The Tongue

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a beautiful new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! :)

This morning I want to share a resource with you that I would highly recommend. It is a book by Deborah Smith Pegues titled 30 Days To Taming Your Tongue, What You SAY (and DON'T SAY) Will Improve Your Relationships. I am on day 27 today and I can honestly say that I have found this book to be transformational. I am going to share excerpts from 3 different days with you in a moment, just to give you an idea of the kinda things you will read, however before doing so I want to share a scripture with you.

To understand the power of the tongue, and our need to tame it, let's take a quick look at James 3: 1 - 12 (NIV):

Taming the Tongue

3 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Alrighty then! Now that we have established the fact that "no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." let's sprint to some excerpts from Deborah's great book! ! :)

From the Prologue:

"Teachers often teach that which they need to learn themselves."

"To "tame" means to bring from a state of unruliness to a state of submission."

"The only hope for the tongue is the Spirit of God."

"I have learned that most interpersonal problems will not be resolved without being confronted. However, there is a time and a way to say everything. We can rejoice knowing we are already empowered to use our tongue wisely.

The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season (ISAIAH 50:4 KJV).

Words are the vehicle through which we communicate our thoughts; the tongue is the driver. As such, it takes us to our destiny. Moving in spiritual maturity requires that we learn to speak the right words in the right season and for the right reason."

As for the 3 different days I want to share, I have intentionally selected days, topics, that perhaps we would not normally think of when we think of taming the tongue. The excerpts I am sharing are simply what I highlighted as I read through each day. Enjoy! :)

"Day 13

The Belittling Tongue

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Ephesians 4:29

Do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you? Or are your expectations so high that you focus on their shortcomings rather than their assets. If someone speaks well of a person you envy, do you follow up with a disparaging remark? Are you so insecure that you can only feel good about yourself by denigrating others?

When we had a room expanded in our home, I was fascinated by the use of the hammer. It was used in the demolition as well as the construction process. Words are like that. They can tear down or they can build. How do you use your words mostly? Is it your normal behavior to build?

Cheerleaders tell you that you can do it; coaches tell you how to reach the goal. They all have the same goal: They want you to win!

If you want to maximize productivity, then learn how to build up your employees.

TODAY'S AFFIRMATION: No unwholesome talk comes out of my mouth, but only what is helpful for building others according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

"Day 15

The Know-It-All Tongue

A prudent man conceals knowledge. - Proverbs 12:23 

"Have you considered...?" sounds a lot less controlling and will be more welcomed - especially by men - than "You should..."

Assuming the role of the arrogant expert on almost every topic is a sure indication of pride, which is repulsive behavior to God and man.

How do you let go of that know-it-all tongue? You can start by letting someone share information with you that you already know - without letting him know that you know it. This can be great training in humility and emotional maturity.

Your interpersonal relationships will improve when people feel that interacting with you has been a mutual sharing of ideas.

TODAY'S AFFIRMATION: I am prudent and therefore I do not flaunt my knowledge."

"Day 17

The Tactless Tongue

Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone. - Colossians 4:6

Lesson learned: We will always get more mileage from diplomacy than tactlessness.

While honesty is indeed the best policy, it is not a license to say whatever we want. One of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to deal with others with sensitivity and to speak inoffensively when we find ourselves in difficulty or problematic situations.

Must pain always accompany the truth? The extent to which a person experiences pain from being told the truth depends on numerous variables, including his degree of emotional security, his perceived worth, or his desire to grow.

...even though I spoke words of truth, at the root of my actions were anger, frustration, disappointment, or retaliation. It was William Blake who said, "A truth that's told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent."

The key is to develop a habit of being tactful in every situation.

TODAY'S AFFIRMATION: My words are seasoned with grace as I speak the truth in love."

Again, I would strongly recommend this book to you. I have truly found the insights to be profound.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev