The Needs of Sons & Daughters

Happy Friday Friends!
 
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day! What an awesome day! It is the last Friday of summer vacation for the kids so I have taken the day off to be with them. I am looking forward to a wonderful day - and weekend - with them and my Beautiful Bride!

Today I want to share what amounts to a guest blogger. Earlier this week I found a listing of the needs sons and daughters have from their fathers on the website for All Pro Dad -  www.allprodad.com. My spirit compelled me to share these lists with all of you here today on this Friday morning.

To Dads - somebody is influencing the lives of our sons and daughters...is it us? They are our responsibility! No matter where you are on your life journey - whether you are an All Pro Dad or you are a scrub - it can change today, you can change today. While neither you nor I can change the past, we can change what happens next. I truly hope you will read these lists, let the words speak to your heart and that you will respond accordingly. If you have the honor, the privilege of being a Dad, there is a precious spirit that is counting on you and who desparately needs you.

To Others - perhaps you know a Dad who needs to read these words...please share them. Please do not share them in a spirit of judgement or condemnation but rather in a spirit of love, mercy & grace. We all fail, we all fall short...God changes hearts, you and I won't. Play the small part that God asks you to play - if a name popped into your head of someone who needs to read these words follow through - and then allow God to do the rest.

Please don't hestitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families.

Kev

7 Things a Son Needs from His Father

As a boy grows up, there will be many people who influence him and his development into adulthood. As a father, you want to be the main influence in this area. You are, and should be, his most important role model. Below are 7 things to help you be the best role model you can be in your son’s life.

1. He needs you to love his mother. When you love your wife, or the mother of your son, you are showing him how to treat his mother, his sisters, and all the women he’ll meet in his life. This will set the foundation for the relationships he will have later in his life.

2. He needs to see you fail, not just succeed. The best teacher is failure. The best type of failure to learn from is someone else’s. When your son sees you fail, and handle the failure well, he sees that it is okay to make mistakes and that mistakes can be great teachers. A boy who is not afraid of making mistakes will grow into a man positioned to accept and conquer great challenges.

3. He needs your servant leadership. You may or may not be the boss at work. You may or may not be the pastor or minister at church. You may or not be a leader in your community. But you are the leader of your family. Your son needs to see true leadership in your home. He needs to see you leading by serving. When he sees you leading by serving, he will better understand leadership and be able to more effectively lead versus follow his peers. As he grows, he will better lead his family, lead at work, lead at church, and lead in his community.

4. He needs you to be present. As you fulfill all the different roles you have, you may be pulled in multiple directions. He needs you to be present in his education, in his social life, in all areas of his life. Some areas are not intended for mom only, or for his friends only. Your presence in all areas will give him the support he needs.

5. He needs your love regardless of his choices.You may be the biggest sports junkie not living in Bristol, CT (where ESPN headquarters are located). And your son may not be able to kick a ball if you placed it on his toe, nor care that he can’t. No matter what choices your son makes, he needs you to love him even if they are different than yours. Even when they are wrong choices. Your love and guidance will open the door to trust and acceptance that build your relationship. And it will build his self-esteem.

6. He needs you to affirm him.“I love you, son.” “I’m proud of you, son.” “You are amazing, son.” “I know you can do it, son.” “That was an amazing play you made!” “You are a hard worker.” “You messed up, but I know you’ll bounce back.” Your son needs your encouragement. He needs to hear the words that let him know you love having him as a son.

7. He needs you to discipline him in love.When you discipline your son, you set boundaries and expectations. He is going to make mistakes just like you did as a kid and just like you do now. But he also needs to know that his actions have consequences. Disciplining him in love will teach him to consider the consequences his actions will have. This will prepare him to think and evaluate the choices he makes both now and in the future.

© 2013 All Pro Dad. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.

7 Things a Daughter Needs from Her Father

As a girl grows up, men will come in and out of her life, but the one man who will always be there is her father. A father plays a vital role in his daughter’s journey to adulthood, and below are seven things that can help a father give her his best.

1. She needs you to be involved.
A daughter needs her father to be actively interested in her life. “Actively interested” does not refer to the second-long conversation that sometimes happens between a father and daughter when he asks how her day went and she replies with one word. A father should participate in his daughter’s hobbies and activities by displaying interest. For example, if she is interested in collecting coins, take her to coin shows. Use the Internet to learn about rare coins and talk about them. Is your daughter talented in the any sports, such as volleyball? Whether she wants to play or just enjoys watching the games, become an enthusiastic fan and supporter! Show your daughter that you are interested in her life by learning more about it and trying to become a part of it.

2. She needs you to demonstrate a healthy marriage.
The first relationship a daughter experiences is the one between her mother and father. If her father disrespects his wife with physical or emotional abuse, a daughter might come to believe that is the expected relationship with a husband. However, a father that displays physical affection, respect, and a true partnership with his wife provides an incredible example that his daughter will want to mirror in her own life.

3. She needs you to support her.
Even though a father may not always agree with his daughter, she needs to know you will support her. When a father fully and wholeheartedly supports his daughter, she will develop strong self-esteem and a positive self-image. This doesn’t mean that you always have to agree with her, but show her that while you might not agree with a choice she is making, you will always believe in her as a person and have confidence in her abilities.

4. She needs to trust you as a confidante.
When your daughter does come to you and discusses personal issues and problems, she needs to know that you will treat them with respect and confidence. They shouldn’t become dinner-table conversation with the rest of the family.

5. She needs your unconditional love.
Just as our Father in Heaven demonstrates unconditional love, fathers on earth need to display this as well. Unconditional love requires that a daughter knows no matter how badly she messes up, her father will be there, not to ridicule and demean but to forgive.

6. She needs a strong spiritual leader.
A father should be the spiritual head of a household and should take charge of his children’s religious education. Pray with your daughter! Don’t be shy about bringing the Lord into your conversations with her.

7. She needs a positive role model.
Many daughters today lack a positive male role model in their life. A father is the first man in a girl’s life that she will intimately know. Her father sets the standard for all other men in her life, and a positive role model will help her choose a good husband in the future. Take a moment for some self-reflection. Are there any habits you need to break? Are there some areas of your own life that could use a “spiritual overhaul” and prayer? When your daughter sees that you are willing to examine your own life and make changes when necessary, you provide the best example she could ever have of accepting responsibility for her actions.

© 2012 All Pro Dad. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks.