I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Friday morning!
"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions." - Stephen R. Covey
I first heard that quote several years ago. Many times I have been reminded of it. This past week I fell right into it.
I had a situation where I did something that I thought was good - it was in fact very good for everyone - however because I made a mistake and didn't do everything properly & in order, it caused some angst and brought my motives into question for some. My intentions were completely pure, I felt horrible about my mistake and yet the judgment was quite harsh. All this means there was a great opportunity to learn this week! :)
I want to share a few thoughts/reflections with you:
1. I made a mistake. There is no doubt about it, I could have done one thing and all of this would have been prevented. The problem is I never even thought to do this one thing. This makes this mistake mine and I needed to own it...so I did. I immediately told the appropriate people of my error and offered a heart-felt apology. I purposefully fought the temptation to try to justify, shift blame, etc. In the midst of my error there was great clarity for me that this was the right thing to do. Confrontation of any kind can be unpleasant. I would rather confront in honesty, with complete integrity, than play the "cat on the hot tin roof" routine of trying to twist the facts to lessen the impact of my error, somehow shift the blame, etc. I made a mistake and I am sorry.
2. It was pure-hearted. This quite honestly was my saving grace. I knew that what I had done was done with completely pure, honest intentions. As I talked with God over and over again about my mistake this brought peace & comfort to my heart. I was reminded repeatedly of Proverbs 10: 9, "Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out." While some were judging me harshly I had searched my heart & soul. I knew my intentions were pure, that I was walking in complete integrity, as soon as I learned of my error I owned it, notified the appropriate people and offered an honest apology. While the road I had to walk this past week may have been steep & rocky, I knew that I was walking securely. I had nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of...I had simply made an honest, pure-hearted mistake for which I accepted full responsibility. Oh no, I am human!! :)
3. I learned, or perhaps relearned, a great lesson; it can be incredibly hard to let go. I actually thought of all of you, the one's I reach out to each and every Friday morning in an effort to offer something positive, something encouraging. So many times I have encouraged you to "just change the way you are thinking or looking at something...let it go." And yet I found myself waking up at 3:00 a.m. last Saturday thinking about this situation. At that point I had already owned my mistake, apologized to everyone, searched my heart, spoken with God - a lot! - and yet here I am wide awake on a day I finally get to sleep in and my heart hurt. It was great to regain the perspective of how hard the fight can be and to walk out praying continually...even when you don't feel like it. I prayed, thought, prayed, thought, prayed, listened and finally, by God's grace, I let it go. It doesn't escape me that it was after I finally quit doing all the talking and finally listened to God that I was able to let it go.
4. I gained a whole new perspective on the whole intentions vs. actions thing. There has been so many times where the actions of others was either so good or so horrible that it wasn't very hard to tell if the intentions were pure or not. This situation, which was good for everyone including those who were offended, blew me away. I really, really need to slow down - read stop - when it comes to judging others. The reality is I don't know the intentions of others. I pray that I can and will extend love, mercy & grace. Take the time to listen & learn. Don't assume I know why they did something. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Love them - regardless of the intentions - and help & encourage them. Yes, it was a great perspective shift for me.
When I looked up the Stephen R. Covey quote above this morning I found another that I would like to offer as our challenge for this week:
"We judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. We need to offer grace to all, because we all need a little grace." - Jayce O'Neal
I want to share a sweet story from this week with you to put a smile on your face, and perhaps offer a new perspective or remind you of something you already knew. A couple of nights ago I was laying in bed with my 9-year old son, Landry and my 18-year old son, Payton. Payton says, "Dad, big houses and nice jobs don't matter. We die and then they mean nothing." I said, "that is true son." He said, "If none of it matters, why do we buy big houses, worry about our jobs? Nobody cares when you die." I said, "Well that is not true. There are people who care when you die." Before I could finish he jumped in and said, "Yeah, I know, your family." I said, "Yes, your family and all the people whose lives you made a difference in. They care." Landry, who has been laying there listening to all this jumps in with, "Yeah, like Martin Luther King. He made a difference in a lot of people's lives. His life mattered." An 18-year old is getting it, a 9-year old is preaching it and a Dad fell asleep with a happy heart.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
No comments:
Post a Comment