The Crucible

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Saturday morning from the great state of Missouri! :)

What a last few days it has been! On Thursday my youngest Tender Warrior, Landry, my Beautiful Bride, Kathy, and I drove from Alabama to Illinois. As soon as we got there we loaded up Payton's, my oldest Tender Warrior, stuff into a U-Haul. Yesterday we drove from Illinois to Missouri, unloaded it into his 3rd floor - 3rd floor!!!! - apartment and began the task of putting together a home.  While it has certainly been busy, the testimony would not be accurate if I didn't tell you everything has gone great and, despite being tired, we have truly had the best time together! This does, however, explain why I am quietly typing Happy Friday in a hotel room on a Saturday morning while everyone else is asleep! :)

This morning I simply want to share a few thoughts, reflections, and hopefully put a few tools in your toolbox as we all journey down this beautiful path called life. 

Crucible - merriam-webster.com defines crucible as "a severe test" and "a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause or influence change or development."

Two quick questions:

1. What do you value? Or, more specifically, what are your values?

2. How do you know?

I will tell you where these questions come from. Our leadership team at work is working through the book, The Leadership Challenge. We are at the beginning, discussing values. We have challenged ourselves with really reflecting on, and writing down, our values. This is important because the things you and I do, the decisions we make, are all run through the filter of our values. We will not do anything, at least not consistently, that runs counter to our values. Having clarity around our values helps lead, guide, and direct us in our decision making and, when we are able to accurately communicate them to others, it also helps us in building relationships. And there is one real key component in all that; I don't have to have the same values as you to respect you, to like you, or to be your friend. I do have to know who I am and I do believe I should respect who you are. If either one of us has to compromise our values, or if either one of us is trying to change the other, we don't have a healthy relationship.

So now, to get more to the point of what I want to talk about this morning; how do you know what you truly value? How do you know what your values are? I would offer that we don't, not really, until they are put to the test. We can say we value something, we can believe we value something, however the moment of absolute clarity, of absolute truth, will come with the testing of that value, that belief. And the tests don't always have to be big, grandiose, tests...they can happen in a million small tests every day.

So a couple of things I want to encourage all of us to think about this morning:

1. I want to encourage us all to embrace the crucibles. Yes, I am serious! :) No, none of us want problems and challenges. We spend most of our lives trying to avoid them. However it is in the tests of life that we learn, grow, and become all we are capable of becoming. It is in the tests that we find out what we truly believe, we find abilities we did not know we had, and we find out how strong we truly are. It is a matter of shifting our perspective. Instead of looking at challenges and problems as something that should be avoided at all costs, the next time we find ourselves in them, let's lean in and ask ourselves what we can learn. Let's not doubt our abilities but rather look at the countless challenges we have already overcome at this point in our lives and know, based on our past history of success, that we will overcome this challenge, this obstacle, as well.

I also want to encourage us all to also think about where we are going to go, what are we going to turn to, where are we going to find our strength when these challenges and obstacles come. The reality is we are all going to face them...how will we deal with them? Some people turn to faith, some people turn to alcohol and drugs, some people simply run. The choices we make in these crucible moments are going to greatly impact the men and women, husbands and wives, dads and moms, the friends, that we will become.

I want to share a couple of lyrics from Lauren Daigle's song "Peace Be Still". These lyrics speak to my heart so powerfully! And I would also encourage you to listen to the song.

"I don't want to be afraid/Every time I face the waves/I don't want to be afraid/I don't want to be afraid/I don't want to fear the storm/Just because I hear the roar/ I don't want to fear the storm/I don't want to fear the storm

Peace be still/Say the word and I will/Set my feet upon the sea/Till I'm dancing in the deep/Oh peace be still/You are here so it is well/Even when my eyes can't see/I will trust the voice that speaks

I'm not gonna be afraid/'Cause these waves are only waves/I'm not gonna be afraid/I'm not gonna be afraid/I'm not gonna fear the storm/You are greater than it's roar/I'm not gonna fear the storm/I'm not gonna fear at all"

Please, look it up and listen to it. Reading the words, though powerful, do not do justice to it. And I want to encourage you, Sweet Friends, as you encounter the storms of life, the big one's and the little one's, lean into them, give your very best to them, and trust God to lead you through them. I can testify, having walked this out, God is good and it always works out!

2. One of the things I am not real fond of is saying, "If I was that person, I would do [fill in the blank]." I need to be very careful because I don't know everything there is to know about that person and that situation. Heck, I have a hard enough time keep up with my own stuff! :)

Barry Corey, in his book Love Kindness, talks about having a firm center and soft edges. Know who you are, what you stand for, what you believe and don't compromise these things...the cost is to great! And at the same time, be loving and kind to those who you encounter on your life journey. Not one time does the Bible tell us to judge or ridicule others. Not one time does the Bible tell us that we should be telling other people how to live their lives, what decisions they should be making, and it certainly doesn't tell us to belittle them. Over and over again we are told to love people - for who they are, where they are. Firm center and soft edges...this would be a great legacy to leave.

I can't sit here and honestly tell you that I hope you and I have no challenges or problems for I know I would then be wishing that you and I don't continue to learn, grow, and become all that we were created to become. I do wish us all great faith, wisdom, and courage as we continue on our life journey's. I do hope and pray that we lean in and then we strive every day of our lives to become all that we were created to become and that we tirelessly give of ourselves to love, care for, and serve others.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well.

Kev