Lessons Learned

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having had a great day on this beautiful Friday evening in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

This past week, past 8 weeks, have been really big for me. I am going to pour out my heart, be transparent, and share with you the many lessons I have learned.

On Saturday, October 3, 2020, my family and I attended the University of Tennessee vs Missouri football game at Neyland Stadium. During the tailgate prior to the game, a friend I have known for 12 or so years, walked up to me and said, "Kev, I wish you would get those knees fixed. It kills me to watch you walk." And then he walked away. You see, I have known for nearly 30 years that at some point I would have to have my knees replaced. Each of the orthopedic surgeons I have gone to over the years stated something like, "It is obvious you need new knees...we just want to wait until you get older." So, I have been hobbling along - literally! :) - doing the best I can to get from here to there. Over the last few years I knew the problem had gotten worse, even though I didn't feel like I was walking with a limp, as complete strangers would walk up to me and say, "Knee?" or "I had my knees replaced."

When my friend said something, this time it stuck. As my family and I drove home on Sunday my Beautiful Bride talked about it. If there is ever going to be a good time in my line of work to do this type of thing, this is it due to the pandemic. Also, at the institution I serve, we are given two weeks off for the Christmas break. We decided this could, in fact, be the time. We decided I would 1) talk to my colleague at work who would have to pick up my slack for a couple of weeks and, pending her approval, 2) I would speak with my boss. By Tuesday of that week I had the blessing of both and scheduled an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. I was in the surgeon's office the next week, my surgery was scheduled for Monday, December 7th and we were off and running.

What I have been mindful of this whole time as I have gone through this was my friends one little comment; "Kev, I wish you would get those knees fixed. It kills me to watch you walk." He was not pushy, condescending, a know it all, or any of the other things people tend to do in those types of situations. He expressed concern, empathy, he showed me a path to a different way, and then he left it up to me to decide what to do with that information.

Lesson Learned: I learned what a real friend looks like, how they communicate. He didn't deny or ignore the problem, nor did he tell me I had to do what he thought I should to do. He loved me enough to speak truth, expressed concern, and then left it there. I have given this man credit every time I have told the story of how this all came to be however I did not call him until the night before the surgery because, being in a pandemic, we weren't certain it was actually going to occur until then. I thanked him and I made sure he knew how much I appreciated him and his friendship.

There were a lot of mental monsters to fight in the walk up - I crack myself up! :) - to the surgery. Would I, a family member, or a member of the surgical team get COVID and it would be off? What if I got an infection? What if I got a blood clot? And is it really wise to have both knees done at the same time...so many people told me it was not? What if I did not survive? Might sound like a crazy thought however it gets real when, during pre-op, the nurse asks if my wife has power of attorney and if I have a living will.

Once the surgery was set I had something I was working towards. I have pretty much always worked out but now I was working for a purpose, I had a game day coming up! Yes, the physical is important and I was keenly aware that the harder I could work, the better the shape I could get this body into, the better my surgery and my recovery would be. However the most important part of that workout time is that is my prayer time...and I can assure you, I prayed many fervent prayers! Every day, over and over, I cast each of the cares I listed above on the Lord and I left them there. And every single day the Lord gave me a deep, abiding peace.

Lesson Learned: These are really reaffirmations of things I have found in my life, however I am here to testify that I have found the following to be true:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4: 6 - 7

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5: 7

And something else my Spirit is pushing me to share with you; this very topic - worries, cares, concerns - gave my 15-year old Tender Warrior and I the opportunity for wonderful conversation. He asked at one point, very early on, how I so bravely deal with these things. And I poured my heart out to my boy. I told him, I am scared, really scared. And I told him how every day when I climb onto that exercise bike I picture a big 'ol lake over there and one by one, every single morning, I take every care and concern and cast them into that lake. I am grateful I had the opportunity to keep it real with my son - I am scared...I don't want to create some false sense of who I am or what he thinks he needs to be - but most importantly, I had the opportunity to teach him how to deal with it. Thank you, Jesus! :)

As you can imagine, trying to have major surgery during a pandemic can be a little tricky. As noted above, my surgery was scheduled for Monday, December 7th. I had told my leadership team at work however I had not yet told the entire team. On Monday, November 30th I did all my pre-op stuff so on Tuesday, December 1st, I decided to tell the entire team. I kid you not, at 3:30 p.m. that day I got a call from the doctors office letting me know that my surgery was being moved to Friday, December 11th. Felt like a punch in the gut...was getting pretty cranked up at this point for everything. Had worked my tail off to get all of my Christmas stuff done - lights up, presents bought, gifts carved, etc. Just more stuff to cast on the Lord! :)

I was surprised that they did not mention anything about getting a new COVID test or any other pre-op stuff. Then, on Wednesday, December 9th, I got a call from the doctors office. I need to go in either that day or the next to have all my blood work done again as too much time had passed since my last blood work. I went and got everything done and yes, they did another COVID test. Then here is the double kicker: 1) They will only call you if your COVID test is positive, and 2) They will call you after Noon on Thursday, December 10th with your surgery time. That night my mind was racing. Is it going to happen or not? Do I have COVID? All over the place. And then my Bride's cell phone buzzed. It was a message for me from a friend. I am not particularly close to those beautiful, Godly women, though I am close to her daughter and son-in-law. Her message was a beautiful God-inspired message and in that specific moment I knew this surgery was going to happen!

Lesson Learned: God will use us in people's lives if we let Him. This precious woman had no idea the struggle I was going through. She simply knew that God placed a message on her heart so she sent it. To me, it meant everything. He used her to speak to me however He never could have done that if she were not a willing servant.

So it is now Thursday night, December 10th, less that 12 hours from game day! The mental struggle is real...all the thoughts are racing through my mind. And so I did what I have been blessed to be able to do for nearly 20 years now; I sent a text message to 8 Godly men who are my Prayer Warriors. As my family and I have faced storms of life and of nature, I have reached out to them for prayer. And every single time these Godly men have shown up and prayed for my family and I. How blessed am I?

I sent that text and my phone began to buzz and in that moment, the deepest peace I have ever felt enveloped me. I knew it was going to all be good and in that moment, the Holy Spirit convicted me to change my prayers. I was no longer praying that I would survive surgery, that everything would be o.k. No, my prayer was now that I would thrive through surgery and specifically that God would bring me the physicians, nurses, technicians and cleaning staff who need to see a light, who needed encouragement poured into them. And man did He deliver! I was so blessed to love on and encourage so many wonderful physicians, nurses, techs and staff.

Lesson Learned: I pray every person who reads this will have a group of people you can just be real with and ask them to pray for you. I hope everyone gets to feel what I felt last Friday morning walking into that hospital; the perfectly clear picture I see in my mind is me walking in a circle of 8 Godly men, each wearing the full Armor of God. There was no fear! There was no doubt! There was no worry! Any attack would have to come through these great Godly men who were storming the gates of Heaven on my behalf. I had God, these men had me...all attacks would fail!

Something else happened somewhere along this journey. A couple of weeks out from the surgery I asked my Beautiful Bride if I was crazy for doing this. I floated out the idea that perhaps I really didn't have to do this. While I might walk with a limp, at least I could walk. She gently, sweetly touched my hand and told me everything was going to be o.k. That, yes, the short-term is going to be a struggle but there are better days coming.

Lesson Learned: I was utterly amazed at how ready I was to stay stuck in something less than ideal because of the worries, cares, concerns, etc. If we are real, don't we all do this? As I stated, I didn't even realize I limp. Pain had become such a constant part of my life that it had become my "normal." Why do we do this? Why do we choose to stay in pain instead of doing the hard work of fixing the problem? Currently walking this path, I want to encourage you to endure the pain. I promise you it is so worth it! I want to share two quick stories to illustrate the point:

1. On Saturday the Physical Therapists came to take me for a walk...yes, going for a walk 1 day after double knee replacement - medicine is amazing and our health care providers are phenomenal! Anyways, I take a few steps and I stop. My eyes are a little moist and I exclaim, "Oh! My! Gosh!" Scared the heck out of the pour Therapist! She asks me what is wrong and I explain to her that absolutely nothing is wrong but I am feeling overwhelmed by all that is right. You see, I was walking on and feeling my whole foot. Friends, I have never felt that in my entire life! I was so bow-legged that I walked primarily on the outside of my feet. With my knees fixed, I, for the first time in 53 years of life was feeling what it was like to walk "normally."

2. One night earlier this week, I think it was Monday though I am not completely sure, my Bride and I were in bed. And as I laid there I realized I felt absolutely zero pain in my legs...0!!! Again, I can't recall a time in my life I had ever felt zero pain in my legs. And now? This is my new normal! :)

Finally, I have to tell you about the countless people who have blessed the heck out of my family and I over this past week. They have prayed for us, texted and called us, provided meals for us...I am overwhelmed typing it! I can't tell you how much every prayer, every word of encouragement, every phone call, every meal has meant to us. Thank you Lord for blessing this man and his family so much! :) We are so very grateful for each and every one of them.

Lesson Learned: Please don't ever kid yourself; your words and actions matter! YOU have the power to positively influence the lives of others. YOU don't have to perform some grand gesture, you simply have to perform with your HEART. Please don't ever question or doubt the impact you will have in the lives of others...I know a man and his family whose lives were profoundly impacted! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great night, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev

Don't Be Perfect, Just Dream

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious Thursday evening in my Sweet Home Alabama! I am writing this Happy Friday on Thursday evening as I have a big day tomorrow that is going to start very early...even for me! :)

My heart with this weeks Happy Friday is to encourage us all. I want to start off by sharing another excerpt from Lolly Daskal's book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You And Your Greatness. The excerpt I am sharing comes from Chapter One which she titled, The Surprising Gap In Our Leadership: Greatness lies in the gaps between where you are and where you want to be.

"We are all capable of standing in our greatness. Every human being is born with a healthy emotional system. We come into this world without fear, without shame. We don't make judgments about which parts of ourselves are good and which parts are bad. Rather, we dream about doing something bigger than ourselves - we have ideas, thoughts, visions, hopes. Some of us have ideals that are bigger than others', but we all have great visions for ourselves. Until, somewhere along the way, those visions get diluted. Maybe it was the teacher who called you stupid; the parent who said you could do better; the bully who taunted you; the sports coach who called you inadequate. Whatever that message was, you heard it and internalized it. You made the message stick, and because you did, you didn't think you could stand in your greatness."

Man, this resonates with me! It hit me as profound when I first read it, again when I re-read it preparing for this Happy Friday, and typing it is stirring up all kinds of emotions. It's true...sadly, so very true. I see myself in those words...do you?

I have two encouragements with this excerpt:

1. Please stand in your greatness, Friend! It is there, within you. 

Yes, I know the pain - quite well - of being told I am dumb, inadequate, that I will never amount to anything, I am a failure, etc. And yes, I realize that the closer the person is to you and the more important they are to you, the deeper the cut. I have been cut extremely deep. I don't tell you this to brag or to put on some tough guy act. No, I tell you because I want you to know that I do have some level of understanding. This isn't some Pollyanna, rose colored glasses, you have always had it easy type of pep talk. This is one human being, having been kicked square in the gut, looking at another saying, "You got this!"

Please Friends, if you are not currently standing in your greatness, rise up! Please don't let the hurtful words or actions of another flawed, broken human being define you. You were created on purpose for a purpose. You have great talents, gifts, and abilities. And, while they may be buried deep within your heart, you have great ideas, thoughts, visions, and hopes. Please uncover them! Yes, it is going to take a tremendous amount of strength and courage - I can testify that God will help you! You can do this however you have to CHOOSE to do so! Decide that this day is going to be a different day! You are no longer going to walk in fear or shame! You are no longer going to pick yourself apart - YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made! Please, give yourself this beautiful gift - the you that you were created to be! 

2. Our words and actions matter...simple as that! Please don't be the teacher, parent, bully or coach described in the excerpt. If you have the honor and privilege of having a precious soul call you Mom or Dad, you have a critically important responsibility and please be sure of this, one day you will be held accountable for how you fulfilled it. If you are doing the wrong things, this perhaps upsets or offends you. That is not my intent and please remember, it is the Spirit that convicts. If you are doing the right things, you probably find it inspiring...calling to the greatness that is within you.

Every person, every life, has value, meaning, and purpose. Let's be builders and encouragers, not destroyers and discourages. Let's be intentional in our words and actions. Let me wrap it up this way; what if you and I were what we wish others would be for us?

My second encourager is about perfection; please, let's stop trying to be perfect, pretending we are, and/or holding ourselves and others accountable to perfection. It is not attainable and the pursuit of it births all kinds of things in our lives that negatively impact our character, our relationships, and ultimately, the quality of the lives we live. Do we want to pursue all that we are created to become? Absolutely! Do we want to do everything to the very best of our ability? Absolutely! So please, don't twist what I am saying.

The first step in becoming all that we are created of becoming and doing everything to the very best of our ability is to be the pure, authentic people we were created to be. Let's find that person. Ties right back to the excerpt above. Please let these words wash over you again..."Every human being is born with a healthy emotional system. We come into this world without fear, without shame. We don't make judgments about which parts of ourselves are good and which parts are bad. Rather, we dream about doing something bigger than ourselves - we have ideas, thoughts, visions, hopes." Lolly is talking about you, and me. What if, instead of chasing the fallacy of perfection, we simply pursued our own ideas, thoughts, visions, and hopes to the very best of our ability?

