Is It Goodbye...

Happy Friday Friends!!!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great Friday and an awesome week is coming to a close for you.

There have been a lot of heart-felt conversations in the Haslam's lives over the course of the past few weeks. After 7 blessed years of being at Arizona State University and living where Kathy and I grew up, near family and with friends - old & new, we are now going on a wonderful adventure to Texas. This has led to several conversations with family and friends that we love so very much...but are they goodbye's?

I think we could probably argue over the word "goodbye" for quite a while and, as is the case with most words, it is useless. The word itself, the description we have assigned to something, means nothing. As with everything in life, I believe, it comes down to the true intent of the heart.

My best friend in this world lives 1,556.6 miles from me according to Google Maps. I have not seen him in person in more than 3 years...I think. He knows my greatest strengths, my greatest weaknesses, my victories & my failures. When I am troubled, worried, making a decision, etc., he is one of the first people I contact. There is never more than a two week time frame where I won't call him or he will call me. Sometimes I don't get to talk to him at all. I get his voicemail and I leave a message telling him that I love him and I am proud of him...and it is enough for both of us - my heart is full. We have not lived near each other in more than 15 years and yet when I talk about Uncle Mark my Beautiful Bride and my Tender Warriors know exactly who I am talking about, they know what is going on in his life, his wife's life and in the lives of his precious children. It is a condition of the heart, a desire to be close, to keep the relationship close, no matter the miles or time.

It strikes me as so ironic. Some are physically present for their family, for their friends and yet their families and friends long for them. Their families and friends would give anything if they would be present, have a real conversation with them, if they would care. And yet these precious blessings - family & friends - walk in and out the door every day, physically present and yet so desperate for true love. I am sorry Friends, these are not the types of relationships I have a desire to have or have tried to create. I want real, meaningful, heart to heart relationships, whether physically present or not.

I don't believe physical location has to determine the strength, depth or breadth of our relationships. Sure, it is great to be able to see them, to hug them, to go out to eat with them...especially on Burger Friday (I might need to trademark that!)! :) However this is not what gives our relationships meaning. What does matter greatly is the intentions, the condition of our hearts. A heart filled with love for another will go to great lengths to grow the relationship, to continue to invest in the life of the other, to be there for another through the good and bad times...no matter the miles. It is not the physical presence that builds the relationship, it is the heart. And the reality is, if it is a truly desperate situation that requires my physical presence, I am highly confident that Mark in Alabama, Stephen in Mississippi, Leroy in Kansas, Steve in Michigan, Rob & AJ in Arizona - to just give you a few examples - know to the depths of their core that I will be there as soon as humanly possible.

Have you ever thought of this; perhaps God moves us to perform His work, to fulfill the purpose He has for our lives? You see, I met Mark in Nebraska, Stephen in Arizona, Leroy in Kansas, Steve in Illinois, Rob & AJ here in AZ - at two very different times in my life in two separate locations. Each man is a God fearing & pursuing man and I look back at times in my life where each of them individually stepped up, spoke truth into my life and helped me grow as a man, husband and/or father. Had I refused to move when God wanted to move me, if I had dug my heels in the sand and said no, the list would end at Mark. I met every other man, I grew in so many ways, the season in life, that Mark and I  physically shared together. It is kind of funny when I look at it that way. I can't imagine what my life would look like, how I would have grown in the ways I have grown - not to mention how sore Mark's back would be from carrying me all these years! - if I hadn't moved. Was it hard at that time? Was I sad? Did I cry? Yes, Yes & Yes! Growth and maturity is a wonderful thing...it gives perspective. My relationship with Mark is better, healthier & stronger than it was when we left one another physically 15 some years ago (note to Mark - Bro, we are getting old!!) and I have been so blessed by these other men that God so perfectly placed in my life. Truth of the matter is, I wouldn't want to go back to any time or any place because I would have to give up parts of who I am now, what God has done and is doing in my life now, to do so. Think about it...

There are two things I want to share to end this Happy Friday that I am not quite sure how to end:

1. Is there someone, perhaps several someone's, that you have said goodbye to when you
     didn't really mean to say goodbye? Again Friend, I am talking about the heart. You know,
     the one's that you meant to call, that you have thought about but, you know, too much
     time has passed? Let me let you in on a secret; if you have not breathed your final breath,
     it is not too late. Pick up the phone, go see them...whatever works for you. It might be
     awkward at first but I promise you that you will not regret it. Don't let the thoughts of
     coulda, shoulda & woulda haunt you. Chop their legs right out from underneath
     them. Reach out to that family member or friend.

2. I am not a goodbye kinda guy. To any of my personal friends out there who happen to
     read this, please know that you are stuck with me! When I loved you with my words and
     my actions this came from a very pure-hearted, authentic place. I can't just shut this off
     because my physical location will now be Texas. I still love you and will continue to do so.
     I will be intentional with my phone calls, texts, emails...whatever I have to do to reach
     you, to let you know I am thinking about you, that I care about you and that I believe in
     you...with all of my heart. I look forward to our relationships continuing to grow and I
     thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for blessing my life so, so richly.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev