I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful, glorious day!
Friends, my heart is full this morning. There are so many things I want to tell you, so much I want to share. This post has been developed over the past 47 years. My thoughts are clear however they are many. My Spirit has great peace and yet my heart aches. I have prayed over this Happy Friday, I have asked God to lead me and to speak to you as He will. I am writing this post in honor of the first woman I ever loved, my Mom.
Late last night my Mom, Alma Sue Haslam, (she would give me "that look" if she knew I used Alma...we won't be doing that any more!)our Grammy, passed away. Now if you don't read anymore, if you don't hear anything else, please hear this, please just read these first few paragraphs. We believe in God, we believe in Jesus, we believe in the Holy Spirit and we believe in the Bible. My Mom had confessed the fact that she was a sinner, she asked Jesus into her heart, she asked God to be the Lord of her life and she was led by the Holy Spirit as she pursued Christ daily. With this we believe at this very moment she is in Heaven, she is finally Home. It is funny; the last week of her life the doctor would ask her what she wanted. She would say, "I want to go Home." He finally figured out that he needed to clarify whether she meant her earthly home or her Heavenly home. Most of the time she meant her Heavenly home. Mom knew where she was going and she was so excited to go.
This morning I was reading my Bible. Here is what God's word said:
Luke 10: 25-28 (NIV)
25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
And that was Grammy, loving the Lord her God with all her heart, with all her soul, with all her strength, with all her mind and loving her neighbors as herself. Thank you God for sending your Son Jesus so this is possible for all of us! Good for you Mom...I can see the beautiful, excited smile on your face as I type these words!
Over the course of the past week I have spent a lot of time thinking & praying. I have long recognized that God blessed me richly by choosing Grammy - the moment Kath & I had kids she was no longer Mom...she was always Grammy - to be my Mom. We share a special bond...I really don't know how to describe it. It was just...real, beautiful, special, unconditional love.
There are two things that my heart is screaming at me to share with you, two things that became crystal clear to me over the course of this past week.
1. As a little boy, when I was worried, scared, having a bad day, etc. I would talk to my Mom. I would share my deepest, darkest thoughts. We would talk everything through and then she would say, "Robby [my middle name is Robert, her term of endearment with me was Robby], you put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step and you make this a great day. I love you." As I grew into a man, got married, started my own family, the talks became less (I am going to touch on that more here in a moment) however when they did happen, she ALWAYS ended the same way, "Robby, you put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step and you make this a great day. I love you." Even when I didn't talk to her about a problem, challenge or worry I could still hear her whispering those beautiful, strong words in my ear...I do even now as I type these words.
Know this Friends, if you have ever found me positive, encouraging...you can thank my Mom. Is it coincidence that a little boy whose Mom whispered these words to him repeatedly has grown into a man who believes to the depth of his core that it his life purpose to encourage, empower & equip others to become the best they can become? You see, the Great Encourager gave that little boy the perfect Mom for him, she allowed God to transform her and that little boy and now we get to share our love story with you. We have found that with faith (put a smile on your face), hope (a bounce in your step) & love (make it a great day) we can face each and every day.
As for the talks becoming less; my Mom loved me enough to let me go, to grow to become the Godly man God created me to become. I always knew that my Mom was there and I could talk to her if I needed. She & I also knew that God gave me an incredible gift, a wife that I was now to share my heart with, to be the one who I turned to when I needed to talk. We also knew that He placed men in my life that were there to help me grow as a man, to hold me accountable, to do life with. I knew it took great strength to let me go, I never imagined how much strength it took until it was now my turn to let her go. Just as she knew I loved her completely, unconditionally, I know she loved me the same. I loved her enough to honor her every request to the very end, whether I agreed or not is irrelevant, and to tell her it was o.k. to let go, to go Home. My heart hurts just as I know hers did. I have great peace knowing that I did the right thing, just as I know she did.
2. Being a little boy in my Mom's house was fun. You never knew who my Mom would bring home, have talked to, etc. My Mom really did look for the good in everyone and would do anything she could to help anyone. This was modeled to me every single day of my life. I am keenly aware of the impact she had on my life in this area...I learned it all from her. At times her words would betray her however her actions NEVER did. She epitomized "love thy neighbor." I pray that one day I can be half of what she was in this area. Selfless, caring, giving...all words that describe my beautiful Mom.
Again, is it a coincidence that a man who grew up with a Mom that really believed every life matters, that there is good in everyone, that we should always help people any way we can has grown into a man who has a job where he is supposed to build relationships with everyone, to look for and find the good in others and to help them fulfill their purpose and empower others to do the same? It truly blows me away to think of the impact that she had, the lives she has touch - by herself & through me. What a great, great gift God gave this world when He created my Mom.
There are two challenges/two thoughts my Mom & I would like to share with you this morning:
1. Never doubt that you are influencing lives...especially if you have the honor & privilege of someone calling you Mom or Dad. I can't pure heartedly tell you that my Mom's words of encouragement where always met with affirmation from me. I can't pure heartedly tell you that I always saw the good in everyone she saw, that I always wanted to help everyone she wanted to help. I can tell you with 100% certainty however that a little boy was watching, an adolescent was watching and upon reflection, a grown man has realized he got it and he got it because a beautiful woman faithfully walked it out every single day of her life. She determined what her influence would be, regardless of my reactions. You and I must do the same.
2. My Mom was not perfect. She had faults, failures & fears, just as we all do. One thing about my Mom & I however is we were 100% committed to each other every single day of our lives. She loved me enough to let me go, to tell me when I was being stupid, to challenge what I was doing, etc. As I grew as a man I learned to do the same in a loving, respectful manner. We would get mad at each other to be sure however we always loved each other enough to talk it out, always. I share this with you because something else that has been very profound to me this past week is I have absolutely no regrets, not one. There is not a "I wish I would have told her" or "I wish I would have done." I told her I loved her, I told her what I thought, I did the things I felt convicted to do in my spirit...all of this freed me to simply honor her and do everything I could to help her pass from this life to the next with the honor & dignity she deserved. Please Friends, don't live this life with regrets. Love enough to have the tough conversations, to forgive. Care enough to fight for the relationships, not against them. None of us are perfect and, quite honestly, Mom & I are probably at the bottom half of the spectrum...with me lower than her. We simply had a perfect love for one another.
I am telling you, my Mom would not want you or I to be sad. She would get this funny look on her face, her eyes would get big and then they would kinda squint as she squished her face together and say in a disgusted voice, "Why are you sad? I am so happy!" Kath, the boys and I are now going to go eat crab & crawfish at the restaurant my Mom just took us to two short week ago - yes, I learned loving to go out to eat with family & friends from her too! - and celebrate! Heaven has received a beautiful new Angel and her name is Mom.
Now Friends, put a smile on your face, a bounce in your step and you go out and make this a great day!
Kev
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