Learning From My Son

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! I am genuinely grateful, and so excited, to live this day! 😊

In 2008 my family and I took a trip to New York City for the first time. It was the last season that the Yankees would play in the original Yankee Stadium, the same stadium that Lou Gehrig had once played in. We wanted to go so my middle Tender Warrior, Gehrig, could see where the man he is named after once played. We had the most amazing trip ever! I have to testify that we found the city and the people to be amazing! They were kind, they were gracious, and our trip truly could not have gone better!

For months before that trip, Gehrig saved his money. Christmas money, birthday money, just because Grandma and Grandpa “love me” money…he saved it all. I don’t remember the exact amount, however I do remember that it was over $100, a lot of money for an 8-year-old, when we got to New York. On our very first day we stopped by a McDonalds to get something to eat. Gehrig walked up to me, stated he had seen a homeless person outside, and asked if he could go give his money to the homeless person. I told Gehrig that he could give the person the money if he wanted to however, I was not going to help him out for the rest of the trip…it would mean that he wouldn’t be able to buy anything for himself during the trip. He didn’t look at me long before he walked out the door, walked up to the homeless person, and gave him all the money he had saved for the trip. He had listened to the conviction of his spirit, and I was proud of him.

Last Friday night, Gehrig and I were going to dinner together. We had originally planned to meet at 6:00 p.m. however he had reached out to me and let me know we were going to need to push it back to 6:15 p.m. I walked in, got us a table, and sat down. It was 6:20 p.m. (love the time stamp on text messages). I texted him, let him know that I was sitting down, and that I had ordered the wings that I knew he wanted. He called and let me know he would be right there. I had not eaten much that day and I was hungry…o.k., getting “hangry” (yes, this is the beginning of my justification!). Here is the text exchange between Gehrig and I at 6:34 p.m. (it is now almost a full 15 minutes later, and I am full on “hangry” now!):

Me: “You good?”

Gehrig: “Yes I’m at the atm”

Gehrig: “Giving money to a homeless person”

Gehrig: “About to walk in”

Gehrig: “Sorry”

Stop judging me! 😊 As soon as I read the last text, I was caught in this weird space of feeling incredibly embarrassed that I was getting irritated and this great joy that the Tender Warrior was 1) still noticing people in need, and 2) doing whatever he could do to help them…regardless of whether he was on his way to dinner with his dad or not. I hope I grow up to be the man Gehrig is!  

Two lessons I am continuing to learn from Gehrig by the life he lives:

First, he always notices the person in need. About 3 years before the New York City trip (this would make Gehrig about 5 or 6 then), one of the ladies that I worked with came up and told me that he had asked her about a problem she was having that she had told him about a couple of weeks earlier. What 5- or 6-year-old does that? How many 50- or 60-year-olds do that?! As Gehrig got into high school and began driving, it was not uncommon for him to come home and tell me he had stopped to help someone whose car had broken down, picked up a friend who needed a ride, etc. I have come to believe that it is not that he is a magnet for these things, it is that he notices these things. The needs are all around us, it is just that some people notice, and others are too consumed in their own lives, like me, to notice.

Second, to this day, Gehrig will do anything he can to help anyone. I honestly cannot sit here and think of a single time that the kid has ever said no to someone who needed help. Now, he will sleep until 10:00, 10:30, or 11:00 if given the opportunity to do so, however I have also seen him get up before 8:00 to go help a friend move or something similar. And it is not that it has happened just once or twice, it has happened several times. I have told countless people, if you are ever in trouble and need help, call Gehrig. He will move Heaven and earth to help you.

While I try to be present, to notice others that might be in need, I am not even in Gehrig’s league in terms of the consistency with which he does it. It is a gift he has, and he is truly exceptional at it. And in terms of always showing up…well, let’s just say I have a lot to learn from my son.

Gehrig made a decision when he was 8 years old, he determined what his influence would be in the life of any person in need and his “hangry” Dad is here to testify that he is still living it out, 15 years later. He is honoring his calling…and it is beautiful to witness. So, my question, my challenge, for you and I is this: What will your influence be?

Please don’t hesitate to contact me at any time if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please stay well, and please cherish your precious families!

Kev