Happy Friday Friends!
I hope and trust this beautiful Friday morning - a day filled with hope, promise & opportunity! - finds you all having a great day!
I have a two-fold challenge for all of us this morning:
1. What is your purpose? Do you know what it is? If it is buried within the deep recesses of your heart, do you dare uncover it? Do you allow it to become alive... perhaps for the first time or maybe it will be like meeting a long-lost friend?
2. Will you pursue it?
Nothing like starting off with two quick jabs to the chin, huh?! Please allow me to put some context around this burden I have on my heart this morning.
A year ago February I was driving to work one Friday morning and a thought, an idea hit me that I just had to share with someone. I thought of a few friends I wanted to share the thought/idea with, I typed it in an email and for the title of the email I wrote "Happy Friday!!!" Over the next few months I would send this "Happy Friday" email out each week, slowly adding more and more people. Truthfully, I really didn't know why I was doing it, I just felt like the "Happy Friday" was something I needed to do and people would tell me that "Happy Friday" spoke to their hearts.
Then last April/May I was driving down to Tucson. Working out and driving is my time with God, to pray, to reflect...that morning was no different. I was talking to God about husbands, fathers, coaches & athletes (the people He had long burdened my heart to help, encourage). As I was talking to God I distinctly remember talking to Him about all of the negativity, the pressures that they face every single day. AND, one of the most infuriating parts to me, they don't have to seek negativity, it searches for them...on TV, on the internet, on the radio, in magazines, in books, just living in society with it's slipping morals, ethics & values. As I hit this moment of desparation in my soul I said, "Why God, why?!?!" And then I got the punch in my gut that altered the path of my life. What I heard was, "What are YOU going to do about it?!?!" Dang it!!! That was not the answer I was looking for! He can fix, change, correct all of this in an instant if He chose! Why is He asking me what I am going to do about it? You know those moments when you know you better sit still, shut up and listen? Yeah, this was one of those moments. I didn't do much talking the rest of the way to Tucson, or all the way back for that matter.
From that conversation was born this blog, a twitter account, a facebook account, I have written a book (that I have to figure out how to get published by the way!), the concept of "What Will Your Influence Be...?" was born, etc. All with the sole purpose of being an intentional, positive influence in the lives of others. While I cannot change what is on TV, the internet, the radio, in magazines, in books or what is happening to the morals, ethics & values in society (honestly, I don't know if I should even if I could) I can provide a positive thought/idea every day. Each Friday I can send out a blog to encourage others. If only one life is impacted positively only 1 degree, then I believe I have lived out the purpose of my life. I can't change everything however I do have a choice in one thing...being an intentional, positive influence in the lives of others.
This is the context in which I ask my questions at the beginning. Please know this Friends, the drive to Tucson that morning was in the 20th plus year of this journey with God, where He was bringing me to the point where I would finally hear, and most importantly act on, "What are YOU going to do about it?!?!"
So my question to you this morning is "What are YOU going to do about it?!?!" I don't know what your "it" is though I do know that you have one...we all do. Some run from "it" for years. As a veteran runner let me tell you that it doesn't work...God has more speed & endurance than you do! Sadly, some run their entire lives, never living fully, leaving unfilled potential while leading unfulfilled lives. Please don't be a runner or the walking dead. Be the you that you were created to be. Whoever you are, whereever you are, please pursue your "it". You are perfectly equipped to do "it" and quite honestly, we (all of us, society) need you to pursue "it"!
Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for any of you. I will always be willing to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and cherish your precious families.
Kev
Friday, May 18, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
When to Act
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and a fulfilling, personally & professionally, week coming to a close for you!
Several times each week I will have a conversation with someone who is trying to make some sort of decision. Should they change jobs? Should they talk to their boss about some problem or concern? How should they proceed on some project? How should they respond to some conflict they have with a co-worker? Men are often trying to determine how to handle some issue or concern with their wife or children. The list is really pretty expansive.
For most of us there are some things that are very clear. These decisions and actions are usually based on values and principles. You don't have to think about them, you just act. These are not the one's I am talking about this morning. No, the one's I am talking about this morning are not quite that clear. The one's I am talking about are when something just doesn't quite seem right but you don't know what it is. I am talking about when things don't quite violate your core values and principles but they come darn close and your spirit is restless. Do you do something or do you sit and wait? What do you do? How do you do it?
Last Friday morning I went to breakfast with a man I am blessed and honored to do life with. He was caught in one of these moments. He needs to make a decision, that as we sat and discussed it, really came down to a decision to fight for his family. Your sitting there going, "Kevin, this is a no-brainer?" As Lee Corso loves to say on ESPN GameDay (the favorite TV show of the men in the Haslam household), "Not so fast my Friend." What if that decision forced you to do something that you said you would never do? What if the paradigm had shifted and you now saw the action in a light you had never seen it before? Suddenly you were going to have to do something you said you would never do, believed in your heart you would never do. Would the decision be black & white, crystal clear to you then Friend? My heart broke for my friend as he explained the situation to me. My heart also rejoiced with my friend as he wept when God showed up - He always does! - and we both came to the realization that he wasn't walking away from anything, he was running to his family. He is now going to have the opportunity to be the provider, the protector, the defender, the leader of his home that he is called to be and he is going to be given the opportunity to demonstrate great humility while he does it.
That was easy. Always is when it doesn't directly effect you (me), isn't it? Oh but my lesson was coming.
Over the past 6 days I have had the honor, the privilege, the heartache and the pain of walking through a storm with my Beautiful Bride and 16-year old son. I have been in prayer about this brewing situation for several months..unbeknownst to me God was preparing my heart. Do I say something? Should I step in? My son needs to advocate for himself, learn to be his own man, learn make his own decisions, etc. At the same time I am his Dad, given the responsibility by God (please let the weight of that hit you Husbands/Dads) to lead, guide and protect him. While he is growing into a fine young man he is still a boy, he is my responsibility and he is counting on me (as I type that tears come to my eyes...I don't necessarily understand the emotion. I feel the weight of my responsibility though I don't feel oppressed by it...it inspires me) to lead, guide and protect him. After much prayer, council with my Bride and a man I am blessed to do life with, I decided to talk to my son about all of it. Friends, the floodgates opened. Not bad at all...our hearts were truly turned strongly towards one another. We saw the same things, felt the same things and came together as one in how to act, how to proceed. The week was filled with meetings, discussions and decisions. On more than one occasion I sat and looked at my boy/man and thought "Wow, he is truly becoming a great man!" As I sit here I realize that he was waiting for his Dad to release him, to tell him it was o.k., to act. He had dealt with and endured a lot - much more than his Dad would have! - and yet he was waiting for the affirming words of his Dad to act (Dad's please let this speak to your heart!). I have to tell you one more part of all of this; you understand fully the weight of everything when your son (I am sure it is exactly the same for daughters) looks at you and says, "Dad, am I making the right decision?" Not an eyes down, not looking at you, kind of flippant question. No, I am talking about the question being asked staring straight into your eyes, feeling like he is trying to peer into your soul, type of question. At that moment - the moment he will act based solely on the leadership you provide - do you fully understand the responsibility of being a Dad.
In both of these situations, as I sit and reflect, I want to share with you what I have learned. I am not saying I have the answers, I promise you I don't feel like I have all the answers as I type this, however I am telling you this is where I have found peace in my spirit.
1. With all decisions seek God's council first. He will lead and guide us, convict our spirits, if we will allow Him. I realize that some reading this may not be followers of Christ. I in no way stand in judgement of you or have a desire to tell you that you are right or wrong. I simply know that I will first choose to pursue the Lord because I don't have enough faith to live without Him.
2. Tied closely to point one, more than likely impacted by point one, is to do whatever you do in a pure-hearted manner. If you are truly striving to do what is right pure-heartedly I have found that everything always does work out. It might not work out exactly as you think it will however, if you are pure-hearted, it will work out best, exactly as it is supposed to.
3. You can never be wrong when you fight for your family. Never! Everything else can be stripped away - money, position, title, etc. - however when you fight for and have your family I assure you that everything will be just fine. There will be storms for sure - life is not easy, we live in a broken world - however when you don't know what to do, if you should act or sit, etc. simply ask, "What is best for my family?" and "What do I need to do for my family?" and let the answer to those questions be your guide.
A tough week? Sure. Would I change it? Oh, I wish my son did not have to experience pain and disappointment though it was through these experiences that I was given the opportunity to prove to him that I am here and I will fight for him, that he has grown as a man, that he and I have grown closer together, that our family united as one. No Friends, I wouldn't change a thing as we are better for having gone through this storm.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your families.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your families & friends.
Kev
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and a fulfilling, personally & professionally, week coming to a close for you!
