The Process

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day!

So what do you do when you have been away from your family since Monday morning, you are at the airport and your flight is delayed for nearly 3 hours? Why you type Happy Friday on your iPhone of course! Please give me some grace here as my iPhone, at least to this point, is killin me!

Tonight I want to talk about process. Everyone is always so very interested in outcomes however it is the process, the things we do every single day, that determine the outcome(s). Wouldn't it make sense then that we start there, with the process? It also strikes me as ironic, being in the heart of football season, that one of the top college teams - Alabama - and one of the top pro teams - New England - is notorious for preaching, in words & actions, process and yet their coaches are ridiculed for it. Interesting...

Let me start simple, with things we will all feel comfortable with. At work, there are outcomes that we are all striving to achieve. Just as the football teams want to win, everyone wants to win. If you look at the desired outcome and then back away from the desired outcome and look at the various steps along the way, you will identify the process by which the "wins" will be achieved. The better you become at the process, the more you "win." You don't "win" by going into work and saying, "I wanna win!" or, "I hope we win." You go into work and you do the things necessary to accomplish the "win." You & I can talk all we want. If we don't do the things necessary to be successful, we won't be successful, at least not on a consistent basis.

Let me make it a lot more complex...let's talk about our relationships, particularly those with our spouses/partners and/or kids. There is a process there as well. Everyone wants to have a good realationship with their spouse/partner and kids. But who is working the process to have these types of relationships? I can't just walk in the door and expect my wife to be happy to see me, for us to have a great relationship simply because I am me. There is an investment of time, a commitment to her, to her wants, needs, concerns & desires. It is a million little things, repeated time and time again, which communicate I love you, I am here for you, I am committed to us, I believe in you. As foolish as it is for a boss to focus only on outcomes, it is equally foolish for the spouse to do the same. The relationship isn't what you want? Then please take a look at what you are doing, what YOU and not the other person, is doing every day. Outcomes don't happen by accident...they are a result of the process.

And let's talk about kids. The first thing I want to point out is the quote, I believe John C. Maxwell said it though I am not sure...just know it wasn't me, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Do our kids know we love them? Unconditionally? Are we their greatest champion? Do we believe in them unconditionally? Do we believe in, and encourage them to pursue, their dreams? We need to start there! If they don't know these things to the depths of their core, we are not going to attain the desired outcome, no matter how hard we work. And you know what? If they know these things, no matter the outcome of anything they strive to achieve in life - success or failure - they will succeed in life because they know they have you...unconditionally.

In an era when everyone wants to focus on the outcome, the result, the "win," let's be different. Let's focus on the processes that lead to our desired outcomes. We want a great relationship...lets pour ourselves tirelessly, selflessly into that person/those people. Let's not focus on what we want but on what they want, and most importantly, what they need from us. The same applies to literally every aspect of our lives. Let's stop focusing on the result and focus on the processes that produce the result. This is why/how success is found in the journey, not the destination. I can't promise you that every outcome will be exactly what you want or hope. I can guarantee you that more often than not the outcome will be in your favor and, most importantly, you will have become the best you are capable of becoming within each and every one of your endeavors. In my opinion, this is the epitome of success.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can.

So at this point I have to smile and tell you things don't always go the way we hope/want. The above text was all typed on my iPhone on Thursday night, sitting in the airport in Tulsa, OK waiting out a delayed flight. Right as I finished typing "help you any way I can," my flight went from delayed to cancelled. I have never experienced this before. All I wanted to do was get home to my family, looking forward to the day off on Friday that I was taking with my Beautiful Bride. About 3 hours later I finally found my way to the hotel, got up early yesterday morning, caught a flight home and finally arrived home before Noon. With this, Happy Friday is being finished on a Saturday morning as opposed to a Thursday night. Oh well...

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev