Be Alive

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning and that you have had a great week!

This morning I want to share a few things that I came across this week.

“For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are that you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.” - Andy Rooney

 

How many of us live our live our lives this way? When this or that happens, then I will be happy. If I lived in this or that place, if I had this or that job...then I would be happy. If I could just find this or that person, if the person that I have in my life would just do this or that...then I would be happy. Ever thought, heard or shared these types of things? Most of us have. It has been called "Destination Disease." One of many problems with this is that the destination always changes.

 

The reality is that true joy, true happiness is found in the journey, in the day to day living, the day to day interactions and the countless opportunities that present themselves to us each and every day. To find peace and contentment in our situation(s) and at the same time be willing to strive for the greatness that lies within each and every one of us...this would truly be a wonderful life. Ironically most of us want to change each and every situation and remain exactly what we are - illogical and yet where many, perhaps most, find themselves.

 

"Regardless of WHAT we do in our lives, our WHY - our driving purpose, cause or belief - never changes. If our Golden Circle [why, what and then how we live] is in balance, WHAT we do is simply the tangible way we find to breathe life into that cause." - Simon Sinek

 

Most of us, especially men, define ourselves by what we do...the jobs we have. A job is a job - you are a fearfully and wonderfully created person. You are perfectly equipped for great purposes. Your job - if you are walking in balance - is just how you fulfill that purpose.

 

Here is the first thing I would like to challenge you to resolve in your own Spirit; what is your purpose, cause or belief? What are you passionate about? What, when you think about it, stirs your Spirit? Answer this question, really drill down and you will find your beautiful "why." And guess what happens when you find your "why?" You will come alive in ways that you never thought, hoped, imagined or dreamed. Chances are, at least for the short-term, you will still have the same job however the way you see things, the way you act, the passion you bring to each day will be completely different.

 

"Many of us sabotage success by wrongly telling ourselves we aren't good enough, worthy or capable. We're surrounded by potential world changers, too afraid of the task because it means being authentic, speaking truths hard to hear, or being criticized. Most importantly, many of us are afraid that being the light makes others' lives go dark. We feel guilty for becoming the best version of ourselves. The truth is, it's only by being the light that our existence serves others. When we grow or achieve our goals, we empower others to do the same." - Torrie Patillo 

 

So beautifully stated! Be the world changer you were created to be! Don't get to the end of this day, the end of your life with others saying, "He/she had so much potential." What a tragedy that would be. Be the authentic you that you were created to be. Speak truth. Criticism is going to rain down on all of us no matter what we do...let us simply make sure that it is not our own Spirit that is criticizing us. If we will please that - our own heart, our own Spirit - peace will flow through us.

 

Yes, yes, yes! Let your light shine! The truth of the matter Friend is that you were placed on this earth to fulfill a purpose. We, all of us, we need you to pursue your purpose, to the very best of your ability, each and every day. When you do so you empower us, all the rest of us, to do the same!

 

O.K., I just have to share a little "Landry-ism" with you this morning to put a smile on your face as I end this Happy Friday. Landry is my 8-year old son. We have a duck that has been taking baths and swimming in our pool. A really cute little brown duck. I am the only one of the Haslam family to have seen our little friend so far. Landry and I have waited and looked for this little guy for the last two days. As we were waiting yesterday morning I said, "Where is the duck?" Landry, with all the boldness and confidence of an 8-year old, looked me dead in the eye and said, "Maybe he already flew West for the winter." :)

 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families!

 

Kev

Some Choices

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning! Additionally, I sincerely hope and trust this has been a great week for you and your family.

I have a couple of thoughts I want to share with you this morning. Nothing will be earth shattering, I don't think I will offer anything that in reality you don't already know. My hope, my aim is to raise our awareness and perhaps alter our action(s).

What do you see? Whatever it is you are looking for.

A few weeks back I wrote about perspective...seeing things differently. What I am speaking of this morning is different than perspective; what I am speaking of is the choice we make in how we approach things from the beginning. It is shaped by perspective, it is led by expectations and it determines the life we will live.

"You see only what you want to see, and what you see determines the health of your relationships [life]. Your attitude is a little thing that makes a massive difference. Don't be the stubborn one who makes it a point to not see the good in your partner [in people, in situations, in circumstances]. - Suman Rai

 

The brackets are a few words I added to alter the perspective. The bottom line for all of us is that we see only what we want to see.

• Do you see the good in your life? You see only what you want to see.
• Do you see the good in your spouse, partner, mate? You see only what you want to see.
• Do you see the good in your kids? You see only what you want to see.
• Do you see the good in the stranger you meet? You see only what you want to see.
• Do you see the good in your job? You see only what you want to see.

You see Friends, the reality is there is good and bad in all of us. There is good and bad in all situations & circumstances. It is our choice as to what we see...and it is a critical choice. What we see, the expectations we bring to the table, dictate the thoughts, the words and the actions that we will then live out. They then create the world that we live in and it all started with what we wanted to see.

 

If we want better lives, marriages, relationships with our kids, interactions with other people then perhaps we need to change what we are looking for. Do you see the good or the bad in others - we all have both? Do you see challenges or opportunities - you can claim it either way and you would be right? Do you see defeat or victory - there is the opportunity for both in most situations? Please remember that you see only what you want to see.

 

Everything has a cost.

 

There is a cost associated with everything in life and we make decisions based on which or what price we are willing to pay.

 

• Spending time with my wife and kids costs me the time I could have spent with others or doing something else.
• Doing something - anything! - costs me not being able to do something else.
• Giving of my time, my talents or my treasures to someone or something costs me the exact same with someone or something else.

Kind of weird when you look at it that way isn't it? The reality remains the same however. Everything has a cost.

 

So the question is "what price are you willing to pay?"

• Are you going to strive today to become the best you are capable of becoming? There is a cost.
• Are you going to love, honor, respect, protect & invest in your spouse? There is a cost.
• Are you going to love, honor, respect, protect & invest in your kids? There is a cost.
• Are you going to serve others, make someone else's life better today? There is a cost.
• Are you going to go to the gym, eat right, etc. today? There is a cost.

These are but a few examples. I can't tell you what the right answer is for you. Here is all I want you to know; you can say "yes"...and there is a cost. You can say "no"...and there is a cost. In fact, you can be completely indifferent...and there is a cost. The thing you and I have to determine today, in fact we will determine every day, is what price we are willing to pay.

 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

 

Kev

Do They Know?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you are having an awesome week!

I am rereading Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek. Earlier this week I read something that I have thought about often over the past few days. I would like to share it with you here this morning.

"The only way people will know what you believe is by the things you say and do, and if you're not consistent in the things you say and do, no one will know what you believe."

 

My question, my challenge for us on this beautiful Friday morning Friends is, "Do they know?" Do the people that we interact with every day, and those who we will only interact with once, know what we believe? Is there integrity between what we say and what we do? Are we walking out, in every moment of every day, what we truly believe?

 

It is so easy to say what we perceive to be "right" however if we don't believe what we say it will be impossible to consistently speak, and more importantly do, what we say. In the absence of this consistency people will not know what we believe. If they don't know what we believe there will be no trust. If there is no trust their is no relationship. If there is no relationship there is...nothing. How many leaders - of homes, families, businesses - have failed because nobody really knew what they believed?

 

And I want to touch for a moment on "right." What is right? Well, I can't tell you what is right for you or for anyone else. I can only tell you what is right for me, to testify what I have found to be true in my life. I can then only say and do the things that I believe (there is that word again!) to be true for me. When I do this, while you might not agree with me...and that is completely fine, at least you will know what I believe. The game of trying to do what everyone says is right, to have everyone agree with you or to convince everyone else that your way is the only right way (I feel like I just described the entire political landscape!) is a losing proposition for everyone. Nobody knows what you truly believe, there is no trust, there is no meaningful relationships and worst of all, we violate our own Spirits. By the way, a violated Spirit will never rest. It will gnaw at you - meeting you at your pillow every night and greeting you every morning when you wake from your fitful sleep - until you heed it's call. Trust me, I have learned that one from experience! :)

 

So, in summation, "Do they know?"

 

Let me share one more excerpt from the book with you in closing:

 

"You can't ask others what you have to do to be authentic. Being authentic means that you already know."

 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families.

 

Kev

 



Perspective

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning!

Perspective: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.

I have been thinking a lot about perspective lately. The way we see things, literally and metaphorically, greatly influences our thoughts, ideas, perceptions, etc. about those things. I do want to be clear that I am not speaking about values & morals - those, I believe, are non-negotiable. They are at the core of who we are and therefore cannot be compromised. Perspectives on the other hand are the way we see things.

I am going to share a little true story to illustrate a shift in, and the power of, perspective. A couple of weeks ago Gehrig was playing in a baseball tournament. My Beautiful Bride gave me all the reasons why she couldn't get up at 5:45 a.m., get out the door by 6:30 a.m. and go with G and I to the field at 7:00 a.m. She in fact went on to tell me that she had so much to do that she wasn't going to be able to go to his games that day. Now, we have had these kinds of conversations in our home before. Unfortunately, my typical response was to be upset, disappointed that she was not coming with me and unbelieving that we would not be cheering on our son together. Praise the Lord, my response this day was different. While I certainly wanted My Girl with me - I always want her with me! - my thoughts this day were different. This day I thought about how blessed I was to have the time with G as we drove to the field to talk about life. This day I thought about how blessed I was to get to watch him play. I love to watch my son play baseball, it genuinely makes my heart happy. I chose this day to focus on how blessed I was to have this experience with my son and I was determined to enjoy every moment of it. My perspective, the way I looked at things or perhaps chose to look at things, had changed. While the details of everything were exactly the same - Gehrig baseball game, me taking Gehrig, Gehrig and I by ourselves at the field - my attitude, my heart, were completely different. My perspective had changed.

Perspective can be a funny thing. We have all looked at pictures that when you look at it one way you see a certain thing and when you look at it another way you see something else. It is amazing what our eyes can see based on what we are looking for/at, based on what we know or understand. Have you ever looked at something one way and then, when you look at it from a different perspective, remarkable beauty emerges? It truly is amazing.

How about when someone shares what they see from their perspective? Has that ever happened to you? When you see something - a person, a thing, a situation - from one perspective and then someone will say, "from my perspective..." and then you see something totally different based on what they share with you? It is amazing what happens when/if we are open to see what another sees. Little kids are great at this...I have learned, seen, changed so much because of the perspective of each of my boys. Blessed...

How do we respond when our perspectives are challenged? Are we willing, open to see things differently? What I have found in my life is that the further things are from touching me, the more willing I am to look at it from a different perspective. Show me a picture...oh yes, I see what you see. A different perspective of someone at work...o.k., I guess you could be right. A different perspective on how to do things in my family...I will think about it. A different perspective on how I see myself...(silence).

This is where I have been walking for the past few weeks. I know Who's I am, I know my values, what I will stand for...the non-negotiables. In the areas that are not non-negotiable, I want to see things from other perspectives. I want to learn, stretch & grow. Herein I believe lies one of the critical keys to becoming all that I was created to become. I can't become all I was created to become however seeing things as I have always seen them, doing what I have always done. Funny, in the last couple of weeks I will suddenly, subconsciously start singing "Open the eyes of my heart Lord." It is a song about perspective. I am aware of God knocking on my heart...

Where do you walk today Friend? Do you know Who's you are, do you know your values, what you will stand for? If not, I would strongly encourage you to determine these things first. If not you will be tossed back and forth by the waves of life. Once these have been determined, I would like to challenge all of us to see things - all things including ourselves - from a different perspective. It is not easy nor will it always be comfortable. In the end however it will complete us, enable us to grow in the fullness of who we were created to become.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families & friends.

Kev