Be Kind

Happy Friday, Friends:

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Friday morning in My Sweet Home Alabama!

 

Are you nice? Are you kind? Do you know the difference? Does it matter if you are nice or kind?

 

The difference between these two has been bouncing around in my mind for a while, so I decided to learn more. I found a wonderful article on Forbes.com titled Why You Should Learn To Differentiate Between Nice And Kind. It was written by Svetlana Whitener and published on Aug 29, 2023. I am going to share excerpts; however, you can read the full article here: https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2023/08/29/why-you-should-learn-to-differentiate-between-nice-and-kind/

 

“Being nice means being polite, pleasant and agreeable in a given social situation. It arises from expectations around how we should act with regard to others and is considered a form of social conditioning.

 

However, when we are being nice, we are not necessarily being genuine; we might be motivated by fear of rejection or some other less desirable outcome.”

 

“Ultimately, being nice is attributable to being selfish. We act nicely because we want something in return: either for the other person to be nice to us in return or to provide us with something more tangible. Being nice can even be considered a form of manipulation that enables you to get what you want out of a situation.”

 

“Being kind, on the other hand, is based on genuinely caring about others and doing things for them with the intention of a good or positive outcome for them, not yourself. Acts of kindness may or may not personally benefit the person being kind; they tend to be selfless and come from a place of compassion, empathy and generosity.”

 

“Behaving nicely often prevents us from speaking up, giving constructive feedback or standing up for what’s right. Niceness does very little to change the status quo and mostly doesn’t amount to much positive or meaningful.

 

On the other hand, being kind allows us to communicate honestly and respectfully. It has great power to make truly positive changes, effect progress or simply make someone else's life a little bit more bearable.”

 

The examples the writer shared to illustrate the difference between the two helped crystallize it for me.

 

·       “A coworker you're friendly with is sick and misses some work. Being nice is telling them you hope they get better soon. Being kind is going out of your way to keep them informed of events concerning them in the workplace.

 

·       A local charity is organizing a fundraising event. Being nice is saying you respect what they are doing. Being kind is obtaining approval to solicit for the charity at work.

 

·       You’re at the watercooler (assuming such still exist), and you hear a racist joke. Being nice is keeping silent or laughing politely. Being kind is speaking up and stating that it was inappropriate and offensive.

 

·       A coworker and friend is struggling with money and looking for a second job. Being nice is saying you hope they get that second job. Being kind is buying them some groceries and offering to listen to their job interview pitch.”

 

Thought-provoking, isn’t it?

 

I also want to share a few excerpts from an article written by Caroline Bologna titled, Nice vs. Kind: The Difference Is Significant, which was published on msn.com. You can read the full article here:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/other/nice-vs-kind-the-difference-is-significant/ar-AA1Dg6xD

 

“Houston Kraft, author of “Deep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness,” noted that the word kindness denotes “action, quality or state.”

 

“Putting the pieces together, kindness is a deliberate action of friendliness or care that chooses to see others as if they were connected to you in some meaningful way,” he said. “It is a choice to practice empathy, connection and generosity to meet the needs of another.”

 

“Kraft described kindness as “proactive” and “care-oriented,” whereas niceness is more “reactive” and “I-oriented.”

 

“Kindness moves beyond feelings and conveniences,” he said. “It is a deliberate choice to bring encouragement, support or appreciation to yourself or others. Nice is pleasant, but doesn’t usually require much pain. It is non-sacrificial and, as such, rarely makes a lasting difference. Most actions in kindness are inconvenient. It almost always costs us something ― time, effort, comfort, pride, ego. But it is those intentional, knowing sacrifices that make it meaningful.”

 

My intention and prayer are to always be kind. I know I will need Godly wisdom, discernment, strength, and courage to accomplish it! Lord, please help me!

 

I am going to close with several quotes:

 

“A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.” – Joseph Joubert

“Because that’s what kindness is. It’s not doing something for someone else because they can’t, but because you can.” – Andrew Iskander

 

“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

“If you have kindness in your heart, you offer acts of kindness to touch the hearts of others wherever you go – whether they are random or planned. Kindness becomes a way of life.” – Roy T. Bennett

 

“When you have a choice to be right, or to be kind, choose to be kind.” – Wayne W. Dyer

 

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” – Dalai Lama

 

“When words are both true and kind, they can change the world.” – Buddha

 

“How do we change the world? One random act of kindness at a time.” – Morgan Freeman

 

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

 

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, be kind, please cherish your precious family, and stay well!

 

Kev