon's book, Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action.

• WHAT: Every single company and organization [person] on the planet knows WHAT they do. WHATs are easy to identify.
• HOW: Some companies and people know HOW they do WHAT they do. HOWs are often given to explain how something is different or better.
• WHY: Very few people or companies can clearly articulate WHY they do WHAT they do. When I say WHY, I don't mean to make money - that's a result. By WHY I mean what is your purpose, cause or belief? WHY does your company [WHY do you] exist? WHY do you get out of bed every morning? And WHY should anyone care?
• Authenticity cannot be achieved without clarity of WHY.
• Trust is not a checklist. Fulfilling all your responsibilities does not create trust. Trust is a feeling, not a rational experience. We trust some people and companies even when things go wrong, and we don't trust others even though everything might have gone exactly as it should have. A completed checklist does not guarantee trust. Trust begins to emerge when we have a sense that another person or organization is driven by things other than their own self-gain.
• Great leadership is not about flexing and intimidation; great leaders lead with WHY. They embody a sense of purpose that inspires those around them.
• Regardless of WHAT we do in our lives, our WHY - our purpose, cause or belief - never changes. If our Golden Circle is in balance, WHAT we do is simply the tangible way we find to breathe life into that cause.

You see that last one right there? Yeah, that was very, very profound to me. Trying to figure out careers, life purposes, etc. I was always trying to figure out WHAT I wanted to do. I have said hundreds, probably thousands of times that I don't really care what I do, I don't care about titles, etc. I just want to go to work, do the very best I can, make a difference in others lives, come home and be with my family. Boring perhaps, however to me this is the ultimate. What that last statement clarified for me was that I in fact do know my WHY. I was causing myself stress because I was trying to define the WHAT when in reality, the WHAT is irrelevant. My WHY is my purpose whether I breathe life into it as a coach, athletic administrator, development officer, etc.

I believe to my core that every single life has value, meaning & purpose. As I look back over my life I have spent the vast majority of my time - including each Friday morning - doing everything I can to encourage, empower and equip every person I come into contact with to become the best they are capable of becoming. To find, to embrace and to relentlessly pursue the greatness that is within them. I have seen brokenness, pain, fear, regret, sorrow, shame. I have been hurt, I have been loved, I have experienced great victory and I have experienced great defeat. Regardless of the person or circumstance I have embraced each day as a new beginning, an opportunity to come closer to being all that God has created me to become, an opportunity to encourage, empower and equip those I am blessed to cross paths with that day. WHY? Because I believe to my core that every single life has value, meaning & purpose - including mine and yours!

So my special Friends, my challenge to you this morning, if you don't already know it, please take some time to find your WHY? Answer the questions asked by Simon; What is your purpose, cause or belief? WHY do you get out of bed every morning? WHY should anyone care? Having clarity of your WHY will not insure success, it will not guarantee that there will not be problems in your life. No, it is much bigger than that. Having clarity of your WHY will enable you to live an authentic life - peace is found in authenticity...think about it - and to become the best you are capable of becoming.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kevin