I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great Friday morning and that you have had an awesome week!
My heart is full this morning. I have a lot to share, the points I am to share are very clear to me though I don't have them all lined out perfectly in mind. I am just going to share and trust, allow God to take care of the rest.
I had an "ah ha" moment this week. I don't have a specific story about a moment of clarity or some defining moment...it just appeared. In reality it has been years of ceaseless preaching by the lives my 3 boys live every day, by the softening of my heart and the quite, the stillness that allows the Holy Spirits voice to be heard. What is this great moment of clarity? My boys don't care what I do for a job, they just want me, they love me unconditionally and more than anything they want time together with me. Maybe not profound to you but for me it touched me to the depths of my soul. What am I chasing after? What am I trying to prove? These precious souls who I have been given the honor & privilege of loving, guiding, protecting could care less what I do. I am there Dad, they love me unconditionally, they believe in me completely and they just want me. They don't want a different me, they don't want me if/when I change something, they want me.
As I have thought about this point this week, reflected on the countless "sermons" my boys have preached to me there are a couple of quick "sermons" I want to share with you to illustrate the point.
- I was a Head Football Coach. We had lost a game, I had gone up to the press box to do a radio interview after the game and I had just gotten back down to the field and began walking across it. All of the sudden I hear, "Daddy!" My now 13-year old, who was 3 or 4-years old at the time, had spotted me from the other side of the field. He started running toward me as fast as his little toddler legs would carry him. I began to jog towards him. When we were about 10 yards apart I dropped to me knees and caught him in my arms as he continued to run at me full speed. For the next few minutes he filled my heart with love as he told me over and over again how much he loved me and missed me. Then of course we wrestled around for a few minutes...if you have or have ever been around a 3-year old you get it. Then, after expressing his love and affection, after wrestling and having a little fun together, he stood up, looked me in the eye and said, "hey, did we win the game?" It was a complete after-thought to him. It really didn't matter to him. What did matter was that he was finally with his Dad and he wanted to love him, unconditionally, to spend some time with him.
- My job changed in July of this year. My job now requires me to be out of town for about two weeks each month. One Saturday morning about a month ago, after morning snuggles - the first thing my 7-year old does every morning is to find me in the house and snuggle me - this little dude comes up to me, looks me straight in the eye and says, "You know I hate your job, right?" I said, "Yes Buddy, I know." He says, "O.K." and bounds away. Just want to make sure we are on the same page Dad, wanna make sure you know how I feel about this. Now, in reality he knows absolutely nothing about my job. He has come to my office and he genuinely liked all the people he met - heck, he genuinely likes everyone. No, what he was really saying is I don't want you to be gone, I miss you, I want you. He doesn't really care about my job however he hates anything that takes me away from him. That is his point.
I have to share this. Every morning when I have my quite time, my prayer time, I have a bunch of men I have been blessed that God has placed in my life that I pray for. Sometimes the prayers are more general and sometimes the prayers are very specific depending on what these Brothers tell me is going on in their lives. So I am thinking about my "ah ha" moment and I am praying for these men and something really hit me. Isn't it interesting how men seem to so often be attacked in the areas of their jobs, their careers and in the area of fear. Please think about it. We have tons of husbands and fathers chasing after something that will have absolutely no impact on eternity while wives, girlfriends, sons and daughters are dying a slow death because the person they want, they need is chasing after some title, some position. I don't know the exact figure and this isn't scientific however I guarantee you over 50% of the men who I interact talk about concerns in their careers, are they going where they want to go, are they becoming what they want to become and they are working countless hours to pursue...something. What is the cost? What if we simply worked at whatever it is we are doing with all of our hearts as though working for the Lord and not for man as the Bible instructs us to do and trusted that God would lead us where we are supposed to go in our lives? What if we stopped worrying, fighting and struggling for our careers and put that same effort into loving our wives, loving our children? What would this world look like then? Please remember, truthfully, at the end of the day our wives, girlfriends, sons and daughters don't really care what we do...they just want us. Please husbands, boyfriends, Dads...let the truth of these words speak to your heart.
Fear...it is not accidental that two issues for men are their careers and fear. You can call me crazy, you won't be the first and you will absolutely not be the last, however I do believe their is a real enemy. I do believe that Satan is alive and does attack. The Bible says that God placed the husband, the Dad as the head of the household. This is not demeaning at all to wives, to women...it is actually a great call to service for the husband, the Dad - another Happy Friday, another day. If Satan can kill the head, what happens to the body? It dies. What is happening to families because of the absent husband, the absent Dad? They are dying. The Bible is very clear that God did not give us a spirit of fear...so where does it come from? Satan. How many husbands/Dads are afraid to work less hours? How many husbands/Dads are afraid to change jobs that are unhealthy for their families because they are afraid they won't find another job, it won't work out, etc.? How many husbands/Dads just keep doing the same thing because they are afraid to change (saw/see this all the time in coaching!)? How many husbands/Dads don't pursue their dreams because they are afraid...(you can fill in the blank because there are countless excuses, justifications)?
Yes, I am pretty convinced that for husbands and Dad's careers and fear are two weapons that Satan wants to use in our lives to create havoc and destroy lives. On this beautiful Friday morning I want to encourage all of us husbands, boyfriends and Dad's to really assess our priorities. What really matters? What are our legacies going to be? Be sure, we are leaving a legacy. The only thing to determine is what that legacy will be...and this is a decision that we will make anew as each beautiful new day dawns.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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