I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning! I truly cherish this time...as a new day dawns. Everything is new and fresh again. There are no faults, failures, mistakes; just renewal, hope, opportunity, promise. The first light is beginning to appear, the birds are starting to wake up, soon the city will start coming alive with the buzz of traffic - just a blessed time, inspiring.
Men being real men, husbands & fathers - the men, husbands & fathers that God created (perfectly equipped by the way, lacking nothing...think about that!) them to become, has long been the passion of my heart. I do not say that in a critical, condemning spirit, I say it with a heart to encourage, empower & equip them to do so. I personally believe that the greatest challenges in our world are directly tied to men failing to fulfill their purpose, failing to fulfill their responsibilities and, far to often, running from them. We have a world filled with men trying to prove they are men by doing childish things, daughters desperately trying to figure out what a real man, the love of a real man looks like, boys desperately wanting a role model, someone to truly show them how to fulfill their God ordained purpose as a man, husband & father. So many lives have been lost, there is so much pain, there is so much brokenness, there is so much despair, because men fail to rise up and become the men, husbands & fathers that they were created to become.
As we approach this Father's Day weekend I want to share some excerpts from Tong Dungy's book UNcommon as well as some quotes. Before doing so however I want to share a few thoughts:
1. As you read these things - man or woman - perhaps you will notice that a man, husband
and/or father in your life is fulfilling this sacred calling...thank him. Let him know that
you notice. That while he does have moments of failure - everyone one of us does! - you
recognize that he does strive to pursue the greatness that is within him, that he and his
efforts are recognized, valued & appreciated.
2. Perhaps you know a man, husband and/or father who is not currently pursuing his
greatness, his calling. I want to encourage you to share this with him. Do not convict him
when sharing, allow his spirit to do that...it is much more powerful than you anyways!
Simply let him know that you believe in him and you thought he might enjoy reading it.
3. To the men, husbands & fathers - today is a new day. Your past mistakes, faults, failures,
etc. are in the, well, past. You have a choice today what this day will be. Perhaps you have
failed to meet your responsibilities as a man, a husband or father right up until this
moment...let it go. You cannot change the past however you can change this moment, this
day. You can choose to be a real man, to honor your responsibilities, to be accountable for
your words and actions. You can choose to be a real husband, to love, honor, lead &
respect your wife. You can choose to be a real dad, to love, honor, lead & respect the
precious souls who call you "Daddy." I don't care if you are 18, 48 or 98. I don't care if you
have failed at every one of these responsibilities every time right up until now...you can
choose to be different. And know this, you will make a choice - one way or the other. Pick
up the phone, better yet, go see the person. Pour out your heart and then walk your talk. I
do not propose that it will be easy...nothing of any value is easy! I promise you however
that you will not regret it. The final thing I want you to know: I believe in you. I know you
can become the man, the husband and the father God created you to become. How do I
know? Because I know the One who created you and I can testify to the transforming
power He possesses.
First, I would like to share some excerpts from UNcommon by Tony Dungy with Nathan Whitaker.
And today, fatherhood remains one of the critical foundations for the health of our current generation and for those that will follow.
It seems that it has almost become perfectly acceptable to not be a part of your child's life as long as you meet your financial responsibilities.
Be there for your children!
Studies have shown that the father's relationship with his daughter will be the primary predictor in the success of her marriage, relationships with men, and her sexual behavior prior to marriage. In particular, the research shows that if she isn't treated well by her father, or has no father in the home to nurture her, love her, and make her feel secure, she will attempt to fill that void through relationships with other men. As for our sons, if there is no father to model proper behavior for them, they will never learn what it means to be a man or a father.
Just because you've erred doesn't mean you're out of the running to be a good dad. The Bible wasn't written for those who have it figured out, but instead it is God's Word to those of us who are muddling through life. We must remember that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," but we have been given the freedom through Christ to forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead as we "press on to reach the end of the race."
Here's something to think about: How do you speak to your children? What we say is terribly important.
James 3: 3 - 6 says this: We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in his mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire.
Our words can uplift and heal and empower - or not. Words can inspire, rekindle a sense of wonder, and provide direction, or they can dampen spirits, condemn ideas, and destroy initiative.
Just know that your children are always looking for affirmation, for the knowledge that they matter - to you - even when their behavior would indicate otherwise.
Your children need you to affirm and encourage them.
Be intentional with your words.
In addition to looking for opportunities to lift your children up with your words, great care should be taken in watching what you do. Your children are more observant and perceptive than you think.
Our children are smart - they will notice if we are living lives that are inconsistent with what we're saying and teaching.
...sometimes the best thing we can do as parents is to be quiet. Our children need to know that we're always there for them, no matter what.
When was the last time you set aside all the "important" things you had to do and followed your children to wherever they wanted to go? Have they asked you to do something recently? Maybe you've said no so many times that they don't bother to ask anymore.
The Bible says that tomorrow is not promised to us. We need to take advantage of the opportunities we have today. Life is what happens when we're making other plans.
I don't know what's going on in your life right now. I don't know what important stuff you have in front of you. I don't know what or who is bothering you or trying to set your schedule for tomorrow or days ahead. But I wonder if we all need to do a better job of listening to that gentle whisper from a God who daily reminds us to enjoy the sacred moments with those we love - with dear friends, with those who need us, and especially with our precious children. They are moments we will look back on with either regret or smile.
Either way, the memory will last forever.
I also want to share some thought provoking quotes with you:
"Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad." - Jack Baker
"Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won't take away your manhood; it will give it to you." - Louis C.K.
"The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them." - Confucius
"He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." - Clarence Budington Kelland
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." - Jim Valvano
"Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown." - Unknown
"Being a father is the most important role I will ever play and if I don't do this well, no other thing I do really matters." - Unknown
"A child playing with its father screams louder, laughs harder, jumps more eagerly, puts more faith in everything." - Lydia Netzer
"...it's my responsibility to cultivate the man in my son. I can't be passive about that." - Randy Alcorn
"Father to teenage son [daughter]: "My relationship with you is more important than anything I've got to say to you." - Randy Alcorn
"Conviction is worthless unless it is converted into conduct." - Thomas Carlyle
"God gives you convictions for a reason." - Unknown
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families!
Kev
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