Quotes

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you have had an awesome week. Tough getting back into the flow of things after the Holidays, isn't it?!?!

Just wanted to share some quotes with you this week. As I have read them they have really struck me as profound, they have challenged my Spirit and they have caused me to think.

"Personal example carries more weight than preaching." - Chinese Proverb

Another quote we all really wish we could live by is, "Do what I say, not as I do." Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

"You have no idea the numbers of people that God may want to influence through you." - Andy Stanley

It would be great if we could decide where and when we are going to influence others. Again, we don't. People are always listening, always watching. We are influencing all of them...whether we intend to or not.

The other point I would like to share about this one is a simple truth: your life, your story matters. You have no idea the numbers of lives that will be touched if you will share it.

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." - Flora Whittemore

It is the choices we make, the journey, that decide the lives we will ultimately live. A series of individual choices, piled one upon another, that ultimately decide the quality of our lives and our legacies.

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." - Frederick Douglass

I once had an assistant coach say, "I struggle knowing when to love them and when to discipline them" in talking about our players. I told him he was looking at it wrong. There is not a time of love and a time of discipline - we discipline them because we love them AND, discipline should be handed down in love...you can't separate the two.

Our children do need to learn appropriate and inappropriate behavior and most importantly, that there are consequences for each. I don't like it when I have to impose discipline on my boys...often times it breaks my heart. At the same time I love them enough to do so and I am keenly aware that their future wives, their children, I could in fact argue that society, is counting on me.

"Be what you want your team to become." - John Wooden

This really goes back to the first quote - words don't mean nearly as much as actions. I also want to point out that while this does certainly apply to our jobs, my most important team is my family. If I want them to love, respect, honor & protect each other - I certainly do! - then I need to live out loving, respecting, honoring & protecting each one of them.

"We never know which lives we influence, or when or why." - Stephen King

Point has already been made. Again, you and I are influencing every single person we come into contact with every single day - the only thing left to be determined is whether that influence will be a positive one or a negative one.

"What you say today is imprinted on the hearts of your children for a lifetime." - Unknown

Our words are so powerful. We get tired, we get frustrated and in a moment say something that can crush a spirit and alter the trajectory of a life. I pray that we will choose them carefully and when we fail - unfortunately, we are all bound to at some point in time - as soon as we realize our error offer a heart-felt apology.

It is interesting to me also that the quote simply talks about "your children." I am assuming that is because for the most part, we care about our children. The reality is the words we speak to anyone are imprinted on their hearts for a lifetime. I pray that our words speak life. I know, so counter to society today and yet, so critically needed.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a truly wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Christmas Reflections & Lessons

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you having a great day and that you had a wonderful Christmas week with your family.

I want to share a few reflections and some lessons learned from this Christmas.

1. This year I went back to scheduling a special night with each of my 3 Tender Warriors. They picked the date & time - it immediately went on my calendar, they picked the place we would go for dinner and then we did whatever they wanted to do. Before we went I made it very clear to them that they did not have to buy anything...we could just walk around the mall or whatever together.

The first night was Gehrig. He is definitely my son...it was all about the dinner. We went to his favorite restaurant, ordered bacon double cheeseburgers, fries, and he got a strawberry shake. After dinner we went to walk around the mall. He was fine with not buying anyone a gift...except Mom. He knew exactly what he wanted to get her, where it would be, and he got it for her. It truly touched my heart to see my son be so thoughtful.

The second night was a swap - it was supposed to be with Payton however he talked Landry into changing dates with him. Landry chose to go to Red Lobster...yes!! We shared our clam chowder, we shared calamari and then we shared grilled shrimp. After eating we headed over to the mall and walked around. After the first store I had to remind him that the idea was not what we wanted but what we could give to others. Hey, he's 8...I am 46 and I get it! :) We went to a jewelry store and slowly started walking around the different cases. His eyes locked in on a necklace that said "Love." He asked the woman working if he could see it...he was afraid to touch it. I asked her the price and he had enough...but would have very little left. We decided to walk around and think about such a big purchase. As we made it to the far end of the mall he looked at me and said, "I am going to buy it for Mom." We hustled back to the store and my 8-year old Little Tender Warrior bought his Mom a very beautiful necklace. I was amazed by the thought he really put into...and the fact that he was willing to sacrifice nearly everything he had for his Mom.

The final night was Payton and I. We did some serious damage to some wings...and cheese sticks...and fried zucchini...and onion rings...and - well you get the point! We then headed over to the mall. He knew for a fact he wanted to get something for two people - his baby brother and his Mom. We went to Build-A-Bear and he had a bear built for Landry - it was a white bear because it would look much better with the Marine uniform he bought for it. This bear would be a special blessing a couple of days later. And he knew he wanted to buy his Mom a ring she had seen while they were together...at another mall...20 miles away! So after getting our bear - his name is PAL...for Payton And Landry - we hopped in the car and headed to the other mall. Just as with Gehrig he knew right where we were going, what he wanted and he got it. Wow, I guess it isn't true that all teenagers think about is themselves.

You know what? These three nights were the greatest gift...to me! To have time with each of my sons, to talk about life, about what is important to them, to do what they want...Friends, it was priceless. These boys are such a great gift and they bless my life so richly! We all ignored cell phones and we just enjoyed each other. We had deep conversations - hopes, dreams, fears - and we laughed. It wasn't about where we were going or what we were buying. No, it was about being together, truly enjoying one another and cherishing our time together. This is a tradition that will continue as long as the boys are willing to go with me.

2. So on Christmas Eve, around 2:00 p.m., my Littlest Tender Warrior, the one who is most excited about Christmas, gets the flu. He is sicker than anything. He would continue to get sick about every 30 minutes late into the night. He is such a trooper. He tries to get excited, participates in opening his Dad Box - special gifts I have gotten for him - and then he gets sick again. No matter where he is, what he is doing, every thirty minutes he gets sick and PAL is with him constantly. He loves on and hugs that bear all day, all night...and it still continues. The only time he moves away from PAL is when he knows he is about to be sick.

Payton tried hard to get Landry to write a note to Santa...Little Man just couldn't do it. So Payton wrote the note for him. The note touched my heart. It was a very passionate note expressing concern for his brother, asking Santa to use some magical power to make Landry feel better and asking Santa to answer all of the normal questions that Landry would ask - how is Rudolph? How is Mrs. Claus? The love and concern, the fact that he just wanted his little brother to get well truly touched my heart.

As for Landry, he woke up on Christmas morning feeling great. He was back to his normal self - running around everywhere, wonder and excitement at every turn. The thing most incredible to me - he stated that this had been a great Christmas. He didn't mention being so sick, he didn't whine or complain about anything...he simply announced that this had been a great Christmas. The circumstances didn't define the day...he did, on his terms, with his family, the way he wanted to define it. His Dad learned another great lesson by the example he set for me.

3. On Christmas night the Haslam family started what I think will be a new tradition - we watched movies on the Hallmark Channel. It started off with Landry, my Beautiful Bride and I. Somewhere around the end of the first movie and the beginning of the second Gehrig joined us. Then, towards the end of the second movie Payton came in. All told we watched 4 movies, back to back to back to back. It was awesome!

The thing I keep coming back to is how in each movie, in the end, someone gets their life back on track by being who they are, by pursuing what is important to them, by not allowing this world to define them. Sounds a lot like life, huh? It is life...for you, for me, for all of us. The key, in all of this is to pursue our own individual greatness, to become the best we are capable of becoming, to pursue our dreams. It is when we get caught up in other stuff that life gets sideways - whether it is real or a Hallmark movie. The reward for pursuing our own greatness is not necessarily wealth or fame, it is much more valuable than that! The reward is a peace, a deep abiding peace that can only be found in the complete pursuit of our own individual greatness. This is my hope, my prayer for each one of us.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great evening, a wonderful rest of the weekend, a very Happy New Year and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Hope or Fear

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and that you have all had a great week. Only 5 days until Christmas...oh my!

Hope or fear...we are all going to choose one or the other, possibly multiple times, during the day as well as throughout our lives. The choice we make in those moments will determine the quality of the lives we live, the actions we take and, as a result of the actions we do or do not take, dictate the futures we live.

Have you ever really thought about hope, about fear. We hope for things we want to happen, we fear things that we don't want to happen. It is in the uncertainty of life that the seeds of hope or fear are planted - whichever one we water is the one that grows. You want to really shake your head? Take a look at this:

Certain
Adjective
Known for sure, established beyond doubt

So what exactly can we be certain of? I started typing out a whole bunch of questions - each one had "no" for an answer - however I don't want to waste your time or belabor the point. I would argue that the only thing that is certain is this moment - who you are, where you are, your hopes & dreams, etc. - right now. The only thing you or I can do is to live fully in this moment right now. While I hope I have tomorrow with my family I don't know that I will. Therefore wisdom would tell me to live this moment to the fullest with them - to truly be fully present with them, to love them, to cherish our time together. It is true of literally every aspect of life, of every moment. The challenge then is to live fully in the moment.

Let's get back to hope and fear and their impact on the moment. I can live a life of hope - noun; a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen - or I can live a life of fear - noun; an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Both are based on the unknown - something in the future. In fact, each one of us will choose to live with one or the other - they may be in different shades of grey as a friend of mine would say, but the scale is tipped towards one or the other. And the impact on the moment? Think about the words we speak, the things we do, how we treat others when we have an expectation or a desire for something to happen. How about the words we speak, the things we do, how we treat others when we have a belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat? Our choice to walk by or hope to walk by faith has everything to do with the moment - they control it.

Friends, I pray that each one of us will choose to live a life of hope. Will we get knocked down sometimes, kicked in the gut? Yes, I am sorry we will. What do we do then? We get back up, we dust ourselves off and we again make a choice - hope or fear. Please choose hope.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your family. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, a very Merry Christmas and please cherish your precious families.

Kev