25 Years

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you had a wonderful week!

This week was a huge week for my Beautiful Bride and I; on Tuesday we celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary. Four days later and I am still catching myself pausing, saying "Wow!" It is not because of the actual day itself - it was spent like any couple with 3 boys would spend it...I was at Gehrig's baseball scrimmage, she was at Landry's baseball practice - but rather the reflection on what God has done in and through us, how much we have grown, the thought of so many memories - both the good times and the bad times and a great appreciation of this incredible woman who I am honored to call my wife.

Kath and I met in high school when she was a sophomore and I was a junior. Our first date was Homecoming my senior, her junior year. We officially became boyfriend & girlfriend on October 22, 1984. From the very beginning I always wanted to be with her. My high school buddies would give me a hard time about not wanting to hang out with them because all I wanted to do was be with this girl with these amazingly beautiful eyes. Even when I would give in and go out with my buddies I would find myself late at night tapping on the screen to her bedroom window, waking her up, talking to her for a few minutes and telling her goodnight. It always felt good to talk to her, to hear her sweet, sleepy voice.

Kath and I have literally grown up together. Remember all those stupid things you did when you were 16, 17, 18-years old? Yeah, unfortunately we did those stupid things too. There was a period of about 8 months - still to this day the darkest time of my life - when we broke up. God brought us back together, it was very clear that it could only be God...a fact I stated during my speech on our wedding night.

When we got married I had no clue - absolutely no clue! - what it meant to be a husband. While I certainly loved Kath and liked all the benefits of being married, I did not have any understanding of my responsibilities as a husband. I was a young, immature kid and unfortunately, I acted that way. The truth of the matter is I don't think I fully understood what it meant to be a husband - that does not mean I live it out perfectly every day though I do strive to do so - until about 8 or 9 years ago. Along the way I was learning, I was growing but full understanding, appreciating and accepting really didn't occur until then.

I say this all the time and I mean it to the depths of my soul - it is an honor & privilege to be Kathy's husband. I now fully understand that it is my responsibility to love her unconditionally, honor her at all times, to protect her in all ways, to provide for all her needs, to help her find the greatness that is within her and to help her become the best that she is capable of becoming, to lead her and this beautiful family we have created together at all times and in all ways. I have learned that it is my role to sacrifice for her - to put her wants, needs, fears, concerns above my own. I wish I could tell you I have always found these things easy to do however that would be dishonest. I can tell you that I am inspired every day to lead this precious family and I know that I am incapable of doing this in my own knowledge, wisdom, strength and courage. Accordingly I meet with God every day and ask Him to lead my life, to lead them through me and to be the Lord of our home, of our lives.

There are a couple of things that I have learned that I would like to share.
1. To love is a choice. Kath and I have both given each other more than enough reasons, excuses to not love each other. Thankfully we have both chosen to look past those reasons and to love one another any ways. As I reflect back there have been times when she has stopped loving me but I carried the love for us and times when she has done the same. We got to a point, probably 10, 11 years ago when talking about getting out of the marriage, even uttering the word "divorce" was not an option. We committed that we would fight for this marriage no matter what, that we would love one another even when we are unlovable. Getting out, having other options was not an option. We then chose to love one another each and every day...even on the bad days.

2. We can choose not to be offended. People say things all the time like "you two are perfect" or "you always get along." Seriously?!?! I wish - no, wait, I don't wish...If you only knew some of the dumb, stupid, hurtful things we have said and done to one another. Just crazy, stupid, immature, it's all about me, stuff. But here is the thing, we can choose not to be offended. Because Kath has a bad day and is grumpy, it does not change who she is. Her failing moment does not make her a failure. Now, I can grab ahold of that moment, bring it up time and time again but for what? We will sometimes look at each other and say, "what are we fighting for?" Not "why are we in a fight?" but "what are we trying to accomplish?" I have found that it is in the moments when I am fighting for me, for my rights, for my wants, etc. that the most damage is done. When I stop, shut up and think about what is best for my Bride, my family...now we fight together for us. This too is a choice. The choice to forgive which, in my opinion, is the choice to give life.

I am awed by my Beautiful Bride! I do look at her and wonder how did I ever get so lucky to have such a beautiful woman - on the inside and out - fall in love with me? I still get that giddy, excited feeling when she will show up someplace where I do not expect to see her. Everything feels right in the world when she slides her hand into mine or when she will gently wrap her hand around my arm as we walk through the store. I am amazed that she has never given up on me though I have given her countless opportunities to do so. The sweet Spirit that resides inside that precious body speaks to me and teaches me things continually...gently instructing me, encouraging me to be the man God created me to be.

Tonight we will go out to dinner to celebrate our 25th Anniversary. The dinner will last a long time as we will sit for a few hours, reflecting and giving thanks for the life we have lived, for what God has done for us, in us and through us over these past 25 years. When we leave we will hold hands as we walk to the car, everything will feel right in the world - I will have my Sweet Girl by my side, just as she has been, where I have always wanted her to be, since 1984.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, an awesome weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev