Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day on this beautiful Saturday morning! The last 24 - 48 hours have been a whirlwind! I now find myself scrambling to get this Happy Friday out so I can head off to watch Gehrig play baseball. The crazy, blessed life of being a Dad!
This morning I just want to share a couple of friendly reminders, encouragers really, and put my heart out there to share a lesson I learned this week.
This first reminder flew at me in a couple of different ways this week. Have you heard the expression, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"? I want to back the up even one more step...think, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." It seems to me that we must first seek to understand before we can ever get to the point of being kind, considerate or compassionate.
So how does this play itself out in real life? Perhaps a co-worker fires off a nasty email to you. Or maybe your spouse/partner/son/daughter/friend snaps at you. I am sure, like me, you simply smile and demonstrate all kinds of love, mercy & grace...right?!?! Hardly!! The reaction is probably more like the favorite expression of our beloved neighbor, "What the hell?" And then the fight is on, right?! We fire back with an email or smart remark. Nobody wins...
I want to encourage us to pause for a moment and seek to understand what is causing this persons words & actions. The cries for understanding & compassion take on many forms. People are walking around with gaping psychological & emotional wounds. They speak & act from these points of brokenness because, well, that is who they are right now in this season of their life. We, in these encounters, have the opportunity to heal or further wound.
I spoke to a woman this week whose parents told her at 16-years old that she would never amount to anything in this life. I have spoken to a man who has battled addiction and is struggling to find work. I have spoken to a person, a couple actually, who are fighting incredible battles in the workplace. You think their approach is, "Hey Kev, it's all sunshine & roses buddy! Ain't life great." Heck no! They are hurting, they are broken and they are struggling to find their way.
Now this doesn't all mean that it is o.k. for anyone to be rude, mean or disrespectful to anyone. I am not advocating for anyone to put themselves in unsafe situations. I am saying if we will just slow down for a moment, really try to understand the person and what is happening in their lives we will be in a better position to act from a place of love, mercy & grace. Yes, I will have to set my ego aside. Yes, I will have to swallow my pride. As I type this I think, what is more important, my ego & pride or the life of another human being? Pretty humbling...
I also want to encourage you to pursue your hopes, goals & dreams. If it is burning, even if it is only so slightly, in the depths of your soul, please pursue it. I cannot guarantee that you will achieve whatever it is you desire however I can guarantee that if you will pursue it the journey will be worthwhile. You will have to slay the great monsters of worry, fear & discouragement. You will find within yourself courage, strength & hope you never knew you had. While you might not accomplish the ultimate goal you have in mind, you will become more of the person you were created to be in the pursuit of that goal.
I feel I must also say this; never speak again about not accomplishing the ultimate goal. We have addressed the fact that attainment of the goal is not guaranteed however from this point forward we are going to speak life into our hopes, goals & dreams all the time, every day. And we are going to trust that the Lord will lead, guide & direct as we pursue that path. We are going to live in this day, this moment, and faithfully pursue the greatness that is within us. That is all...nothing more, nothing less. Please reminder Friends, God has given us the strength & wisdom for this day, not tomorrow. Live in this day and then wake up tomorrow and do the same thing again. We string all those days together on our path and we will find ourselves standing at the pinnacle of our hopes, goals & dreams. However we have to start climbing...
And finally, I am going to share a lesson learned by yours truly this week. I took Thursday off as Gehrig was the opening day starter for his baseball team and, playing in a tournament, their game was at 11:00 a.m. The day started off great, I was so excited and really looking forward to the day. I got up early and did my normal morning routine - read, pray, workout. My Beautiful Bride and I had a great hour long drive to the game, talking and just enjoying our time together. We got there early, greeted the other parents, truly enjoying a beautiful, sunny, 80 degree day.
Gehrig looked good. Fastball was poppin, curveball was curvin and slider was slidin. In the 1st inning an opposing runner reaches 1st on an error. The other team then attempts a bunt and the runner takes off for 2nd. The catcher picks up the ball and throws it to 1st but it gets there late. Then the umpire on the bases says something, tells the runner to stay at 2nd and sends the batter back to hit. Both coaches come out however we cannot hear them and nobody knows what is happening.
The game resumes. Gehrig goes into his windup and the umpire on the bases throws up his arms and yells "balk!" He tells the runner on 2nd to go to 3rd. It is then that I realize that this is what happened a moment ago. He has called 2 balks on Gehrig moving the runner from 1st to 3rd. I haven't seen a balk and the umpire has called 2! We survive the 1st inning giving up only one run and the game is tied 1 - 1.
Gehrig is cruising going 3 up, 3 down in the 2nd and then gives up one hit and then gets out of the 3rd without giving up a run. After 3 1/2 inning we are winning 2-1.
And then there was the 4th inning. We mis-played a couple of balls and Gehrig was called for two more balks by the umpire on the bases, one bringing in a runner from 3rd. It was a painful inning to watch. Our fans were completely confused as it did not look like Gehrig was balking, the other players started harassing Gehrig mercilessly and we kept making silly little mistakes. The inning blew up. We ended up giving up 4 more runs.
I made a few comments, nothing inappropriate or over the top, however I was very frustrated and I felt horrible for G. While my outward appearance and actions were appropriate & acceptable, I did not like the feeling in my heart & spirit. I am reminded of 1 Samuel 16: 7 which says, "But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
For the better part of the next 24 hours God & I spoke a lot about the game and, more importantly, how I had allowed this to affect my heart. It may sound or seem funny to you however to me, the battle was real. While I know nobody would say I said or did anything wrong, my heart felt wrong and to me, this is what matters most. I am also reminded that today is a new day, made by the Lord. He & I have dealt appropriately with my heart over the way I had reacted 2 days ago and I am looking forward to going to these ballgames today. Philippians 4 :13 tells me, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Including staying peaceful at a baseball game...even if the umpire is terrible & those were not balks! :) Come on, God gave us a sense of humor and, since we are created in His image, this means He has one too. My heart feels good in telling you that... :)
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families & Go Creek!
Kev
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Friday, February 17, 2017
Time to Train
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn.
This morning I simply want to a share a message with you. The message was written by Dr. R. Kent Hughes, a senior pastor emeritus of College Church in Wheaton, Illinois, and visiting professor of practical theology at Westminister Theological Seminary in Philadelphia. What I am sharing is a post adapted from Dr. Hughes tract "10 Disciplines of a Godly Man" by Crossway. You can find Crossway at crossway.org.
I have read and thought about this piece numerous times this week. You know how you find something or see something and it is so good, so exciting that you just have to tell your family, friends...the people you care about? Ya, that is the heart with which I share Dr. Hughes' message with you this morning.
"Men, we will never get anywhere in life without discipline, and doubly so in spiritual matters. None of us is inherently righteous, so Paul’s instructions regarding spiritual discipline in 1 Timothy 4:7–8 take on personal urgency: “Train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." That word “train” comes from the Greek word from which we derive gymnasium. So, I invite you into God’s Gym—to some pain and great gain!
1. Discipline of PuritySensuality is the biggest obstacle to godliness among Christian men. The fall of King David should not only instruct us but scare the sensuality right out of us! Fill yourself with God’s Word—memorize passages like 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8, Job 31:1, Proverbs 6:27, Ephesians 5:3–7, and 2 Timothy 2:22. Find someone who will help you keep your soul faithful to God. A pure mind is impossible if you mindlessly watch TV and movies or visit pornographic websites (1 Thess. 4:3–7). Develop the divine awareness that sustained Joseph: “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” (Gen. 39:9).
2. Discipline of RelationshipsTo be all God wants you to be, put some holy sweat into your relationships! If you’re married, you need to live out Ephesians 5:25–31: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (v. 25). For those who are fathers, God provides a workout in one pungent sentence: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Relationships are not optional (Heb. 10:25); they enable us to develop into what God wants us to be and most effectively learn and live God’s truth.
3. Discipline of MindThe potential of possessing the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16) introduces the scandal of today’s church—Christians who do not think Christianly, leaving our minds undisciplined. The Apostle Paul understood this well: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Phil. 4:8). Each ingredient is a matter of personal choice. You can never have a Christian mind without reading the Scriptures regularly because you cannot be influenced by that which you do not know.
4. Discipline of DevotionReading God’s Word is essential, but meditation internalizes the Word and responds, “I desire to do your will, O my God” (Ps. 40:8). Beyond instructions like Ephesians 6:18–20, there are two great reasons to pray. The more we expose our lives to the white-hot sun of Christ’s righteous life, the more his image will be burned into our character. The second reason is that prayer bends our wills to God’s will. Many men never have an effective devotional life because they never plan for it; they never expose their lives to his pure light.
5. Discipline of IntegrityWe can hardly overstate the importance of integrity to a generation of believers so much like the world in ethical conduct. But integrity’s benefits—character, a clear conscience, deep intimacy with God—argue its importance. We must let God’s Word draw our lines of conduct. Our speech and actions must be intentionally true (Prov. 12:22; Eph. 4:15), backed by the courage to keep our word and stand up for our convictions (Ps. 15:4). An old saying sums it up: “Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.”
6. Discipline of Tongue“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26). The true test of a man’s spirituality is not his ability to speak, but rather his ability to bridle his tongue! Offered to God on the altar, the tongue has awesome power for good. There must be an ongoing prayerfulness and resolve to discipline ourselves: “Who keeps the tongue doth keep his soul.”
7. Discipline of WorkWe meet God, the Creator, as a worker in Gen. 1:1–2:2. Since “God created man in his own image” (1:27), the way we work will reveal how much we allow the image of God to develop in us. There is no secular/sacred distinction; all honest work ought to be done to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31). We must recover the biblical truth that our vocation is a divine calling and thus be liberated to do it for the glory of God.
8. Discipline of PerseveranceHebrews 12:1–3 presents a picture of perseverance in four commands. Divest! “Lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely” (v. 1). That includes besetting sin, and anything else that hinders. Run! “. . . with endurance the race that is set before us” (v. 1). Each of us can finish our race (see also 2 Tim. 4:7). Focus! “Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith” (v. 2). There never was a millisecond that he did not trust the Father. Consider! Our life is to be spent considering how Jesus lived (v. 3).
9. Discipline of ChurchYou don’t have to go to church to be a Christian; you don’t have to go home to be married. But in both cases if you do not, you will have a very poor relationship! You will never attain your full spiritual manhood, nor will your family reach its spiritual maturity without commitment to the church. Find a good church, join it, and commit yourself to it wholeheartedly. Your participation should include financial support, but it should also include giving your time, talents, expertise, and creativity to the glory of God.
10. Discipline of GivingHow can we escape the power of materialism? By giving from a heart overflowing with God’s grace, like the believers in Macedonia who “gave themselves first to the Lord” (2 Cor. 8:5): this is where grace giving must begin. Giving disarms the power of money. Though giving should be regular, it should also be spontaneous and responsive to needs. And it should be joyous—“God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7). And Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).
As we sweat out the disciplines of a godly man, remember, with Paul, what energizes us to live them out—“not I, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Cor. 15:10)."
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!
Kev
I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn.
This morning I simply want to a share a message with you. The message was written by Dr. R. Kent Hughes, a senior pastor emeritus of College Church in Wheaton, Illinois, and visiting professor of practical theology at Westminister Theological Seminary in Philadelphia. What I am sharing is a post adapted from Dr. Hughes tract "10 Disciplines of a Godly Man" by Crossway. You can find Crossway at crossway.org.
I have read and thought about this piece numerous times this week. You know how you find something or see something and it is so good, so exciting that you just have to tell your family, friends...the people you care about? Ya, that is the heart with which I share Dr. Hughes' message with you this morning.
10 Disciplines of a Godly Man
1. Discipline of PuritySensuality is the biggest obstacle to godliness among Christian men. The fall of King David should not only instruct us but scare the sensuality right out of us! Fill yourself with God’s Word—memorize passages like 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8, Job 31:1, Proverbs 6:27, Ephesians 5:3–7, and 2 Timothy 2:22. Find someone who will help you keep your soul faithful to God. A pure mind is impossible if you mindlessly watch TV and movies or visit pornographic websites (1 Thess. 4:3–7). Develop the divine awareness that sustained Joseph: “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” (Gen. 39:9).
2. Discipline of RelationshipsTo be all God wants you to be, put some holy sweat into your relationships! If you’re married, you need to live out Ephesians 5:25–31: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (v. 25). For those who are fathers, God provides a workout in one pungent sentence: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Relationships are not optional (Heb. 10:25); they enable us to develop into what God wants us to be and most effectively learn and live God’s truth.
3. Discipline of MindThe potential of possessing the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16) introduces the scandal of today’s church—Christians who do not think Christianly, leaving our minds undisciplined. The Apostle Paul understood this well: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Phil. 4:8). Each ingredient is a matter of personal choice. You can never have a Christian mind without reading the Scriptures regularly because you cannot be influenced by that which you do not know.
4. Discipline of DevotionReading God’s Word is essential, but meditation internalizes the Word and responds, “I desire to do your will, O my God” (Ps. 40:8). Beyond instructions like Ephesians 6:18–20, there are two great reasons to pray. The more we expose our lives to the white-hot sun of Christ’s righteous life, the more his image will be burned into our character. The second reason is that prayer bends our wills to God’s will. Many men never have an effective devotional life because they never plan for it; they never expose their lives to his pure light.
5. Discipline of IntegrityWe can hardly overstate the importance of integrity to a generation of believers so much like the world in ethical conduct. But integrity’s benefits—character, a clear conscience, deep intimacy with God—argue its importance. We must let God’s Word draw our lines of conduct. Our speech and actions must be intentionally true (Prov. 12:22; Eph. 4:15), backed by the courage to keep our word and stand up for our convictions (Ps. 15:4). An old saying sums it up: “Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.”
6. Discipline of Tongue“If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26). The true test of a man’s spirituality is not his ability to speak, but rather his ability to bridle his tongue! Offered to God on the altar, the tongue has awesome power for good. There must be an ongoing prayerfulness and resolve to discipline ourselves: “Who keeps the tongue doth keep his soul.”
7. Discipline of WorkWe meet God, the Creator, as a worker in Gen. 1:1–2:2. Since “God created man in his own image” (1:27), the way we work will reveal how much we allow the image of God to develop in us. There is no secular/sacred distinction; all honest work ought to be done to the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31). We must recover the biblical truth that our vocation is a divine calling and thus be liberated to do it for the glory of God.
8. Discipline of PerseveranceHebrews 12:1–3 presents a picture of perseverance in four commands. Divest! “Lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely” (v. 1). That includes besetting sin, and anything else that hinders. Run! “. . . with endurance the race that is set before us” (v. 1). Each of us can finish our race (see also 2 Tim. 4:7). Focus! “Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith” (v. 2). There never was a millisecond that he did not trust the Father. Consider! Our life is to be spent considering how Jesus lived (v. 3).
9. Discipline of ChurchYou don’t have to go to church to be a Christian; you don’t have to go home to be married. But in both cases if you do not, you will have a very poor relationship! You will never attain your full spiritual manhood, nor will your family reach its spiritual maturity without commitment to the church. Find a good church, join it, and commit yourself to it wholeheartedly. Your participation should include financial support, but it should also include giving your time, talents, expertise, and creativity to the glory of God.
10. Discipline of GivingHow can we escape the power of materialism? By giving from a heart overflowing with God’s grace, like the believers in Macedonia who “gave themselves first to the Lord” (2 Cor. 8:5): this is where grace giving must begin. Giving disarms the power of money. Though giving should be regular, it should also be spontaneous and responsive to needs. And it should be joyous—“God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7). And Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).
As we sweat out the disciplines of a godly man, remember, with Paul, what energizes us to live them out—“not I, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Cor. 15:10)."
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!
Kev
Friday, February 10, 2017
Why Do You Do What You Do?
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as the beautiful new day dawns!
This morning I want to pour out my heart for a little but and then share a thought with you.
What are my beliefs, the convictions of my heart & Spirit, that drive my actions every day? There are reasons why we do the things we do, or don't do some things. Each one of us, if we could strip away the layers, has a reason, a why, for our actions & words. This morning I am going to put some of mine out there.
