I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn! What a week! We had National Signing Day on Wednesday, which means hope abounds throughout college football programs across the country, and we have a Patriots win, I mean the Super Bowl, on Sunday! So awesome!
I thought this Happy Friday was going to be about the bonfire my youngest Tender Warrior, Landry, and I sat around last Saturday night. Yesterday, as I pondered this Happy Friday, I got a real strong conviction not about the bonfire itself but rather a couple of key points, lessons learned, from the bonfire.
Landry is going through some stuff. He is good, it will all be good however learning, growing and becoming all that we can become is a tough journey that all of us must navigate. I am privileged to be on this journey with him. We sat around that fire for over 2 hours, mostly just he and I, looking deep into each others eyes, pouring out our hearts & souls, sometimes laughing, sometimes filled with despair. Without all the answers our conversation ended with an appreciation of our love & commitment to one another.
So the convictions? The things I want to share with you? My heart is that this be for everyone, especially men, husbands & Dads.
1. Be there! Be fully there! Show up and be present! For anything to grow you have to invest in it. Think about the best, greatest, strongest relationships you have. They are not with the people that you walk by and say, "How are you?" and they say, "Great" with neither one of you really paying much attention to one another. No, the greatest relationships you & I have are with the people we got down into the mire & muck with. Life is messy and the very best relationships have some dirt, mud, perhaps sweat & tears, on them. So many of us are willing to be there for the "How are you's" but when it comes time to really show up and do life with people we are peculiarly absent. We then want to know why in the heck the relationship is no good. I think I have a good idea why a whole lot of us aren't there though, especially men, and this is the 2nd point...
2. You don't have to have all the answers...or pretend you do. None of us have all the answers and the only one we fool when we try to convince everyone else that we have all the answers is ourselves. It's o.k. to look deep into the eyes of another and say, "I don't know all the answers. I simply know that I love you, I am committed to you, to us and together, we are going to get through this." Perhaps finding the answer(s) is not really the reason for some of the problems, challenges & obstacles we face. Perhaps the real purpose of the problem is to give us the opportunity to prove our commitment to one another. Please Friends, don't miss the great opportunity to love your spouse, child or friend because you are afraid because you don't have the answer(s). Get in the game, take the shot, do life with them - really with them! Set aside the pride, the ego and just...be there. Trust me, you will figure it out.
As I was thinking about this Happy Friday this morning, I studied some quotes that I shared on Twitter & Facebook. I want to share them with you:
"Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough."
- Mary McLeod Bethune
"Real relationships are the product of time spent, which is why so many of us have so few of them."
- Craig D. Lounsbrough
For many men, perhaps most, the greatest obstacles have been fear & pride. We are not real fond of not having all the answers, of not being in control. We now have another potential obstacle to our relationships...technology. This one is for those caught in this trap:
"Do more things that make you forget to check your phone."
- TobyMac
My hope, prayer & challenge for each one of us is that we will show up & really do life with people. It truly is an honor & privilege to do so.
I also feel compelled to share this with you. Perhaps you are going through a difficult season of life. A few years ago I was having a tough time at work. A friend of mine said, "Of course you are, light only shines in the darkness." Now listen, that is NOT what I wanted to hear at the time. I wanted him to justify me, tell me I should probably get another job, I am better than that situation, etc. He didn't. I believe it was Godly wisdom as he reminded me to stay right where God had planted me for "light only shines in the darkness." This week it kinda came back around. A friend is in a situation that is difficult, perhaps unfair. I found myself encouraging him saying, "Light only shines in the darkness." I don't mean this flippantly or to say that your problem or challenge is not real. I just want to remind you that you don't need a flashlight standing in a spotlight. It is only in darkness, perhaps total darkness, that the flashlight can shine brightly. So if you have found yourself in a dark situation, take heart - perhaps God is using you to let His light shine. And don't worry, darkness does not win...it's Biblical ya know:
"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
- John 1: 5
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and Go Patriots!
Kev
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