I hope and trust this post finds you all having had a great day on this beautiful Friday evening in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)
This past week, past 8 weeks, have been really big for me. I am going to pour out my heart, be transparent, and share with you the many lessons I have learned.
On Saturday, October 3, 2020, my family and I attended the University of Tennessee vs Missouri football game at Neyland Stadium. During the tailgate prior to the game, a friend I have known for 12 or so years, walked up to me and said, "Kev, I wish you would get those knees fixed. It kills me to watch you walk." And then he walked away. You see, I have known for nearly 30 years that at some point I would have to have my knees replaced. Each of the orthopedic surgeons I have gone to over the years stated something like, "It is obvious you need new knees...we just want to wait until you get older." So, I have been hobbling along - literally! :) - doing the best I can to get from here to there. Over the last few years I knew the problem had gotten worse, even though I didn't feel like I was walking with a limp, as complete strangers would walk up to me and say, "Knee?" or "I had my knees replaced."
When my friend said something, this time it stuck. As my family and I drove home on Sunday my Beautiful Bride talked about it. If there is ever going to be a good time in my line of work to do this type of thing, this is it due to the pandemic. Also, at the institution I serve, we are given two weeks off for the Christmas break. We decided this could, in fact, be the time. We decided I would 1) talk to my colleague at work who would have to pick up my slack for a couple of weeks and, pending her approval, 2) I would speak with my boss. By Tuesday of that week I had the blessing of both and scheduled an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. I was in the surgeon's office the next week, my surgery was scheduled for Monday, December 7th and we were off and running.
What I have been mindful of this whole time as I have gone through this was my friends one little comment; "Kev, I wish you would get those knees fixed. It kills me to watch you walk." He was not pushy, condescending, a know it all, or any of the other things people tend to do in those types of situations. He expressed concern, empathy, he showed me a path to a different way, and then he left it up to me to decide what to do with that information.
Lesson Learned: I learned what a real friend looks like, how they communicate. He didn't deny or ignore the problem, nor did he tell me I had to do what he thought I should to do. He loved me enough to speak truth, expressed concern, and then left it there. I have given this man credit every time I have told the story of how this all came to be however I did not call him until the night before the surgery because, being in a pandemic, we weren't certain it was actually going to occur until then. I thanked him and I made sure he knew how much I appreciated him and his friendship.
There were a lot of mental monsters to fight in the walk up - I crack myself up! :) - to the surgery. Would I, a family member, or a member of the surgical team get COVID and it would be off? What if I got an infection? What if I got a blood clot? And is it really wise to have both knees done at the same time...so many people told me it was not? What if I did not survive? Might sound like a crazy thought however it gets real when, during pre-op, the nurse asks if my wife has power of attorney and if I have a living will.
Once the surgery was set I had something I was working towards. I have pretty much always worked out but now I was working for a purpose, I had a game day coming up! Yes, the physical is important and I was keenly aware that the harder I could work, the better the shape I could get this body into, the better my surgery and my recovery would be. However the most important part of that workout time is that is my prayer time...and I can assure you, I prayed many fervent prayers! Every day, over and over, I cast each of the cares I listed above on the Lord and I left them there. And every single day the Lord gave me a deep, abiding peace.
Lesson Learned: These are really reaffirmations of things I have found in my life, however I am here to testify that I have found the following to be true:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4: 6 - 7
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5: 7
And something else my Spirit is pushing me to share with you; this very topic - worries, cares, concerns - gave my 15-year old Tender Warrior and I the opportunity for wonderful conversation. He asked at one point, very early on, how I so bravely deal with these things. And I poured my heart out to my boy. I told him, I am scared, really scared. And I told him how every day when I climb onto that exercise bike I picture a big 'ol lake over there and one by one, every single morning, I take every care and concern and cast them into that lake. I am grateful I had the opportunity to keep it real with my son - I am scared...I don't want to create some false sense of who I am or what he thinks he needs to be - but most importantly, I had the opportunity to teach him how to deal with it. Thank you, Jesus! :)
As you can imagine, trying to have major surgery during a pandemic can be a little tricky. As noted above, my surgery was scheduled for Monday, December 7th. I had told my leadership team at work however I had not yet told the entire team. On Monday, November 30th I did all my pre-op stuff so on Tuesday, December 1st, I decided to tell the entire team. I kid you not, at 3:30 p.m. that day I got a call from the doctors office letting me know that my surgery was being moved to Friday, December 11th. Felt like a punch in the gut...was getting pretty cranked up at this point for everything. Had worked my tail off to get all of my Christmas stuff done - lights up, presents bought, gifts carved, etc. Just more stuff to cast on the Lord! :)
I was surprised that they did not mention anything about getting a new COVID test or any other pre-op stuff. Then, on Wednesday, December 9th, I got a call from the doctors office. I need to go in either that day or the next to have all my blood work done again as too much time had passed since my last blood work. I went and got everything done and yes, they did another COVID test. Then here is the double kicker: 1) They will only call you if your COVID test is positive, and 2) They will call you after Noon on Thursday, December 10th with your surgery time. That night my mind was racing. Is it going to happen or not? Do I have COVID? All over the place. And then my Bride's cell phone buzzed. It was a message for me from a friend. I am not particularly close to those beautiful, Godly women, though I am close to her daughter and son-in-law. Her message was a beautiful God-inspired message and in that specific moment I knew this surgery was going to happen!
Lesson Learned: God will use us in people's lives if we let Him. This precious woman had no idea the struggle I was going through. She simply knew that God placed a message on her heart so she sent it. To me, it meant everything. He used her to speak to me however He never could have done that if she were not a willing servant.
So it is now Thursday night, December 10th, less that 12 hours from game day! The mental struggle is real...all the thoughts are racing through my mind. And so I did what I have been blessed to be able to do for nearly 20 years now; I sent a text message to 8 Godly men who are my Prayer Warriors. As my family and I have faced storms of life and of nature, I have reached out to them for prayer. And every single time these Godly men have shown up and prayed for my family and I. How blessed am I?
I sent that text and my phone began to buzz and in that moment, the deepest peace I have ever felt enveloped me. I knew it was going to all be good and in that moment, the Holy Spirit convicted me to change my prayers. I was no longer praying that I would survive surgery, that everything would be o.k. No, my prayer was now that I would thrive through surgery and specifically that God would bring me the physicians, nurses, technicians and cleaning staff who need to see a light, who needed encouragement poured into them. And man did He deliver! I was so blessed to love on and encourage so many wonderful physicians, nurses, techs and staff.
Lesson Learned: I pray every person who reads this will have a group of people you can just be real with and ask them to pray for you. I hope everyone gets to feel what I felt last Friday morning walking into that hospital; the perfectly clear picture I see in my mind is me walking in a circle of 8 Godly men, each wearing the full Armor of God. There was no fear! There was no doubt! There was no worry! Any attack would have to come through these great Godly men who were storming the gates of Heaven on my behalf. I had God, these men had me...all attacks would fail!
Something else happened somewhere along this journey. A couple of weeks out from the surgery I asked my Beautiful Bride if I was crazy for doing this. I floated out the idea that perhaps I really didn't have to do this. While I might walk with a limp, at least I could walk. She gently, sweetly touched my hand and told me everything was going to be o.k. That, yes, the short-term is going to be a struggle but there are better days coming.
Lesson Learned: I was utterly amazed at how ready I was to stay stuck in something less than ideal because of the worries, cares, concerns, etc. If we are real, don't we all do this? As I stated, I didn't even realize I limp. Pain had become such a constant part of my life that it had become my "normal." Why do we do this? Why do we choose to stay in pain instead of doing the hard work of fixing the problem? Currently walking this path, I want to encourage you to endure the pain. I promise you it is so worth it! I want to share two quick stories to illustrate the point:
1. On Saturday the Physical Therapists came to take me for a walk...yes, going for a walk 1 day after double knee replacement - medicine is amazing and our health care providers are phenomenal! Anyways, I take a few steps and I stop. My eyes are a little moist and I exclaim, "Oh! My! Gosh!" Scared the heck out of the pour Therapist! She asks me what is wrong and I explain to her that absolutely nothing is wrong but I am feeling overwhelmed by all that is right. You see, I was walking on and feeling my whole foot. Friends, I have never felt that in my entire life! I was so bow-legged that I walked primarily on the outside of my feet. With my knees fixed, I, for the first time in 53 years of life was feeling what it was like to walk "normally."
2. One night earlier this week, I think it was Monday though I am not completely sure, my Bride and I were in bed. And as I laid there I realized I felt absolutely zero pain in my legs...0!!! Again, I can't recall a time in my life I had ever felt zero pain in my legs. And now? This is my new normal! :)
Finally, I have to tell you about the countless people who have blessed the heck out of my family and I over this past week. They have prayed for us, texted and called us, provided meals for us...I am overwhelmed typing it! I can't tell you how much every prayer, every word of encouragement, every phone call, every meal has meant to us. Thank you Lord for blessing this man and his family so much! :) We are so very grateful for each and every one of them.
Lesson Learned: Please don't ever kid yourself; your words and actions matter! YOU have the power to positively influence the lives of others. YOU don't have to perform some grand gesture, you simply have to perform with your HEART. Please don't ever question or doubt the impact you will have in the lives of others...I know a man and his family whose lives were profoundly impacted! :)
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great night, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!
Kev
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