What Do You Always Do?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! Let’s intentionally choose to make this one a masterpiece! 😊

Earlier this week I was listening to a Life.Church with Craig Groeschel sermon titled Selfless, Part 2: Faithful in Service. Pastor Groeschel preached the message on January 14, 2018, and you can watch it on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gIKGsreQck

What he starts off the sermon with, and the challenge of this Happy Friday, is this; “If somebody were to describe you with the word ‘always,’ what would they say? What would they say you are always doing?”

Please Friends, stop and think about it for a moment…the options are limitless.

Is it, “He is always out for himself” or is it, “He is always serving others”?

Is it, “She is always worried and stressed” or is it, “She is always walking out her faith”?

Is it, “He is only nice to those he thinks are important or can do something for him” or is it, “He is always nice to everyone”? (I bolded, italicized, and underlined “everyone” to emphasize that I literally mean everyone – including those who don’t believe what we believe, act like we act, think like we think, look like we look, etc.)

You get the point! And I am sure if you are like most of us, you are shifting in your seat a little bit right now! Let’s unpack this…

First, something that should scare the heck out of all of us is “always” is measurable. When the word “always” is used, it literally means “at all times; on all occasions.” It doesn’t mean when we feel like it, we are having a good day, things are going our way, etc. Always literally means always and that is a very high bar! 😊

Now, the honest answer is none of us are always able to do, act, and be all that we want or what we were created to do, act, and be. Unfortunately, we are flawed and broken and thus, we will not be able to always achieve always – yes, I meant to say it that way! 😊 Please don’t be discouraged, Friends, there is Good News! Jesus Christ died for our sins and, if we accept him as our Lord and personal Savior, not only are we assured eternity in Heaven, but we are also promised that the Holy Spirit – who is described as comforter, counselor, advocate, among other adjectives – will dwell within us. If we choose to allow Him to lead our lives, He will transform us into all that we were created and called to become. So, the next time you stumble, when you miss the mark of “always,” please simply take it as a friendly reminder that we need to rely on God.

A couple of points that Pastor Groeschel brought up that I thought were excellent…

He said, “Serving is not just what we do, at its core, it is who we are!” It reminds me of something I read several years ago when I was asked to develop a customer service program. I was reading a book on customer service, and it said something like, everyone is worried about what they are going to do, however what we really need to focus on is who we are going to be. You see, Friends, who we believe we are, what we say about ourselves, will determine how we act. So instead of saying, “I am always going to serve,” perhaps the message to ourselves is, “Serving is not what I do, it is who I am.” What we believe, think, and say about ourselves determines how we act…What would they say you are always doing?

Pastor Groeschel then pointed to a beautiful testimony in the Bible. Acts 9:36 says:

36 In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (in Greek her name is Dorcas); she was always doing good and helping the poor.

You see it? “She was always doing good…” What a beautiful legacy! What would they say you are always doing?

Ultimately, it is up to each one of us, individually, as to how people will answer that question. Please remember, it is not our hopes or our intentions that will determine how they answer that question, it will be our consistent actions that answer it. If we do an honest assessment and don’t like the answer, today would be a great day to begin changing the narrative!

While I respect you will choose whatever you want for your “always,” I am going to strive to become selfless – always! – as I believe I have been called to be. With this, I am going to close this Happy Friday with a few quotes about being selfless:

Mark 10:45

45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

“Learn to love without condition. Talk without bad intention. Give without any reason. And most of all, care for people without any exception.” – Anonymous

“Day after day, ordinary people become heroes through extraordinary and selfless actions.” - Sylvia Mathews Burwell

“True leaders are selfless. They have always been servants of the people first.” – Anonymous

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev

Gossip

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! Let’s run into this day with teachable spirits, servants’ hearts, and let’s create a masterpiece! 😊

A couple of weeks ago I listened to a sermon from Life.Church titled, My Big Fat Mouth, Part 4: Gossip. It originally aired on October 1, 2017, and the message was taught by Pastor Sam Roberts. It was, by far, the best, most profound message on gossip that I have ever heard. You can watch the original message here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2rO4FRh6Ww If you have trouble with the link simply search “My Big Fat Mouth, Part 4: Gossip” and it will pop right up. For those of you who don’t have 37 minutes or so to watch it, I am going to share my notes from the message here.

Proverbs 18:8

8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.

The further it is shared, the further it gets from the truth.

Rumors sink deep into a person’s heart.

Everything that is said must be true, but not everything that is true must be said!

Proverbs 16:28

28 A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.

Gossip hurts the listener.

Proverbs 17:4

4 Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip; liars pay close attention to slander.

If you listen to gossip, you are wrong.

Gossip hurts the speaker.

Proverbs 25:9-10

9 When arguing with your neighbor, don’t betray another person’s secret. 10 Others may accuse you of gossip, and you will never regain your good reputation.

When you speak badly about someone who is not around, it says a whole lot more about you than the person you are speaking about!

Two things to not gossip:

1. Guard your ears.

You can stop gossip with one question; “why are you telling me this?”

It causes the person to stop and take a mental inventory.

Ask, “have you had the chance to speak with so and so about this?”

Matthew 18:15

15 “If another believer[a] sins against you,[b] go privately and point out the offense.

2. Close your mouth.

Proverbs 20:19

19 A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with chatterers.

Don’t hang around chatterers.

Proverbs 21:23

23 Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.

Luke 6:31

31 Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

Ask yourself, “Would I want someone speaking the same kind of information about me if I was not around?”

The problem is not our big fat mouth, the problem is our sin-stained heart – out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

Gossip claims I am strong because they are weak. The gospel teaches that we are weak and only He is strong.

What if you got caught not gossiping but encouraging?

I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t also share the Rotary 4-way test here. I am copying and pasting this information from the Rotary website. You can find all the information at https://my.rotary.org/en/guiding-principles

The Four-Way Test

The Four-Way Test is a nonpartisan and nonsectarian ethical guide for Rotarians to use for their personal and professional relationships.

Of the things we think, say, or do:

Is it the TRUTH?

Is it FAIR to all concerned?

Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?

Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

The challenge is simple this week: what will your influence be? I seriously doubt that I have shared one thing here that has surprised anyone. We all know that it is not right to talk poorly of another, to share their secrets, or to point out a failing moment that they had in their life. Let us all remember, it has never been intentions that create the life we live, it is only our actions. Let’s live to the fullness of who we were created to be and rise about “what everyone else is doing.” Let’s be intentional, positive, and encouraging…always!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev 😊

Learning From My Son

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! I am genuinely grateful, and so excited, to live this day! 😊

In 2008 my family and I took a trip to New York City for the first time. It was the last season that the Yankees would play in the original Yankee Stadium, the same stadium that Lou Gehrig had once played in. We wanted to go so my middle Tender Warrior, Gehrig, could see where the man he is named after once played. We had the most amazing trip ever! I have to testify that we found the city and the people to be amazing! They were kind, they were gracious, and our trip truly could not have gone better!

For months before that trip, Gehrig saved his money. Christmas money, birthday money, just because Grandma and Grandpa “love me” money…he saved it all. I don’t remember the exact amount, however I do remember that it was over $100, a lot of money for an 8-year-old, when we got to New York. On our very first day we stopped by a McDonalds to get something to eat. Gehrig walked up to me, stated he had seen a homeless person outside, and asked if he could go give his money to the homeless person. I told Gehrig that he could give the person the money if he wanted to however, I was not going to help him out for the rest of the trip…it would mean that he wouldn’t be able to buy anything for himself during the trip. He didn’t look at me long before he walked out the door, walked up to the homeless person, and gave him all the money he had saved for the trip. He had listened to the conviction of his spirit, and I was proud of him.

Last Friday night, Gehrig and I were going to dinner together. We had originally planned to meet at 6:00 p.m. however he had reached out to me and let me know we were going to need to push it back to 6:15 p.m. I walked in, got us a table, and sat down. It was 6:20 p.m. (love the time stamp on text messages). I texted him, let him know that I was sitting down, and that I had ordered the wings that I knew he wanted. He called and let me know he would be right there. I had not eaten much that day and I was hungry…o.k., getting “hangry” (yes, this is the beginning of my justification!). Here is the text exchange between Gehrig and I at 6:34 p.m. (it is now almost a full 15 minutes later, and I am full on “hangry” now!):

Me: “You good?”

Gehrig: “Yes I’m at the atm”

Gehrig: “Giving money to a homeless person”

Gehrig: “About to walk in”

Gehrig: “Sorry”

Stop judging me! 😊 As soon as I read the last text, I was caught in this weird space of feeling incredibly embarrassed that I was getting irritated and this great joy that the Tender Warrior was 1) still noticing people in need, and 2) doing whatever he could do to help them…regardless of whether he was on his way to dinner with his dad or not. I hope I grow up to be the man Gehrig is!  

Two lessons I am continuing to learn from Gehrig by the life he lives:

First, he always notices the person in need. About 3 years before the New York City trip (this would make Gehrig about 5 or 6 then), one of the ladies that I worked with came up and told me that he had asked her about a problem she was having that she had told him about a couple of weeks earlier. What 5- or 6-year-old does that? How many 50- or 60-year-olds do that?! As Gehrig got into high school and began driving, it was not uncommon for him to come home and tell me he had stopped to help someone whose car had broken down, picked up a friend who needed a ride, etc. I have come to believe that it is not that he is a magnet for these things, it is that he notices these things. The needs are all around us, it is just that some people notice, and others are too consumed in their own lives, like me, to notice.

Second, to this day, Gehrig will do anything he can to help anyone. I honestly cannot sit here and think of a single time that the kid has ever said no to someone who needed help. Now, he will sleep until 10:00, 10:30, or 11:00 if given the opportunity to do so, however I have also seen him get up before 8:00 to go help a friend move or something similar. And it is not that it has happened just once or twice, it has happened several times. I have told countless people, if you are ever in trouble and need help, call Gehrig. He will move Heaven and earth to help you.

While I try to be present, to notice others that might be in need, I am not even in Gehrig’s league in terms of the consistency with which he does it. It is a gift he has, and he is truly exceptional at it. And in terms of always showing up…well, let’s just say I have a lot to learn from my son.

Gehrig made a decision when he was 8 years old, he determined what his influence would be in the life of any person in need and his “hangry” Dad is here to testify that he is still living it out, 15 years later. He is honoring his calling…and it is beautiful to witness. So, my question, my challenge, for you and I is this: What will your influence be?

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please stay well, and please cherish your precious families!

Kev

Ladder or Pit?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! I am genuinely excited to live this day! 😊

My Mom loved a devotional called, Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young. There were countless times she would call me and say, “Baby, you gotta hear this” and then excitedly read me what was in the devotional that day. Heck, she even did it after she had given me one that my Beautiful Bride and I read every day…knowing full well that we had, or would, read whatever she was going to read to me! 😊

There are a couple of things that have nothing to do with this Happy Friday, however it is on my heart to share them with you.

First, I remember several times I was in a hurry to get off the phone with my mom. I had to run to work, get the boys ready, eat breakfast, etc. There is always something, isn’t there? Now, as I sit here typing this, there is nearly nothing I would not give to hear my moms voice just one more time….to be able to just sit and visit with her. I want to encourage all of us to slow down and genuinely cherish our loved ones. Time is short and we never know when we won’t be able to hear their voice again.

Second, I am struck by the irony; from the time I was a young man my mom would read a devotional to me every morning. She gave me a lot of grace, especially through my teenage years. There were times I barely acknowledged her presence, let alone listen to what she was reading. As I fell in love with My Girl in high school and we eventually got married, my mom would read to us. Slowly, over time, Kath started reading to us when we weren’t with my mom. Now, every morning before I leave for work, my Beautiful Bride pulls out Jesus Calling, the one my Mom gave her – she wrote her a precious note telling her how much she loved her and how she hoped it would bless her as much as it had blessed my Mom…been a long time since I have seen that beautiful, unmistakable, handwriting – and she reads it for us. It was like there was this beautiful handoff from the first woman I ever loved to the woman I get to love for the rest of my life. So very blessed! Thank you, Mom. I love you and miss you so much!

Here is an excerpt from Jesus Calling that my Beautiful Bride read to me on April 26^th:

“If you encounter a problem with no immediate solution, your response to that situation will take you either up or down. You can lash out at the difficulty, resenting it and feeling sorry for yourself. This will take you down into a pit of self-pity. Alternatively, the problem can become a ladder, enabling you to climb up and see your life from My perspective. Viewed from above, the obstacle that frustrated you is only a light and momentary trouble.”

That analogy really resonated with me. Because life is, well, life I encountered many problems over the next couple of days. And clear as day I would visualize a ladder…the opportunity to climb up above, to grow, to overcome whatever was before me, to see things from a different perspective. And, as you would expect, how I went through the storm, how I handled the storm, and how I came out of the storm were vastly different than they would have been had I thrown a one-man pity party. I grew, I became better, and I had peace throughout. So blessed and genuinely grateful!

So, Friends, the next time you face an adversity, what will you see? Will you see the pit and take the path that leads to it? Or will you take a different path and climb the ladder? Each of us will make a choice and we will have to choose over and over again, each time we face a problem, challenge, or difficulty. We have freewill and therefore can choose any path we wish. Each however has its own set of natural consequences…. we are not free to choose those, we simply must live with the outcome of having chosen the ladder or the pit.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev