Friday, December 4, 2020

We Must CHOOSE To Grow

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

This weeks Happy Friday is going to be equal parts inviting y'all to join me on a journey and encouragement. I started reading a new book - The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You And Your Greatness by Lolly Daskal. Here are a couple of excerpts from the introduction:

"This is the mistake that highly driven, overachieving leaders make every day. They have soared to the greatest heights on the basis of what they know. But there comes a time when they must rethink everything and ask themselves: What is the gap between who I am and who I want to be, and do I know what it is I still need to learn?"

"Learning to recognize your leadership gap is the factor that determines your greatness as a leader. Not recognizing it is your downfall."

Growth, or the lack thereof, is a choice. Yes, this is a leadership book and it is about choosing to grow as a leader however I believe the same applies to us as men and women, husbands and wives, Dads and Moms, as friends. We all have gaps - the space between who we are and who we want to be...perhaps I should say who we were created to be. But what of it? Are you and I willing to explore where these gaps are and, perhaps most importantly, do the things we need to do to fill those gaps.

As I was preparing to write this Happy Friday this morning I caught this visual of a small child. We are all well aware of the gaps between who they are and who they were created to be. We are confident in their ability to close those gaps, to learn and grow. We learn to hold ourselves up, sit up, crawl, walk, etc. We start off unable to speak. Then we start jabbering. This progresses to words, generally inaudible to anyone other than Mom and Dad however before long we start form short sentences. You get the point. Here is the question; how many people do you know who are exactly the same as they were a year ago? Two years ago? Five years ago? How about you and I? Now, the reality is we are changing however the real issue is we fight so hard against the changes. We say things like, "I am who I am" or "I am too old to change now." Can you imagine a little child saying the same? Of course not! It is silly to propose and it would be very sad as they would fail to grow into who they were created to become. Sadly, we have a whole lot of little kids walking around in adult bodies, stuck in their growth and development. I want to encourage us to choose different: to commit to learn and grow each and every day of our lives.

I think there are a couple of things that really get in our way:

1. We are afraid to admit our gaps because this means we are failures, worthless or any number of other self-defeating words we will speak over ourselves. According to my Bible, you and I are fearfully and wonderfully made, created on purpose for a great purpose for which we are perfectly equipped, lacking nothing. So what gives? Gaps, in any of the roles we fill, do not make us failures or worthless, they simply prove we are human. If however we are so busy denying our gaps, we give ourselves no opportunity to fill them. Having gaps does not make us inferior however failing or being unwilling to see and correct them will prevent us from becoming all that we were created to become. Please Friends, let's not be afraid of who we are but rather let's embrace who we are and then strive every day to become the best version of who we were created to become. 

2. We get stuck in our ways. There is a saying: "We are either getting better or worse every day. We never stay the same." Are we being intentional in our growth? Are we choosing every day to challenge ourselves mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically? We are either getting better or worse every day. We never stay the same. We think we are staying the same, we fight hard to stay the same however life dictates that we change. Don't believe me? Please, go look at a picture of yourself from 5 or 10 years ago. Have you ever done that and said something like, "Look at how I am dressed! What was I thinking?!" We all have! :)

So, we can live in ignorant bliss, thinking we are staying the same, perhaps denying the gaps that we have or, we can choose a different path. We can choose to love and accept who we are - I sincerely pray that everyone reading this does - and at the same time be firmly committed to learning, growing and becoming the best version of who we were created to be. They are not competing ideas; if we truly choose to love and accept who we were created to be, the desire to become all that we were created to be will naturally flow from it. Please Friends, lets commit to learning our gaps in all aspects of our lives and then learning to maximize our strengths and minimize the things that prevent us from becoming all we were created to become. And please remember, this beautiful life is not a destination - we don't arrive at a point one day where we get to stop and spend the rest of our days - but rather a journey that is to be lived fully, each and every day.

I want to close with a few quotes I shared on social media earlier this week as I thought about the concept of leadership gaps.

"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen, again and again, fear must be overcome again and again." - Abraham Maslow

"Growth can be painful, change can be painful but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong." - Charles H. Spurgeon

"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living." - Gail Sheehy

And I want to share another quote from Lolly. This one doesn't really have anything to do with what we are talking about however I loved it and just wanted to share it with y'all this morning! :)

"If you want to be remembered, be kind.

If you want to leave your mark, be generous.

If you want to make a difference, be attentive.

If you want to be forgiven, be apologetic.

If you wan to learn, be teachable." - Lolly Daskal

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev

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