Christmas Every Day

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful, rainy, day in my home state, Arizona! It is such a blessing to be with family and friends that are so dear...we should cherish them each and every day! :)

This week I want to encourage, and hopefully challenge, each one of us. On Christmas I shared a quote I have shared before. In fact, something is telling me I have probably mentioned this in a Happy Friday before. Regardless, it is worth sharing over and over and over and over....

"My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?" ~ Bob Hope

Beautiful, and true, isn't it?! The reality is we don't, and shouldn't, wait. We could experience the warm, fuzzy feelings of Christmas each and every day if only we would take the time to genuinely love others. Think about it Friends; what if you spent as much time thinking every day about your loved one's and friends as you did preparing for Christmas? What if instead of doing this only once a year, we did it every singly day for a year? You think our relationships would be better? You think you and I would be more fulfilled? There is no doubt, if only...

What does love look like? Does it have to be a spectacular necklace, ring, toy, gadget, [fill in the blank with whatever you want], etc.? No, these things are simply symbols that we took the time to think about another and - this is a really big AND - it is not an excuse or "pass" to not genuinely love others the other 364 days a year. And yet, sadly, many ignore those they profess to love and then hope that the shiny [whatever you want it to be] will make up for it. And we wonder why this world is filled with hurting, broken people.

Love is taking the time to call, text or send an email. Love is a smile. Love is letting someone else go before you. Love is serving others with your time, talent and/or treasure. Love is quite simply, anything we do for another with a pure-heart, expecting nothing in return. Any time we lighten anothers load, that is love. Any time we help another, that is love. Any time we let another know they matter, that is love. 

Love is a choice, not a feeling. This is where so many of us go wrong. If we don't "feel" a certain way, we don't love. But that, by definition, is conditional love. This is not the love I am talking about and I am highly certain it is not the type of love Mr. Hope was talking about. To love another is value, cherish and adore them for who they are, where they are. It has nothing to do with you, the circumstances, our feelings, etc. It is simply an intentional decision to love another...

So why is this so hard for so many of us? Fritz Chery wrote an article titled, Loving Others, on July 3, 2018 which is posted at biblereasons.com. Here is an excerpt that I think captures a lot of this beautifully.

"Love is not love if the heart is not in it. We are to love without hypocrisy. Genuine love should lead us to humble ourselves and serve others. Love should lead us to talk to others. Loving others will lead to making sacrifices. Love should compel us to sacrifice time to genuinely get to know others.
Love should compel us to talk to the guy at church standing by himself. Love should compel us to include others in our conversation. Love should compel us to give more. To sum it up, even though love is not action, love will result in actions because a genuine loving heart compels us."

So, Merry Christmas! This is a beautiful day to love others! And I have a hunch that tomorrow will be as well! Let's call it the Christmas Every Day Challenge...the challenge to simply love others each and every day.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

Perfectly Imperfect

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! Only 5 more days until Christmas and I can't wait! :)

The purpose of this Happy Friday is to offer a few minutes of encouragement. Please, grab a cup of coffee and lets visit for a moment...

A few days ago I was watching a Hallmark move - of course I was, it is Christmas!!! :) The whole point/problem was that a lady wanted her man to be perfect, textbook perfect in fact. Of course he failed miserably at being perfect however he was doing quite well at being him. Sound familiar?! As much as folks like to ridicule Hallmark movies, they got this one right. Most, if not all, of us strive to be perfect and though we fail miserably in our own efforts, we hold others to this impossibly ridiculous standard. This leads to lives of brokenness, sorrow, shame, guilt, worry, etc., and shattered relationships everywhere.

This morning I want to encourage all of us to embrace, and actually appreciate, perfect imperfections. And this is a two-way go!
1. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, created on purpose for a great purpose, lacking nothing! Please note, nowhere was the word "perfect" used. You are not perfect - sorry if I am the first one to tell you! :) - and neither am I or anyone else! In fact, you and I are not called to be perfect, we are created to fulfill the purpose for which we are called. And you want me to really freak you out?!?! It is often through our imperfections and brokenness that our purpose is found and that we are given the greatest platforms to positively influence this world. Let that sink in for a moment...

Look Friends, you are stinkin' awesome! Please quit holding yourself to a standard to which you can never meet and, in fact, where never expected to meet. What you and I are called to do is become the best we are capable of becoming...period! Just as we all have disabilities - the lack of ability to do some things - we also have great abilities. We have great passions. We have great hopes and goals and dreams! Please take whatever abilities you have, stop fighting for your disabilities, and fully become all that you are capable of becoming. While it might not be "perfect", it is perfectly you! And that is what this world so desperately needs - pure-hearted, authentic people who simply give the very best they have to each and every day. 

2. And just as you are fearfully and wonderfully made, created on purpose for a great purpose, lacking nothing, so is everyone else! Please read that again. No, they are not perfect. No, they don't have the same abilities, passions, hopes, goals and/or dreams as you. They don't necessarily have the same values, morals, ethics or manners as you. It is not your or my place to judge them, to tell them who or what they should be, what they should do, etc. Not one place in the Bible am I told to judge them....over and over again, I am told to love them. How come we work so hard at perfectly judging but we are not concerned at all about perfectly loving?!?!

At this time of year when we gather with family and friends, let's focus on simply loving each and every person before us, where they are, for who they are, without any expectations. Please stop trying to hold others to ridiculous standards and simply come alongside them and enjoy the journey. If we would simply have pure, authentic relationships, we will find that we have, in fact, found perfection.

I want to share a few quotes/scriptures to wrap up this Happy Friday.

"I'm note here to be small, to compare, to judge (myself or you), to fit in or to be perfect. I'm here to grow, to learn, to love, to be human." - Sue Fitzmaurice

"Circumstances don't define you. They shape you. You're molded to make a difference. Let your light shine bright, even through the cracks." - Julie Barbera

"Don't criticize, and then you won't be criticized. For others will treat you as you treat them. And why worry about the speck in the eye of a brother when you have a board in your own? Should you say, 'Friend, let me help you get that speck out of your eye,' when you can't even see because of the board in your own? Hypocrite! First get rid of the board. Then you can see to help your brother." - Matthew 7: 1 - 5

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;" - Psalm 139: 14

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29: 11

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself." There is no commandment greater than these." - Mark 12: 30 - 31

What if we really lived out Mark 12: 30-31? What if we simply gave everything we had to loving God and loving the people He places in our lives? What if we drop all the facades and charades and simply love? It strikes me as sickeningly funny that so many want to be experts and tell others how they should look, behave, live, etc., many who profess to be Christians. How about the last sentence, the one that says, 'there is no greater commandment than these'? Please Dear Friends, love you for who you are and love others for who they are. That would be absolutely perfect!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, a very Merry Christmas and please, cherish your precious families.

Kev

Learning & Growing

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having had a great weekend and that your battery is recharged for what will surely be a great week!

Wow, what a week it was!!! My week started last Sunday at mid-day with out-of-state travel for work, included working every night, some nights past 10 p.m., and concluded last night with work. To say I am behind is an understatement however my spirit feels convicted to still write a Happy Friday. With this, I want to share several thoughts/ideas that have struck me as profound over the last few weeks, share them with you and let you apply them to your life - or not! :) - however you wish.

I want to start off by sharing a brief testimony. I had shared a quote on social media earlier this week that said, "Everyone wants to be successful until they see what it actually takes." With the quote is a picture of the feet of a ballerina. One foot looks beautiful, covered in a ballet slipper. The other foot has callouses, bloody blisters and bandages on it. A person commented, "Success shouldn't come with pain." It caused me to pause. Every success I have ever experienced in life has come with some measure of pain. It was painful, and required sacrifice, to study for hours to get the grades I wanted to get in college. Any athlete will tell you that training involves a large amount of pain. As I look back over my career, there is a lot of pain involved. Success does not come easy and often requires mental, emotional and/or physical pain. It is not easy accomplishing great things and that, perhaps, is why many people don't. Success requires growth, growth requires us to stretch and stretching - physically, mentally and/or emotionally - is painful. So while I think I understand the heart behind the comment, this has not been my experience with success. 

Now I simply want to share several quotes, thoughts and ideas with you.

"Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. True leadership cannot be awarded, appointed, or assigned, it comes only from influence, and that cannot be mandated. It must be earned." - Unknown

"Make every day count.
Make every hour count.
Make every minute count.
And don't stop until you have exercised your full potential, realizing your impossible dreams and fulfilling your destiny to become the person that you, and only you, are capable of being." - Unknown

"The important thing is to be able to sacrifice what we are for what we could become." - Charles Du Bos

"Leadership is an OPPORTUNITY: Benefit from it
LEADERSHIP  is a CHALLENGE: Meet it
LEADERSHIP is a DUTY: Complete it
LEADERSHIP is love: Encourage it" - Lolly Daskal

"9 WAYS TO BECOME BETTER THAN YOU WERE YESTERDAY:
1. Be optimistic
2. Focus on the upside
3. Take ownership
4. Be open
5. Forgive yourself
6. Do what's right
7. Be respectful
8. Love yourself
9. Lead a healthy life
Repeat..." - Rick Jordan

"5 Ways to be a Positive Communicator today:
1. Shout praise, whisper criticism
2. Encourage others
3. Smile more
4. Don't complain
5. Welcome feedback" - Jon Gordon

"The best leaders don't establish goals or performance measures to hold people accountable. The best leaders build cohesive, engaging teams. We are accountable to people, not goals." - Jason McNeal

"When you succeed, be generous
When you fail, be compassionate
When you win, be humble
When you are scared, be thoughtful
When you are beaten, be modest" - Lolly Daskal

"Remember you can't change your past. But you can create your future. Don't get stuck in thinking about what you could have and should have done. Think about what you can and will do and start taking action today!" - Jon Gordon

"Don't be afraid to step out and do something different. As a matter of fact, if you're not doing things differently from a career standpoint, you're probably going backwards." - Jeremy McClain

"Your struggles are not meant to stop you, they are meant to CHANGE you. Once you realize things happen for YOU, your challenges in life begin to make more sense." - Brad Lea

"3 Truths About Leadership:
1. Leadership isn't about gaining power. It's about empowering others.
2. Great leaders succeed because they bring out the greatness in others.
3. You don't have to be great to serve but you have to serve to be a great leader."- Jon Gordon

"The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves." - Ray Kroc

"Never complain about something you're not willing to change." - Inky Johnson

"When things are going bad, guard against discouragement and lack of faith.
When things are going well, guard against pride and self reliance." - Matt Brown

"Not every thought needs to be shared. Not every opinion should be aired. If we truly want to be thought leaders, we must lead our own thoughts first." - Lysa Terkeurst

"Today...
BE there for someone else
BE an encouragement
BE a source of hope
BE a listening ear
BE present
BE humble
BE a light
BE kind
Despite the distractions of life...BE!" - Todd Gongwer

"If you're alive and breathing you can still become everything God has created you to be." - Helena Plumber

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful week and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

400

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This one right here, this day, it is going to be a great one!

This is the 400th blog I have written. It is amazing to me how quickly time passes. I have written this blog during some of the greatest storms of life and during some of the highest mountain top moments. Doors have been opened to share with others in more than 10 different countries...it simply amazes me! :)

On this historic day - for me anyways! :) - I want to take a moment and go back to the root and then share a few thoughts/ideas.

"Happy Friday" is another tool I use to share a bigger concept. The concept, "What Will Your Influence Be...", is all about the influence you and I will have in the lives of every other person we have in our lives - whether for a moment or a lifetime. I believe, and science supports, you and I will influence every single person we cross paths with on a daily basis. This is not in question. The only question  that each one of us must answer daily is, "What Will Your Influence Be...?" Will we be intentional or will we leave it to the whims of our feelings and emotions - which, by the way, can't be trusted? Will our influence be positive or will it be negative? Will we speak life or death? Will be be stepping stones to success or will we be stumbling blocks? While you and I are completely free to choose whatever we want, we are not free from the consequences of those choices. Yes Dear Friends, the words we speak and the things we do, even our countenance, impacts the lives of every person we encounter on a daily basis. You and I are pretty big deals, aren't we?! :) Yes, YOU matter! And no, you don't get to choose when you influence...you always are. It is not only on your good days...it is on all your days! Oh Sweet Friends, I pray - fervently! - that we would all use our influence wisely.

For those of you searching for the science, John C. Maxwell in one of his books sites research that found that the most introverted person will influence more than 10,000 people in their lifetimes. A year or so ago I found new research that found that the "average" person will influence more than 80,000 people in their lifetimes. Still question whether or not you matter? And now, let me blow your mind a little bit... 10,000 or 80,000 are pretty big numbers, aren't they? Well, what about the fact of the 10,000 or 80,000 that are influenced by the 1 you influenced! (Explosion sound) You see, our influence truly knows no bounds! When you are influencing 1, you are actually influencing the 10 - 80,000 behind that one. You and I, through our daily words and actions, have the potential to impact millions - sorry, too lazy to do all the math this morning!!! :) Hey, at least I got up early to write this!!! :)

I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the "other" part of "What Will Your Influence Be...?" It is actually the most important part. It is the part that fills our hearts and minds and informs the spirit. What are the things that you and I are pouring into our hearts and minds every day? Just as we influence others through our words and actions, we influence our own minds and hearts by the things we are pouring into, or allowing to be poured in, every day. I have shared this quote several times while writing all these blogs however it is worth sharing again, and to remind ourselves of over and over again. 

"What's in the well, always comes up in the bucket." - Ken Whitten

We all want to be great when our greatness is required however things don't just happen because we want them to happen. We all "want" all kinds of things. It is the things that we intentionally DO that determines what will happen next. It is impossible to pour negativity into our hearts and minds every day and expect positivity to flow from us. Please think about it, and very thoughtfully consider, the things you will read, listen to, watch, etc.

I also want to share a few thoughts with you as I reflect on this beautiful journey I am on.
1. Please never doubt the impact, or influence, of your belief in another person. There are 3 people in particular - Megan, Deb and Joyce - whose unwavering belief in me, and words of encouragement, got "Happy Friday" going and whose repeated affirmations over the years have kept me going. I have no idea what they saw/see, however I am so very grateful they did. I am reminded of the quote that is attributed to several different people - Just know it wasn't me who said it! :) - "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." Yes, your words and belief in another has a profound impact. To Megan, Deb & Joyce - from the bottom of my heart, and the deepest recesses of my soul, thank you! Look what WE have done! :) I love each one of you dearly and I am so very blessed to be on this life journey with you.

2. I don't know what the burden is that God has placed on your heart, I just know He burdens each one of us so we use whatever talents, gifts and abilities we have to love, care for and serve others. Whatever your burden, please fulfill it. Whether your gift is to write, sing, create something or something completely different...please pursue it. Don't worry about the outcome, I can testify with a pure heart that God will take care of that. You just shine your light and let Him worry about the rest. The answer resides in your heart. Find it and then exhaust the days of your life fulfilling it. I promise you, you will not regret it.

3. Well, there was a #3 however I can't remember what it was right now! :) Perhaps it will come back to me and I will share it during one of the next 400! :)

Hey! As I was proofing this, #3 came to me. "Happy Friday" actually started during a "storm" of life. It was a dark time for me however my heart was bursting to share thoughts, ideas, etc. with the simple, pure-hearted intent, of encouraging, empowering and equipping others to become all they are capable of becoming. As I have often reflected back on that time, I am aware/reminded that God's message is going to get out, He is going to use us, no matter the situation or circumstance. Man, that speaks deeply to my heart! I am inspired as I type these words. You see, Sweet Friends, I didn't know or understand it then, but God was literally using every situation/circumstance to fulfill the greater purpose He had. Would I have chosen that path? Nope, too big of a coward! :) Grateful He did? Without question! Please just remember, as long as their is air in our lungs, it isn't over. And that nothing can stop the plans of God. I don't know if that speaks to your heart or not...it certainly speaks to mine!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

A Critically Important Question...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great Friday and that you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. :)

This weeks Happy Friday is going to be short and sweet. And yet, the point behind it is incredibly significant with profound consequences. You see Friends, it is all about you, and me, and about each one of us becoming all that we were created to become! Profound indeed!

On Tuesday my work family and I had a workshop. It was a wonderful workshop that lasted about 4 hours. And at the end, there was this question, this critically important question...

"What are you doing every day to reach your potential?"

There are so many parts of that question that challenge and inspire me. I would like to share a few thoughts with you.

As our facilitator illustrated beautifully, each one of us is made up of four components: physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. Each one is important and you and I, individually, have great potential in each area. Each one of us is born undeveloped in each area and yet for each one of us there is potential in each area. No, our potentials are not the same. Some have higher capacities in one area while others of us have higher capacities in others. That however is not what this Happy Friday is about. No, this Happy Friday is about the potential that is in you, and me, and everyone else! That's what we want, what we need, to chase...and not worry about what anyone else is, or is not, doing.

Did you notice the 5th and 6th words? They say, "every day." There is no "off day" in this beautiful journey we call life! Yes, we get "holidays" and "vacations" - thank goodness!!! :) - but there is no "off day" in our pursuit of the greatness that is within us. Yes, it is true, I did not have to get up and go to work today however that doesn't mean I get the day off from pursuing my physical, mental, spiritual and/or emotional potential today! Every day is a day calling out to us to pursue our greatness! Every day is the opportunity to grow a little bit more into all we were created to become!

Why does any of this matter? Because YOU matter! I matter! Everyone matters! This world is far too full of folks not pursuing their potentials in multiple areas. This, in large part, is why we have many of the problems we have. If we aren't developing ourselves physically, mentally, spiritually and/or emotionally, we aren't going to be healthy and we aren't going to become all that we were created to become. Listen Sweet Friends, this world desperately needs the best version of you that you can develop. You are not a mistake, a failure or any of the other lies you may believe about yourself! You are fearfully and wonderfully made, created on purpose for a great purpose, and you lack nothing needed to fulfill your purpose. It is all there! You've been given it all as a gift! It is now, however, up to you as to what you do with it! I pray, I beg you, to please pursue your greatness! I have no idea where it will lead or what you will do. I simply know that this world desperately needs YOU!

So the challenge I will offer each of us, for every day for the rest of our earthly lives:

"What are you doing every day to reach your potential?"

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you and your families any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great evening, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

A Few Things

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :) This one right here is a going to be a great one!

On the spectrum of encourage, empower and equip, this Happy Friday is going to be about encouragement. I want to encourage you this morning, wherever you are. And I am not speaking of your physical location, I am talking about the condition of your heart.

Earlier this week I had a dear colleague rush into my office to tell me of a mistake that she had made. There was panic and brokenness. Tears filled her eyes. She was so upset and my heart immediately went out to her. And, it was a simple, rather insignificant, error. Have you ever been there? I know I have.

Friends, we are not called to be perfect. We are going to make mistakes. It is true that we are called to do the best we can at all times and in all situations however that does not mean perfection. You and I are human. We are going to make mistakes. We cannot live and die with each one...if so, I am going to do a whole lot of dying! :)

I just want to encourage you, and me, to do the very best we can in each and every situation. Sometimes the outcome will be what we want and sometimes it won't. All situations give us the opportunity to learn, grow and become the best we are capable of becoming. When mistakes are made, we would be wise to accept responsibility for them, look at what we can do to insure the mistake does not happen again and then go on. Just as the successes do not define us, neither do the failures. You and I, our purposes, are so much greater than a single event - and that is all that successes and failures are, they are events. On this beautiful journey called life, we are all going to make a lot of both. It is all a part of the finishing and perfecting of who we are, of what we are called to be.

I was also reminded this week of doing what we can do and not fighting for our weaknesses, what we cannot do. Have you ever noticed how often people talk about what they cannot do? Instead of doing the little bit of good they can do, they do nothing because they can't do more. It really doesn't make much sense, does it?

Here is what I believe based on the Bible which I choose to believe; you and I were created on purpose for a great purpose. We lack nothing! We were given the talents, gifts, abilities and passions we have to fulfill the purpose for which we were created. And a couple of real key points:

1. Every single life matters. God has never created an insignificant person. Everyone has something to teach the rest of us. Every single one of us has a great purpose in this life. 

2. Our purposes are all different. We don't have the same talents, gifts, abilities or purposes, thank God - literally! :) Can you imagine what this world would look like if we all had the same talents, gifts, abilities and purposes?! We would be really good at something however I have no idea what that would be! :)

Look Sweet Friends, instead of talking about what we can't do, let's simply do what we can. Whether it is time, talent or treasure, let's honor the calling on our lives by giving the best of it. Don't worry about what someone else is doing or not doing. As my Tender Warriors love to say, "Just do you!"

And finally, I want to encourage you to reflect on what you are using to fill your bucket. What are the things you are pouring into your heart, mind and spirit every day? We would be very wise to consider these things because, as Pastor Ken Whitten once said, "What is in the well always comes up in the bucket." We all want to meet the need when the need needs to be met. We all want to be great when our greatness is needed. However it is not our "wants" that will determine how we respond when we are needed. It is what we have intentionally poured into ourselves day after day that will be pulled up when the greatness that is within us is required.

I want to close with a scripture that sums this all up pretty well.

"Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done and won't need to compare himself with someone else. Each of us must bear some faults and burdens of his own. For none of us is perfect!" - Galatians 6: 4 - 5.

Be encouraged Friends! A glorious new day is here! We have never seen this one before! It is a blank canvas, completely untouched! You have the brush in your hand at this moment! You get to choose what this day will look like! You were created for this! Live your beautiful life to the best of your ability and create your masterpiece! The world needs you and all that you have to offer! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Fight the Fight

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful Sunday evening! Additionally, I sincerely hope you have had a wonderful weekend with your family, friends and those you are privileged to have in your life! :)

With this Happy Friday I want to invite you to join me in learning. We have just begun a new series at church titled, "Rivals." Our Pastor, Steve Huskey, has shared some God-inspired, thought provoking ideas the past two weeks that I simply want to share with you this evening. I am working through them - learning and growing. I thought that perhaps you would like to do the same.

Last week he shared a concept he called "position opposition." With this he stated, "we have things pushing us out of what God has for us." The reality is God has created you and I on purpose for a great purpose. We are perfectly equipped, lacking nothing. However there is also another reality; just as God wants you and I to have life and to live it abundantly, Satan is also real and he wishes nothing more than to kill, steal and destroy. For all that God wants for us, Satan equally opposes us. I think we know it intellectually, however do we really know it?

Here is the bottom line, and Pastor Steve's point; we are in a fight! Plain and simple. The problem is, most of us don't even realize it. We can't win a fight we don't even realize we are in. And yet, every single day, the battle rages. Will we rise up and fight? Intentionally?

And, in addition to the alarming wake-up call Pastor Steve provided, the 2 x 4 between the eyes for me was when he talked about our need to be aware of what is at stake in our fight. He gave a very poignant example of when a person fails in their fight. You see, your battles aren't just about you. The battles before us impact our families, our friends, our purposes, etc. The question is, will you and I fight for our families, fight for our marriages, fight for our purposes and fight to keep them? You and I don't have to fight, and many don't. Simply look at the alarming number of broken lives, destroyed marriages and failed purposes to prove the point. Whether you choose to fight the fight or not, just know, it is about so much more than just you. There are lives, literally hundreds as you play it all out, that are impacted by the decision you and I make.

And then this morning Pastor Steve introduced a concept he called "Intimidation Summation." He defined this as, "adding up challenges and backing down from our fight."
Ever been there? Yeah, me too. We look at all the problems or challenges in a situation and decide that these are stop signs. We back down. Fear has won. And in reality? It was probably Satan simply stepping up his game a little bit because we were right where we were supposed to be!

As we are going through this series we are looking at the story of David and Goliath. I tell you that because I want to tell you the purpose of the Goliath's in our lives. Golaith's purpose is to get you and I to back down because we can't win a fight we won't engage in. 

The problem for most of us is we are fighting from our inadequacies, our weaknesses and not from our faith. If you study David and Goliath you will find the David fought from faith, not in himself but in God. How about you and I? How different would the battles we face look different if we fought from faith, if we fought as though we could win?

And Pastor Steve had an excellent point; we are not just fighting against something, we are fighting for something. Whatever or whoever the opponent might be, you and I are fighting for our marriages, for our families, for our friends, and for our purposes! What is on the other side of the opposition? Pastor Steve didn't say it this way but I will; what is on the other side of backing away from the opposition?! There are consequences either way...

You know, nobody can tell anybody else how they should live their lives, what decisions they should make, whether or not they should fight the fight. I am simply grateful that I have been reminded that the fight is real and that it rages on all the time. I am grateful I am reminded that there is so much at stake. Yes, I get tired. Yes, I get discourage. And yes, I get up every morning, surrender this life to God, fervently seek His leadership in my life and then I fight my battles. I will do this with more intentional focus, with more purpose and with more energy. I pray He will continue to teach me and make me more aware. I pray he will give me the wisdom, courage and strength...I will surely need Him and them, every day.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful week and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

It's Not About Us

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

Our church has been going through a series titled, "Sola Food." It is about the five Solas. I am going to let Chritianity.com explain the five Solas to you, and the specific Sola it is on my heart to share with you this morning.

In the article titled, The Five Solas - Point from the Past that Should Matter to You, Justin Holcomb writes:

"The Protestant Reformation of the 16th century changed Christianity forever. Roused to action by corruption and abuses they saw in the Roman Catholic church of the time, visionary pastors and leaders like Martin Luther and John Calvin spearheaded a movement that transformed Christianity and eventually led to the emergence of the Protestant denominations that exist today.

The Reformers were guided by the conviction that the church of their day had drifted away from the essential, original teachings of Christianity, especially in regard to what it was teaching people about salvation - how people can be forgiven of sin through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and receive eternal life with God. The Reformation sought to re-orient Christianity on the original message of Jesus and the early church."

He then, briefly, explained the five Solas.

"The Five Solas are:

1. Sola Scriptura ("Scripture Alone"): The Bible alone is our highest authority.

2. Sola Fide ("Faith Alone"): We are saved through faith alone in Jesus Christ.

3. Sola Gratia ("Grace Alone"): We are saved by the grace of God alone.

4. Solus Christus ("Christ Alone"): Jesus Christ alone is our Lord, Savior, and King.

5. Soli Deo Gloria ("to the glory of God alone"): We live for the glory of God alone."

And finally, I want to share with you what he said about the Sola it is on my heart to share with you about this morning.

"SOLI DEO GLORIA

Glory belongs to God alone. God's glory is the central motivation for salvation, not improving the lives of people - though that is a wonderful by product. God is not a means to an end - He is the means and the end.

The goal of all life is to give glory to God alone: "Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). As The Westminster Catechism says, the chief purpose of human life is "to glorify God and enjoy him forever.""

Our Associate Pastor, Adam Gooch, was preaching a sermon on Soli Deo Gloria. He broke Soli Deo Gloria down beautifully and shared what he called, "3 Truths of God's Glory." It was when he was speaking about what he identified as the 3rd truth - God called you for His glory - that my Spirit moved and this Happy Friday was born.

We all have talents, gifts and abilities. They are different. Some of us are skilled musicians while others are great athletes. Some have an aptitude for math while others are gifted in the sciences. The talents, gifts and abilities that we possess, and the degrees to which they are developed, are almost as infinite as the number of people walking this earth. The question is not whether you and I have talents, gifts and abilities but rather what are we doing with them and why.

Pastor Adam really got my attention when he said, "Not should I; why am I?" Have you ever been there? I know I have...a lot. Say you are a gifted baker and you love to make cakes. You are aware of someone who is struggling in life. You think to yourself, "Maybe I should bake them a cake." And then all the arguments in your mind start. What if they don't like it? What if they think I am weird? What if... And then slowly, far too often, we talk ourselves out of using the talents, gifts and abilities we have to love, care for and serve others. 

The question is not should I; why am I? Aren't questions like "what if they don't like it?" or "what if they think I am weird?" really questions about us? We are worried we will look stupid, foolish, we will fail, etc. But it isn't about us and it never will be. It is about using the influence God has given you through the talents, gifts and abilities he has placed inside of you to love, care for and serve others for His glory. Whatever those talents, gifts and abilities that you have, please don't ask whether or not you should use them - of course you should! The real question we should ask, and the heart check we should go through regularly, is why am I? Is it about lifting ourselves up, making ourselves look good? Or is it about glorifying God through what He is doing through you. I am reminded of the quote that says, "Your talents, gifts and abilities are God's gift to you. What you do with them is your gift to God."

Pastor Adam then asked the question, "What is the motivation of the heart?" If it is to pure-heartedly love, care for and serve others through the talents, gifts and abilities He has given you, by all means, move forward now. Don't worry about the outcome, God will take care of that. However, if the true desire of our heart is to glorify and honor ourselves, we would be wise to stop. It is not to our name be the glory, but to His name be the glory - alone!

A couple of other thoughts/ideas.

• Every one of us has talents, gifts and abilities. There are no insignificant people or purposes. We may choose not to pursue the greatness He has placed in us, however that does not mean they are not there. Please don't dishonor God and His word by saying you have no talents, gifts or abilities.
• When others recognize and compliment you on your talents, gifts and abilities, simply say "thank you." While you may have developed them, and I sincerely hope you do, they were given to you, you did nothing to earn them. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made, created on purpose for a great purpose, lacking nothing. We all, every last one of us. So let's not fake humility or try to take credit for a gift we have been given, let's simply say "thank you."
• And Pastor Adam shared this last, beautiful thought as he wrapped up his sermon; "When you are recognized, make sure God is in the spotlight of your life." It is then that we will truly be able to reflect the glory of God.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

The Lucky Ones

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Sunday afternoon from my Sweet Home Alabama!

This week I want to put some tools in the toolbox of your marriage/relationship. I want to do this by sharing an excerpt from the book I am currently reading titled, Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last by Kevin A. Thompson. What I am sharing comes from the introduction. 

"We use lucky to describe a successful marriage because we often can't see the skills and abilities required to make a marriage work. We are a people focused on facades. We assume the outside of something fully defines the inside. We value the appearance of health more than health itself. When we see happy couples, we compare our marriage to theirs. We wrongly conclude they are happy because they have more money or a nicer home or a better-looking mate or a spouse who doesn't nag as much. We write simple conclusions to our complex problems and assume we are unhappy because we are unlucky. We think there isn't much we can do about it, so we long for something different while changing none of our own actions.

What if the lucky aren't so lucky? What if a successful marriage isn't about the forces of fate but the force of choice? What if we control far more of our relationship than we realize?

A good marriage looks like luck because there are few things on the outside that predict success in marriage. But inside a successful relationship, there are some hidden characteristics that lead to marital satisfaction. These are the secrets of the lucky ones:

1. They have right expectations of themselves and others. They don't overestimate their own ability. They know they are flawed and needy. They understand their partner is the same. In the midst of their mutual brokenness, they find meaning and value.

2. They confront the pain. They don't shy away from it or deny it. Instead, they grieve over the fact that they can't be everything they want to be. They name their imperfection and process through it.

3. They operate between apathy and aggression. They find the middle ground, avoiding passivity, which allows issues to grow, and evading aggression, which can blow something out of proportion. They are strong, vulnerable, realistic but not pessimistic.

4. They seek something higher than themselves. While their marriage brings a great deal of personal satisfaction, that isn't their ultimate goal. They pursue something bigger. This pursuit draws them out of themselves and into a greater purpose. It minimizes conflicts and accentuates commonalities.

5. They overflow with compassion. Empathy, understanding, and compassion are reciprocated between the two. They nourish their love for one another so that it impacts every aspect of their daily lives. They have a genuine warmth for each other and don't allow their feelings to grow cold.

6. They create a wholeness as individuals and as a couple. They know who they are. They do not feel divided or torn by individual desires or what is best for them together. Truth is allowed to freely flow without being used to intentionally injure the other. They don't live in perfection, but they so consistently handle their mistakes properly that nothing is allowed to fester. Their integrity drives out any possible hypocrisy.

7. They are continually in the process of making peace. They understand their differences and strive to be united in their diversity. They welcome problems as an opportunity to learn more about each other and to grow closer together. They don't have more or less conflict than others, but they handle it in a more productive way.

8. They learn to take a punch. They understand their commitment to one another will not be understood by others, by a culture that easily attacks commitment. They know marriage can be difficult, but they believe the struggle is worth it. They use both external and internal challenges as a way to strengthen their bond.

These practices aren't readily seen. It's rarely possible to look at a couple and know if they truly have compassion for each other or if they are humble in their understanding of themselves and marriage. But these unseen qualities define a relationship - and create the kind of marriages we all want.

The map toward a better marriage is often unseen, but even if it's found, it's often ignored. The connected dots don't match our expectation of what would make marriage better. It's a contrarian's map. Not only are these eight principles not obvious, but they are quickly rejected by the masses when clearly stated. A few of the ideas aren't just ignored; they are fought against."

I would highly recommend Happily to you. And, whether it is Kevin's book or something all together different, I want to strongly encourage you to be intentional about learning, growing and becoming all that you are capable of becoming within your marriage/relationship. One day is not enough. Most of the time is not enough. We must be intentional each and every day if we are to become all that we are created to become.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great evening, a wonderful week and please, cherish your precious families!

Kev

Sharing Our Crowns

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great new day as a glorious new opportunity begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

This week I came across a video of a high school Homecoming. The Homecoming Queen, Trinity Arrington, is crowned and she immediately walks over and gives the crown to her friend, Emily Petty, who has Downs Syndrome. The video goes on to show these two Texas teens sitting together, holding hands. Trinity talks about how Emily is her Queen every day and Emily, smiling with every ounce of her body says, "I love her every day." It is absolutely beautiful! :)

And it got me to thinking a lot this week; am I, do we, share our crowns? No, I am not talking about our crowns as Homecoming Kings or Queens, I am talking about our crowns of life. Most, if not all, of us have them. The blessings we have...do we share them?

I came across a saying a couple of weeks ago that said, "Do you pray to be blessed or to be a blessing?" That will challenge ya! We all want, hope & dream of being successful...however we define that. I am not encouraging any of us to be dishonest and say we don't hope & pray for success. :) And I don't think there is anything necessarily wrong with that. I do think there is great wisdom in carefully determining how we will define success, what we are chasing. But what I am talking about, and what God is much more interested in, is the heart behind the pursuit. Is it so I can be blessed or is it so I can be a blessing? The heart behind the pursuit means everything.

And that is the whole point of this Happy Friday; what are you and I doing with the crowns, the blessings, we achieve? Are they simply for us, to make us more comfortable, to build our egos, to fulfill our desires, etc. or do we take these blessings and use them to bless others? You know, Trinity did not become less of a Homecoming Queen because she shared her crown with Emily...in fact, I would argue she became a great Queen in the moment she gave her crown away!

So what are the crowns that you and I have that we can share with others? What are the doors we can open for others through our affluence and/or influence? What platforms can we share with others? What experiences can we share with others that they would not be able to experience on their own? We all have them...are we praying to be blessed or to be a blessing?

Please Sweet Friends, take a moment first to be genuinely grateful for every talent, gift, ability and blessing you have been given. And then look for opportunities to share whatever it is you have to give to love, care for and serve others. Not only will you be blessing the person you are sharing your crowns with, you will also find that you are doubly blessed. It is funny, we are wired to be selfish. We fight so hard to fill the voids in our hearts. Trying to gather enough [fill in the blank] to "make us feel good." And we find that, in fact, what really makes us feel good at a heart level is when we give away our crowns, when we share our blessings. 

Now, a whole lot of people will think I am absolutely crazy, and I am fine with that. I totally get that the concept of sharing our crowns is completely counter-culture. And while I can't change the culture or the world, I can change 2 lives at a time - mine and whoever I choose to share a crown with. And so can you! This is my hope & prayer for all of us on this beautiful, blessed Friday...that we would seek to be a blessing, that we would share our crowns.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

We Were Made To Be Courageous

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you having a great day as a glorious new opportunity begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! I am so excited for this day! As the great theologian and inspirational speaker, Pooh, once said, "I have never seen this one before!" :)

Someone who I love dearly, who means the world to me, is currently dealing with fear. Ever been there? Have you ever felt so much fear that you felt paralyzed? You were afraid to move, try something or perhaps so filled with fear that it was difficult to even get out of bed and face the day. Me too! You see, we all feel fear. I don't think we were created to not feel fear, it can be healthy and protect us from danger. We were, however, created to be courageous when the fear is unhealthy.

I am a product of the 80's which means I grew up with "No Fear" and "Just Do It." When I was a kid, and well into adulthood, I thought that I shouldn't feel fear. As a matter of fact, a number of years ago I wrote a Happy Friday about not being fearful. I have a dear friend, a great man who had served this country as one of our elite fighter pilots in the Air Force, who sent  me an email after that Happy Friday. He gently rebuked me, pointing out that we all in fact experience fear but that the truly great one's among us do what we must do anyways, they exhibit great courage. 

This morning my hope is to put some tools in your toolbox of life. To educate ourselves about fear and courage and to provide you with some excerpts from lessons taught about being courageous.

Merriam-Webster.com defines courage as, "mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty."
The very definition tells us that danger, fear and difficulty are elements of courage. It is not the absence of these things that make us courageous, it is going on in spite of them that makes us courageous. We were not made to be without fear, danger is very real and life is difficult. But Sweet Friends, you and I were made to be courageous.

In studying, I found an article posted on August 23, 2012 on psychologytoday.com titled, "The Six Attributes of Courage." I would like to share some excerpts with you. All of the information shared below, including the quotes, comes from this article.

Attribute #1
Feeling Fear Yet Choosing to Act

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." - Nelson Mandela

"Being terrified but going ahead and doing what must be done - that's courage. The one who feels no fear is a fool, and the one who lets fear rule him is a coward." - Piers Anthony

Attribute #2
Following Your Heart

"Passion is what drives us crazy, what makes us do extraordinary things, to discover, to challenge ourselves. Passion is and should always be the heart of courage." - Midori Komatsu

"To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself." - Soren Kierkegaard

Attribute #3
Persevering in the Face of Adversity

"When we are afraid, we ought not to occupy ourselves with endeavoring to prove that there is no danger, but in strengthening ourselves to go on in spite of the danger." - Mark Rutherford

"Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them." - Orison Swett Marden

Attribute #4
Standing Up For What Is Right

"Sometimes standing against evil is more important than defeating it. The greatest heroes stand because it is right to do so, not because they believe they will walk away with their lives. Such selfless courage is a victory in itself." - N.D. Wilson

"From caring comes courage." - Lao Tzu

Attribute #5
Expanding Your Horizons; Letting Go of the Familiar

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." - Lord Chesterfield

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin

Attribute #6
Facing Suffering With Dignity or Faith

"The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances." - Aristotle

"A man of courage is also full of faith." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

And then I found this post titled, "10 Elements of Courage," at franksonnenbergonline.com. It was written on September 15, 2015.

10 Elements of Courage
People with courage possess ten shared characteristics. They should remain as guideposts in your journey through life:

SELF-CONFIDENCE. Courageous people believe in themselves. They know who they are and what they stand for.

CONVICTION. You always know where courageous people stand. They're passionate about their beliefs and values and have consistent and predictable behavior.

INTEGRITY. Courageous people know the difference between right and wrong. They don't just talk about honor, they live it every day - backing their words with their actions.

LEADERSHIP. Courageous people aren't deterred by adversity or afraid of what people may think of them.

COMPASSION. Courageous people put other people's needs ahead of their own.

OBJECTIVITY. Courageous people believe that people are willing to make tough decisions if the options are presented to them in an open, honest, and objective manner.

STRENGTH IN ADVERSITY. Courageous people aren't afraid of swimming against the tide or challenging the status quo. They stare adversity in the eye - running toward the problem rather than from it.

CHANGE MASTERS. Courageous people step outside their comfort zone to meet the challenges that lie ahead.

EMBRACE THE UNKNOWN. Courageous people follow their intuition. If information required to make a good decision isn't available, they follow their instincts.

ACTION. Courageous people put their money where their mouth is. They know that it's not enough to talk about doing something - instead, they act.

And finally, I want to share excerpts from an article titled, "4 Ironic Characteristics Of Courage." It was posted on blog.np.church and it was written by Jones Bob on April 5, 2018.

4 Ironic Characteristics Of Courage
1. Courage is not something that you already have that makes you brave when tough times start. Courage is what you earn when you've been through tough times.

2. Courage is not being fearless; courage is feeling afraid but facing your fear. Courage comes from acting in spite of your fear.

3. Courage doesn't always roar. Courage is choosing to forgive. Courage is coping with a disability. Courage is being vulnerable, asking for help, or admitting when you feel lost or hurt. Courage is freeing ourselves from the pressure of keeping up appearances.

4. Courage must be renewed. Yesterday's courage won't be enough for today's challenges. Courage must be re-learned and re-earned with each new adversity. That's the nature of courage. So don't be surprised by returning feelings of fear. They need to be faced again and again.

Look Sweet Friends, whoever you are and wherever you are, fear is normal. We all experience it. You and I were not made to not feel fear. We were however made to be courageous. My hope & prayer for every one of us is that we will courageously live this blessed life!

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families!

Kev