Several times each week I will have a conversation with someone who is trying to make some sort of decision. Should they change jobs? Should they talk to their boss about some problem or concern? How should they proceed on some project? How should they respond to some conflict they have with a co-worker? Men are often trying to determine how to handle some issue or concern with their wife or children. The list is really pretty expansive.
For most of us there are some things that are very clear. These decisions and actions are usually based on values and principles. You don't have to think about them, you just act. These are not the one's I am talking about this morning. No, the one's I am talking about this morning are not quite that clear. The one's I am talking about are when something just doesn't quite seem right but you don't know what it is. I am talking about when things don't quite violate your core values and principles but they come darn close and your spirit is restless. Do you do something or do you sit and wait? What do you do? How do you do it?
Last Friday morning I went to breakfast with a man I am blessed and honored to do life with. He was caught in one of these moments. He needs to make a decision, that as we sat and discussed it, really came down to a decision to fight for his family. Your sitting there going, "Kevin, this is a no-brainer?" As Lee Corso loves to say on ESPN GameDay (the favorite TV show of the men in the Haslam household), "Not so fast my Friend." What if that decision forced you to do something that you said you would never do? What if the paradigm had shifted and you now saw the action in a light you had never seen it before? Suddenly you were going to have to do something you said you would never do, believed in your heart you would never do. Would the decision be black & white, crystal clear to you then Friend? My heart broke for my friend as he explained the situation to me. My heart also rejoiced with my friend as he wept when God showed up - He always does! - and we both came to the realization that he wasn't walking away from anything, he was running to his family. He is now going to have the opportunity to be the provider, the protector, the defender, the leader of his home that he is called to be and he is going to be given the opportunity to demonstrate great humility while he does it.
That was easy. Always is when it doesn't directly effect you (me), isn't it? Oh but my lesson was coming.
Over the past 6 days I have had the honor, the privilege, the heartache and the pain of walking through a storm with my Beautiful Bride and 16-year old son. I have been in prayer about this brewing situation for several months..unbeknownst to me God was preparing my heart. Do I say something? Should I step in? My son needs to advocate for himself, learn to be his own man, learn make his own decisions, etc. At the same time I am his Dad, given the responsibility by God (please let the weight of that hit you Husbands/Dads) to lead, guide and protect him. While he is growing into a fine young man he is still a boy, he is my responsibility and he is counting on me (as I type that tears come to my eyes...I don't necessarily understand the emotion. I feel the weight of my responsibility though I don't feel oppressed by it...it inspires me) to lead, guide and protect him. After much prayer, council with my Bride and a man I am blessed to do life with, I decided to talk to my son about all of it. Friends, the floodgates opened. Not bad at all...our hearts were truly turned strongly towards one another. We saw the same things, felt the same things and came together as one in how to act, how to proceed. The week was filled with meetings, discussions and decisions. On more than one occasion I sat and looked at my boy/man and thought "Wow, he is truly becoming a great man!" As I sit here I realize that he was waiting for his Dad to release him, to tell him it was o.k., to act. He had dealt with and endured a lot - much more than his Dad would have! - and yet he was waiting for the affirming words of his Dad to act (Dad's please let this speak to your heart!). I have to tell you one more part of all of this; you understand fully the weight of everything when your son (I am sure it is exactly the same for daughters) looks at you and says, "Dad, am I making the right decision?" Not an eyes down, not looking at you, kind of flippant question. No, I am talking about the question being asked staring straight into your eyes, feeling like he is trying to peer into your soul, type of question. At that moment - the moment he will act based solely on the leadership you provide - do you fully understand the responsibility of being a Dad.
In both of these situations, as I sit and reflect, I want to share with you what I have learned. I am not saying I have the answers, I promise you I don't feel like I have all the answers as I type this, however I am telling you this is where I have found peace in my spirit.
1. With all decisions seek God's council first. He will lead and guide us, convict our spirits, if we will allow Him. I realize that some reading this may not be followers of Christ. I in no way stand in judgement of you or have a desire to tell you that you are right or wrong. I simply know that I will first choose to pursue the Lord because I don't have enough faith to live without Him.
2. Tied closely to point one, more than likely impacted by point one, is to do whatever you do in a pure-hearted manner. If you are truly striving to do what is right pure-heartedly I have found that everything always does work out. It might not work out exactly as you think it will however, if you are pure-hearted, it will work out best, exactly as it is supposed to.
3. You can never be wrong when you fight for your family. Never! Everything else can be stripped away - money, position, title, etc. - however when you fight for and have your family I assure you that everything will be just fine. There will be storms for sure - life is not easy, we live in a broken world - however when you don't know what to do, if you should act or sit, etc. simply ask, "What is best for my family?" and "What do I need to do for my family?" and let the answer to those questions be your guide.
A tough week? Sure. Would I change it? Oh, I wish my son did not have to experience pain and disappointment though it was through these experiences that I was given the opportunity to prove to him that I am here and I will fight for him, that he has grown as a man, that he and I have grown closer together, that our family united as one. No Friends, I wouldn't change a thing as we are better for having gone through this storm.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your families.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your families & friends.
Kev
Friday, May 4, 2012
Brokenness
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and a great week coming to a close for you!
On Tuesday - as I was working out and having my time of prayer, lifting family, friends & those I have told I would pray for up...just spending time with God - this overwhelming thought, feeling hit me; everyone is broken. Every one of us has some sort of struggle, pain, hurt, regret, etc...something that we battle in our lives. The brokenness, the struggles are vastly different and yet in everyone's life there is something. Insecurity, poor self-image, pain caused by a relationship, a careless, thoughtless - untrue - word spoken into a life years ago that took root in the heart, financial struggles, unfulfilled promises, dreams unpursued, worry, fear, regret...
As I thought of this it wasn't a helpless, overwhelmed feeling, it was simply a recognition of life. Life is hard; we live in a broken world & we are born with a sin nature. People fail us - intentionally & unintentionally, we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves, we chase unfulfilling things to fill the void in our hearts, etc. No, it wasn't helpless or overwhelming; it was a moment of great understanding wrapped in the the knowledge that while everyone's life has value, meaning & purpose for which they are perfectly equipped, there are hurts, pains & struggles that must be overcome in order to grow to the fullness and maturity of what we were created to become.
As I have thought more and more about this, I wanted to share just a couple of thoughts with you about it:
1. Grace - Please give - to yourself and others - great grace. So you have a problem, challenge, struggle, etc.? Everyone does. Please don't beat yourself up over it, you are not hopeless, you are not a failure, etc. You are normal. Likewise, that person that really irritates you, makes you mad, makes poor choices, etc. Ah, they are just like you and me. There life also has value, meaning & purpose for which they are perfectly equipped and they too have hurts, pains & struggles. Just like you and me. Please Friends, please give great grace to yourself and others.
2. You know what I think one of the great differences is between all of us? The stage we are in our healing. There are the extremes of the gaping open wound of not having even realized yet the brokenness that causes such pain to the one's who are well on the road to healing in knowing their brokenness, who know Who's they are and who they are and who strive to become the best they are capable of becoming each and every day in spite of their brokenness, their pain. In between we find all sorts of characters. We find those who try, desperately, to pretend, hide, cover up, etc. their brokenness. It may appear as false bravado (hiding insecurity or fear), wearing way too revealing clothing (trying to get a man, any man, to provide the love that a father never did), doing things that violate their own hearts, minds, bodies & spirits (trying to finally be accepted somebody) and possibly the saddest of all are those who are just plain mean & nasty (hiding who knows what...mad at the world, mad at life, never fully giving or accepting love). See Friends, we all have something. None of us, in spite of our best efforts to prove otherwise, have it all figured out, walk without pain, without affliction. Sadly, the wound(s) won't heal until we recognize them, admit them (a whole lot of us get stuck here), deal with them and then embrace the perfectly equipped life of value, meaning & purpose we are created to live.
I think God has a great sense of humor. Somewhere around Wednesday or so, this thought, this idea hit me (God is good at that you know!). When someone cut me off in traffic, was rude to me, etc. I would lift them up in prayer. Not for anything particular - IE not that they would become a better driver! - but rather for their hearts, that God would meet them wherever they are on their life journey today, that He would should favor and blessing in their life. It was amazing. I would have that original reaction of "What?!?!", and then all of the sudden I would feel this softening in my heart, I would stop and think, "Kevin, they are hurting, broken, struggling, just like you." I would then say a prayer for them, genuinely wanting great good to come to them in their lives. Suddenly, I didn't care that they cut me off, I sincerely was just hoping they would get wherever they were going safely. I didn't care any more that they had been rude to me; I hoped that their families would be o.k., that their dreams would come true, that they would be happy - truly happy - to the depths of their heart and spirit.
This is the challenge I would like to offer all of us today; knowing that we are all broken, that we all have struggles, I would like to challenge us all - if just for today - to really slow down and pray (if you are not a praying person, send positive thoughts...pure-heartedly!!) for those who cut you off, offend you, make you mad, etc. Please, try it today. I think you might be surprised by how you feel, how you look at life and how it affects you.
Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I truly would consider it an honor & privilege to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
I hope and trust this post finds you all having a great day and a great week coming to a close for you!
On Tuesday - as I was working out and having my time of prayer, lifting family, friends & those I have told I would pray for up...just spending time with God - this overwhelming thought, feeling hit me; everyone is broken. Every one of us has some sort of struggle, pain, hurt, regret, etc...something that we battle in our lives. The brokenness, the struggles are vastly different and yet in everyone's life there is something. Insecurity, poor self-image, pain caused by a relationship, a careless, thoughtless - untrue - word spoken into a life years ago that took root in the heart, financial struggles, unfulfilled promises, dreams unpursued, worry, fear, regret...
As I thought of this it wasn't a helpless, overwhelmed feeling, it was simply a recognition of life. Life is hard; we live in a broken world & we are born with a sin nature. People fail us - intentionally & unintentionally, we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves, we chase unfulfilling things to fill the void in our hearts, etc. No, it wasn't helpless or overwhelming; it was a moment of great understanding wrapped in the the knowledge that while everyone's life has value, meaning & purpose for which they are perfectly equipped, there are hurts, pains & struggles that must be overcome in order to grow to the fullness and maturity of what we were created to become.
As I have thought more and more about this, I wanted to share just a couple of thoughts with you about it:
1. Grace - Please give - to yourself and others - great grace. So you have a problem, challenge, struggle, etc.? Everyone does. Please don't beat yourself up over it, you are not hopeless, you are not a failure, etc. You are normal. Likewise, that person that really irritates you, makes you mad, makes poor choices, etc. Ah, they are just like you and me. There life also has value, meaning & purpose for which they are perfectly equipped and they too have hurts, pains & struggles. Just like you and me. Please Friends, please give great grace to yourself and others.
2. You know what I think one of the great differences is between all of us? The stage we are in our healing. There are the extremes of the gaping open wound of not having even realized yet the brokenness that causes such pain to the one's who are well on the road to healing in knowing their brokenness, who know Who's they are and who they are and who strive to become the best they are capable of becoming each and every day in spite of their brokenness, their pain. In between we find all sorts of characters. We find those who try, desperately, to pretend, hide, cover up, etc. their brokenness. It may appear as false bravado (hiding insecurity or fear), wearing way too revealing clothing (trying to get a man, any man, to provide the love that a father never did), doing things that violate their own hearts, minds, bodies & spirits (trying to finally be accepted somebody) and possibly the saddest of all are those who are just plain mean & nasty (hiding who knows what...mad at the world, mad at life, never fully giving or accepting love). See Friends, we all have something. None of us, in spite of our best efforts to prove otherwise, have it all figured out, walk without pain, without affliction. Sadly, the wound(s) won't heal until we recognize them, admit them (a whole lot of us get stuck here), deal with them and then embrace the perfectly equipped life of value, meaning & purpose we are created to live.
I think God has a great sense of humor. Somewhere around Wednesday or so, this thought, this idea hit me (God is good at that you know!). When someone cut me off in traffic, was rude to me, etc. I would lift them up in prayer. Not for anything particular - IE not that they would become a better driver! - but rather for their hearts, that God would meet them wherever they are on their life journey today, that He would should favor and blessing in their life. It was amazing. I would have that original reaction of "What?!?!", and then all of the sudden I would feel this softening in my heart, I would stop and think, "Kevin, they are hurting, broken, struggling, just like you." I would then say a prayer for them, genuinely wanting great good to come to them in their lives. Suddenly, I didn't care that they cut me off, I sincerely was just hoping they would get wherever they were going safely. I didn't care any more that they had been rude to me; I hoped that their families would be o.k., that their dreams would come true, that they would be happy - truly happy - to the depths of their heart and spirit.
This is the challenge I would like to offer all of us today; knowing that we are all broken, that we all have struggles, I would like to challenge us all - if just for today - to really slow down and pray (if you are not a praying person, send positive thoughts...pure-heartedly!!) for those who cut you off, offend you, make you mad, etc. Please, try it today. I think you might be surprised by how you feel, how you look at life and how it affects you.
Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you or your families. I truly would consider it an honor & privilege to help you any way I can.
Have a great day, a wonderful weekend and please cherish your precious families.
Kev
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