1. I believe that every person's life has value & meaning, that there is a purpose for them to fulfill on their life journey. Some need help finding their purpose. Some need encouragement to rise up again and pursue their purpose. Whatever their story, the hurts, struggles or pain, they are valuable, their life matters and their is a purpose within their heart that they are called to fulfill. This drives me...
2. I also know that life is tough. People do mean things. Hearts, Spirits, minds & bodies get broken. What then? Who is going to lift up & encourage? Who is going to be the one others can lean on, so they can catch their breath for a moment? Who is going to be the one to remind us of who we really are? God gave me the heart of an encourager...to look past the faults, failures & difficulties and to see the potential. This drives me...
3. I know, from life experience & Godly wisdom, that the things we fill our hearts, minds & Spirits with dictate our thoughts, words & actions which in turn, dictate the quality of life we live. During a conversation with God as I drove to Tucson one day, complaining to Him about all the negativity that floods people's lives, I felt a conviction in my Spirit that said, "What Will Your Influence Be...?" I made a vow to God that every day, as long as I lived, I would do everything I could do to put positive, encouraging thoughts & ideas before people. While I can't make them read these things, I can't own what anyone else does, I can choose to intentionally put a positive word or thought out there every day. This drives me...
4. I know that feelings can be fickle things. I don't wake up every day feeling happy, feeling excited, feeling optimistic. There are many mornings when I walk to my chair where I sit and do my morning readings feeling lower than a snakes belly. I can be worried, stressed, fearful. I know I need God, His word, His perspective, His insight and I need Jesus. This drives me...
5. I figured out that God was continually putting me in positions of leadership, to have influence in the lives of others. I was also acutely aware that I often felt so inadequate to fulfill the roles He was blessing me with. One night, when my Beautiful Bride, Kathy, and I were on vacation, I was talking to God. At the time I told God, "I don't know if I am supposed to be a Coach or not. I do know that You continually place me in positions of leadership. From this day forth I promise you Lord, I will study leadership. I will read. I will learn as much as I can to develop as a leader." This drives me...
6. God has also given me a heart for men, husband & fathers. It started in a little boy who just wanted his Dad to love him. To play catch with him. To be proud of him. This heart continued to grow in a boy, without anyone to show him what a real man looked like, who tried to figure it out on his own and did a ton of really stupid things in this quest. It soared in a young man, who looked into the precious eyes of his first born son, feeling the enormity of the responsibility of this precious gift who was now fully dependent on me. This drives me...
So what drives you Friends? What is the reason why you do what you do? Have you ever stopped and thought about it? If not, I would really encourage you to do so. Chances are pretty good that you will finds some things that you thoughtlessly do out of habit. I want to push back against you a little bit on that. Why? Because quite simply Friend, your life is far too valuable to live that way.
I also want to share a thought with you. I almost talked about this last week, perhaps I did touch on it a little. It then flashed before me again this week and I knew I just had to share this thought/perspective with you.
I don't know about you but for a large portion of my life I thought that the really good relationships I had with people were the one's were there was no problems, no conflicts. Perhaps it was because of how problems & conflicts were handled when I was a boy...I just wanted to be good enough. I didn't want to cause problems, issues, etc. However I have learned that this is a very flawed belief. The most valuable, meaningful relationships I have are with people who I have been through some stuff with. Every day wasn't great however every day we committed to doing life together. Sometimes we got mad at each other. Sometimes we laughed. Sometimes we cried. Sometimes we yelled. And sometimes, for a short period of time, we wouldn't even talk to each other.
Life isn't easy for anyone and when you have any two people trying to do life together, it can get downright messy. And this morning I want to tell you, that's a good thing! Get down in the mess, climb around in the mud, snot bubbles and all! A real key in all this is that we fight for our relationships - which means we are willing to have the tough conversations, that we are willing to do & say things that might not be most comfortable for us, individually - and not against each other. When you have a real friend, you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to have all the answers and you don't have to be something you are not. My family is not perfect. We have lots of scars, we have climbed through a lot of mud and there have been more than our fair share of tears. I love each one of them with all my heart and there is nothing I would not do for them.
So here is a perspective shift for you. The next time things start to get a little messy, don't pull back, assuming that the relationship is broken...perhaps it's really just getting ready to grow.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as the beautiful new day dawns!
This morning I want to pour out my heart for a little but and then share a thought with you.
What are my beliefs, the convictions of my heart & Spirit, that drive my actions every day? There are reasons why we do the things we do, or don't do some things. Each one of us, if we could strip away the layers, has a reason, a why, for our actions & words. This morning I am going to put some of mine out there.
1. I believe that every person's life has value & meaning, that there is a purpose for them to fulfill on their life journey. Some need help finding their purpose. Some need encouragement to rise up again and pursue their purpose. Whatever their story, the hurts, struggles or pain, they are valuable, their life matters and their is a purpose within their heart that they are called to fulfill. This drives me...
2. I also know that life is tough. People do mean things. Hearts, Spirits, minds & bodies get broken. What then? Who is going to lift up & encourage? Who is going to be the one others can lean on, so they can catch their breath for a moment? Who is going to be the one to remind us of who we really are? God gave me the heart of an encourager...to look past the faults, failures & difficulties and to see the potential. This drives me...
3. I know, from life experience & Godly wisdom, that the things we fill our hearts, minds & Spirits with dictate our thoughts, words & actions which in turn, dictate the quality of life we live. During a conversation with God as I drove to Tucson one day, complaining to Him about all the negativity that floods people's lives, I felt a conviction in my Spirit that said, "What Will Your Influence Be...?" I made a vow to God that every day, as long as I lived, I would do everything I could do to put positive, encouraging thoughts & ideas before people. While I can't make them read these things, I can't own what anyone else does, I can choose to intentionally put a positive word or thought out there every day. This drives me...
4. I know that feelings can be fickle things. I don't wake up every day feeling happy, feeling excited, feeling optimistic. There are many mornings when I walk to my chair where I sit and do my morning readings feeling lower than a snakes belly. I can be worried, stressed, fearful. I know I need God, His word, His perspective, His insight and I need Jesus. This drives me...
5. I figured out that God was continually putting me in positions of leadership, to have influence in the lives of others. I was also acutely aware that I often felt so inadequate to fulfill the roles He was blessing me with. One night, when my Beautiful Bride, Kathy, and I were on vacation, I was talking to God. At the time I told God, "I don't know if I am supposed to be a Coach or not. I do know that You continually place me in positions of leadership. From this day forth I promise you Lord, I will study leadership. I will read. I will learn as much as I can to develop as a leader." This drives me...
6. God has also given me a heart for men, husband & fathers. It started in a little boy who just wanted his Dad to love him. To play catch with him. To be proud of him. This heart continued to grow in a boy, without anyone to show him what a real man looked like, who tried to figure it out on his own and did a ton of really stupid things in this quest. It soared in a young man, who looked into the precious eyes of his first born son, feeling the enormity of the responsibility of this precious gift who was now fully dependent on me. This drives me...
So what drives you Friends? What is the reason why you do what you do? Have you ever stopped and thought about it? If not, I would really encourage you to do so. Chances are pretty good that you will finds some things that you thoughtlessly do out of habit. I want to push back against you a little bit on that. Why? Because quite simply Friend, your life is far too valuable to live that way.
I also want to share a thought with you. I almost talked about this last week, perhaps I did touch on it a little. It then flashed before me again this week and I knew I just had to share this thought/perspective with you.
I don't know about you but for a large portion of my life I thought that the really good relationships I had with people were the one's were there was no problems, no conflicts. Perhaps it was because of how problems & conflicts were handled when I was a boy...I just wanted to be good enough. I didn't want to cause problems, issues, etc. However I have learned that this is a very flawed belief. The most valuable, meaningful relationships I have are with people who I have been through some stuff with. Every day wasn't great however every day we committed to doing life together. Sometimes we got mad at each other. Sometimes we laughed. Sometimes we cried. Sometimes we yelled. And sometimes, for a short period of time, we wouldn't even talk to each other.
Life isn't easy for anyone and when you have any two people trying to do life together, it can get downright messy. And this morning I want to tell you, that's a good thing! Get down in the mess, climb around in the mud, snot bubbles and all! A real key in all this is that we fight for our relationships - which means we are willing to have the tough conversations, that we are willing to do & say things that might not be most comfortable for us, individually - and not against each other. When you have a real friend, you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to have all the answers and you don't have to be something you are not. My family is not perfect. We have lots of scars, we have climbed through a lot of mud and there have been more than our fair share of tears. I love each one of them with all my heart and there is nothing I would not do for them.
So here is a perspective shift for you. The next time things start to get a little messy, don't pull back, assuming that the relationship is broken...perhaps it's really just getting ready to grow.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
Friday, February 3, 2017
Invest
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn! What a week! We had National Signing Day on Wednesday, which means hope abounds throughout college football programs across the country, and we have a Patriots win, I mean the Super Bowl, on Sunday! So awesome!
I thought this Happy Friday was going to be about the bonfire my youngest Tender Warrior, Landry, and I sat around last Saturday night. Yesterday, as I pondered this Happy Friday, I got a real strong conviction not about the bonfire itself but rather a couple of key points, lessons learned, from the bonfire.
Landry is going through some stuff. He is good, it will all be good however learning, growing and becoming all that we can become is a tough journey that all of us must navigate. I am privileged to be on this journey with him. We sat around that fire for over 2 hours, mostly just he and I, looking deep into each others eyes, pouring out our hearts & souls, sometimes laughing, sometimes filled with despair. Without all the answers our conversation ended with an appreciation of our love & commitment to one another.
So the convictions? The things I want to share with you? My heart is that this be for everyone, especially men, husbands & Dads.
1. Be there! Be fully there! Show up and be present! For anything to grow you have to invest in it. Think about the best, greatest, strongest relationships you have. They are not with the people that you walk by and say, "How are you?" and they say, "Great" with neither one of you really paying much attention to one another. No, the greatest relationships you & I have are with the people we got down into the mire & muck with. Life is messy and the very best relationships have some dirt, mud, perhaps sweat & tears, on them. So many of us are willing to be there for the "How are you's" but when it comes time to really show up and do life with people we are peculiarly absent. We then want to know why in the heck the relationship is no good. I think I have a good idea why a whole lot of us aren't there though, especially men, and this is the 2nd point...
2. You don't have to have all the answers...or pretend you do. None of us have all the answers and the only one we fool when we try to convince everyone else that we have all the answers is ourselves. It's o.k. to look deep into the eyes of another and say, "I don't know all the answers. I simply know that I love you, I am committed to you, to us and together, we are going to get through this." Perhaps finding the answer(s) is not really the reason for some of the problems, challenges & obstacles we face. Perhaps the real purpose of the problem is to give us the opportunity to prove our commitment to one another. Please Friends, don't miss the great opportunity to love your spouse, child or friend because you are afraid because you don't have the answer(s). Get in the game, take the shot, do life with them - really with them! Set aside the pride, the ego and just...be there. Trust me, you will figure it out.
As I was thinking about this Happy Friday this morning, I studied some quotes that I shared on Twitter & Facebook. I want to share them with you:
For many men, perhaps most, the greatest obstacles have been fear & pride. We are not real fond of not having all the answers, of not being in control. We now have another potential obstacle to our relationships...technology. This one is for those caught in this trap:
My hope, prayer & challenge for each one of us is that we will show up & really do life with people. It truly is an honor & privilege to do so.
I also feel compelled to share this with you. Perhaps you are going through a difficult season of life. A few years ago I was having a tough time at work. A friend of mine said, "Of course you are, light only shines in the darkness." Now listen, that is NOT what I wanted to hear at the time. I wanted him to justify me, tell me I should probably get another job, I am better than that situation, etc. He didn't. I believe it was Godly wisdom as he reminded me to stay right where God had planted me for "light only shines in the darkness." This week it kinda came back around. A friend is in a situation that is difficult, perhaps unfair. I found myself encouraging him saying, "Light only shines in the darkness." I don't mean this flippantly or to say that your problem or challenge is not real. I just want to remind you that you don't need a flashlight standing in a spotlight. It is only in darkness, perhaps total darkness, that the flashlight can shine brightly. So if you have found yourself in a dark situation, take heart - perhaps God is using you to let His light shine. And don't worry, darkness does not win...it's Biblical ya know:
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and Go Patriots!
Kev
I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn! What a week! We had National Signing Day on Wednesday, which means hope abounds throughout college football programs across the country, and we have a Patriots win, I mean the Super Bowl, on Sunday! So awesome!
I thought this Happy Friday was going to be about the bonfire my youngest Tender Warrior, Landry, and I sat around last Saturday night. Yesterday, as I pondered this Happy Friday, I got a real strong conviction not about the bonfire itself but rather a couple of key points, lessons learned, from the bonfire.
Landry is going through some stuff. He is good, it will all be good however learning, growing and becoming all that we can become is a tough journey that all of us must navigate. I am privileged to be on this journey with him. We sat around that fire for over 2 hours, mostly just he and I, looking deep into each others eyes, pouring out our hearts & souls, sometimes laughing, sometimes filled with despair. Without all the answers our conversation ended with an appreciation of our love & commitment to one another.
So the convictions? The things I want to share with you? My heart is that this be for everyone, especially men, husbands & Dads.
1. Be there! Be fully there! Show up and be present! For anything to grow you have to invest in it. Think about the best, greatest, strongest relationships you have. They are not with the people that you walk by and say, "How are you?" and they say, "Great" with neither one of you really paying much attention to one another. No, the greatest relationships you & I have are with the people we got down into the mire & muck with. Life is messy and the very best relationships have some dirt, mud, perhaps sweat & tears, on them. So many of us are willing to be there for the "How are you's" but when it comes time to really show up and do life with people we are peculiarly absent. We then want to know why in the heck the relationship is no good. I think I have a good idea why a whole lot of us aren't there though, especially men, and this is the 2nd point...
2. You don't have to have all the answers...or pretend you do. None of us have all the answers and the only one we fool when we try to convince everyone else that we have all the answers is ourselves. It's o.k. to look deep into the eyes of another and say, "I don't know all the answers. I simply know that I love you, I am committed to you, to us and together, we are going to get through this." Perhaps finding the answer(s) is not really the reason for some of the problems, challenges & obstacles we face. Perhaps the real purpose of the problem is to give us the opportunity to prove our commitment to one another. Please Friends, don't miss the great opportunity to love your spouse, child or friend because you are afraid because you don't have the answer(s). Get in the game, take the shot, do life with them - really with them! Set aside the pride, the ego and just...be there. Trust me, you will figure it out.
As I was thinking about this Happy Friday this morning, I studied some quotes that I shared on Twitter & Facebook. I want to share them with you:
"Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough."
- Mary McLeod Bethune
"Real relationships are the product of time spent, which is why so many of us have so few of them."
- Craig D. Lounsbrough
For many men, perhaps most, the greatest obstacles have been fear & pride. We are not real fond of not having all the answers, of not being in control. We now have another potential obstacle to our relationships...technology. This one is for those caught in this trap:
"Do more things that make you forget to check your phone."
- TobyMac
My hope, prayer & challenge for each one of us is that we will show up & really do life with people. It truly is an honor & privilege to do so.
I also feel compelled to share this with you. Perhaps you are going through a difficult season of life. A few years ago I was having a tough time at work. A friend of mine said, "Of course you are, light only shines in the darkness." Now listen, that is NOT what I wanted to hear at the time. I wanted him to justify me, tell me I should probably get another job, I am better than that situation, etc. He didn't. I believe it was Godly wisdom as he reminded me to stay right where God had planted me for "light only shines in the darkness." This week it kinda came back around. A friend is in a situation that is difficult, perhaps unfair. I found myself encouraging him saying, "Light only shines in the darkness." I don't mean this flippantly or to say that your problem or challenge is not real. I just want to remind you that you don't need a flashlight standing in a spotlight. It is only in darkness, perhaps total darkness, that the flashlight can shine brightly. So if you have found yourself in a dark situation, take heart - perhaps God is using you to let His light shine. And don't worry, darkness does not win...it's Biblical ya know:
"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
- John 1: 5
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and Go Patriots!
Kev
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