How Are You Living?

Happy Friday, Friends!

I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day as a glorious new day begins to dawn in my Sweet Home Alabama! 😊

How are you living? Are you living or are you just alive?

Earlier this week I came across this quote again:

“To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing.” 

Now, from what I have learned, it was either said by Elbert Hubbard or Aristotle. Apparently, there is some debate about it…who knew?! 😊

I will ask again, how are you living? Are you relentlessly pursuing all you were created to be – doing everything you can to maximize the potential that is within you – and pursuing the goals and dreams held in the deepest recesses of your heart, or are you living something less because you are afraid you will be criticized? There are a whole lot of people walking the face of this earth who are alive but not actually living.

I recently heard somewhere – the danger of listening to tons of podcasts!!! – that this is the first “perfect” generation. Everything is geared towards social media likes, instant gratification, and perfection. Think about it; when was the last time you saw someone post a picture of the meal that they burned, of the kids fighting while trying to get them ready for church, or perhaps they simply said, “I had a really bad day”? These are not the things we see. Instead, we see the picture of the perfectly made meal, the children who are all dressed perfectly and smiling, and everyone and everything is “great.” Kind of hard to keep it real when it feels like nothing we see or hear is real.

And here is the tough part; pursuing goals and dreams, challenging ourselves to become all we are capable of becoming is very, very far from perfect. In fact, it is usually downright messy! If we ever try something new, the pathway to success will be marked by failure. Regardless of what you see on social media, none of us jumped up the first time and started walking or hopped on a bike and started riding all around the neighborhood. We all took a step and fell…we pedaled once or twice and fell. And then what did we do? We got back up and tried again. This is how we learned to walk or how to ride a bike and it gives us the key to how success is found in life.

There was a study several years ago where two different pottery classes were told they would be evaluated in two different ways. One class was told that they would be evaluated on how perfect that could make one pot. The goal was to make the perfect pot. The other class was told the quality of the pot did not matter; they would be evaluated on how many pots they could make…the more the better. Would it surprise you to learn that the best pots were made by the class that was focused on making the most pots, not the one perfect pot? The more they made, the better they got.

So, I am going to ask again; how are you living? Are you living like you are trying to make one perfect pot or are you trying to make as many pots as possible? Let’s get real; are you pursuing the goals and dreams in your heart or are you just alive, hoping nobody criticizes you? Yes, if you pursue your goals and dreams, if you strive to become all you were created to become, you will be criticized…you can absolutely count on it! I guess the bigger question is do you just want to be alive, or do you want to live your life to the fullest?

Please remember these wise words from Theodore Roosevelt:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

That last part always gets me! How would you like to answer the question that way?

“How are you living?”

“I am a cold and timid soul who neither knows victory or defeat.”

Please, I implore you, do not let that be your epitaph! Chase your lions! Climb your mountains! Pursue the greatness that is within you!

And I do realize that criticism is hard, and it can hurt. Some criticism is good – we refer to that as constructive criticism. It will come from people who genuinely care about us and are offering criticism to help us get better. I hope we are all blessed with people in our lives that love us enough to give us honest feedback so we can learn, grow, and become all we are capable of becoming. Cherish these people!

And then there will be people who will criticize just to criticize. They are angry, bitter, and have no desire to help us get better. We would be wise to discount their words and distance ourselves from them.

I am reminded of the quote, “Don’t take criticism from someone you would not go to for advice.” I have no idea what is going on however there is apparently an issue about who said this one as well!!! 😊

When looking into this a little further, I came across a couple of excerpts from Dr. Bohdi Sanders that I thought were pretty good pieces of advice.

“Whenever someone criticizes you, consider the source. If the person criticizing you is someone who hates you, who has an agenda, who doesn’t know you and knows nothing about you outside silly gossip, or is simply someone you do not respect, just ignore him. He does not know what he is talking about, does not care about you, and his opinions concerning you are worthless. This is especially true if he criticizes you in public. If he had good intentions, he would have come to you in private with a good heart.”

“You must learn to ignore the opinions of others, unless they are people who you trust and who you know have your best interest at heart. In addition, you need to discern the motive behind someone’s criticism before taking it seriously. Many people use criticism as a means of manipulation. Listen to advice and criticism from those you respect, but always think for yourself and make your own decisions.”

Finally, I want to close with something I found which was written by Philosiblog and originally published on July 12, 2013:

“Say something. Do something. Be something. Critics will criticize, after all, that’s what they do. Give those who are worthy some consideration, and ignore the comments of those who are unworthy. You must do what you do.”

Please don’t hesitate to contact me if there is ever anything I can do for you or your family. I will always help you any way I can. You can reach me at kevin@whatwillyourinfluencebe.blogspot.com.

Have a great day, a wonderful weekend, please cherish your precious families, and please stay well! 😊

Kev