I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! This day right here...it's gonna be a great one! :)
I, like many people around the world, was shocked and greatly saddened to hear of the crash that took the life of Kobe Bryant, his precious daughter Gianna, and 7 other amazing souls last Sunday. It seemed so surreal, still does. Almost immediately two thoughts came to my mind:
1. We never know when it will be our time. That is actually Biblical. Life is so precious, so fragile. We would be wise to live every day like it is our last for any day it could be and one day it will be. I pray we will all reflect, regularly, on the things that matter most to us, on the purposes we have for our lives and then give ourselves completely to being fully alive. Let's not wait to live fully, to love fully, to invest in the people that we have in our lives today!
2. The Bryant's have great wealth and fame, two things many spend their entire selves trying to accomplish. And the reality is, these things cannot bring any of the incredible people who perished in that crash back. I think we would be wise to thoughtfully consider what we are giving ourselves to every day! The reality is once someone is gone, nothing is going to bring them back... nothing. I am not saying wealth or fame is bad. What I am saying is I think this life is much more about how we live every day instead of what we leave after we are gone. Each one of us must decide for ourselves and nobody can tell anybody what they should choose. Is it worth it to sacrifice your relationship with your spouse and children to make more money? What price are you willing to pay to achieve status or fame? There is a price to everything and yet death has a finality to it that nothing can change.
And I also think there is one more lesson here. If you listen to people talk who really knew Kobe and Coach Altobelli, there is a common theme. They selflessly poured into the lives of others, encouraging them to become the best they are capable of becoming. The "Mamba Lifestyle" we hear about is everyone becoming the very best they are capable of becoming and giving the very best of themselves every single day. It seems that though Kobe had great wealth and fame, he understood those weren't the important things. And Coach Altobelli? There are countless great men, husbands and fathers who trace their greatness through the love, care and influence of Coach Altobelli. What do you and I stand for? What are we living for?
I now want to pivot to another topic. You know how when you hear, see or read something great, you just have to tell people? Well, this happened to me yesterday! I read some great stuff in Happily: 8 Commitments Of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last by Kevin A. Thompson yesterday. I can't offer a higher recommendation for this book! I have gained great wisdom from it. Anyways, I read some things yesterday that I just have to share with you all. Again, Pastor Thompson does such a great job, I am going to simply share an excerpt, knowing full well I could not say any of it nearly as well as he does. What I am going to share comes from the chapter titled, Commitment 8: Happily Endure Whatever May Come. The specific excerpt is found on page 179 and the section is titled, Can You Live for Your Spouse? This is powerful stuff...
Can You Live for Your Spouse?
It's a common question I ask young men as they contemplate marriage; "Are you willing to die for her?" It's not an exaggerated question. Until a man and woman are willing to give their lives for one another, they have no business getting married. That's what a wedding is - a public announcement made to God, one another, and society that a couple is wiling to sacrifice themselves for one another. When a man and woman say "I do," they are promising to put the other person before their own happiness. They are promising to sacrifice their own selves for the well-being of the other. They are vowing to die for each other.
In a wedding ceremony, I try to remind the couple this acceptance of death might come in a dramatic form. It's possible that while on their honeymoon, they could walk into a convenience store where someone pulls a gun. In that moment, the groom has vowed he is willing to lay down his life for his bride. Yet far more likely than that one dramatic act, marriage requires that the couple die to themselves on a daily basis. Time and time again over their life span, they must be willing to die to their need to get the last word, have their way, win the fight, and make their point.
A good marriage is built through a thousand small acts. As a husband and wife lay down their lives for one another, the marriage thrives.
Being willing to die for one another is vital for a healthy marriage, but it doesn't stop there. While every potential spouse needs to be asked, "Are you willing to die for your spouse?' there is a second question that needs to be asked: "Are you willing to live for your spouse?"
It's not enough to restrain ourselves on behalf of our spouse. Love must also motivate us to action.
While our spouse should never be the primary reason for our existence - God plays that role - we should live our lives, in part, for one another. My love for my wife should inspire me toward life. Who wants to be married to someone who isn't full of life? Sometimes there are situations and seasons in which our spouse will not be vibrant or full of life. Yet in most cases, marriage should be the intersection of two people who are full of life, light, and joy. Failing to live our lives to the fullest is not just a dereliction of duty to God; it's also a failure of living up to our wedding vows.
In order to live for my spouse, I will:
- Seek to contribute to the betterment of society. God has given me talents, abilities, and desires that are best expressed when trying to assist others. I will seek to use what I have to make life better for those around me, including my spouse.
- Continue to learn, grow, and achieve. If we are changing, we are dying. For as long as God gives me breath, I will seek to better understand myself, learn new skills, become a better man, and attempt to achieve things.
- Work on my own happiness and sense of self. My wife is not in charge of my happiness or self-worth. We are both to bring happiness into the marriage rather than demanding that our marriage make us happy. My identity is found in who God created me to be and what he said about me. I will not expect my wife to give me what can only be received from God.
- Live in reality and not avoid feelings. Life is full of joys and sorrows. It has many ups and downs. For me to live life, I have to engage in reality. I have to admit pain and accept heartache while not allowing those hurts to hinder my ability to laugh and love. Stoicism is not living. Denial is not life. To live means I won't pretend things are one way when they are actually something else. I will laugh and cry. And I will welcome my wife into those moments of life.
- Find my purpose in God. Humanity was created with a purpose. Until we understand our place in this world - as a supporting character, not the central figure - we can't experience life to its fullest. In part for my wife, I will seek a relationship with God so I can better understand who I am and what I am to do in life.
Marriage begins when two people are willing to die for each other, but it flourishes as they learn to live for each other.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.com.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
No comments:
Post a Comment