What You Say & Do...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great Sunday! Geez, two weeks in a row writing Happy Friday on a Sunday...might have to look into changing the name!

The things we say & do, as well as the things we don't say or don't do, matter...greatly! In the past week I have been deeply touched by two different stories:

1. There is a special little boy named Colin who lives in southwest Michigan. The story I first heard was that when his Mom talked to him about having a party for his birthday he encouraged her not to do so because nobody would come. In reading articles about him I learn he has a disorder similar to Asperger's syndrome. His Mom, Jennifer, decided to throw Colin a surprise birthday party on Facebook - recruiting friends to generate messages for him and posting a mailing address in case people wanted to send cards. Here is how Jennifer explained her son, in part of her message, in her original Facebook post:

"I am Colin's mom, I created this page for my amazing, wonderful, challenging son who is about to turn 11 on March 9th. Because of Colin's disabilities, social skills are not easy for him, and he often acts out in school, and the other kids don't like him. So when I asked him if he wanted a party for his birthday, he said there wasn't a point because he has no friends. He eats lunch alone in the office everyday because no one will let him sit with them, and rather than force someone to be unhappy with his presence, he sits alone in the office."

The outpouring of love for this little boy because of his Mom's post is awesome. You can read more about him and his Mom's efforts on the internet. I simply Googled, "Colin, little boy with aspergers" and several articles popped up.

A couple of things really bothered me when I first heard this story. First, as a Dad, I can't imagine looking into the eyes of any of my sons and having them ask me not to have a party for them because nobody would come, telling me they don't have any friends. My heart breaks at the thought and it breaks knowing that this is the reality for Colin and his Mom. Perhaps this is in part why there has been such an outpouring of love and support for Colin...because none of us would ever want that to be our son or our daughter. And sadly for someone, for way to many someone's, this is their reality.

The second part that just gnaws at my heart is "why?" The answer is that Colin is different, he doesn't think, act or behave "normal." We are all different and I challenge you to define normal! I promise you that your normal is not everyone else's normal! And because of this we can't recognize, value & appreciate another human being?!?! Because they are different?!?!

You and I have so much power Friends, we can make such a difference in lives all around us. We can look into the eyes of another person - even if they don't think, act or behave like us - and in so doing acknowledge their value. We can smile and say hi - and in so doing letting them know that we care about them. If we are feeling really brave we can even spend a little time with them, encouraging them and in the process empowering them to be all that they were created to become, even if they don't think, act or behave like us. Yes Friends, what you and I say & do, the things we don't say & don't do, matter. They matter greatly. They are even recognized by a little boy who does not think, act or behave "normal"...but he knows he doesn't have any friends.

And since I am on this little rant of mine, may I please continue for a moment longer? May I propose that we stop calling kids with Autism, Asperger's or any other disorder "special needs?" Having had the privilege of being around many of them in the past year at my Beautiful Bride's work, I can assure you they are not the one's with "special needs." They are simply "Special." They love like most of us are unwilling, they try like most of us rarely dare and at the end of the day they are a person, just like you and me, with feelings that get hurt & frustrations that overwhelm them. No, they are not the one's with "special needs." They are the one's that are special. It is us, the "normal" one's, that have the special needs. We need to learn the unconditional love the special one's demonstrate, we need to learn to try like the special one's try, not caring about whether or not we look foolish in doing so and at the end of the day we need to accept who we are, who we were created to be...just as the special one's do.

2. Please click on this link and go watch this video: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/31/olivet-middle-school-football-play_n_4182924.html

The things we say  & do matter greatly...What Will Your Influence Be...?

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful week and please cherish your precious families.

Kev