Friday, March 27, 2015

Finding Peace

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day dawns!

So I had gotten "there" again; pressing, trying to do and take care of everything, worried about my family, my job, etc. There is nothing major wrong...just the daily grind of life and striving to be the best man, husband, Dad, friend, leader, worker I can be. I was listening to the radio, somewhat in a fog as I was contemplating one challenge/opportunity (it's all about perspective!) or another and the announcer read the daily verse. It was kinda surreal; I went from this unclear thoughtless fog to laser sharp focus on the words being read. Here is the verse:

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

All at once there was this great peace that descended upon my heart & Spirit. It was a reminder that touched my heart as my Spirit spoke to me. "God is in control Kevin. Everything may not go exactly as you want or think you want it to go however God uses everything for your good. Pursue God, walk out the purpose(s) He has called you to, have faith and know - KNOW! - that everything is going to be fine."

Have you ever been there? Where you are pushing, fighting, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders? Striving so hard to do everything "right", to be "perfect?" It's exhausting, isn't it? Let me give you a little gift this morning; read this again, but this time for you:

"God is in control   (your name). Everything may not go exactly as you want or think you want it to go however God uses everything for your good. Pursue God, walk out the purpose(s) He has called you to, have faith and know - KNOW! - that everything is going to be fine."

I also want to briefly break down this beautiful scripture:

1. "We know" - Faith is a verb, not an adjective. It is something to be acted on, not simply described. You and I will walk out this very day what we truly believe; where, what & in what or whom we will put our faith. What do you know? The battle has already begun...

2. "God causes everything" - As much as we like to control or think we are in control, we really aren't. It is my hope that this is an encouraging statement for you. It's God's job to be God, not ours. It is our job to love God and to love people...that's it.

3. "to work together for the good" - It doesn't say that He will give you everything you want, that there will never be struggles, challenges or heartaches. It says that He causes everything to work together for the good...He will take your disappointments, struggles, challenges & heartaches and use them for your good. Pain & hurt is real; so is the healing & restoration of God.

4. "who love God" - This goes back to the first point; in whom or what will you put your faith? You & I will put our faith in someone or something today...Who or what?

5. "Called according to His purpose for them" - Our lives were created on purpose for a purpose. If you haven't found your purpose - it is in your heart, it was placed there - I pray that you will take the time to discover it. If you are not pursuing your purpose, I pray that the conviction of your Spirit will be so strong that you must pursue it. Either way, please know these things:
a. You were created on purpose for a purpose.
b. Your purpose will continue to call out to you, it is the nagging of the heart, until you pursue it.
c. When you pursue your purpose you become fully alive. Some live many, many years and yet never come alive.

My Beautiful Bride has started posting positive thoughts/quotes/scriptures on Facebook...I am absolutely loving watching her grow as a leader! Last night she posted a quote that I wanted to share with all of you this morning:

"Before you speak to me about your religion, first show it to me in how you treat other people; Before you tell me how much you love your God, show me how much you love all His children; Before you preach to me of your passion for your faith, teach me about it through your compassion for your neighbors. In the end, I'm not as interested in what you have to tell or sell as in how you choose to live and give." - Cory Booker

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

Friday, March 20, 2015

Your Unique Influence

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this absolutely beautiful Friday. I am so excited; was on the road traveling all week, caught a late night flight & arrived home early this morning, taking the day off with the family and first pitch in Gehrigs baseball game is in 1 hour & 10 minutes! Blessed beyond measure!

OK Friends, this Happy Friday is going to be short & sweet - two quick points.

1. What Will Your Influence Be...?
Yes, I am talking directly to you, the one reading this right now. The fact that you will have an influence in every single life you encounter today is unescapable. While you might not like this truth, and many will fight the accountability of it, it is an absolute truth. Your words, actions, demeanor...everything you are, influences every person that you will come into contact with today. You are not responsible for how others receive your message, your influence - a whole lot of folks, including me, get hung up on this point - however you are completely responsible for the things you say & do as well as perhaps the things you don't say & don't do. It is critically important that you decide today, before the moment arises, what that influence will be. Yes there are going to be challenges & struggles. Yes there are going to be people who do & say, bad and perhaps mean things. Through all of this you & I have a choice; What Will Your Influence Be...? The influence might be a smile to a passing stranger or perhaps a moment of integrity in the face of great adversity while you don't even know someone is watching. What Will Your Influence Be...? The people closest to you in your life - perhaps your spouse, partner or child - will be influenced by the way you look, act & talk. What Will Your Influence Be...? Are you going to be a positive, life-giving influence or a negative, death-producing influence? What Will Your Influence Be...? It is so easy to get caught up in the grind of life, worn down by the worries, stresses, concerns, etc. What Will Your Influence Be...? What are you going to pour into your life today & what are you going to allow to be poured into your life? What Will Your Influence Be...? Lies, negativity, gossip...they all produce fruit. What Will Your Influence Be...? Honesty, integrity, hope, faith & love...they all produce fruit too. What Will Your Influence Be...? If you are alive today you are in fact blessed and you have amazing opportunity in front of you. What Will Your Influence Be...?

2. There Is Not One Other Person In All The World Exactly Like You
You are so valuable, so special...you cannot be replaced! There never has been, and there never will again be, someone exactly like you. Every single thing that you have encountered in life - the successes & failures, gains & losses...all of it - have made you into the one of a kind, unique you, that you are. You are a gift that God gave to this world. He placed within you a great purpose for which He has equipped and will empower you to fulfill with Him. The best of who you can become was placed on this earth on purpose, for a purpose! This world needs you. It doesn't need you to be perfect - absolutely nobody is though most spend their entire lives trying to convince others that they are - it just needs you to be the real, true, pure, authentic you that you were created to be! Think about this truth and let the peace settle in your spirit; you don't have to be anything other than the best you that you can be. Know this...that is everything. You have nothing to prove to anyone or anything...that is a lie from the deceiver. Your individual greatness is a gift, a gift this world needs. Your gift might not be to sing in a huge opera or speak into the lives of thousands however it is every bit as important as the lives of those that do. Embrace your uniques - if you don't like the person you were created to be you are in fact arguing with the very God who created us all...think about that one for a second! You are valuable, in fact irreplaceable. Pursue your greatness Friends!

Your life & your influence are unique, special, set apart. I want to encourage you to ponder two questions every morning before the bottom of your feet touch the floor:
1. Will you pursue your greatness?
2. What Will Your Influence Be...?

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for any of you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

32 minutes until first pitch!! :)

Kev

Friday, March 13, 2015

Intentions & Actions

Happy Friday Friends!!!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning!

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions." - Stephen R. Covey

I first heard that quote several years ago. Many times I have been reminded of it. This past week I fell right into it.

I had a situation where I did something that I thought was good - it was in fact very good for everyone - however because I made a mistake and didn't do everything properly & in order, it caused some angst and brought my motives into question for some. My intentions were completely pure, I felt horrible about my mistake and yet the judgment was quite harsh. All this means there was a great opportunity to learn this week! :)

I want to share a few thoughts/reflections with you:

1. I made a mistake. There is no doubt about it, I could have done one thing and all of this would have been prevented. The problem is I never even thought to do this one thing. This makes this mistake mine and I needed to own it...so I did. I immediately told the appropriate people of my error and offered a heart-felt apology. I purposefully fought the temptation to try to justify, shift blame, etc. In the midst of my error there was great clarity for me that this was the right thing to do. Confrontation of any kind can be unpleasant. I would rather confront in honesty, with complete integrity, than play the "cat on the hot tin roof" routine of trying to twist the facts to lessen the impact of my error, somehow shift the blame, etc. I made a mistake and I am sorry.

2. It was pure-hearted. This quite honestly was my saving grace. I knew that what I had done was done with completely pure, honest intentions. As I talked with God over and over again about my mistake this brought peace & comfort to my heart. I was reminded repeatedly of Proverbs 10: 9, "Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out." While some were judging me harshly I had searched my heart & soul. I knew my intentions were pure, that I was walking in complete integrity, as soon as I learned of my error I owned it, notified the appropriate people and offered an honest apology. While the road I had to walk this past week may have been steep & rocky, I knew that I was walking securely. I had nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of...I had simply made an honest, pure-hearted mistake for which I accepted full responsibility. Oh no, I am human!! :)

3. I learned, or perhaps relearned, a great lesson; it can be incredibly hard to let go. I actually thought of all of you, the one's I reach out to each and every Friday morning in an effort to offer something positive, something encouraging. So many times I have encouraged you to "just change the way you are thinking or looking at something...let it go." And yet I found myself waking up at 3:00 a.m. last Saturday thinking about this situation. At that point I had already owned my mistake, apologized to everyone, searched my heart, spoken with God - a lot! - and yet here I am wide awake on a day I finally get to sleep in and my heart hurt. It was great to regain the perspective of how hard the fight can be and to walk out praying continually...even when you don't feel like it. I prayed, thought, prayed, thought, prayed, listened and finally, by God's grace, I let it go. It doesn't escape me that it was after I finally quit doing all the talking and finally listened to God that I was able to let it go.

4. I gained a whole new perspective on the whole intentions vs. actions thing. There has been so many times where the actions of others was either so good or so horrible that it wasn't very hard to tell if the intentions were pure or not. This situation, which was good for everyone including those who were offended, blew me away. I really, really need to slow down - read stop - when it comes to judging others. The reality is I don't know the intentions of others. I pray that I can and will extend love, mercy & grace. Take the time to listen & learn. Don't assume I know why they did something. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Love them - regardless of the intentions - and help & encourage them. Yes, it was a great perspective shift for me.

When I looked up the Stephen R. Covey quote above this morning I found another that I would like to offer as our challenge for this week:

"We judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. We need to offer grace to all, because we all need a little grace." - Jayce O'Neal

I want to share a sweet story  from this week with you to put a smile on your face, and perhaps offer a new perspective or remind you of something you already knew. A couple of nights ago I was laying in bed with my 9-year old son, Landry and my 18-year old son, Payton. Payton says, "Dad, big houses and nice jobs don't matter. We die and then they mean nothing." I said, "that is true son." He said, "If none of it matters, why do we buy big houses, worry about our jobs? Nobody cares when you die." I said, "Well that is not true. There are people who care when you die." Before I could finish he jumped in and said, "Yeah, I know, your family." I said, "Yes, your family and all the people whose lives you made a difference in. They care." Landry, who has been laying there listening to all this jumps in with, "Yeah, like Martin Luther King. He made a difference in a lot of people's lives. His life mattered." An 18-year old is getting it, a 9-year old is preaching it and a Dad fell asleep with a happy heart.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Friday, March 6, 2015

Do Your Good

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful, wondrous new day dawns! I absolutely love this time of day...there is so much hope, opportunity & promise. Every day is a new beginning, a blank page...it is so inspiring to me!

Yesterday as I was driving to work the thought, the realization, hit me that my level of influence is really rather narrow. There are people whose lives I may not be able to speak into. Those who will relate to me most, and therefore will allow me to speak into their lives with my thoughts, words & actions, are those who share some similarity with me. Those who share my faith, my values, my desire to be a better person, spouse, parent, etc. will find it easiest to relate to the things I think, say & do. This thought did not discourage me, nor do I say it this morning with the slightest bit of negativity attached to it. Rather it was a great reminder about my significance, relatively small, and yours, relatively large. The quote that captures the thought best is one of my all-time favorites from Mother Teresa:
 
“I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.”

Isn't it beautiful?! And so very, very true! Because of who I am, the experiences I have had, the life I have lived, there are things I can do, people I can speak to, lives I can touch that you cannot. Likewise, because of who YOU are, the experiences YOU have had, the life YOU have lived, there are things YOU can do, people YOU can speak to, lives that YOU can touch that I cannot. Individually we can do so little, together we can do so much. The question is will we?

It is really easy to get worn down by life. Does it really matter if I am nice to someone? We all have struggles, battles, challenges...will it really make any difference if I try to help someone? Does your influence, does my influence really make a difference? Have you ever read The Starfish Story? I want you to read it here and think of it in terms of all the starfish, uh people, you will encounter today:

Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work. Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions. 
Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching.  As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea.  The boy came closer still and the man called out, “Good morning!  May I ask what it is that you are doing?”
The young boy paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can’t return to the sea by themselves,” the youth replied. “When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water.”
The old man replied, “But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I’m afraid you won’t really be able to make much of a difference.”
The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, “It made a difference to that one!”
adapted from The Star Thrower, by Loren Eiseley (1907 – 1977)

No Friends, you can't make a difference in all the lives you will encounter today. You can however focus on one life at a time and choose to be an intentional, positive influence in that life. While you might not be able to influence thousands or even hundreds, you can & will influence one life at a time today. You will choose to stroll down the beach and leave them to wither & die or you will be choose to help them any way you can. You are not responsible for what they choose to do, how they choose to live their life however you are completely responsible for the things you think, say & do. Please don't focus on what you cannot do, please do not focus on what you cannot control - other people, rather focus your time, talent & energy on the things you control - your thoughts, your words & your actions.

I want to close with another favorite quote, this one from the great Jackie Robinson:
 
"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives."

How important will your life be today? How important will you choose to make your life today? I promise you today I will make my life important, I will make this day count. I make a commitment to you that today I will seek to serve others, to help them any way I can. Will you join me in this commitment? Just for today? While individually our impact is narrow, together it is huge! Let's get to work doing our good where we are today!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev