I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day and that you have had a great week. It's been the first week of school for us...always such an exciting time! New shoes, new clothes, new backpacks, a new beginning...so exciting! It is such a privilege to see the world through the eyes of a Senior (what?!?!), an 8th grader and a 3rd grader!
I am pretty fired up this morning. May I please say - regardless of what is tolerated, regardless of what society says, regardless of what the latest research from somewhere says - Dads matter.
How did we get here? How did we get to a place where we excuse men not being men - responsible, accountable - as "boys being boys?" How, why did it become funny or acceptable for men to be irresponsible, to not take care of their families, to run from woman to woman, from place to place, ignoring their children, not fulfilling their commitments, their obligations? I truly believe that men failing to be men - responsible, accountable men, husbands & fathers - is the root cause of many of the problems we have in society today. In any partnership when one partner fails to uphold their duties, their responsibilities, when they don't carry their share of the load, the other partner has to pick up the slack. We aren't talking about menial tasks like yard work, house work, etc. here Friends. These things could actually go undone and in reality there would be no impact other than having to deal with a mess. A child is not something that can go "undone." They are living, they are learning, they are growing...whether Dad is there or not. Their lives are being influenced, their character shaped, they are experiencing success & failure, they need protection, they need guidance...whether Dad is there or not. Why do far to many men not get this? Why do far to many men think it is o.k. to let Mom do everything - like it is just her responsibility?
We can't walk away from a person - wife or child - and expect there to be no consequence for that decision - yes, it is a decision. Many women, far to many women, have had to pick up the pieces after a man has left and do everything. They have performed heroically, done the very best they could do, raised amazing men & women. In spite of the great failure of some man they got it done. But that is not the way it is supposed to work - it is not fair to the woman and it is not fair to the child...Dads matter.
What is normal or acceptable? I would argue that what we deem as normal or acceptable is what we accept as normal or acceptable. When did we as a society accept the fact that men could walk away from their wives, walk away from their children? How come we say this is o.k., it doesn't surprise us? Statistics show that nearly 50% of children grow up without both parents in the home. Guess who is missing? In the overwhelming majority of homes it isn't Mom!
This morning I would like to stand up and say a few things to men:
- It is not o.k. to walk away from your wife..yes, it can be tough sometimes. It is tough to live with you sometimes. Man up and honor your commitment!
- It is not o.k. to mistreat, neglect, etc. your wife...it isn't all about you! Little boys have to have their way, fight over their toys, etc. Men do not. If you have the privilege of a precious soul calling you "husband" you have the responsibility of loving, caring for, providing for and protecting her.
- It is not o.k. to walk away from, mistreat, ignore, etc. your children...they are your responsibility! They are not their Moms responsibility, societies responsibility...they are your responsibility!
- Your wife, your child's life is not about you...it is about them growing to become all they were created to become. If you are called "husband" or "Dad" you have the honor, the privilege of helping them pursue their goals & dreams. Just as you have hopes, goals & dreams so do they. Help them find them, achieve them.
- Dads matter. While Mom will pick up the pieces and do the very best they can if you leave - sadly they have been doing this for years! - you matter. Kids need their Dads. They need to know that their Dad loves them unconditionally, that he is there for them - every day, good & bad, that he will provide for their needs, that he will protect them. Girls learn from their Dads how they should expect men to treat them, what a man, a husband, a father looks like. Boys learn how to be men, husbands & fathers from their Dads. Do I need to make the point about Dads mattering? When will the cycle be broken? When will men rise up, be the men, husbands and fathers that they were created to become? What we are doing is clearly not working!!! Dads matter!
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
No comments:
Post a Comment