Let's no longer be people that hold ourselves and others accountable to a standard that is not attainable. Let's no longer be the people who put a mask on everything, trying to make our lives look perfect. Let's no longer be the people who will sacrifice our character, integrity and relationships to give others the idea of our perfection. Let's be different. Let's simply be the best version of who we were created to be and encourage, empower, and equip others to do the same. THAT would be perfect! :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great evening, a wonderful Friday and weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well.

Kev 

We Must CHOOSE To Grow

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

This weeks Happy Friday is going to be equal parts inviting y'all to join me on a journey and encouragement. I started reading a new book - The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You And Your Greatness by Lolly Daskal. Here are a couple of excerpts from the introduction:

"This is the mistake that highly driven, overachieving leaders make every day. They have soared to the greatest heights on the basis of what they know. But there comes a time when they must rethink everything and ask themselves: What is the gap between who I am and who I want to be, and do I know what it is I still need to learn?"

"Learning to recognize your leadership gap is the factor that determines your greatness as a leader. Not recognizing it is your downfall."

Growth, or the lack thereof, is a choice. Yes, this is a leadership book and it is about choosing to grow as a leader however I believe the same applies to us as men and women, husbands and wives, Dads and Moms, as friends. We all have gaps - the space between who we are and who we want to be...perhaps I should say who we were created to be. But what of it? Are you and I willing to explore where these gaps are and, perhaps most importantly, do the things we need to do to fill those gaps.

As I was preparing to write this Happy Friday this morning I caught this visual of a small child. We are all well aware of the gaps between who they are and who they were created to be. We are confident in their ability to close those gaps, to learn and grow. We learn to hold ourselves up, sit up, crawl, walk, etc. We start off unable to speak. Then we start jabbering. This progresses to words, generally inaudible to anyone other than Mom and Dad however before long we start form short sentences. You get the point. Here is the question; how many people do you know who are exactly the same as they were a year ago? Two years ago? Five years ago? How about you and I? Now, the reality is we are changing however the real issue is we fight so hard against the changes. We say things like, "I am who I am" or "I am too old to change now." Can you imagine a little child saying the same? Of course not! It is silly to propose and it would be very sad as they would fail to grow into who they were created to become. Sadly, we have a whole lot of little kids walking around in adult bodies, stuck in their growth and development. I want to encourage us to choose different: to commit to learn and grow each and every day of our lives.

I think there are a couple of things that really get in our way:

1. We are afraid to admit our gaps because this means we are failures, worthless or any number of other self-defeating words we will speak over ourselves. According to my Bible, you and I are fearfully and wonderfully made, created on purpose for a great purpose for which we are perfectly equipped, lacking nothing. So what gives? Gaps, in any of the roles we fill, do not make us failures or worthless, they simply prove we are human. If however we are so busy denying our gaps, we give ourselves no opportunity to fill them. Having gaps does not make us inferior however failing or being unwilling to see and correct them will prevent us from becoming all that we were created to become. Please Friends, let's not be afraid of who we are but rather let's embrace who we are and then strive every day to become the best version of who we were created to become. 

2. We get stuck in our ways. There is a saying: "We are either getting better or worse every day. We never stay the same." Are we being intentional in our growth? Are we choosing every day to challenge ourselves mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically? We are either getting better or worse every day. We never stay the same. We think we are staying the same, we fight hard to stay the same however life dictates that we change. Don't believe me? Please, go look at a picture of yourself from 5 or 10 years ago. Have you ever done that and said something like, "Look at how I am dressed! What was I thinking?!" We all have! :)

So, we can live in ignorant bliss, thinking we are staying the same, perhaps denying the gaps that we have or, we can choose a different path. We can choose to love and accept who we are - I sincerely pray that everyone reading this does - and at the same time be firmly committed to learning, growing and becoming the best version of who we were created to be. They are not competing ideas; if we truly choose to love and accept who we were created to be, the desire to become all that we were created to be will naturally flow from it. Please Friends, lets commit to learning our gaps in all aspects of our lives and then learning to maximize our strengths and minimize the things that prevent us from becoming all we were created to become. And please remember, this beautiful life is not a destination - we don't arrive at a point one day where we get to stop and spend the rest of our days - but rather a journey that is to be lived fully, each and every day.

I want to close with a few quotes I shared on social media earlier this week as I thought about the concept of leadership gaps.

"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen, again and again, fear must be overcome again and again." - Abraham Maslow

"Growth can be painful, change can be painful but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong." - Charles H. Spurgeon

"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living." - Gail Sheehy

And I want to share another quote from Lolly. This one doesn't really have anything to do with what we are talking about however I loved it and just wanted to share it with y'all this morning! :)

"If you want to be remembered, be kind.

If you want to leave your mark, be generous.

If you want to make a difference, be attentive.

If you want to be forgiven, be apologetic.

If you wan to learn, be teachable." - Lolly Daskal

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev

You Never Know...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day on this glorious new day in my Sweet Home Alabama! Additionally, I sincerely hope y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday! Our blessings are many, if only we will choose to see them... :)

I want to start off by sharing a story with y'all. Earlier this week a sweet friend of mine was telling me a story about her precious little girls basketball team. One of the parents had made a comment that alerted the coach that perhaps some of the parents were taking this a little too seriously. The coach called all of the parents together and explained that nobody was going to be awarded a scholarship based on these youth basketball games, assuring the parents that there were no college scouts in the stands. He went on to say that the purpose of youth sports was to teach these young people to build others up, to learn how to be a part of a team/family, and to find out who they are. He then stated that this is what his mentor - he then said his mentors name - taught him. And in that moment, my friend began to cry. Heck, she began to cry telling me the story! You see, the mentor who profoundly impacted the coach who is now teaching my sweet friends precious little girl is the late husband of one of my friends very dear friends. My friend had no idea that the coach knew the man that had profoundly impacted his life - he told her several other things about this man's impact on his life - and yet, because the mentor at one time took the time to selflessly pour himself into others, this coach is now pouring himself selflessly into the lives of others, teaching the lessons learned from the mentor, and one of those precious souls he is impacting is the daughter of my friend. Truly beautiful, isn't it?

In my line of work I have had the opportunity to meet some of the smartest, most accomplished, women and men in virtually every field - lawyers, doctors, politicians, business-people, civil servants, coaches, athletes, etc. One of the things that has always interested me is when they knew...when they knew that they wanted to become what they have become, that they were willing to sacrifice so greatly to pursue the fullness of what they were created to be. And over and over again I have heard something like, "It was a teacher in 4th grade who told me they saw something in me..." or, "It was a coach who told me they believed in me." It was a word of encouragement, a statement of belief that launched them into their chosen field of endeavor, to a life of serving others by becoming the fullness of who they could become. And here is the really beautiful part that I believe is critically important to catch: just as the mentor impacted the coach who is now impacting the little girl, the teacher impacted the doctor who now impacts every single patient they serve! Or the coach who impacted the teacher who now impacts every single student they teach! Do you get the point?!?! The ripple is endless! The mentor impacted the coach who is now impacting the little girl who will one day impact the lives of others! Heck, she already is! This sweet spirit not only cheers for her teammates, she cheers when members of the other teams score because, well, they are her friends. And aren't friends more important than winning and losing games?!?! THAT is another Happy Friday... :)

Friends, you never know the depth and breadth of the influence you have in the lives of others. People are listening to and watching you and I. The convictions we live, the words we speak, and the things we do matter. You may never be a doctor however you just might be the person that God uses to speak encouragement to the young girl who will one day become the worlds leading oncologist that finds a cure to cancer! Please think about the number of lives that would be impacted across the world, for generations, with that one! I don't know your vocational calling or how God wants to use you to serve others, I simply know that lives are profoundly impacted by other lives and you never know the reach of yours. And I am keenly aware that this works both ways - positive and negative. Just as the positive word, the belief in another, can breed life, the pursuit of dreams, etc., the negative word, the tearing down of another, breeds death, destruction, etc. The battle is real and it is not a choice of whether you are going to be in the battle or not - if you are breathing, you are in the battle. You simply must choose which side you will fight for, you must decide what your influence will be!

You and I truly never know the impact of our words and actions. I simply ask, and pray, that we will be intentional with them. You never know whose life you are impacting or when the ripple will end... 

A few things for us to consider as we reflect on this Happy Friday...

"Success is secondary to impact. Success is a list of what you win, gain and attain - it may pass, it may remain. Impact is the test; the hearts, minds and lives you touch, enhance and forever change..." - Rasheed Ogunlaru

"Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it." - Hebrews 13:2

"The more you manifest a servant's heart in all you do, the more of an impact you'll have on people's lives." - Jim George

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well.

Kev

A Couple of Reminders...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new opportunity begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! That's what today is, an opportunity! And guess what? You and I get to CHOOSE how we will live it! :)

This mornings Happy Friday would fall into the category of encouragement. I want to encourage us in how we think and how we choose to live. I am not going to share anything earth shattering or new...it is all stuff you and I have heard before. I have kind of struggled with that as I prepared to write this message. Thoughts of "we all know this" and "what's the use?" tried to take hold in my mind. I then remembered that it is the things that we consistently do that determine the quality of the lives we live. We have to remind ourselves...as we discussed last week, it is so easy to get 1 degree off course and before we know it, we are hundreds of miles from where we intended to be.

I want to share a few excerpts from a blog titled Be the thermostat, not the thermometer which was published on March 4, 2018. You can read the full blog at theeverydaystray.wordpress.com.

"The words thermometer and thermostat sound awfully similar but there is a huge difference. A thermometer is like a mirror, it reflects the temperature of its environment. You'll notice that the language of a thermometer is always influenced by what is going on around it. So when the temperature of a room is hot, the reading is high - if the temperature of the room drops, the reading drops too! Thermometers are in a constant state of change, meaning they can be both "up" and "down" within minutes."

"A thermostat, on the other hand, is used to regulate its environment."

"So we should always be the thermostat, not the thermometer. Why? Because anyone can tell you the temperature. When there's a problem, everyone can see there's a problem. When times are busy, everyone can see that it is busy. If we act like thermometers, and reflect our surroundings, we end up changing as often as British weather changes - which is a lot! When things go well, we are a vision of calm but when things start heating up, we lose our cool too. This is where the quote "show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are" comes from, because it is normal for people to become a product of their environment. But rather than be influenced by life's temperature - we should influence it!"

"What's especially important about being an effective thermostat, or leader is not letting everyone's else behavior effect yours. Thermostat leaders are a rare bunch that set the temperature for themselves, their teams or their organizations. They carry the positive attitude that creates the positive environment! They actively monitor the environment while constantly having a pulse on productivity, morale and stress levels. If the temperature for a team gets too hot because they're under pressure, or they're understaffed or they have looming deadlines, thermostat leaders cools things off by acting as a calming influence. While thermometer leaders lose trust, thermostat leaders build trust!"

"We all have it in us to be thermostats. The real question is: do you want to reflect the environment or do you want to be the change? Don't only fix things when they break, build things that last. True leadership isn't about reacting to the atmosphere, it's about setting it. Change people's expectations, change their perspective, lay the foundations for other to become thermostats too! The best advise is to read people before you lead people. Don't be afraid of standing out because you're different or you think different or you act different - so much good will come from worrying less about being like everybody else!"

So good! So powerful! So true! My wish, hope, and fervent prayer for each one of us Friends, is that we will be thermostats. It is a choice and we will have to make this choice over and over again as each new day dawns! This one is here...let's choose to be thermostats TODAY! :)

Have you ever really observed a dog? Or any other animal for that matter? My chocolate lab is not worried about trying to be a beagle or poodle or any other kind of dog. She is simply her. I tell her I love her and I think she is beautiful - yes, I talk to my dog!!! :) - and yet whether I tell her I love her, she's beautiful or I don't, she still always just loves me and follows me around wherever I go. She is not concerned about what I say to her, she is too busy being her own best self and loving me.

How different would our world be if we lived our lives that way? Simply embracing who and what we were created to be, instead of being jealous of what we are not or focusing on what we think we lack? It really is crazy, isn't it? Here you and I are, fearfully and wonderfully made, created on purpose for a great purpose for which we perfectly equipped, lacking nothing and we spend so much time, energy and thought wishing and trying to be something that we were never created to be. It really would be humorous if it were not so sad. Can you imagine if that during this day my beautiful chocolate lab decided that she was now going to be a bird? Can you even imagine what a failure she would be at being a bird? And how far she would be from becoming all that she was created to become? So why do we do it?

Friends, I beg and implore us to stop all the craziness. You, whoever and wherever you are, are special, you are more than enough, you are perfect. Please, be the you that you were created to be. Please don't worry about someone else's life or journey...it is theirs to walk not yours. This world needs the you that you were created to be, not some knock off version of someone else. If you have lost your way, please spend this weekend rediscovering who you are and what you were created to be. And for all of us, let's spend each day of our life striving to become all that we were created to become. We need to look no further than our fur babies to have this type of excellence modeled for us. :)

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well.

Kev

Look For It!

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! I am so excited for this day! It is going to be a great one!

In a post titled One Degree Off Course, which can be found at uncommoninfluence.com, the writer shared the following:

"I have a friend named Larry who is a retired Air Force Pilot. One day he shared with me an interesting fact about flying. He said that, for every single degree you fly off course, you will miss your target landing spot by 92 feet for every mile you fly.

That amounts to about one mile off target for every sixty miles flown.

If you decided to start at the equator and fly around the earth, one degree off would land you almost 500 miles off target."

Here is the chorus to the song Slow Fade by Casting Crowns:

"It's a slow fade when you give yourself away

It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray

Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade"

Earlier this week someone at my work did a really great job. When I was sharing it with our leadership team I suddenly realized that we hadn't talked about something like this in a long time. A year ago we were very intentionally looking for the good things others were doing and celebrating it. Heck, we even put a plan in place to make sure everyone knew about the great thing someone else had done. And yet, when I was talking about this one person, it struck me that we had not talked about things like that in a long time. Sure, we tell folks when they do a great job, we make sure they are valued and appreciated however we were no longer looking for the little bits of good that each one of us do every day. We are 1 degree off course, we are slowing fading...

I honestly don't know what happened. Could be the pandemic, could be the civil unrest, could be the political...whatever you want to call it! The bottom line is, we were no longer intentionally looking for the little bits of good that each and every one of us does every day. 

In a post about Andrew Carnegie that can be found at bible.org that was published on February 2, 2009, the writer wrote:

"A reporter asked Carnegie how he had hired forty-three millionaires. Carnegie responded that those men had not been millionaires when they started working for him but had become millionaires as a result.

The reporter's next question was, "How did you develop these men to become so valuable to you that you have paid them this much money?" Carnegie replied that men are developed the same way gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold; but one doesn't go into the mine looking for dirt - one goes in looking for gold.

That's exactly the way we pastors need to view our people. Don't look for the flaws, warts, and blemishes. Look for the gold, not the dirt; the good, not the bad. Look for the positive aspects of life. Like everything else, the more good qualities we look for in our people, the more good qualities we are going to find."

Beautiful and brilliant, isn't it? We spend so much time looking at and for the dirt, we don't even attempt to find the gold. Let's be different, Friends. Let's look for the gold in everyone. It is there! Just like mining for actual gold, we may have to move tons of dirt to find it but it is there. Please, I implore each and every one of us, let's make a commitment this day, right here and right now, let's look for the gold in each and every person we are blessed to have in our lives and to cross paths with today!

Finally, I want to share a quote that speaks to my heart:

"Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well.

Kev

I Refuse!

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as this glorious new opportunity begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

I am so fired up for this Happy Friday! The heart is full, the conviction is strong! Let's go! (I wish someone else was awake in the Haslam household so I could high-five someone!) :)

Last Sunday our Pastor, Steve Huskey, preached Part 1 of a series that he has titled "No-vember." (I don't know if that is the way he spells it...it is the way I spell it!) :) I want to share a few of the notes that I took...

- We need to say no to our rights and yes to our responsibilities

- "If they could just see it..."

- We are so convinced that what we see is right

- Everybody has a different perspective - we all have different views

- Modern politics is driven by panic and fear

- Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger...anger leads to hate...hate leads to suffering

- First Passion, First Priority = Love God, Love People

- With God's help we can choose to love all people

- He read this scripture: As a prisoner of the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy a the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

- Always be humble and gentle

- Be patient with each other making allowance for each others faults because of your love

- Starts in your heart = humble, gentle, and patient

- Be humble because your viewpoint is not the only one

- What I see is not all there is to see

- We need to be humble

- We need to be patient because we might be right

- What closes the gap of division is being gentle

- What unites us is not our political views but our people views

As I have thought and prayed about that message, asking God to search my heart, to make me the man He has created me to become, two words kept coming to my mind over and over - I Refuse! They are screaming at my from the depths of my soul, begging me to live a life worthy of the calling I have received! This morning I will make these declarations realizing fully, that as with any commitment, I will have to intentionally choose to make them again tomorrow, and then the next day, and then the next day, and so on until the moment I see Jesus face to face! And, if I have the privilege of seeing you face to face, or you have my phone number, please love me enough, care about me enough, to hold me accountable! :)

I refuse to hate anyone! We are all flawed, hurt and broken. Just because your brokenness might look different than my brokenness doesn't mean I am right and you are wrong or vice versa. It simply means we are both human.  

I refuse to judge another! Heck, I am having a hard enough time trying to figure out how I am supposed to be the Godly man, husband, father, leader and friend that God has called and created me to become. I don't mean to be selfish or anything but I really don't feel like I am an authority on how you are supposed to live your life!

I refuse to stereotype/generalize anyone or any group of people! There are good and bad people in every race, religion, political party, etc. I refuse to be so weak minded to label a whole group as good or bad. And I just have to say this; I really struggle with the "bad people" label...I hate labels! :) People are not good and bad...they are healing and broken. There is a difference. All of us are created for a purpose, some of us just choose not to live it. The last thing the broken need is for me to be labeling them as bad...they need love, not judgement and condemnation. I refuse to play this game! I have friends, people I love dearly, from every race, religion, sexual orientation, political party, occupation - including the currently unemployed, and from multiple states. 

I refuse to let my circumstances define the depth, breadth, or fullness of my life! I will set the temperature in every room I enter instead of just measuring it. The circumstances might not be what I want or wish they were however I have a choice as to how I respond to those circumstances. With God's mighty help I will be a light in every situation. 

I refuse to live a day without hope! Every day is the day the Lord has made and His mercies are new each morning. I will greet every morning with a hopeful, expectant heart. I will seek the Lord each morning, first thing, and I will live my life fully in the hope of his promises.

I refuse to be single-minded! I want to know what the friend of mine with a different viewpoint thinks. Maybe my friend is right and they are the very person God has sent to alter my perspective. If I am so busy telling my friend how wrong they are, shouting my viewpoint, how in the world am I every going to learn?

I refuse to not let might light shine! If I cross paths with another person, I will smile, be polite, courteous, and kind...I could care less what race, religion, sexual orientation, political party or occupation they are. They are a human being and my Bible tells me to love people. Simple as that and I absolutely refuse to keep any love I might have from anyone. We all need love, a smile, an encouraging word, a helping hand and as long as God let's me stay on this earth, I absolutely refuse to withhold whatever I have to give from anyone.

I refuse to live in fear! I will live a life filled with faith and hope. Oh yes, I need God mightily to live this one out but I refuse to live in fear. I don't care the situation or circumstance, God is still on the Throne and He will be with me just as He has been through every other storm of life I have faced until this point.

