Two Questions

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day, and that you have had an awesome week - personally & professionally, as a brand new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast! :)

Wednesday was "one of those days" for me. It was tough and I was in a tough spot. I was fighting for faith & hope. Ever have one of those?

I work on an island which, for an Arizona native, is a pretty amazing thing. Every morning, as I drive across the causeway, I try to be intentional about looking around and truly appreciating the blessings...the awe & wonder. The thing is, when you work on an island there is exactly one way in and one way out...unless you take a boat however that is not an option for me! :) Well, on Wednesday there was a horrific accident at the base of the causeway, on the way out, which meant nobody was going anywhere...for a long time. So, I have had a tough day, I stayed at work until nearly 7:00 p.m. - hoping the traffic would clear up a little bit, and now I am in bumper to bumper traffic, moving maybe 50 yards (former football coach, sorry...I think in yards and not feet!) in the past 30 minutes and I am behind "that person." You know the one. They are on their cell phone so when the traffic moves forward 10 yards they don't and a car passes in front of them. Hey, even in a turtle race the turtles still wanna race! :)

One thing I have learned as I have grown older is to choose my thoughts, to fight for my faith. I knew I was not in a good place so I tried singing along to some Christian music. My thoughts kept returning to negativity. I then chose to pull up a podcast on my cell phone. The one I chose to pull up was an interview Jon Gordon had with a gentleman named John O'Leary. I was familiar with John as I had shared a very inspiring video of him a couple of weeks ago on Facebook.

When John was 9-years old he was burned over 100% of his body with 3rd degree burns over 85%. A person that severely burned is not supposed to live let alone thrive as John has. I would strongly encourage you to look John up on the internet and watch some of his videos. You can also go to his website at johnolearyinspires.com. And finally, with Fathers Day on the horizon...I hope my Beautiful Bride reads this Happy Friday, you can perhaps get his book, "On Fire: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life."

So, I am listening to the podcast and John shares two critically important questions that I want to share with you this morning.

The first question he shared is, "What more can I do?" He shared it in the context of his boyhood hero, the late, great sportscaster Jack Buck. According to John, every night Jack would ask the question, "What more can I do?" This isn't the bemoaning, whining question of a man in despair but rather the Spirit seeking question of a man determined to live a life that makes a difference in others lives. In proper context the question is seeking God's guidance and looks something like this:

• What more can I do to grow closer to God?
• What more can I do to serve my wife?
• What more can I do to serve my kids?
• What more can I do to serve my friends?
• What more can I do to serve the lost? The hurting? The broken?
• What more can I do to serve?

You get the point. It is the honest cry of a heart that seeks to continually learn, grow and develop into all the Lord created one to be.

The second question he shared is, "Why me?" Little boy, burned over 100% of his body, fingers amputated...must mean "why did this happen to me?", right?! Yeah, you already know that is wrong, don't you? No, this is the beautiful perspective shift John offered.

• Why me? Why did God think so much of me that He thought the world needed me and so He created me?
• Why me? Why am I so blessed to have the wife I have?
• Why me? Why am I so blessed to have the kids I have?
• Why me? Why am I so blessed to have the calling & purpose on my life that I have?
• Why me? Why have I been so blessed to be called to serve where I serve?

You see, it is a heart of gratitude...a perspective shift for sure! Yes, the boy who was burned over 100% of his body is the man with a beautiful family, he is a highly sought after motivational speaker...he is indeed blessed. Friends, it is all in what we choose to see, or perhaps how we choose to see it. Do you see the burned boy, left without hope or do you see the blessed man? It starts with a heart that seeks to learn, grow & develop, to ask "Why me?" in the spirit of gratitude, seeking the Spirits leading.

There are tons of great thoughts/ideas in John's book - did I mention it is titled On Fire: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life and that it would make a great Fathers Day gift? Honey, are you listening?!?! :) - and I would like to share just a couple with you:

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." - Melody Beattie

"We choose to vibrantly go about life, soak it up, embrace it, and celebrate it, or we choose not to. No one else can make this decision for us." - John O'Leary

"The number on joy indicator, the one thing that will predict whether someone feels joy in their life or not, is the practice of gratitude." - John O'Leary

"you can't always choose the path that you walk in life, but you can always choose the manner in which you walk it." - John O'Leary

"Everything we do matters. Our lives are sacred. There are no small players. There are no small tasks." - John O'Leary

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Mastery

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn on the Texas Gulf Coast!

This morning I want to share, and expand upon, a quote I came across this week. Perhaps it will challenge, inspire or possibly annoy you! :)

"You will become a master of whatever you repeatedly do or think. It's unavoidable. What are you a master of?" - Bruce Van Horn

Pretty profound, powerful. Let's unpack it a little bit...

"...whatever you repeatedly do or think" - have you really given this much, uh, thought?! :) The one thing I would do is reverse the order...think or do, not do or think. As we have discussed in previous Happy Friday's, thoughts drive action though it is true sometimes we thoughtlessly do things. Not going to chase that squirrel this morning! :)

What thoughts are you mastering? Are you becoming a master of positivity or negativity? Are you becoming a master of faith or fear/worry? Are you becoming a master of intentional behavior or are you becoming a master of chaos created by your own lack of vision?

How about our actions? What actions are we mastering? Are we mastering acts of faith & hope? Are we mastering acts of love, encouragement & selfless service? Regardless of the situation or circumstance? This reminds me of the quote, often attributed to Navy SEALS, that says, "We don't rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training." We all want to be great however are we training to be great? I want to have great faith when great faith is required however if I have not trained to have great faith, I will find the tank is empty when I need it full.

"It's unavoidable" - Here is the crux of the matter. As human beings we are looking for the rest point, the time when we no longer have to struggle, to fight, to grow. This reminds me of the quote by Bo Schembechler, the great former Head Football Coach at the University of Michigan, "Every day you either get better or you get worse. You never stay the same." This might be the annoying part! :) There is no "off day." Every single day we must weed the gardens of our minds, hearts and actions lest we allow weeds to grow. We are mastering something today! We have to choose what it will be...we will choose what it will be, even if we choose to do nothing.

So the hope, opportunity and challenge is, "What are you a master of?" There are masters of faith, hope, love & leadership just as there are masters of doubt, worry, hate & discord. These masters have gained their mastery through countless hours of thought & action that led them to the point where they can demonstrate their skills regardless of the situation or circumstance. I cannot tell you what to master...I can only try to raise your awareness and encourage you to seek the mastery of that which brings fulfillment to your life. For me I have determined to become a master of faith, of hope, of love. To become a master husband and Dad. To become a master leader. To become a master servant. To be a master friend. I fail in my day to day mastery way more often than I would like however I realize each new day is a new opportunity to grow in my mastery of all these things. 

"If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all." - Michelangelo

"Someone is going to be strengthened one day by your story - don't give up." - Ray Lewis

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.

Kev

Nobody Does It Alone

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope & trust this post finds you all having a great day on this beautiful, hot & steamy, Sunday afternoon on the Texas Gulf Coast.

I am sorry this Happy Friday is getting to you a couple of days later than normal. My middle Tender Warrior, Gehrig, graduated from high school on Thursday night and with family in town, many celebrations, etc., this has really been the first opportunity to write something. Besides, as you will see in a moment, this Happy Friday was written on my heart in the last couple of days.

At Gehrig's graduation they did one of the neatest things I have ever seen at a graduation; they had all of the principles from the elementary & junior high schools that feed into the high school that Gehrig went to up on the stage with the high school administration, district administration, etc. The pre-high school principles, representing all the teachers that serve at their schools, were recognized for all they did to contribute to this special night. It was beautiful - way before there was a 9th - 12th grade, there was a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. None more important than the other really...all steps leading to the next step which led to this special moment.

The reality of this moment really hit me. My mind raced back to all of the coaches from T-Ball through Little League to Junior High School to all the different levels of High School. And I didn't even mention club or travel ball if your child participates in those.

And then, in comments on graduation & celebration pictures my Beautiful Bride posted on Facebook, there are people who remember teaching Gehrig in Awana, former players who remember him in diapers and friends who have been a part of the journey of the first 18 years of his life. Yes, all of these people, the coaches, the former Awana teachers, the friends...they are all a part of his story.

And then there is family. Some members of the family got to be here and some did not. Some that weren't here physically were here spiritually, the only way they can be here now. Regardless of whether they could be there on the night Gehrig actually graduated, they have been a part of different seasons of life, critically important to Gehrig being the young man he has become today.

Then on either Friday or Saturday, I got to see a video of Danny Farquhar throwing out the 1st pitch at a Chicago White Sox baseball game. If you aren't really into sports you might ask, why is this a big deal? Well, Danny is a pitcher for the Chicago White Sox. During a game against the Houston Astros on April 20th, Danny "suffered a brain hemorrhage caused by a ruptured aneurysm." You can watch the inspiring video about his recovery and throwing out the first pitch at www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/23673000 If that doesn't work, simply Google "Danny Farquahar first pitch" and you will find it.

As a sports family we had followed Danny's story closely after he collapsed...and we had prayed for he & his family. As the video retold of Danny's journey you learn of the paramedics who got him to the hospital within 15 minutes of him collapsing that night, of the neurosurgeon who performed surgery, of the amazing care he received from a team of people at Rush University Medical Center, of his White Sox teammates who loved on & encouraged him and of course, there is is his wife Lexie and his children, Madison, Landon & Liam. The picture of Danny throwing out the 1st pitch, the first pitch he had thrown since the 6th inning on April 20th, with 50, maybe 60 or more, people behind, each one who had played a critical role in getting him this moment is almost indescribable. Every one of them mattered in his journey. So powerful!

So, of course, as I thought about all this I thought of the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." In doing a little research I found that I actually had that wrong. The actual saying, an African proverb, is, "It takes a whole village to raise a child." One, critically important, word..."whole."

I want to share an excerpt of the explanation of this saying from Afriprov.org. It says,

This Igbo and Yoruba (Nigeria) proverb exists in different forms in many African languages. The basic meaning is that child upbringing is a communal effort. The responsibility for raising a child is shared with the larger family (sometimes called the extended family). Everyone in the family participates especially the older children, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and even cousins. It is not unusual for African children to stay for long periods with their grandparents or aunts or uncles. Even the wider community gets involved such as neighbors and friends. Children are considered a blessing from God for the whole community. This communal responsibility in raising children is also seen in the Sukuma (Tanzania) proverb "One knee does not bring up a child" and in the Swahili (East and Central Africa) proverb "One hand does not nurse a child."

In general this Nigerian proverb conveys the African worldview that emphasizes the values of family relationships, parental care, self-sacrificing concern for others, sharing, and even hospitality. This is very close to the Biblical worldview as seen in scripture texts related to unity and cooperation (Ecclesiastes 4:9,12) and a mother's self-sacrificing love (Isaiah 49:15-16). 

A few thoughts to wrap up this Happy Friday:
1. While the saying pertains specifically to a child I believe we all need others, regardless of our age or season in life. You & I don't have to, and in fact can't, do this life alone. At some point, at some time, we are going to have to raise our hand - literally or figuratively - and ask others for help. It will take a humble spirit or a humbling moment but either way, we are all going to need others if we are going to survive & thrive.

2. Let's remember and thank those who have helped us along our life journey's. Maybe it was a parent, sibling, teacher, coach, friend, mentor or maybe even a physician who performed a life-saving procedure. Whatever the case I pray that we will not forgot the people who have helped mold & shape us into the people we are today and that we will thank them.

3. You matter in the story of other people's lives. Your role may be large or it may be small. Regardless, please know that the things you say & do matter in the lives of those you touch. While you might not physically be at the graduation, your fingerprints are all over the person that is graduating and know this, they could not have done it without you.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, enjoy the rest of your weekend, have an awesome week and please cherish your precious families.

Kev