Saturday, April 18, 2015

Meekness

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day, that you had an awesome week and that your weekend is off to a great start!

I am currently rereading one of my all time favorite books, Four Pillars of A Man's Heart: Brining Strength Into Balance by Stu Weber. Earlier this week I was reading a little section titled, "Meek" Isn't What You Think. I was reading and thinking, "that is really good!", I underlined several things, thought "that is really good!" a whole bunch of more times and then finally, "I gotta tell someone about this stuff!" Well Friends, you are the one's who I am going to share all this wonderful, insightful, God-inspired wisdom with...lucky you! :)

The following excerpts come directly from Mr. Weber's book:
  • At its core, meekness requires great strength.
  • ...a careful distilling of its background often conceptualizes it as "strength under control."
  • ...the true champion is the horse, well bred and muscular, who has most clearly responded to his training. He is the picture of strength under control.
  • The humble man makes the finest leader. The most effective leader is the man - strong in his soul and muscular in his spirit - who is most responsive to his Lord.
  • Phillip Keller captures some of the spirit of meekness as an essential leadership quality: Meek men are not weak men...they refuse to shove, push, and throw their weight around. They do not win their wars with brutal battles and fierce fights. They win their way into a hundred hearts and homes with the passport of a lowly, loving spirit.
  • Keller continues, Their unique genius is their gentleness. This quality of life does not come from a position of feeble impotence, but rather from a tremendous inner strength and serenity. Only the strong, stable spirit can afford to be gentle...This quality is much more than a thin veneer of proper propriety or superficial politeness...Rather, it is the epitome of a laid-down life, poured out, laid out, lived on behalf of others.
  • Headship is always "giving up" one's self. Headship is never "lording it over" another.
  • C.S. Lewis said: This headship, then, is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least, is most unworthy of him, is - in her own mere nature - least lovable. For the Church has no beauty but what the Bridegroom gives her; he does not find, but makes her lovely. The chrism of this terrible coronation is to be seen not in the joy's of any man's marriage but in its sorrow, in the sickness and sufferings of a good wife or the faults of a bad one; in his unwearying (never paraded) care or his inexhaustible forgiveness; forgiveness, not acquiescence.
  • Think about it. Christ did not come to earth for Himself, but for you. Your marriage is not given to you for you; it is given to you for her. Your marriage is not a gift for your satisfaction; it is a labor for her development. She is not a gratuity to you; you are a sacrifice for her. You are not drawn to her for her beauty; you are to render her beautiful through your own pain.
  • The Christian husband works at great length to actually produce a beauty in his wife. He prays, "Lord, help me to make my wife the most beautiful woman in the world to me." And he puts the feet of mature, humble sacrifice to his prayers.
In the above, Pastor Weber took meekness - "strength under control" - and applied it to men, specifically husbands, in an effort to help them become the men that God intends for them to become. To help them understand what it means to be a man, what it really looks like to be a leader. If you are a man, or if you are a woman who has a man in your life that is important to you - husband, son, brother, father - I would strongly encourage you read, or give them, Tender Warrior and Four Pillars of A Man's Heart, both by Stu Weber.

I also want to share a few more quotes about meekness with you. I pray you will think about this concept of meekness, of "strength under control," of "a laid-down life, poured out, laid out, lived on behalf of others." While Pastor Weber addressed the relationship between husband & wife, the same idea, the same concept applies to all the various forms of leadership - parent & child, coach & athlete, boss & employee, etc. Let these words speak deep to your spirit Friends.

The greatness of the man's power is the measure of his surrender. - William Booth
 
There's no reason to not be humble, because as great as you may be, you can always be greater. - Jarod Kintz
 
One should preach not from one's rational mind but rather from the heart. Only that which is from the heart can touch another heart. One must never attack or oppose anyone. If he who preaches must tell people to keep away from a certain kind of evil, he must do so meekly and humbly, with fear of God. - Thaddeus of Vitovnica
 
Just as meekness is in all our virtues, so is pride in all our sins. - Neal A Maxwell
 
Meekness is really the power of self-control. And greater is he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. - George A. Edgar
 
Meekness is not weakness, but spiritual strength harnessed for service. - Joe Cothen
 
Meekness is one of those mysterious virtues that we hardly even ponder. We may gossip that some blowhard is hardly humble, but we don't think, "You know, what that guy needs is a little more meekness." Meekness sounds wimpy, almost negative. If someone's meek, it sounds like they're a pushover. A doormat. A wimp. but here's the reality: true meekness exerts incredible power. Meekness is not weakness. Meekness is strength. It has softened hearts and toppled empires. It's a power that can't be countered. - Tom Paul Wheeler
 
Meekness is not a soft, yielding, natural disposition, nor a prudent bridling of a passionate nature; but it is humility applied to the world, not taking offense at the offenses of the world. - George A. Edgar
 
Meekness is tender; consulting the feelings of others, and willing to bear much pain rather than inflict any. - Unknown
 

Meekness is power completely surrendered to God's control. - John MacArthur
 
Meekness is when you are in a position of strength and power - yet you choose not to use hat power against your opponent, your critic, your accuser, your persecutor. - Michael Youssef
 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great evening, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Friday, April 10, 2015

Love & Support

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as this beautiful new opportunity, uh day, dawns!

For those of you who regularly read "Happy Friday," the answer to the question you are asking yourself right now is "o.k." There is a physical void in my life that will never again be filled...I get that. I have also chosen every day to pursue the Lord and allow Him to give me peace, to fill the whole in my heart, to be my strength. Yesterday was the first day I felt "normal" again. Wednesday was the first day that I woke up that I didn't have this panicked feeling of, "Mom is gone." Tuesday I instinctively went to grab my cell phone as I began to drive across the causeway to call Mom and then suddenly realized I can't do that anymore. In each of these moments, and many more throughout the day, I have gone to God and asked Him to lead me, to give me peace...He hasn't failed to deliver yet. I must tell you this also; I can hear my Mom's voice in my head saying, "Why are you sad?" As I told you last week, I KNOW she would not want me to be sad but rather happy for her. I again strive to honor Mom.

There are a couple of quick things I want to share with you this morning.

Last Wednesday, as we were in the thick of Mom's journey home my cell phone rang. There was a joyful voice on the other end. It was a brother that I love with all of my heart...we have been doing life together for the last 5 years or so. I hadn't spoken to him in probably a year. My heart felt good just hearing his voice, laughing at each other's stupid jokes, etc. Towards the end I said, "It is funny you should call today." He interrupted me and said, "I have to be honest man, Kathy called me..." In that moment I felt a warmth, a peace, I saw a picture of love that I quite honestly cannot explain to you. You see, I have known for a long, long time how very blessed I am that God gave me the most beautiful earthly gift He could give me, my Beautiful Bride. After 26 years of marriage it can sometimes be hard to "one up" something or to physically demonstrate your love, understanding, care & compassion for another. The first time I experienced this feeling was when Kath gave me my first son, Payton. I walked around in awe of both of them for two months...nearly 19 years later I am still in awe of both. In any event, this experience was just like it. This act of reaching out to someone she knows means the world to me showed love, understanding, compassion, selflessness, initiative...it was truly overwhelming to me. And she repeated it again, and again, and again over the next several days.

I also have to share with you a conversation we had last Sunday. The woman who reached out to so many to ask them to rally around her husband sat me down to have a talk. She said, "I don't know what you are feeling, I have not lost my Mom. I can only imagine how hard it must be. Please know I will do anything I can to help you." Wow! The demonstration of unconditional love, humility, meekness, servant hood...Wow! She didn't have all of the answers; in fact she acknowledged that she didn't have any of the answers. She recognized the pain and simply offered to help any way she could. A great lesson to her man, a great lesson for us all. We don't have to have all of the answers; we simply have to love, be humble in spirit and willing to serve.

The other thing I want to touch on briefly is the friends that have reached out. The love and support has truly been overwhelming...again, I am truly blessed beyond measure. The thing that is on my heart this morning however is not the words that any of them spoke, it is the fact that they reached out. That is all. Some I didn't even get to talk to, they simply left a message or sent a text. It matters Friends. We don't have to impart some great words of wisdom, sometimes we can't fix what is broken...all of us have the ability to just be there. If your heart tells you to call someone or send them a text, please do it. You don't have to be a great philosopher, you don't have to be a great comedian, you don't have to be anything. You simply have to care. God will take care of the rest. How about that for a great Friday challenge? The person that is on your heart right now...give 'em a call, shoot them an email, send them a text. If you do it, I assure you both of your lives will be blessed.

Please feel free to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Friday, April 3, 2015

Mom

Good Morning Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful, glorious day!

Friends, my heart is full this morning. There are so many things I want to tell you, so much I want to share. This post has been developed over the past 47 years. My thoughts are clear however they are many. My Spirit has great peace and yet my heart aches. I have prayed over this Happy Friday, I have asked God to lead me and to speak to you as He will. I am writing this post in honor of the first woman I ever loved, my Mom.

Late last night my Mom, Alma Sue Haslam, (she would give me "that look" if she knew I used Alma...we won't be doing that any more!)our Grammy, passed away.  Now if you don't read anymore, if you don't hear anything else, please hear this, please just read these first few paragraphs. We believe in God, we believe in Jesus, we believe in the Holy Spirit and we believe in the Bible. My Mom had confessed the fact that she was a sinner, she asked Jesus into her heart, she asked God to be the Lord of her life and she was led by the Holy Spirit as she pursued Christ daily. With this we believe at this very moment she is in Heaven, she is finally Home. It is funny; the last week of her life the doctor would ask her what she wanted. She would say, "I want to go Home." He finally figured out that he needed to clarify whether she meant her earthly home or her Heavenly home. Most of the time she meant her Heavenly home. Mom knew where she was going and she was so excited to go.

This morning I was reading my Bible.  Here is what God's word said:

Luke 10: 25-28 (NIV)
25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

And that was Grammy, loving the Lord her God with all her heart, with all her soul, with all her strength, with all her mind and loving her neighbors as herself. Thank you God for sending your Son Jesus so this is possible for all of us! Good for you Mom...I can see the beautiful, excited smile on your face as I type these words!

Over the course of the past week I have spent a lot of time thinking & praying. I have long recognized that God blessed me richly by choosing Grammy - the moment Kath & I had kids she was no longer Mom...she was always Grammy - to be my Mom. We share a special bond...I really don't know how to describe it. It was just...real, beautiful, special, unconditional love.

There are two things that my heart is screaming at me to share with you, two things that became crystal clear to me over the course of this past week.

1. As a little boy, when I was worried, scared, having a bad day, etc. I would talk to my Mom. I would share my deepest, darkest thoughts. We would talk everything through and then she would say, "Robby [my middle name is Robert, her term of endearment with me was Robby], you put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step and you make this a great day. I love you." As I grew into a man, got married, started my own family, the talks became less (I am going to touch on that more here in a moment) however when they did happen, she ALWAYS ended the same way, "Robby, you put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step and you make this a great day. I love you." Even when I didn't talk to her about a problem, challenge or worry I could still hear her whispering those beautiful, strong words in my ear...I do even now as I type these words.

Know this Friends, if you have ever found me positive, encouraging...you can thank my Mom. Is it coincidence that a little boy whose Mom whispered these words to him repeatedly has grown into a man who believes to the depth of his core that it his life purpose to encourage, empower & equip others to become the best they can become? You see, the Great Encourager gave that little boy the perfect Mom for him, she allowed God to transform her and that little boy and now we get to share our love story with you. We have found that with faith (put a smile on your face), hope (a bounce in your step) & love (make it a great day) we can face each and every day.

As for the talks becoming less; my Mom loved me enough to let me go, to grow to become the Godly man God created me to become. I always knew that my Mom was there and I could talk to her if I needed. She & I also knew that God gave me an incredible gift, a wife that I was now to share my heart with, to be the one who I turned to when I needed to talk. We also knew that He placed men in my life that were there to help me grow as a man, to hold me accountable, to do life with. I knew it took great strength to let me go, I never imagined how much strength it took until it was now my turn to let her go. Just as she knew I loved her completely, unconditionally, I know she loved me the same. I loved her enough to honor her every request to the very end, whether I agreed or not is irrelevant, and to tell her it was o.k. to let go, to go Home. My heart hurts just as I know hers did. I have great peace knowing that I did the right thing, just as I know she did.

2. Being a little boy in my Mom's house was fun. You never knew who my Mom would bring home, have talked to, etc. My Mom really did look for the good in everyone and would do anything she could to help anyone. This was modeled to me every single day of my life. I am keenly aware of the impact she had on my life in this area...I learned it all from her. At times her words would betray her however her actions NEVER did. She epitomized "love thy neighbor." I pray that one day I can be half of what she was in this area. Selfless, caring, giving...all words that describe my beautiful Mom.

Again, is it a coincidence that a man who grew up with a Mom that really believed every life matters, that there is good in everyone, that we should always help people any way we can has grown into a man who has a job where he is supposed to build relationships with everyone, to look for and find the good in others and to help them fulfill their purpose and empower others to do the same? It truly blows me away to think of the impact that she had, the lives she has touch - by herself & through me. What a great, great gift God gave this world when He created my Mom.

There are two challenges/two thoughts my Mom & I would like to share with you this morning:
1. Never doubt that you are influencing lives...especially if you have the honor & privilege of someone calling you Mom or Dad. I can't pure heartedly tell you that my Mom's words of encouragement where always met with affirmation from me. I can't pure heartedly tell you that I always saw the good in everyone she saw, that I always wanted to help everyone she wanted to help. I can tell you with 100% certainty however that a little boy was watching, an adolescent was watching and upon reflection, a grown man has realized he got it and he got it because a beautiful woman faithfully walked it out every single day of her life. She determined what her influence would be, regardless of my reactions. You and I must do the same.

2. My Mom was not perfect. She had faults, failures & fears, just as we all do. One thing about my Mom & I however is we were 100% committed to each other every single day of our lives. She loved me enough to let me go, to tell me when I was being stupid, to challenge what I was doing, etc. As I grew as a man I learned to do the same in a loving, respectful manner. We would get mad at each other to be sure however we always loved each other enough to talk it out, always. I share this with you because something else that has been very profound to me this past week is I have absolutely no regrets, not one. There is not a "I wish I would have told her" or "I wish I would have done." I told her I loved her, I told her what I thought, I did the things I felt convicted to do in my spirit...all of this freed me to simply honor her and do everything I could to help her pass from this life to the next with the honor & dignity she deserved. Please Friends, don't live this life with regrets. Love enough to have the tough conversations, to forgive. Care enough to fight for the relationships, not against them. None of us are perfect and, quite honestly, Mom & I are probably at the bottom half of the spectrum...with me lower than her. We simply had a perfect love for one another. 

I am telling you, my Mom would not want you or I to be sad. She would get this funny look on her face, her eyes would get big and then they would kinda squint as she squished her face together and say in a disgusted voice, "Why are you sad? I am so happy!" Kath, the boys and I are now going to go eat crab & crawfish at the restaurant my Mom just took us to two short week ago - yes, I learned loving to go out to eat with family & friends from her too! - and celebrate! Heaven has received a beautiful new Angel and her name is Mom.

Now Friends, put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step and you go out and make this a great day!

Kev