Let's Talk

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious new day in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

Last week I was out to dinner with a friend. This friend was telling me how another friend was hurt because I had not reached out to that person in a while. My heart sunk. I knew this friend was right, I should have been intentional about reaching out to the other person, but I hadn't. While my mind wanted to scream all of the reasons why it had not been possible to do so - reasons I won't even share here now, however I will explain why I won't share them in a moment - my heart knew this friend was right. I had failed, simple as that.

So over the course of the next couple of days I thought, and prayed, about that situation. Two things I quickly determined in my mind:

1. I would go see this person as soon as possible.

2. When I saw this person I would offer no excuses, I would simply say, "I am sorry." And then, most importantly, I would become highly intentional moving forward.

You see, I didn't want to offer excuses - valid or not - because I didn't want to excuse away something I could have changed...I didn't want to give up the power to change. This is the same reason I don't want to share any of them now...I don't want to blame what I did not do on anything other than myself. I want to lean in, as uncomfortable as it is, learn from the experience, and change. I want to own my response and therefore, own the power to change it!

So that is what I did. I went to see this other friend. After some small talk I said, "I simply want to tell you I am sorry." The friend knew what I was talking about and immediately said, "Because you forgot about me?" I said, "No, I didn't forget about you. I simply failed to do what I should do." This friend then began to make excuses for me! And then I simply said, "I do not want to, nor will I, offer any excuses. I simply want to say I am sorry. And I fully realize that the most important factor in all of this going forward is whether or not my behavior changes. Please hold me accountable to that!" And that was it. It was a beautiful meeting, one that I am grateful for. Comfortable? Hardly! Did I learn and grow? Absolutely! Did it hurt? Yes, it usually does when we learn, grow, and change! Am I a better man and is the relationship with this person better because of the road we have walked? Without question! :)

So there are just a couple of things I want to offer up to us as a challenge this morning:

1. Instead of looking out the window and finding the fault in other people, situations, and/or circumstances, I want to encourage each one of us to look within first. Yes, you very well may have an explanation or excuse, there may be a justification for why you have done or not done what you did or did not do. Bottom line is this...just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Having just walked this path I want to testify that it is absolutely uncomfortable however it is so worth it! Please, take back the power that you do have, the power to change and do things differently, as opposed to choosing to be the victim. I promise you, you will be a better person and your relationships will be stronger, if you will take the road less traveled...the road of accountability! :)

2. Talk to people. It goes back to the quote, "We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions." Let's stop judging and start talking! We make so many assumptions, much to the detriment of our relationships. Instead of taking the easy way out, judging and dismissing, go the route of caring, learning, growing, and changing - actually go talk to the person and find out what their intentions were, what are they trying to say, why are they saying/doing it, etc. If we will choose this harder right, we will find that most people are pure-hearted, that they, just like you and I, are doing the very best they can. Most people don't wake up hoping to be a failure or to harm another person, they are just living their lives to the best of their abilities...just like you and I. The quality of our lives, and of the relationships we have, will improve exponentially if we will simply choose to talk to people instead of judging them. 

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, please stay well, and Happy Easter! :)

Kev