I refuse to not live up to all God has called me to be. He has put passions in my heart to love, care for, and serve others. I will exhaust every talent, gift, and ability I have within this body to encourage, empower and equip people to become the best they are capable of becoming - whoever they are and wherever they are!

O.k., a little fired up here this morning but I got a few more things I have to get out of this heart...

I was listening to the radio yesterday morning while working out. The host said something like, "It doesn't matter who is in the White House, they don't decide how we live in our communities. What we are as a community is up to us." I do believe this is true and I fully get the heart of what the host was saying. As I thought and prayed about his words, this little nugget of wisdom came to me...

Who do I, and you, have the most control or influence over? In fact, who is the only person you and I can control? Ourselves...that's it. And, many of us fail miserably in controlling ourselves! And yet, we spend hours yelling and screaming at each other, trying to control one another. Please think about that for a minute.... We can't control ourselves, at least most of us can't to the degree we wish we could, and yet we think we can, should and/or have the right to control another. I refuse to play that game! I am going to simply work tirelessly with God to become the man, husband, father, leader and friend He has called and created me to be. To this point that has kept me busier than I want to be for 53 years. If I can help you, please reach out and let me know...I will always help you any way I can. In the meantime, I am not going to try to control you as I am going to be very busy over here trying to get my rear-end under control!

I now want to put some tools in the toolbox for you...things for you to think and pray about. You can use them, or not, however you want. I simply refuse to keep for only myself quotes and scriptures that I have found helpful to me in my life.

"Nothing is easier than saying words, nothing is harder than living them day after day. What you decide today and commit to today, you must redecide and recommit to tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you." - Arthur Gordon

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. - Lamentations 3:22-23

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. - Proverbs 4:23

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. - Isaiah 41:10

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. - Psalm 118:24

When Mother Teresa received the Nobel Prize, she was asked, "What can we do to promote world peace?" She answered, "Go home and love your family."

"Let your light shine so bright that others can see their way out of the dark." - Uthpai Umesh

"We are all so desperate to be understood, we forget to be understanding." - Beau Taplin

"Your perspective is always limited by how much you know. Expand your knowledge and you will transform your mind." - Bruce H. Lipton

"No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind." - Unknown

"We are not responsible for the circumstances we are in, but we are responsible for the way we allow those circumstances to affect us; we can either allow them to get on top of us or we can allow them to transform us into what God wants us to be." - Oswald Chambers

"Sometimes being understanding is more important than being right. Sometimes we need not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens. Not a keen eye that always sees faults but open arms that accept. Not a finger that points out mistakes but a gentle hand that leads." - Pavithra Ram

"Recognizing my blindness is the first step toward regaining my sight." - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well!

Kev

Inspired

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new opportunity prepares to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

I am fired up! I have read, heard of, and thought of some things that have called out to the greatness that is within me to be drawn out. So this morning I am going to share excerpts from 3 different sources, regarding different topics. Basically, I am studying and I am inviting you to sit beside me and learn and grow as your spirit convicts you to do so. :)

The first thing I want to talk about is change, trying new things, and relentlessly pursuing the greatness that is within us. My work family and I have been talking about this a lot. As we have talked, I have often thought about some of the words from John O'Leary in his book, On Fire: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life. The excerpts I am going to share come from Chapter 5 which he titled, Can You Say Yes? Comfort is popular, but courage changes lives.

"...when we try to stay safe, when we strive to stay comfortable, we miss the great opportunities of life.

We all face moments when we would rather stay where we are. Whether we are too injured, or it's too late, or it's too scary, those excuses rise because we have been trained to keep our eyes down, on the rocky soil in front of us, trying to make sure we don't trip. We've got to stay safe, we think. Looking down is just practical. Don't want to look stupid. Don't want to fall.

But when we are staring down at where we are, we can't look ahead to where we want to go. We miss the beauty of what's possible. And we certainly can't see the path to get there."

"...stretching is never easy. It's unwanted. It's painful. It's hard on all parties involved and in all facets of life. It's not pleasant to be stretched and it's not pleasurable to stretch others. Yet the pain of today unveils the possibility of tomorrow.

Stretching leads to growth.

Growth is frequently painful.

But 'growth is the only evidence of life.'"

"Growth is the only evidence of life.

The opposite is true, too. Stagnation is the first step to your grave."

"The fifth choice that you must make to live a radically inspired life is this: refuse to become stagnant by purposefully growing and intentionally stretching in every area of life."

"...in choosing not to grow, we choose to die"

"Things that come easy are seldom worthy."

"Real growth is often unwanted, extremely painful, and ultimately completely worth it."

"When you say and live yes, greater possibilities open each day than you could have imagined."

"I've learned again and again in life that you can show courage or you can be comfortable. But you can't do both at the same time. While comfort might be popular, courage changes lives."

"Vision is worthless without the courage to risk and take action."

"Isn't it time to risk it all in order to build something, inspire another, and become someone great?

Isn't it time to stretch courageously toward the limitless possibility of your life?

Isn't it time to get moving, start dreaming, and begin growing?

Growth is the only evidence of life.

Choose growth."

The 2nd excerpt comes from the transcript of the Focus On The Family radio podcast that aired this past Wednesday, October 28, 2020. The guest was Dave Willis and the topic was Teaching Boys to Respect Women. There is a point where Dave talks about the standards the Bible gives men. The cry of my heart is that every boy and man, that I, would read, and live, these standards every day the rest of our lives. 

"...the Bible gives us some really good standards. No. 1 is to have the courage to fight for what's right, that we, as men - we've got to be willing to enter into the fight. It's not always a fight with our fists, but it's a fight with our hearts. It's a fight of selflessness, of being willing to do what's right. I love that verse where Nehemiah challenged people. Guys, fight for your families today. Fight for what's right. Um, No. 2 is seek responsibility instead of running from it. I think that our world celebrates, uh, a lot of boys and men in culture that tend to just run away from the responsibility of marriage and family and [not] thinking of anyone outside themselves. And we've got to be willing to say, "No. A true man of God is on that's going to seek responsibility to care for others and not - not just think of himself." And kind of one of those - big themes that linked to that is we, as husbands, have such a responsibility in modeling that by how we love our wives. And so, we can teach all the right lessons with our words, men, but listen. The most important lesson you can give your sons on how to respect women is in how you treat your wife. And my wife Ashley and I do marriage ministry. We talk about this all the time on our "Making Marriage" podcast. And every chance we get, we say, "Men, love your life well because by your example, you're teaching your sons how to treat women and you're teaching your daughters what they should expect from men. And by your example, you're either giving your kids a big head start with blessing or you're giving them some baggage that they're gonna have to overcome in years to come."

"Work hard. I think you've got to work hard at whatever you do. Uh, and I elaborate a lot more in the book on these, but just to kind of get through them quickly, work hard - No. 3. Show patience and restraint is No. 4. I think that sometimes, we celebrate guys who will fly off the handle and just lose their temper, but the Proverbs say it's better to control your temper than to take a city. You know, the true warriors of faith are the guys that - that have the ability to show restraint in the right moments instead of just letting their emotions rule them. And then the next one is - is respect your wife. Again, I just kind of touched on that a lot. We've gotta lead the way by that example in how we respect. No. 6 is keep your word and honor your commitments. The Bible says, "Keep your word even when it hurts," you know? Keep your commitments. And the final one is to trust God. We can't do this in our own strength, and we're always going to fall short. But if we can let our kids see that we're trusting in God's strength to guide the way, then we're always going to be headed in the right direction."

Finally, I want to share an excerpt from How To Win Friends & Influence People: The Only Book You Need to Lead You to Success by Dale Carnegie. I read this yesterday morning and it really caused me to pause and think. The excerpt comes from Chapter 8 which is titled A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You.

"REMEMBER THAT OTHER PEOPLE MAY BE TOTALLY WRONG. But they don't think so. Don't condemn them. Any fool can do that. Try to understand them. Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people even try to do that.

There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that reason - and you have the key to his actions, perhaps to his personality.

Try honestly to put yourself in his place.

If you say to yourself, "How would I feel, how would I react if I were in his shoes?" you will save yourself time and irritation, for "by becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect." And, in addition, you will sharply increase your skill in human relationships.

"Stop a minute," says Kenneth M. Goode in his book How to Turn People Into Gold, "stop a minute to contrast your keen interest in your own affairs with your mild concern about anything else. Realize then, that everybody else in the world feels exactly the same way! Then, along with Lincoln and Roosevelt, you will have grasped the only solid foundation for interpersonal relationships; namely, that success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint."

It is my sincere hope that something in this message speaks to your heart. Most importantly, I hope that something inspires you to live the life you were created to live.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please, stay well.

Kev

Why?

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This one is going to be a good one...you can feel the opportunity in this new day! :)

Earlier this week I read this quote:

"Some wake up to an alarm clock. Some wake up to a calling." - Unknown

What do you and I wake up to?

I have thought about that quote soooooo many times this week! It was a sweet, gentle reminder that this is not all about our vocations but rather about our purposes. Our vocations are simply what we do, our purposes are who we are. Our vocations are simply another opportunity to live out our calling. One day we may retire from our jobs, we will never retire from our calling. At your job you have a boss...with your calling, God is your boss - think about that one! :)

There are so many things I want to say, so many things that I want to share! Ultimately, at the end of the day, my sole hope is that you and I will pursue the calling that we have on our lives. That we will make the decision to 1) learn and understand what the purpose of our lives are if we don't already know and, 2) that we will give ourselves tirelessly to our calling until the moment we breathe our last breath.

Let me share some thoughts, scriptures and quotes...I will let God and the great gift He has for us, the Holy Spirit, work the rest out! :)

First, I want to share Romans 12: 6 - 8.

"We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."

See, here is the deal; I know you have gifts and that they are to be used to fulfill a purpose, your calling. How do I know? The Bible tells me that each one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made, created on purpose for a great purpose for which God has already prepared. You are more than enough to fulfill your purpose...you are perfect. You and I simply have to choose to pursue it! It is not a question of whether or not you have gifts; it is simply a question of whether or not you and I will choose to nurture them, do everything we can to reach the full potential of all that we were created to be and use these gifts to serve others. Simple as that...

And let me go back to this whole thing about vocation vs. calling for a moment. I know that I was placed on this earth to encourage, empower and equip others to become all they are capable of becoming. It doesn't matter what job I have, the calling is the same. Heck, it doesn't matter if I am even "working"...if I am walking down the street and I encounter another living soul, I am called to encourage, empower and equip them. I am never "off." It is my calling! It is so much bigger than me. It is about God and what He wants to do through me!

O.K., Kev's all fired up this morning! :) Let's get back to it. I want to share a few excerpts from an article titled, "Are You Living Out Your Calling?" It was written by Cindi McMenamin on January 8, 2013. The full article can be found at crosswalk.com.

"1) God calls us to obey Him...and obedience leads to joy.

When we follow Christ, we aren't promised continual blue skies or unlimited happiness. Jesus did say that to follow Him involves denying ourselves and picking up a cross. At times that will mean suffering. And it will mean experiencing situations that cause us to depend on Him all the more. But there is deep-seated joy that comes from the peace and satisfaction of knowing we are in God's will."

"So, if you are honoring and obeying God in all that you do, you might not necessarily be happy all the time, but you will experience the deep joy and peace that comes from remaining in His presence."

"2) God calls us to glorify Him...and glorifying Him brings joy.

God often lays something on our hearts that He wants us to accomplish for His glory. And there is no greater joy than glorifying God with all that we are and all that we have."

"3) God calls us to a life of faith...and that leads to our dream.

If God called us to live safe, manageable lives, then we wouldn't really need Him, apart from saving our souls and letting us sit it out until we are called home to heaven. Yet God wants to do through you what is beyond you. He wants to put you on display to the world of what He is able to do through a life of faith."

"So what is the dream of your heart? To quit your drudgery job and start that ministry, fulltime? To write that book God has laid on your heart? To trust Him with that move across the country? To expand your business by incorporating biblical principles? If it is His call you are obeying and His glory you are seeking, then He is the one who will equip and empower you to do what is beyond you."

Gotta draw out two things that are just screaming at me from this excerpt...

"If God called us to live safe, manageable live, then we wouldn't really need Him..."

"If it is His call you are obeying and His glory you are seeking, then He is the one who will equip and empower you to do what is beyond you."

Wow! Just Wow... :)

O.K., I want to share a few more scriptures with you...

Ephesians 4: 1 - 3

"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

Romans 11:29

"For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable."

Wow, right?!?! And now we know why there is that nagging pull of our spirit to use our gifts and honor our calling. We can try to ignore them, heap loads of dirt to cover them however the gifts and calling are irrevocable...we will either honor them or they will chase after us all our lives. At least we have been warned! :)

2 Peter 1:10

"Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall."

I also want to share a few quotes...

"I believe there's a calling for all of us. I know that every human being has value and purpose. The real work of our lives is to become aware. And awakened. To answer the call." - Oprah Winfrey

"But beware of this about callings: they may not lead us where we intended to go or even where we want to go. If we choose to follow, we may have to be willing to let go of the life we already planned and accept whatever is waiting for us. And if the calling is true, though we may not have gone where we intended, we will surely end up where we need to be." - Steve Goodier

"If God gives you something to do, why in God's name wouldn't you do it?" - Stephen King

Are we waking up to an alarm or are we waking up to a calling? How we feel when we wake up, our attitudes, and how we approach each day may answer that question for us. I am going to close with this excerpt from Jon Gordon's Weekly Newsletter he wrote on July 10, 2017. It is titled, KNOW YOUR WHY: WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?

"We don't get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it."

Having a vision for your life an knowing where you are going is powerful but it's even more powerful when you know why you are going there. Purpose is the ultimate fuel that moves you towards your vision. Living life without purpose is like driving from New York to California on one tank of gas. You'll be running on empty before you know it. But knowing your Why and having a purpose is like having gas stations along your route where you can recharge and refuel to keep moving towards your destination. You will face adversity, but when your purpose is greater than your challenges and you know why you are moving towards your North Star, you become an unstoppable purpose driven force of positivity. When you know your why and know that way, you will find a way and won't let obstacles get in your way."

Please Friends, let's commit to living a life of purpose, to waking up to our calling every day, the rest of our lives.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! :)

Kev

Learnin' & Growin'

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

Earlier this week I had a meeting that went nothing like I thought it would go. Oh, I thought I knew exactly what the meeting was going to be about and I prepared for what I thought I knew. And my mind was blown by what it was actually about. And as soon as it was over I heard this whisper deep in my heart reminding me, "Seek first to understand than to be understood."

Now, there is a couple of things I want to share before putting some tools in our toolboxes as we learn, grow and become all we are capable of becoming.

1. This wasn't one of those meetings where things go sideways, everyone mad at everyone - Praise the Lord! I am so grateful. No, this was just a conviction in the spirit, a gentle reminder that I need to slow down and seek first to understand.

2. If you are in a place like that, or if you have ever been there, I want to encourage you to be kind to yourself. This is coming from a guy who will beat himself up pretty good over the slightest of mistakes, perceived or real. I am a part of a Bible study and we are studying the Book of James. As our Pastor points out every time we meet, do you know what the entire point of the Book of James is? It is about growing and maturing. How do we do that? By living...and making mistakes. Doh!!! You see, my error is nothing to beat myself up over but rather something to learn from. And, if I spend all my time filling my mind with negative self-talk then I miss the opportunity to learn and grow. I don't want to miss that opportunity and I don't want you to either! :)

O.K., let's get to some learning! :) I looked up some things on seeking first to understand and I want to share a couple of excerpts with you.

The first excerpt comes from an article titled Seek First to Understand and it was written by Joanne Lang on December 6, 2017. You can find the entire article at huffpost.com.

"Part of Dr. Covey's message (addressed in Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood) is that people form opinions based on their own experiences. Unless they work hard to understand the other person's perspective, two people can see the same thing and form completely different viewpoints because they are understanding "autobiographically."

'If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating.'

According to Dr. Covey, learning to communicate effectively is the most important life skill. In my experience, this skill is critical to good decision-making, whether you're a CEO, investor, mentor, partner, or an employee."

"To be a good CEO, manager, advisor, investor, or even a good parent, you need to listen so that you can understand. It's important to get the facts from everyone involved, and (this sounds obvious, but you'd be amazed how many people fail to do this) never make big decisions based on one half of a story - no matter who is telling it."

The second excerpt I want to share is from an article titled, Seek to Understand, and it was written by Vince Lombardo on August 1, 2018. You can find the entire article at heartlandpaymentsystems.com.

"Here are 3 simple steps in Seeking to Understand:

1. Ask - Inquire about the other person's viewpoint, perspective, opinion, context. Be inquisitive. Using words such as Why, How and What are helpful in ascertaining the root of their perspective.

2. Listen - This one is difficult for some of us. Don't ask a question just to ask. Really listen to their response. Stay engaged and you will likely learn something that will help you digest their response more fully.

3. Digest - Take a moment to consider their position. Don't respond immediately. Sometimes, really digesting the response someone gives allows you to see something you may not otherwise see.

Relationships are the fuel of everything we know. We all desire authentic relationships with people who care about us. We want to be respected and also liked. If we all took the time to seek to understand one another's positions, in everyday moments and those filled with tension, the world would be a better place."

Switching gears on y'all quickly here, I also want to share a few excerpts from Lee Strobel's presentation on Focus on the Family titled, Praying for Unsaved Loved Ones. Now, this has nothing to do with seeking to understand however I found these things profound and just wanted to share them with you! :) You can find his entire talk at focusonthefamily.com.

"Second reason we pray for others is because it is a pure expression of love, a pure expression of love. Richard Foster said this - this is an incredible quote - he said, 'If we truly love people, we will desire for them far more than it is within our power to give them and this will lead us to prayer.'"

"Friends, love does not give up on people. Love perseveres. Love is patient. Love does not write people off..."

Pretty powerful stuff, huh? Please, don't give up on people. We are not called to judge, make, change, etc. We are called to love, plain and simple. We all need someone to love us, to believe in us, to hold us up sometimes, and to see the greatness within us that we cannot see. Please Friends, let's be that someone in someone else's life.

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and please stay healthy and well! :)

Kev 

Some Things to Think About...

Happy Friday Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! :)

This morning I want to simply share a few things for you to think, and perhaps pray, about.

Last week I was doing a devotional that contained two questions. It was one of those deals that when I read them, my Spirit moved and I knew I needed to spend some time really thinking about them. I share them with you this morning...

What type of person do I want to be?

How will I be known?

Perhaps not real profound however I think wisdom says we pause regularly to reflect on what our lives are preaching. And there are a couple of real key points here...

1. It is our actions, not our words, that determine - perhaps I should say reveal - what type of person we are. Most of us know the "right" things to say however our actions reveal what we truly believe, who we truly are.

2. It is our consistent actions that create/determine who/what we are. We would be wise to regularly check our daily habits and see if they are leading us where we really want to go. If not, we will find ourselves a long way from anywhere we thought we would ever be, or where we wanted to go.

I am sure I had heard this prayer before however when I heard it earlier this week, it hit different. Here it is...

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen

I think I just got great clarity on the type of person I want to be!!! :)

Finally, I want to share a brief excerpt from The Seven Laws of Love: Essential Principles For Building Stronger Relationships by Dave Willis.

"Here's the truth: More stuff will never make you happy. It's a myth. It's an empty pursuit. Contentment isn't a result of having more; its a result of wanting less. Don't spend your life running in a circle in pursuit of more money, more prestige, or more comfort. Until you're content with what you've already got, you won't be content no matter how much you get."

Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families and please stay healthy and well.

Kev