Choices & Consequences

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day! It is a very special day...baseball starts today! I love going to the ballpark and I can still recall going to games with my Grand Pa, sitting in the bleachers along the 3rd base line and listening to his stories for hours like it was yesterday.

On this beautiful morning - filled with hope, promise and fond memories - I wanted to share a some thoughts about a couple of things I have been thinking about and on for the last few weeks...choices & consequences. We all make them - sometimes thoughtlessly and sometimes with painful thought and consideration - and they in turn make us. My hope is not to tell you what you should choose this morning, this each and every one of us must do for ourselves. My sole hope is to raise our (including me!) awareness about the power, the freedom we have to make choices and how we own - whether we want to or not - the consequences of those choices.

When we are very young the thoughts, views, beliefs, values, etc. of those to whose care we are entrusted are imparted on us and they are the initial boundaries we use to determine the choices we make. Sometimes the choices we make are validated and supported by those who we value and cherish and sometimes they are not...this is one of the first glimpses of consequences that we get. Affirmation tended to assure that the choice, or the type of choice, was repeated while rejection or punishment tended to assure that the choice would not be repeated. Now, I could take a serious right turn here and talk about the awesome honor, privilege and responsibility you and I have if a precious little soul is entrusted to our care - o.k., that was my one jab! - however I want to stay on task with the bigger picture of choices & consequences.

It has struck me as I was typing this first part - told you we are all learning! - is how the first consequence(s) we learn or become concerned with is the love and affirmation of someone. Earlier I was going to give the example of a child not doing their homework. You will hear a lot of kids say, "I have to do my homework so I don't get in trouble." They are concerned that if they choose not to do their homework they will get in trouble...they are seeking love and affirmation. How often do you hear a kid say, "I have to do my homework so I can learn all I can" or "I have to do my homework so I can become the best I can become"? It's interesting - and I don't have the answers! - that there are the consequence(s) of how others will respond to the choice(s) we make and then there is the tangible consequence(s) of our choices as well. Some spend their entire lives seeking only the positive love and affirmation of others regardless of the tangible consequence(s) of their choices. Do you think your views, values and beliefs - the things that you are imparting on the precious souls, young and old, in your life - matter now? Hmmm...(Dang it! Off task again!)

The thing I am desperately trying to get to here Friends is that you and I have choices. Yes, the boundaries of those choices were initially established by those who were charged with caring for us however as we grow older, learn and establish our own views, values and beliefs, we lose that crutch (yes, I said crutch!). At some point - not exactly sure of the age or level of maturity - we can no longer blame the choices we make on someone or something else. The choices you and I make are our choices and we own the resulting consequences of whatever choices we make. I think it just hit me - I would propose that the age or the level of maturity that  the crutch is gone is the moment you and I are held accountable, we have to live with (whether we want to or not), the consequences of our choice(s).

Think about all of the choices you have made and that you have to make Friend. If you went to college, you chose what you would study? If you are married, you chose who you would marry? If you have friends, you chose who your friends would be? Each day you will choose your attitude, what type of effort you will put forth in all aspects of your life, how you will respond to each and every situation, etc. Heck, you chose whether or not to read this "Happy Friday" today! And - please get this part...it is critically important - each one of those choices has a consequence attached to it. Each one. It is utterly impossible to make a choice and not have a consequence. That doesn't mean that all of the consequences are bad or that there is some big, huge consequence associated with every choice. Good choices - by the way, the terms "good" and "bad" are subjective and therefore you will have to choose how determine them :) - lead to good consequences and bad choices lead to bad consequences. It really is that simple. The struggle for most of us comes in making bad choices and wanting good consequences. It just doesn't work that way.

So at the end of the day here are my two thoughts for you:
1. You make choices, the choices you make (or don't make which is also a choice) have consequences and it is the sum of these choices and consequences that make you. They determine who you are, where you are, what you do, who you do it with, etc. You make your choices and your choices make you.

2. If you don't like where you are with some part of your life, you don't like what the consequences have brought you, you can choose to change the course of your life - or some part of it. Your life is not over, it cannot be deemed a success or failure, until you have breathed your final breath Friend. The answer lies in what choice(s) you will make next. I am not saying it will be easy...I am saying that it is your choice. It is your life Friend, please choose wisely.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do for any of you or your precious families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish those precious families.

Kev