I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning! It is an awesome time of year...school is getting ready to start/just started and for one more week every football team in America is undefeated...hope, opportunity & promise are everywhere!
Let me just tell you on the front end of this Happy Friday; I don't really know what the point is going to be. I know what is on my heart, what I want to share...just not share where it is gonna lead.
It has been 3 weeks since I wrote my last Happy Friday. This is the longest it has been since I started writing Happy Friday as a blog (it started as an email) 3 years ago. I am gonna unpack what has been going on in my world the past few weeks.
As summer rapidly drew to a close the time to launch our first Tender Warrior into the world was drawing near - it was time to take Payton to college. My Mom, Grammy, flew in from New Mexico to stay with Gehrig - he had his Freshman football practice starting - the week we took Payton to South Dakota. Our last few days at home before leaving were absolutely awesome. My Beautiful Bride, the boys and I went out to a special dinner the night before Grammy arrived; Grammy got here and we were all so excited to see her; Grammy took us all out to dinner and then we went and rode rides at the Kemah Boardwalk; Payton and I went out on Saturday and bought his shirt to wear under his shoulder pads - a tradition he and I have had since his freshman year in high school; we got the car all loaded - it all fit!; and then Sunday morning arrived and it was time to go. Excitement & anticipation were definitely in the air. It was tough watching Payton & Gehrig say goodbye to each other...a Dads heart. After many hugs and a few tears we were off.
The trip to South Dakota went great - as great as a 21+ hour drive stretched over 2 days can go! We talked, we laughed, we shared our hopes, dreams and yes, fears. It was such a...I can't come up with the right word...interesting feeling. There was the awareness that Kath, Landry & I would be driving 21+ hours back without Payton - for me this did not cause an overwhelming sadness though I was certainly mindful of the implications - and the pure joy, excitement that Payton was pursuing the dream he had cherished in his heart since he could walk & talk.
The two days in South Dakota went quickly. Day 1 was buying the last minute items, making sure all the paperwork was done, etc. Day 2 was move in day. He has a dorm room that overlooks the football stadium...he can look out the window and actually see from one end zone out to about the 40-yard line - Perfect! Again, everything went great. I shouldn't, I wasn't surprised...I had praying about and for this time for more than 6 months. God is so good and faithful.
Wednesday night was the time to say goodbye. After his first 3+ hours of meetings - so you wanna be a college football player, huh? - Payton called us when he was done. My Bride, my Littlest Warrior and I ran over to see him. Most of the talk was small talk, we all took a selfie with Payton and then it was time for our hugs. The peace I felt was surreal. I hugged my boy tight, told him how much I love him, how proud I am of him, how much I believe in him and I reminded him that I am always here for him. Everyone did real good...until we started walking away. I am in the middle, I am holding hands with my Bride on one side and Landry on the other. The tears started flowing. When we got in the car I pulled Landry into my lap, kissed his sweet little face and hugged his 9-year old little body. I then prayed for all of us...for strength, for courage, for peace. The peace came, the tears stopped. Good is so good and faithful.
Payton had it easy; all he had to do was go to football practice & meetings for two days...Kath, Landry & I had to drive 1,300+ miles! :) The trip again went great.
For me the only tough day was Saturday or Sunday...sorry, all the days were blurring together. I woke up missing Payton. Again, it wasn't an overwhelming, darkened spirit kind of missing but I was missing him. It was funny, I kept catching myself singing the chorus to the Rodney Atkins song "Watching You." It goes:
I've been watching you, dad ain't that cool?
I'm your buckaroo, I want to be like you
And eat all my food, and grow as tall as you are
Payton and I first heard that song when he was a little, little boy. We would sing the song loud and proud...it is our song. As he got older and it was no longer cool to sing at the top of our lungs, he would lean over, turn up the radio and look at me...we both knew. That song is our song, always will be...and I couldn't get it out of my head.
I just had to talk to Payton...I felt this strong conviction. I have made decisions, done things to enable Payton to pursue his goals & dreams - I believe this is my responsibility as a husband & Dad...to empower my Bride & Tender Warriors to pursue the greatness that is within them, to fulfill their life purposes - and I wanted to make sure this is in fact what he was doing. I texted Payton and asked him to give me a call when he had a moment. After telling him I love him, how much I missed him and telling him I have been singing "Watching You" - I wish you could have heard his voice as he said "really?"...in that one little word he communicated that he understood he was loved & valued by his Dad - I told him I needed to ask him a critically important question. I said, "you know that we have made some sacrifices to enable you to go to school. Is this what you really want to do?" Without hesitation he said "yes." I said, "you know there is nothing you can do to make me love you more or less, right?" Again, without hesitation, he said, "yes." I said, "O.K., if this is what you want I am completely good with it." He said, "alright." The peace and calm in my spirit was immediate. My boy is doing what he wants, pursuing his goals & dreams, living in the moment...what more could I want or hope for as his Dad?!?! It is funny; there have been two times in his life where he has looked me dead in the eye and said, "Dad, am I making a good decision?" Each time I felt the weight of that question and I understood fully the ramifications of how I answered it. Now it was me looking to him for affirmation...another step in releasing a man into the world.
So that is my story over the past few weeks. God is good, He has prepared our hearts, minds & spirits for this season of life as I have asked him to do many, many times over the past year. We are all figuring out how this works being 1,300 miles apart, dealing with time changes and busy schedules. I am looking forward to this part of Payton's life journey just as I have looked forward to, and truly loved, every other part. I have raised him to the very best of my ability with God's leadership, guidance & direction; he knows who he is and Who's he is; and he is fearlessly pursuing his goals & dreams. Really, what more could a Dad ask for or hope?
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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