Gentleness

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! What an opportunity!!! Today is a blank canvas and each one of us gets to decide what we are going to do with it. I am running into it with hopeful expectations, determined to live it fully, to empty it of its potential…I sincerely hope the same for you! 😊

I am reading a great book, The Glorious Pursuit: Becoming Who God Created Us to Be by Gary Thomas. The other night I was reading a chapter that was so good! How good? Well, I had my Beautiful Bride sit with me as I read to her. When she finally escaped - 😊- I Face Timed my oldest Tender Warrior and read to him! Oh yeah, you know where I am going…I am going to share several excerpts with you all this morning.

The excerpts I am sharing come from Chapter 15 which is titled, Caressing Life: Gentleness.

“Since God is the source of all virtue, we can’t experience one of His qualities while denying that He personifies that virtue. To get on the path of gentleness, then, we need to understand the depths of our Lord’s gentleness.

Though Jesus gave himself a number of figurative titles (such as the Good Shepherd), when it came to actually describing His character with specific virtues, there are only two. This gives any one description particular importance. When Jesus describes Himself in Matthew 11:28-30, gentleness tops the list: “I am gentle and humble in heart.”

Before Jesus came, the prophets predicted that the Messiah would be known for His gentleness: “Behold your King is coming to you, gentle and mounted on a donkey.” When the apostles looked back in memory of our Lord, they thought of this virtue: “by the humility and gentles of Christ, I appeal to you.”

So the Bible predicted that Jesus would be gentle; Jesus affirmed that He was gentle; and the early church – the ones who saw Him fact-to-face and watched Him interact with others in public – remembered Him as gentle.

However we may feel about God, He reveals Himself to be gentle.”

*What a testimony…I wonder how people will remember you and me.

“To truly convey who Jesus is, it’s not enough to just repeat His words; it’s how we speak those words that most accurately convey His Spirit.”

“The Bible is clear that those who call Christ their master will display the virtue of gentleness. Philippians 4:5 tells us, “Let your gentleness be evident to all.” Not to the deserving. Not to those we “like.” We’re to be gentle towards “all.””

“…gentleness is not a bonus we give to the deserving; it is a debt we owe to all.”

“Gentleness is birthed in the recognition that Christian ministry isn’t about winning arguments; it’s about reconciling people to God and representing Christ to the world. Brutish force doesn’t reconcile, it divides; legalistic demands don’t invite, they alienate. Grace and gentleness build bridges.”

“Too often we equate “gentleness” with “weakness” when in fact, the reverse is true. Letting loose with a tirade of anger is an act of weakness, not strength.”

“The “spiritually strong” are the ones who need to exhibit gentleness and de-escalate situations that spiritually week people can’t handle.

Gentleness is much more powerful than the human failings of temper, anger, and hatred. Anger has a place in the Christian life, as does confrontation. But gentleness has a far bigger role to play than anger, for gentleness means understanding human frailty. It’s a willingness to support, help, teach, and counsel with patience, until the other person becomes strong and mature. Gentleness also means the application of grace, and since grace is “unmerited favor,” the true definition of gentleness is the application of unmerited favor.”

“The first step in becoming gentle is being overwhelmed by the gentleness with which God has treated us. I try to remind myself that I need to treat others like God has treated me. Gentleness doesn’t call us to ignore people’s failings – God doesn’t ignore ours – but it does call us to respond in a particular way. The difference is really in methodology – how sin and weakness is confronted and handled, not whether it will be handled.”

Powerful stuff, Friends! I hope it speaks to our Spirits and moves us to be the gentle people we are called to be! 

I would be remiss if I didn’t offer my highest recommendation for The Glorious Pursuit. It is a great book and I find it challenging me every day – to learn, grow, and become the man, husband, father, leader, and friend that God has created and called me to become!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev

It Just Takes One

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day is beginning to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! College football is back!!! Absolutely love this time of year! 😊 

Last Friday night my family and I went to a high school football game. I didn’t know anyone in the game, so it was fun to just go watch football and not really care who won. 

There was an elderly gentleman sitting in front of us. We did not talk through most of the 1^st quarter. I can’t remember exactly how the conversation started however he soon told me that his Grandson was #17. All the sudden I cared. I watched #17 everywhere he went, every play, and I genuinely wanted him to play well. And as we watched I learned that the elderly gentleman is retired from GM, that he had played professional football, and I learned about some of his challenges.

It is amazing to me how much we are all alike. We all have hopes, goals, and dreams. We have families we love, challenges we face, and issues we have overcome. All we have to do is care enough to talk to another human being and soon enough a high school football game that meant nothing, suddenly means a lot.

As I have thought about all this during the week, I am reminded of a situation several years ago while I was still coaching. Several members of the coaching staff and I were at an event at an elementary school. There was a woman there who was strung out on drugs. I remember looking at her and being so judgmental. Then one of the coaches recognized her. He had known her several years earlier…I believe his brother had dated her. It was clear that the coach genuinely cared about her and, in seeing his compassion, empathy, and care, everything changed for me. Suddenly I wasn’t not judging her but rather I felt great compassion for her. I cared about her because my friend did.

Putting these two things together, I want to offer two challenges for all of us this week:

1.      Talk to someone new. Just strike up a conversation and get to know someone you don’t know. Find out who they are, where they are from, what they do vocationally, learn about their families, etc. Maybe you will have the opportunity to encourage someone, or perhaps you will find yourself inspired. Either way, you will both win.

2.     I am pretty sure nobody set out to be a drug addict, homeless, or to have whatever challenge they are facing. I learned a lot that day many years ago…we all have a story, they all matter, and most of us have someone that cares about us. Let’s look at those who are facing challenges with great compassion. As my mom used to often say, “But for the grace of God, there go I.”

The thought that keeps coming to my mind is “it just takes one.” It just takes one friendly word, one word of encouragement, one person to care…it just takes one. You and I can be the one. We can treat people differently and we can choose to look at people differently. Let’s really strive – intentionally!!! – to see and believe the best in people and do everything we can to let them know they matter and that they have value. One by one, we can change the world!

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev

You Will Prevail

 Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day is preparing to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This is going to be a great one! 😊

This morning I simply want to share with you something I have studied and learned over the past couple of weeks…

In the book, Good to Great, Jim Collins introduced the concept he termed “The Stockdale Paradox.” He named the paradox after Admiral Jim Stockdale. Admiral Stockdale was the highest-ranking U.S. military officer in the “Hanoi Hotel” prisoner of war camp during the Vietnam War. During his more than 8 years of imprisonment, Admiral Stockdale was tortured more than 20 times. As is noted on the Wikipedia page about him, “Stockdale lived out the war without any prisoner’s rights, no set release date, and no certainty as to whether he would even survive to see his family again.” Please, just for a moment, let the weight of what Admiral Stockdale experienced sink in…

Spoiler Alert: Admiral Stockdale made it out of the prisoner of war camp. How? How does a person endure what he endured and not only survive but thrive?!?! Here is an excerpt from Good to Great which answers that question:

“I never lost faith in the end of the story,” he said, when I asked him. “I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

So powerful!!! Never lost faith in the end of the story… Never doubted…Prevail in the end…Defining event…Would not trade!!!!!

In another excerpt, Admiral Stockdale offers great wisdom for all of us:

“You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end - which you can never afford to lose - with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

*The emphasis is mine.

This isn’t some Pollyanna, rose-colored glasses stuff here! Admiral Stockdale was in a situation that no human being would want to be in, and he knew it. At the same time, he never lost faith that he would prevail in the end…the paradox!

As a side note, when Mr. Collins asked Admiral Stockdale who did not make it out, he noted it was the optimists…the ones who said that by this date or that they would get out. The day would come and go, and they were still there. Over time, according to Admiral Stockdale, they died of a broken heart. It is not about optimism, it is about faith that, no matter the situation or circumstance, you will prevail in the end!

Friends, I have no idea who you are, where you are, what you are experiencing, or what challenges you may be facing. I simply want to challenge all of us with The Stockdale Paradox. We would be wise to face the brutal facts – let’s not stick our heads in the sand and pretend our reality is not our reality…how can we ever solve a problem, challenge, or issue that we are not willing to face and admit exists? At the same time, please never lose faith that you will prevail in the end. We are made stronger by the problems, challenges, and struggles that we face and overcome…this is what Admiral Stockdale meant by “the defining moment of my life.”

I want to share a couple of other quotes I came across as I studied The Stockdale Paradox.

Admiral Bill McCraven said this about becoming a Navy SEAL:

"So, while it is important to be physically fit when you go through training, you find out very quickly that your background, your social status, your color, your orientation, none of that matters," according to McRaven.

"The only thing that matters is that you go in with this purpose in mind and this — the thought that you are just not going to quit, no matter what happens. “

Two key points:

·       Purpose – I am reminded of the quote, “If you know your why, you can survive almost any how.”

·       Not going to quit – The unwavering faith that you will prevail in the end.

And then I was reading an article in the paper earlier this week about Philadelphia Eagles quarterback, Gardner Minshew. Great wisdom here from Gardner…

“If you have a dream to chase, things to learn, and people to love, then you don’t need much else. It’s not as important to know what’s around the bend, as it is to trust that you’ll be able to handle whatever it is.”

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev